


Avatar

by Amaya_Ithilwen



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Around end of S13 - Alternate Storyline afterwards, Bloody, Canon-Typical Humor, Canon-typical Cursing, Coma, Epsilon is gone, F/M, Felix is going to die, Fluff, Gen, M/M, North ans York are back, Peaceful live after all is solved, Post-War, Theta and Delta are back, almost-death, maybe some kind of family-thing starting up, really a lot of fluff, tons of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:44:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 135,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaya_Ithilwen/pseuds/Amaya_Ithilwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of supposedly being dead, two ex-freelancers suddenly show up yet again.</p><p>It quickly becomes obvious that there are people who are having trouble accepting that these two are back, and there are many things that they will have to sort out in order to finally be able to move on together.</p><p>Both men have pasts with certain people, and that makes it rather awkward being around them once again.</p><p>And to make things even more complicated, there’s still the war with Hargrove lingering in the background—not to mention that Locus and Felix are still after everyone.</p><p>Will everyone be able to finally sort it all out and come clean with their feelings?  Will they be able to become happy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or the characters of this series. Only my OC, Alaska McCormick is my own character and I own all rights of her as I invented her all by my own :)
> 
> Have fun guys! :)  
> I hope the reading rehearsal made you curious and you are going to like the story here.
> 
> It will be a rather long story here, so I hope you guys will be going this way with me till the very end =)

Just outside of one of the garages, a group of soldiers stood around. From afar, they were a blur of different colors: teal, grey, blue, red, maroon, pink and orange.

 

Additionally, there were two other figures in tan and violet armor on the opposite side of the colorful blur. These two were currently being scrutinized by the larger group.

 

Unlike normally when excited chatter would fill the air around said group, they were all silent at this time—shocked as all fuck.

 

A smoking bullet hole was in the wall between the violet and green armored figure’s head.

 

The guy beside him, the tan and white armored man called York, was the first one able to find the ability to speak again.

 

"It looks like someone's pretty pissed at you." He regarded the bullet hole thoroughly before sending a pointed look to the violet armored figure standing beside him.

 

North, the man in violet armor with green trim, glared back at him from out of the corner of his eyes.

 

"What gave it away? The bullet hole?” he asked, “Besides, who says the bullet was for me? Weren’t you the playboy of the team?"

 

York grinned at that.

 

"Firstly, I think it was more the silence giving it away, accompanied by the bird's chirping. Secondly, the bullet hole is closer to your head than mine. And besides, Carolina is my one and only. I wouldn’t dare fucking around with other girls than her." As he spoke, York pointed to the hole to show clearly what he meant about the closer proximity of the bullet to North's head than his own.

 

North didn’t really listen to York’s rambling anyways, already mentally tracking back where the bullet had come from to search for any indication of a sniper being on the hunt.

 

When the line of fire ended on the roof of a building, he suspected the sniper had been there but he couldn’t see anyone now.

 

Either the sniper was already long gone or they were so good at hiding that they could lie in front of his eyes and North wouldn’t be able to see them.

 

He too had managed to hide so well on more than one occasion that nobody could find him even if they were almost stepping on him.

 

What drew him back was someone sighing heavily.

 

Looking around to the large group standing there, he could see a familiar figure shaking his head with another heavy sigh.

 

“What’s up, rookie?” the tan armored figure asked in a casual tone that made the grey and yellow armored soldier he was addressing just then shoot him an angry glare.

 

“Mac again?” the teal figure next to Wash was the one who asked the question. It was pretty clear that the guy standing there only had the teal armor in common with Carolina. Aside from that, he was the complete opposite of the former teal leader of the Freelancers.

 

Wash nodded, “Yeah, another survival trip. Although she just came back from another one.”

 

The guy standing next to Wash, North remembered his name being Tucker, scoffed, “Just let her be. I think it’s better to wait until she’s back.”

 

Wash nodded in agreement to that, both men preferring not to say anything about the second part of the message they had all just received aside from the obvious.

 

_“I’m going to rip off the balls of whoever is telling North who I am and roast them over a fire.”_

 

Sure, Wash knew that only he and Tucker knew rudimentary things about her past so far. Sure, everyone knew her other nickname; Ala. But given the fact that lots of girls here on Chorus had the name Alaena as that seemed to be an incredibly preferred name for girls for the parents here, she had decided to take up her second nickname; Mac.

 

All of the various Alaenas were called Ala anyway, so another Ala thrown into the mix would make the whole thing way too difficult.

 

During their time here on Chorus, every one of the crew started calling her by her second nickname. This had become something of a habit and nobody really thought about using her first nickname anymore given the problem that you would have ten girls responding to Ala instead of only one.

 

“Who’s Mac?” York asked then, immediately adding afterwards, “Is she hot?”

 

That, of course, caused North to groan and rub one of his hands over the visor of his helmet.

 

Since this was a warzone, they all preferred leaving their helmets on outside of safe places to make sure that they weren’t shot.

 

“Hell yeah, that girl’s fucking hot. Just watch out to make sure you don’t burn your fingers when trying to get too close to her.”

 

The grin in Tucker’s voice was obvious. For the first time in his life, York was momentarily speechless and just gaped at the teal armored soldier.

 

North chuckled beside him, “Looks like you got some competition there, huh, York?”

 

It took another two or three seconds before York obviously started grinning. North and Wash both knew him well enough to know he when he was doing so, “Sounds like a challenge. I’m in.”

 

This time both North and Wash groaned and shook their heads. This was going to be a horrible experience considering that the two wannabe womanizers were setting up a challenge with one another.

 

Speaking of challenges and Mac though, either he or Tucker would have to go check on her.

 

To be honest, it was an extreme shock for Wash to see York and North come back when the Reds and Blues were sent out to investigate a crashed ship.

 

After air surveillance caught wind of a signal of an unknown aircraft which was obviously about to crash, Tucker, Donut, Simmons, and Grif had gone to investigate. They came back and immediately called for Wash, saying that the guys that had stumbled out of the crashed ship knew him.

 

He had been in a meeting with Kimball, Doyle, and Carolina but when Tucker came to get him, Kimball had said that he should go and check.

 

Well, he was pretty shocked to put it lightly when he saw North and York standing there with York already joking around with Tucker about chicks and stuff while North was standing beside the other guys with a relaxed but attentive posture all the same.

 

He was pretty sure he must have been standing there for more than five minutes, just gaping at his former team members that he had believed to be dead for years now.

 

It was Grif who pulled him out of the reverie he had been in for this entire time: “Do you really want to just stare at them all day long? They can still leave, y’know.”

 

“No! I— Uh—“ Wash stuttered and coughed to get his thoughts sorted out before saying something again, “It’s just… unexpected.”

 

“Well, we thought about the same when the guys here picked us up and told us they knew you and Carolina.” North replied in a calm and friendly tone, the same way he would always talk with people.

 

“Tell me…” Wash grumbled, not really bothering to reply to North’s comment and moving to stand with his people.

 

Not that he wasn’t happy to see his two best friends of former days again, but he was skeptical. He had seen both of their bodies and knew they were dead. He would be convinced easier perhaps if he hadn’t have seen the bodies earlier, but that was why he was so reluctant to believe his eyes now.

 

He had seen their bodies and he was skeptical about whether or not these guys really were his friends given that.

 

As if North was able to read his thoughts or somehow sensed his feelings – fucking empathy! – he then said, “We’re real, Wash.”

 

“But how? That’s not even feasibly possible!” he exclaimed, feeling his anxiety and panic rising up in his chest as it usually did whenever he encountered something he was unused to or that was new.

 

“I am sure you know the movie _Avatar_ by James Cameron already from years back and how the plot was already copied several times for other movies?” asked the violet armored man, getting Wash and the others to nod after a moment once they remembered the plot of the film.

 

“Well, let’s say the set-up for that movie is about the same situation we had been in. It’s an Avatar-like project we had going on with Tex when we were suspicious about what the Director was up to.” North explained patiently with York nodding from time to time, “We cloned our bodies and transferred our minds into the cloned bodies shortly after York lost his eye. To make our plan plausible, we had to inflict the same wounds to our clones as we had. Which meant me getting shot and York losing said eye.”

 

It took some moments before Wash seemed to realize what he was saying, “So you two were clones when you came back from our monthly planet leave?”

 

York nodded, “Exactly. It was one of the moons of Chorus where we hid a Pelican with our real bodies in cryo sleep and we returned after that.”

 

“But you died years ago! Why did you decide to return now?” Simmons, the maroon armored figure, spoke up just then. He obviously knew one or two things about Project Freelancer considering that they had helped take down the project as far as they knew before their group had crash landed on Chorus.

 

North sighed at that, “I guess there was some flaw in our plan. The moon was more of a second guess we took. We actually wanted to put the pelican on the planet itself, Chorus, but when we noticed that there were people living on it, we decided to relocate the party to this moon there.” North pointed up to the sky where the moon had just started rising towards the sun again.

 

A wry smile had appeared on his face that Wash could tell from the tone of his voice when he spoke next: “Anyway, we didn’t account for the fact that the moon has a cycle of sixteen years, where ten of them are in the shadow of the planet. The place where our plane was located was in the shadow and consequently away from the sun which is why we weren’t able to wake up. We were missing the sun which would have provided the energy needed to make us wake up. The few solar beams the system managed to gather were enough to keep the system running together with a huge supra-battery. But the wake up process needed far more energy than that.”

 

“So you didn’t wake up because the moon was behind the planet and you now did it as the moon is close to the sun again?” Simmons seemed to be the smart-ass of the group, North suspected, but he didn’t say anything about that as he was way more polite than York.

 

“Something along those lines.” York confirmed beside North, adding, “Anyways, after the death of each of our clones, our minds returned over the connection chip in our neck besides the implants back to our real bodies, but we were sleeping away still. Which is why we were so extremely shocked when you told us the year and we realized that we had been out cold for ten fucking years.” At this note, York’s voice turned extremely serious. He seemed rather concerned by this information.

 

“Okay?” Wash muttered, feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything, “And what about your AIs? I remember having wiped them out with the EMP together with the other Fragments.” Wash asked, still feeling a bit confused by all the information he had just received and the given fact that his friends who he had believed to be dead had just popped up from nowhere.

 

Neither York nor North replied.

 

Instead there were two figures appearing on the shoulder of each of them. Beside North’s head a purple little figure showed up, waving awkwardly with a “Hi,” while a green figure appeared beside York’s right side of his head.

 

“D, what have I told you about showing up on my right side?”

 

The figure flickered and appeared on York’s left shoulder, although he was partially being hidden by his helmet, “I though it was more polite to show myself clearly and not to be hiding partially behind your head, Agent York. It’s a logical thing to do.”

 

“How about asking me to turn around?” the man asked a bit grumpily, turning around a bit so everyone could see the green figure.

 

“Hello, soldiers, I am the Artificial Intelligence Program Delta. I am pleased to meet you.” Delta introduced himself to the assembled group.

 

Grif couldn’t help but ask, “Does this guy always ramble like that?”

 

“Excuse me, but I do believe this is the polite way of talking.” Delta replied, obviously confused by Grif’s commentary.

 

York sighed and answered Grif’s question in Delta’s place, “Yeah, he does.”

 

“You have my sympathy.” Grif stated dryly, earning him a hit into his ribs by Simmons with his human elbow.

 

“What?” the Hawaiian asked with his lazy voice, not really caring about Simmons’ hit.

 

“Some people at least have some manners…unlike you, fat-ass!” the redhead chided him.

 

“I have manners. I just don’t fucking care to show them, nerd!” Grif shot back, staring right back into Simmons’ visor.

 

“Are those two guys always like that?” North asked, a bit confused by the bickering starting to take place between them.

 

“You mean our old married couple?” Tucker asked jokingly.

 

This earned a combined shout from both Simmons and Grif of “We’re not married!”

 

“Uh-huh, sure.” Tucker replied, nonplussed by the shout he had just received.

 

“Anyway, back to topic.” Wash then took over before everything got too out of hand, “How come your AIs are still here?”

 

“Those were copies we set up with D’s help. But after they were ripped from our necks when our clones were dead, the copies of the AIs sent all the information they had gathered to their original AI. Which is why we know what happened until our deaths, but after that we do not have any clues.” York explained, another stern expression crossing over his features and showing his struggle with the lack of ten years he now had to face.

 

North’s face got rather stern at this remark as well, and he nodded when Simmons commented, “So a thorough copy, including every detail for a good cover-up.”

 

York’s seriousness that he had taken up when it came to the topic of the ten lost years, however, disappeared suddenly the moment he saw a teal armored figure escaping the building Wash had come from before, the well-known gait and posture giving away that this was the person he had been impatiently waiting for all this time.

 

“Carolina!” York called out, starting to run towards his former boss and love.

 

This caused the teal armored Freelancer to stop dead in her tracks and gape at the men standing there that she had long thought to be dead.

 

“God, I am so happy you’re here too and well!” York had almost arrived at where she was standing.

 

Only five seconds later, the tan armored man was sprawled on the ground wheezing and desperately trying to get back air in his lungs.

 

Wash and the others stood there, frozen in shock, just as they had been minutes ago.

 

“Did Carolina seriously just hit York?” Grif asked incredulously, looking at the pair some feet away.

 

“Ouch, what the fuck, Carolina?” York asked, finally having gotten air back into his lungs after Carolina hit his solar plexus with deadly accuracy.

 

“What the fuck? I could ask you the same!” she exclaimed.

 

Wash and all the others blinking extremely surprised considering the fact that they never witnessed the usually so composed Freelancer freaking out, “You’re showing up here after fucking years and acting like nothing happened?” she shouted before turning on her heel and leaving the place.

 

Nobody dared to follow her as nobody wanted to get shortened a head just then.

 

“You have the same big impact on her as always, York.” North remarked dryly, watching York stand up again and breathe in deeply.

 

It took only moments for the easy grin to return to the tan armored figure’s lips, “Yeah, I know. I am pretty stunning, after all!”

 

North chuckled lowly, shaking his head and turning back to the guys still standing around him in stunned silence.

 

“So… how about you guys introduce yourselves now as you all know pretty much all there is to know about the two of us?” he suggested helpfully.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of my newest work. However, I am currently working on finishing Sanctuary, so this one here could have a longer break since there will be some more chapters on Sanctuary until everything is done :)

Later on that day, when the sun was already setting, Mac sat on an edge in one of the caves in the hills. The cave was a bit higher than the ground, making an extremely good watch point, but not high enough to be over the trees and give away her place.

 

When she noticed someone entering the woods, she retracted, treading out the fire with her feet to keep the embers spending warmth but not giving away her position.

 

Footsteps drew closer to the cave she was in. She took her sniper rifle and hid in one of the side caverns of the cave, starting to aim at the entrance. When she saw a teal figure entering, heaving breaths like a steam locomotive, she knew that it was Tucker.

“Dude, seriously, when you want to get shot keep up with that.” Remarked Ala dryly, lowering her rifle and starting to walk towards the solder who just jumped up in the air about a meter high.

 

“If you keep that up I first die of a heart attack!” screeched Tucker, grabbing the place on his armor his heart was underneath.

“Next time you either try being stealthier or you inform me about coming up.” Mac muttered, throwing some wood on the fire and sitting down at it.

 

Tucker waited some more moments to breathe properly, before starting to walk towards the girl sitting at the fire. “You changed your armor.” He remarked, sitting down on the opposite site and taking off the helmet.

 

Mac did the same only moments ago. Looking at her now, Tucker noticed that she looked like having aged for years within mere hours. Was this because of the guys?

“Yeah, I did.” She simply replied, Tucker sighed.

“Why did you do that?” Tucker lift his hand when Mac wanted to answer. “Let me rephrase that. Why don’t you want the guys to know who you are?”

 

This caused Macs shoulder to slump, before she answered simply. “It’s complicated.” She shook her head when Tucker wanted to say something, instead now waiting for her to explain further. Her soul was in a great turmoil and she felt horrible from all the memories coming up just with the guys showing up at the place here while she was on watch.

 

“This here.” Mac made a motion with her hand to symbolically display what happened only hours ago. “Provoked so many hurtful and bad memories. I thought I’d be over that, seeing him and having this memories returning, but it turned out that I am not. It’s more than ten years ago, Tucker. People change and I needed to go on.” She explained with a tired tone to her voice and face. “I changed and he did as well. I don’t think this will work out as it did before everything. I am hurt too. Because of the memories but also because he didn’t tell me.”

 

“You know he couldn’t have.” Replied the teal armored soldier.

“I know Tucker, I know. But still, it hurts.” Sighed the Special Ops, playing with the clasps of her now completely blue helmet. “Still, given all that happened and the situation at hand, I think it’s better he doesn’t know. And I needed some space to sort out my thoughts and feelings before being able to face them.”

 

The dark skinned man nodded, looking at one of his best friends for some more moments to assess the situation at hand.

“So you are going to hide here some more until we drag you out?”

“I don’t hope it’s going to be this way. I will stay here for some days and then return and act as if I don’t know him. Which is why I prefer you calling me Mac and not telling him about my identity.” Answered Mac with a sad smile.

 

“I can understand where you are coming from, although that doesn’t mean that neither I nor Wash are okay with that. We both think it’s better you tell him the truth from the beginning.” Tucker tried again, but earned another sad smile.

 

“Please Tucker, just this one time.” Mac also would love to tell North everything, how she missed him, how she had cried when she saw him getting killed by the Meta, how she still dreamed of him almost every night. How she never had been able to be this happy as she had been back then given the fact that she lost several important people within five years tops.

She had locked away her feelings after that to somehow stay sane and not go totally nuts.

 

It again was quiet for some moments, before Mac suddenly snorted, noticing something about what Tucker said.

“So you already talked with Wash about my case.” She could see the first confused and then questioning glance of the dark skinned man. “Never needle Simmons and Grif again about being an old married couple. You and Wash aren’t much better.”

“What the fuck?” Exclaimed Tucker, an obvious display of rage to overplay the other feelings. But Mac could see right through his mask. She could see the blush darkening his cheeks a bit and the embarrassment in his eyes.

 

“Wow, calm down there cowboy!” She said with a laugh, those words calming the teal armored soldier down again. “I just said that it’s rather obvious that you have a thing for our paranoid CO when someone is able to see behind your mask.” She replied with a grin.

Tucker decided to keep his trap shut and looking away embarrassed. “It’s complicated.”

 

Mac snorted at that. “Okay, I give you that once since I used this explanation too some moments ago. But latest when I tell North, you’re going to tell Wash.”

“Which will never happen if it was about you?” Tucker raised an eyebrow at her comment.

“Well, let’s see what the future brings. But I certainly will try keeping it a secret.” She replied with another low laugh. “But anyway, I know that you’re so whipped, that you probably will tell Wash a bit earlier what is up than I do. Even more considering that he seems to have a thing or two for you too.”

 

This caused Tuckers head to snap up in surprise, gaping at the Special Ops in front of him who started laughing. “Seriously, for being such an observant bastard you’re pretty blind when it comes to yourself huh?” she asked, chuckling lowly and putting some more wood on the fire before continuing. “The way you guys look at each other when you think nobody, even more important the other one isn’t noticing. The way you keep around each other, the way you tend to know exactly how the other feels and what he thinks. Come on. You’re even worse than Grif and Simmons in some parts.”

 

This caused Tuckers facial color to again darken. “You… you think?” he asked after another amicable silence of them, causing Mac to roll her eyes. “Seriously, take that stick out of your ass you’re always accusing Wash to have and start trying to get him. It’s war Tucker. People can die every moment. Even more when it comes to Wash. He could have died several times by now and died once for real.”

 

This caused the teal armored man to sigh deeply. “I know. And that’s it what makes me so anxious.”

“What the dying thing?” asked Ala, not really understanding what Tucker wanted to say.

“No.” exclaimed Tucker, before adding. “Or… yes in a way. Not the dying part but the losing part. I am afraid I am going to lose him during this fight, just when we were about to get together.”

 

“I know what you mean.” This time Ala turned her head and looked outside the cave. In a war as cruel as this one here, where you never know when you are losing your best friends, beloveds and family, you are getting reluctant about bonding. But in the end, at least in her book, it was the wrong thing to do.

“But think the other way around, Tucker.” Started Ala then. “When losing him for real now. Wouldn’t you have wanted to make some memories as a couple before that happens? Wouldn’t you regret it when he would die and you wouldn’t have had the balls to tell him what you feel? Or at least try it?”

 

This caused a long silence settle over them whilst Tucker was thinking over what he just heard of Mac, before he snorted halfheartedly. “I could say the same to you.”

“Yes and no. Unlike you, I already have made some memories with North as a couple. So it would be unfair comparing me with you.” She replied with a sad smile.

 

She knew how devastated she had been when she had lost North, had even seen him die. But the good memories she had made together with him where the ones that gave her strength to pull through again. Those memories as a couple were the things that made her suit up again after his death and go back to the fight.

 

Going back to the war had two effects. She was able to pull her mind off Norths loss and the good memories evoked the will in her to help others keeping that happiness she hadn’t been able to preserve as she lost her love because of this stupid fight going on.

 

Whatever it was she had been sent to, she did it with all her power, always persuading herself it was to make the world better and the war to end, in order to keep as much couples and lovers safe and together as she could.

 

She didn’t want others to go through the same horror and the same gut wrenching and heartbreaking emotions as she had to go through.

 

“Earth to Mac, you copy?”

“Copy.” Mac replied automatically, not really registering what Tucker just said.

“Then pull your head out of whatever hole you had it buried in, I’m talking to you.” Snarked the dark skinned man, observing her attentively and with a smile playing around his lips.

“Sorry, I was in thoughts.” Mac replied with an apologizing smile.

“Taking from the way you smiled I suspect those were better times?” asked Tucker, looking at her attentively.

 

Mac only nodded, sighing and pushing her thoughts and memories away before speaking again. “What did you say?”

This time it was Tucker sighing, as if speaking to a petulant child. “I just asked how you think I should make it then?”

“You mean getting into Washs pants?” Mac asked with a sly grin.

 

For being so bold when talking about steamy stuff, Tucker was easy to embarrass when it came to Wash and doing that with him. This also was pretty obvious in Tucker coughing awkwardly and looking away embarrassed before answering. “Yeah, that.”

 

With a snort, Mac reached behind her and took a sip out of her water bottle she always had with her in one of the storage compartments of her armor.

“Hm… Wash’s not the easiest to get to – to put it nicely. He can be extremely dense. He always had been.”

 

This caused Tucker to again look up. Mac grinned. “North told me a thing or two about his fellow Freelancers, also about Wash. He had been the happy go lucky type of guy, who tended to put his foot in his mouth more than not. He was the kind of guy to run over the director when rounding a corner with his skateboard.”

 

“Wait, Wash can skate?” Tucker asked incredulous and Mac nodded. “He had a skateboard in his locker. Anyway.” She took another sip and then closed the bottle. “He was as awkward as he is now, but he had been more the kid-like type of guy. He was the rookie of the group and got treated this way by the others. And he behaved this way too. His specialization was on weapons.” Explained Mac tapping with her index finger on her lower lip to think about more. “Anyway, if you want to know more, I guess it’s better asking North or York when Wash doesn’t want to tell you. I just know that he became the way he is because he got betrayed by more people he trusted than you can count and Epsilon fucked his brain over on top of that.” Tucker nodded to her information about Epsilon as they all knew this snippet of information from Wash so far.

 

Mac coughed, deciding to take another sip from her water bottle before continuing. “Anyway. For seducing Wash… How about being yourself just with a little less innuendos. Maybe try to get his mind off Locus and Felix once a while to make him forget his sorrows?” offered Mac, what made Tucker nod in appreciation and thinking about what she said.

 

“You know, I had been rather good at skateboarding myself when I was young. I guess I could try to bribe him into a little skateboarding once in a while. I saw that there’s a self-made skate part behind the lieutenants barracks and they’re skateboarding there sometimes.”

Mac nodded appreciatively “Sounds like a good plan. Tell me how it turned out when you were on that date together.”

 

“You just want the steamy details, don’t you?” replied Tucker with a smug grin.

“Guilty as charged.” She replied with a grin, before shooting back. “But you aren’t that better than I am in this department.” She winked at the dark skinned guy and he laughed at that.

 

“Yeah, I guess we’re both suckers for happy endings, huh?” he muttered.

“I guess so. But I don’t think it’s so bad considering the place and time we are in. Some sugary romance definitely lifts the spirits and you see every once in a while that the world isn’t as bad as you sometimes think she is when fighting this pointless war.” Mac explained, again looking out of the cave and noticing the biggest of the three moons rising and bathing the wood in silvery light.

 

“Right. Some sappy shit never hurts.” Tucker agreed, following her glance and observing the moon some time how it was slowly wandering over the sky. Around one in the morning the moon would set, letting the second biggest of the moon taking over, although this one never was able to shine as bright as the biggest did. The third one, the one North and York came from, was now permanently on the sky for ten years, but you almost didn’t see him. You more saw him when it was day, also seeing its rings that were circling it like the rings of Saturn did in their home galaxy.

 

“Sooo…” this word, the o being lengthened like that, made it pretty clear of Mac that she was in trouble now. “How about telling me something of your past?”

This caused the girl to snort. “Who’s eager for the steamy details now?”

 

Tucker laughed at her comment. “I never said I ain’t. So? You telling or not?”

The Special Ops again snorted. “Okay, but I guess this will take some hours. You still curious.”

Tucker sported his best smile. “I have plenty of time. Aside of training the recruits, I do not have much to do.”

 

Mac nodded at that. “Okay, point taken. As long as you don’t shirt off your duties. Grif doing it is enough.”

Tucker flipped her off at that, whereas she rolled her eyes at that. “But there’s one condition though.”

“Which would be?” Tucker asked, a bit annoyed.

“You aren’t telling anyone what I am telling you now and you aren’t telling the guys, except of Wash, about my location or I am going to another place only I know and you won’t see me again until I return out of my own free will, got that?”

 

Tucker groaned. “For fucks sake, yes! I got it. So you starting now or do you want to talk all night about the ifs and when’s of not telling your crush?”

This caused Mac to cough this time, but she decided it was better to start talking instead of stalling any longer as Tucker wouldn’t stop needling her about that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Flashback about Macs past is about to start.  
> How North, South and Mac meet each other. (Although North is out of it all the time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, let's find out what its about Macs and Norths shared past and why she reacted like that.  
> Although I suspect you guys already figured out why she freaked out like that, as smart as you guys are. :)

It was the middle of the night, and a storm was raging over her head.

 

Lightning was chasing lightning, and the rolling thunder never seemed to stop outside—it only changed in volume.

 

Rain was pouring down from the heavens for hours and the streets were more or less flooded ankle deep.

The canalization system here had always been shit, but that was especially noticeable when it was raining like this. It was completely overburdened, which meant that the streets and basements would be flooded.

 

It looked like the rain wanted to drown the sins of the world and wash away all the dirt at the same time.

 

The power had already gone out hours ago. The power supply in New Bangkok was pretty shitty, but the loans were undeniably cheap.

 

Since the power supply was so bad, Ala always had some candles and torches in storage to put up when another storm came upon them like the one already raging outside.

 

She would set up the candles and light them, usually only minutes before the power went out. Now it was dark outside and looked like the world would end here and now.

 

Sitting on the couch, she read a book in the light of one of the candles. An old bestseller. _Illuminati_ by Dan Brown. She was just about to turn a page of the book, when she heard something that wasn’t thunder. It was something else.

 

It sounded like something was soaring down to earth at an extreme high speed, followed by a crashing sound which was almost drowned out by a loud thunder. But aside from the thunder, if you listened a bit closer, you could hear the horrible sound of metal getting ripped apart, bent, and destroyed—of several minor explosions ripping the rest of whatever it was apart.

 

Curiosity piqued, she got up and looked out her window. She was living in an attic flat on top of one of the bigger buildings, with a huge balcony all around the flat and tons of windows. Not really something good when it came to storms, but since cyclones and hurricanes weren’t that common, they could build such buildings as hers.

 

And she would be lying if she said that she hated it. It was awesome to be able to oversee the city in the light of the rising or setting sun.

 

The rest of the block was mostly empty or there were people who weren’t really interested in her and vice versa. Best part was, the flat right underneath her was empty. So she could do whatever the fuck she wanted and be as loud as she wanted and nobody would complain. Bringing home whoever she wanted would work too, although she never did that. Although that was for totally different reasons than one might expect.

 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

 

Looking out of the window, searching for the source of the sound, she could see that something had crashed on the plains just outside the city. She couldn’t make out what it was, but she could see that it was huge. And the slight red shimmer on the clouds above from the fire illuminated the scenery in an eerie reddish light.

 

There could be people in danger, hurt, dead, or needing help.

 

Running to her office, she suited up within ten minutes and was out of the flat moments later towards the red lights of the fire of the crash site, only a few weapons of her arsenal with her—only to defend herself in case someone would attack her.

 

She arrived there only moments after the militaries were there. It was dark, but she could see that it was a huge ship up on a snowy hill further up in the plains. Since it was winter, it was rather cold outside, but it was about to become spring, so the snow in the city already melted away.

 

Since New Asia was a whole planet, it was possible that it would snow in New Bangkok, unlike the city’s idol, the one on the Earth in the tropical zone.

 

In any case, it being winter and stuff didn’t prevent Ala from being wet to the bones the moment she was out in the rain. Oh well…

 

Looking around, she saw a strange figure walking away. Looking closer, thank God she had good eyes, she could see that there were two of them. One was walking and the other, the bigger one, was hanging over the smaller figure’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Obviously they were unconscious, as the other figure was dragging them along.

 

Since she wouldn’t be able to get to the crash site as the military was already there without giving away her position, she decided to walk over to the figure obviously trying to get away from there.

 

Within minutes she was around the plains and able to meet up with them without the military noticing it.

 

When she stepped outside of her hiding to meet the soldier, she was met with the barrel of a machine gun pointed directly between her eyes.

 

“Give me a reason not to put a bullet through your head!” the smaller soldier snarled, obviously a woman.

 

Lifting her hands in appeasement, Ala kept her voice low and tone appeasing, “I can give you and your fellow teammate some shelter.”

 

“And what reason do I have to trust you?”

 

That was a good question, actually.

 

“None,” Ala answered honestly, which gave the other soldier pause, “But I am offering you shelter for you and your obviously injured comrade.”

 

“And you would do that because…?”

 

Wow, it looks as though she was a pretty suspicious one. But Ala couldn’t hold that against her since she knew how paranoid you could get during your military service. And they had also just survived the crash of a massive ship.

 

“Let’s just say that my opinion has changed since I entered the military. And not for the better.” She replied, not making a move and waiting for the other soldier to calm down and put a minimum of trust in her.

 

“Uh-huh, and you surely aren’t going to rat us out because you wouldn’t want the money you would get from selling out to the army because you’re such an oh-so Good Samaritan?” she replied, the suspicion still evident in her voice.

 

“I don’t even know who you are. And as I said, I am not really on good terms with the military, so I wouldn’t do a damn thing to help them anyhow.” Ala replied and this time the soldier let the weapon sink after some moments.

 

Ala continued, “In any case. I suppose we better get moving, or the military stalking around the crash site are going to find us. I am sure they found out that you went MIA by now.”

 

This time, the soldier nodded after another short moment of contemplation and stuffed away the SMG.

 

“You mind if I help you with your fellow soldier?” Ala asked, taking up a more comfortable posture but not moving any other way. Although she felt like replying with snark herself or let loose some sarcastic comments, she decided against it. She didn’t know how the soldier would react. And to be honest, Ala could really do without having a third eye socket in her forehead.

 

“That sorry excuse of a soldier is my twin brother.” the woman snarled, hoisting the body higher up and starting to move.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. Mind if I help you carry your brother?” Ala rephrased, but it was only answered with a snort.

 

“Just do what you fucking want. I don’t give a flying fuck.”

 

Ala blinked, a bit taken aback, but chalked the woman’s demeanor up to being tired, beaten up, being in a foreign place, the worry about her brother, and the possible pain she was in.

 

Walking over to the woman, carefully watching her posture, she helped the woman carry her unconscious brother. The white and blue armored soldier noticed that the man’s right arm was probably broken since she felt it moving under her grip when she rested it over her shoulder to help carry the weight.

 

While walking back, Ala then spoke up again. “I am Ala by the way. My full name is Alaska,” she added quickly when she noticed the woman stiffening up and the aura turning hostile. She might be mistaken, but she had the intention that the woman was reaching for the holstered SMG again.

 

She hurried to explain in order to avoid being shot for real, “It’s my birth name. No kidding. This isn’t a code name. My code name was Elbon No. 6.” The figure relaxed a bit, the hostile aura subduing a bit but not disappearing.

 

The female soldier was obviously still eyeing her cautiously, keeping an eye on her if she was up to do something funny.

 

“My name’s South Dakota. Just call me South.” She replied.

 

Ala felt a bit angry that the woman didn’t tell her real name, but she first needed her trust before she would tell Ala her real name.

 

Deep in thought while guiding them through the city, she almost missed the next thing South said, “This guy here is North.”

 

“So your agent names are like the Dakota states?”

 

There was a curt nod from South at that.

 

“Okay, South. My apartment is right over there, let’s get you guys out of the rain.” She nodded over to the five story house she lived in and South nodded again.

 

When they were up in the apartment, Ala and South laid the still unconscious North on the kitchen table. It was the best place to examine and treat the guy’s wounds. His armor already looked pretty beaten up and bruised, and she didn’t want to know how the body underneath looked.

 

After the big guy was lying securely on the table, the owner of the apartment shortly explained to South the layout of the place and gave her some of her clothes, since they were approximately the same height and weight. Whilst South went to shower, not without flipping Ala off when she told her not to use all the hot water, the black-haired woman also slipped out of her suit, dried herself up, and put on some more comfortable clothes.

 

Since she knew how suspicious towards her and protective towards her brother South seemed, she decided to wait in regards to North’s treatment until the other woman was out of the shower. The only thing she did was to take off the soldier’s helmet and check his vital signs regularly. Checking for the pulse on his throat, holding a hand to his nose to check for breathing, lying an ear on his chest to listen to see if his lungs were full with some kind of liquid, like blood.

 

Luckily, no worrisome sounds were to be heard.

 

Since he was stable so far, Ala didn’t do much more than that, aside from gathering all the medical supplies she would need to patch the guy up with. Bandages, disinfectant, strips, some medicaments for after the treatment. She would have to dissolve those in water and somehow instill them to North.

 

When the woman came into the kitchen, freshly showered and looking more tired than before as the adrenaline from before seemed to wear off, they started taking off North’s gear. When he was lying there in his undersuit, Ala started examining the man starting with his head. He had a laceration over his left eye, which Ala disinfected and closed with some sticky strips. Sewing and stripping was the same, so she preferred the strips as this meant no more injuries to his body like when getting sewn.

 

Unfortunately, she had no cure for the massive bump on his left temple, right underneath the laceration. This injury would have to heal with time. She suspected him having at least a middle to heavy concussion. She told that to South, also saying that they both would have to check on him regularly.

 

However, Ala would take over the first days so South could rest since she was so beaten up—though only if she was okay with that arrangement.

 

“Whatever…” she grumbled, crossing her arms and staring at her brother like she wanted to make him wake up just like that.

 

Ala sighed.

 

Seriously, this girl was quite a special case to get along with. And she had the feeling that South didn’t like or trust her. That she hated her guts for some reason.

 

Anyways…time to focus back on the task at hand, Alaska.

 

Going down over the body, she could see that his body was covered in bruises. Actually, there were more black spots and bruises visible than his pale skin. No wonder, considering the crash they went through. He must have gotten thrown around like a doll in the ship. Considering the wounds, she didn’t suspect he would have been able to get somewhere safe on his own.

 

Now coming to his arm, she shortly twisted said broken bone so the bones would snap back into the right position. Luckily it was a simple fracture, no splintering or something else. After putting it in splints, she relocated the shoulder back into the socket again with an audible crack

 

If South winced, she didn’t show it outwardly.

 

Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to fix his arm on his chest since she noticed that some of his ribs were broken too. Some even multiple times. So extra pressure on the chest would be out of the question.

She wasn’t able to avoid seeing the fresh scars of bullet holes on his torso, but decided to not ask about it yet.

 

After finishing the check of the upper part of his body, she wandered downwards to his abdomen. She shortly examined it, noticing with relief that the abdomen was smooth and soft. No internal bleeding—what a relief!

 

Then she wandered down over his legs. The hip and the bones there looked okay, only pretty bruised, but okay.

 

Then his legs.

 

She soon noticed that the right lower leg was broken too.

 

The left one was okay. Luckily.

 

Something must have fallen on him during the crash, she thought.

 

“More like someone.” Ala blinked in surprise at South’s statement, as she hadn’t been aware of saying that one statement out loud.

 

But considering the face South had made just then, she did.

 

South obviously hadn’t thought that Ala would notice it, since her face, which looked rather soft, turned hard immediately when she noticed the black-haired woman’s glance.

 

But given the fact that she got out of this hell almost uninjured made it pretty clear that North had shielded his sister against the falling and the debris rolling around with his own body, despite the fact that he could have died doing so.

 

Aside from the injuries she found, there was only the beforehand mentioned bruises. Nothing bad, luckily.

 

He just seemed deeply unconscious since he had obviously hurt his head rather badly and his body was staying in standby-mode to heal all of the minor and major wounds it had received.

 

If they had been really unlucky, the sudden changes of air pressure could have also caused a lack of oxygen that would now cause some troubles too. But given the fact that South was standing beside her and looked pretty okay, she doubted that was the problem. She more had the feeling that it was the bump on his temple that causing the unconsciousness.

 

Patching up the bigger and deeper injuries with patches and bandages, she then gave him one last examining glance before giving her okay.

 

Anyways, after she was done, she cleaned her hands in the sink and turned around to South.

 

“Two streets down is a 24/7-market, also offering clothes. You mind going out and getting some clothes for your brother and yourself?” she asked, her gaze not being met by the female soldier’s eyes.

 

She only snorted at that, “And how do you suppose I am going to do that? We don’t have any money.”

 

“I’ll give you some.” Ala answered deliberately, not being able to hide rolling her eyes, giving the woman another pause.

 

She walked over to the drawer and pulled out a box with money in it. Taking out some money, she gave it to the soldier.

 

“I guess that’s more than enough. Just buy what you think is best for him and you. I guess some shirts, jogging trousers, and jeans are best?” she tried to be conversional with the woman to break the ice and make her feel comfortable here, but this tactic was answered by a snort.

 

“No I planned on buying him a fucking bikini!” she shot back and left the room, and shortly after the building itself after putting on a pair of Ala’s bigger shoes and slamming the door shut.

 

Wow, the remaining woman thought to herself, what a sunny character…

 

Sighing, she turned back around to the half-naked man and this time, she took her time to check out his facial features. He looked handsome, and, taking the whole body into consideration, pretty well-built and well-shaped. She didn’t doubt that he was pretty fit as well. Well, with being a soldier you needed a rudimentary fitness to survive basics and the military career afterwards

 

Looking back at his face, she noticed the pale blond hair. It was such a pale platinum blond that it almost looked white. Right underneath the right eye, she could see a small scar. Obviously a cut from earlier days, which had healed up completely.

 

About thirty minutes later South returned with a bag of clothes, not bothering to give her back the rest of the money.

 

Ala didn’t care. Not that she did have a lot of money, but she didn’t want to start a fight over the money when both of them looked so badly off.

 

While shortly taking a shower, she let South clean and dress her brother. She thought it was better like that to avoid a fight should she try to do so.

 

After South and Ala were done with their tasks, they moved North to Ala’s bedroom and into her bed so he could sleep.

 

There was a guest bed in the office, where South could sleep during her stay. Before the young soldier could move in, the owner of the apartment moved some of the stuff to the living room such as her armor and her laptop, as well as a safe with her weapons in it.

 

She put it down in the kitchen. Luckily it had wheels, which you could unlock when knowing the right code—a different one from the lock, mind you!

 

After South retreated into her room, it soon became silent and dark again. About an hour ago, the power did return as the thunderstorm subdued completely, leaving only a light night rain coming down on the world of New Asia.

 

From this moment on, the owner of the apartment would check regularly on the injured man who was still unconscious. She couldn’t say if or when he would wake up, but she wanted to make sure that she was doing her best to help him recover.

 

She checked his temperature, changed the bandages of the smaller injuries, and checked on his overall physical state.

 

The concussion he probably had only made the situation worse.

 

All the while, she would talk with him, telling him who she was, explaining where he was, and how he had ended up here. That his sister was doing okay and that they would wait for him to wake up.

 

***

 

Some days later, Ala woke up from a deep sleep.

 

North still hadn’t woken up but was showing minor signs of coming back around slowly.

 

When she realized that she had fallen asleep and nobody had checked on North during that time, she shot up from the couch. Immediately her vision began to blur and black spots appeared before her eyes. She needed some seconds for her body to acclimate.

 

When feeling better, she then got up and checked on the young man lying there and sleeping still.

 

Something, however, felt off.

 

She then went over to the closed office door and knocked. When she didn’t receive an answer after knocking the third time she opened the door, only to find the room empty.

 

_Hmm… Strange… Where could South be?_

 

Okay, they never had been on good terms. She had been hostile and angry towards Ala, cynical and sarcastic and for some reason really hated her guts—beyond just the signs of the overall mistrust she showed towards the black-haired woman.

 

Anyway, aside from that, South never just disappeared. No matter how much she hated her, she was around to check on her brother.

 

Walking into the kitchen to get some water, she saw that one of the cabinets was open.

 

With slight dread pooling in her stomach she opened the door, only to find her suspicions confirmed. The box was open and the money was gone.

 

_Fucking bitch!_

Ala had always tried to be understanding towards South, but that bitch was plain mean! Those were the savings she had put aside for when she was thinking of maybe moving to a better place or returning to Earth after some time passed!

 

With an angry growl, she hurled the empty tin box back into the cabinet with a loud clattering sound and sank into a chair.

 

Rubbing her hands over her face, she breathed in and out deeply. Okay, she still had some money left in another place to pay the daily things she had to buy, but the money in the box had been something like her rainy day fund.

 

Anyway, there was no advantage in sitting there and moaning over the loss of money.

 

Getting up with a deep sigh, she decided to check on the still sleeping North. She hoped that he maybe was a bit friendlier than his sister.

 

So far, this whole rescuing thing was more or less only a loss for her. In both a personal and financial way.

 

Maybe the guy would be able to make up a bit for that by being at least friendly and appreciating her help.

 

A _‘Thank you’_ would be more than enough, for God’s sake!

 

Opening the door, she could see from the window that the last rays of the sun were just disappearing. It was about to become night.

Checking the man over and changing the bandages where it was needed, she then again sat down beside the bed on a chair and kept him company like she had been doing these last few days.

 

She felt bad for leaving the guy alone when he was unconscious. She was convinced that it helped being around people while they were recovering, no matter if they were conscious or not. She guessed the guy might need it even more given his state and the fact that he was far away from everything he had probably ever known.

 

Now especially with even his sister gone—who would have been the only person he knew here.

 

Besides South having disappeared, she felt a strange restlessness coming from the man. It was strange actually. She couldn’t put a finger on it, but it felt like the man himself was deeply unconscious, but something connected with his mind was restless. Almost like a second mind.

 

She knew that, aside from a few exceptions, it was impossible that this explanation made any sense.

 

But her instinct told her otherwise.

 

Since she didn’t feel anything hostile coming from the entity, she decided to leave it at that. Maybe North knew something more about this _‘second mind sharing the same body with him’_ that he could share with her upon waking up.

 

She couldn’t put a finger on what it was, it was just her instinct telling her that. Her instinct was always pretty good, but she was rather shitty in putting her feelings into words.

 

After having talked with the young man for the last days, she didn’t know anymore what to tell him aside from the bad news about his sister having left. She didn’t want to tell him that when he needed positive things to focus on in order to heal faster.

 

So what to do?

 

She then suddenly remembered that she often was told a fairytale when she or her younger sister had a nightmare or were afraid of the dark.

 

Breathing in deeply, she then began, “I know it sounds kinda strange, but I feel like you might want to hear something nice from time to time. Let me tell you a fairytale from my childhood that my mom often used to tell me…” with that, she started telling the unconscious man the story.

 

Indeed, she soon after felt like the man, or perhaps more accurately the entity sharing the body with him, was starting to calm down.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I had my birthday on the 20th of this month and I am celebrating with you by sharing an extra chapter after it being Betaed by my awesome beta YIN!  
> You're awesome! <3

Days past, and Ala had kept up with the regular check-ups and telling the man fairy tales or singing a little song during the night.

 

The owner of the apartment returned from a short grocery run.  She hadn’t suspected that North would wake up just then, but she left him a written note that he was in safety there, that South was doing good and that she would be back shortly just in case.

 

Upon returning, she put the things away in the kitchen that she had bought and went directly to check on the soldier.

 

His facial color looked much better than it had a few days ago. He wasn’t as deathly pale anymore as he had been back when her and South had brought him over to her apartment.

 

Feeling satisfied with what she saw, she returned to the kitchen and started putting things away.

 

Speaking of South, she was doing extremely well now too.  Her bruises were healing up well and the minor scratches she’d received had all closed up. All in all, she was doing great.

 

Ala thought that was great news, but the other woman hadn’t gotten much more agreeable since she had started healing.

 

It was around four in the afternoon and the remaining people living in the block were out working. Due to that, it was almost deadly silent in the apartment save for the steps drawing closer to the apartment door.

 

Alarmed, Ala grabbed the pistol which she had stuffed away in one of the cabinets and pointed towards the entrance with it.

 

The person now entering the apartment was the last person she would have expected to do so.

 

Anger flared up in her veins.

 

“South, what the fucking hell!?” she stuffed the pistol in her waistband and took two steps towards her, her posture showing clearly that she was pissed.

 

“First you steal all my money from me and disappear, and now you show up like nothing happened!?”

 

South shot her a devastating glare while reaching into her pocked and throwing the black haired woman a bundle of money. Even more than South had initially stolen from her.

 

“Calm down, bitch. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” She growled while walking to the office.

 

Ala followed suit while South continued, “I just needed some money to buy shit in order to take up some missions.”

 

“And how about telling me?! I would have given you the money and even would have given you some of my contacts to help you!  What do you think I do to live here?” she shot back, clearly done with South.

 

The woman turned around, glaring at her. “Oh, I thought you were knitting shit like an old lady or doing some kind of life-advice-service-shit!”

 

Alaska growled, clearly pissed. “Yeah, because I look like an old granny.” She couldn’t hold back her sarcasm, but then sighed deeply, “I only want to help you and your brother. I am not going to rat you out to the UNSC.”

 

Dragging her hands over her face, she heard a snort from South.

 

“Oh yeah, and for the great Samaritan you are you would have done everything for a stranger you picked up somewhere in the middle of the night in the pouring rain. Don’t shit with me. People aren’t that selfless.” She growled, slamming the door shut mere centimeters before Ala’s nose and locking it for good measure.

 

The owner of the apartment growled bac, “Stop being so fucking suspicious! Not everyone is after you, there are people out there who honestly want to help without asking for anything in return!”

 

She hadn’t known the woman for long, but she was sure that South was giving her the finger through the closed door.

 

Ala sighed, “Seriously, South. Next time just say something. I can even set up some missions for you if you want to get out.” She waited some seconds before she added, “I only hope that you will be able to trust me.”

 

This last statement was answered by a boot being thrown at the door with a loud bang.

 

While massaging her temples with her hands, she returned to the kitchen to finish putting the groceries away.

 

With South having retreated to her room and obviously lying on the makeshift bed there, it was silent again which made it possible for the young woman to hear the low groan coming from her sleeping room.

 

Almost dropping the tin can with carrots in it that she had been in the process of putting away, she hurried to stuff it in the cabinet and leave the kitchen to check on North.

 

Since he had come here he hadn’t made a sound, so this groan maybe meant that he was about to wake up.

 

Hope welled up in her chest. Hope that he had been able to pull through that rough crash and all of the injuries, that he would be okay again.

 

It might sound strange, but she had formed some kind of interpersonal bond with the soldier lying there on the bed by telling him about her daily tasks and telling him fairy tales that she knew.

 

Sure, she was well aware that she didn’t know anything about him. Not even his real name, only his agent name.

 

But aside from that, she somewhat felt connected with him and stemming from that feeling she wanted the man to be okay and survive. She had found him out in the rain and brought him to her apartment, looked after him and cared for him during these days after all.

 

Entering the room, she could see how his body started to move, although it was still a bit uncoordinated and not a lot of movement—maybe a finger or a foot, but he was definitely moving his body. The low groans and the fluttering eyelids made it clear that he indeed was about to wake up.

 

She shortly checked his pulse and breathing, both having increased now that he had woken up. The breathing was slightly out of rhythm, which was a sign of him having woken up too.

 

Immediately, she turned on her heel and returned to her office.

 

“Get lost, asshole!” was the growled out answer when she knocked at the door.

“North is about to wake up, I thought you might want to know that.” She replied coolly, leaving the door and returning to the bedroom.

 

South could make out of that information whatever she wanted the fuck to do. The black haired woman still was pissed and didn’t really care about what South would do next.

 

North’s limbs were still moving uncoordinatedly and his eyelids didn’t seem to follow his mental order of opening up, but he seemed to become more coherent and coordinated by every passing second.

 

Just when Ala wanted to take her place on the chair standing beside the bed, South literally waltzed in wearing black jogging trousers and a black shirt.  She flopped down on the chair and, crossing her arms, she shortly shot Ala a pointed glare before turning her head to stare at her brother. Probably to give him an earful when he woke up completely.

 

Alaska sighed, turning around to get some water from the kitchen and brought it back to the room to put it on the night stand. North still wasn’t completely in the here and now and, picking up on the angry glare his sister threw him, she decided against staying here and left the room to sit on the couch.

 

She could understand South’s reaction for once pretty well.

 

Alaska McCormick was unknown to North. He hadn’t met her before and didn’t know her. It is frightening enough to wake up in a foreign place and feel nothing but pain and disorientation.

 

An unknown face thrown into the mix definitely doesn’t help you feel relaxed. It was better for him to see a known face, like the one of his sister, and get a hold of the situation before she made an appearance.

 

Sitting on the couch in the living room, she decided to shortly shoot a text to her old CO from pre-Elbon times. Sargent Hollaway.

 

He had been the best leader she ever had and he was the only one who knew that she was still alive. He helped her in setting up camp here and organized someone to tend to her wounds when she wasn’t able to look after herself.  He had also helped her in setting her life up here and in getting work after she had recovered.

 

Checking the clock, she supposed that he soon would have finished his daily routine and would write her back.

 

The text read nothing special for people not knowing the codes. It sounded like a normal conversation between friends, both carefully making sure that they wouldn’t give away her location or her identity. The messages went over several proxy servers all scattered across the galaxy to diffuse her location.

 

Sure, this often caused the message to take longer to arrive at the receiver, but it was better that way.

 

The text was written about a friend having woken up from a sleepover and that he now was having breakfast with his sister. That they both were doing well and would probably stay a little bit longer until returning since they had such a long journey to arrive at her place and the transport back was delayed due to needing repairs.

 

Hollaway knew about her picking up some soldiers from a crashed ship.  He had wished her luck and hoped that they would have a great sleepover, which meant nothing more than that he hoped that the injured one would get well soon.

 

It must be a relief for Hollaway too that the guy had finally woken up.

 

Shutting down and closing the laptop, she saw South appearing in the doorway with a sour expression on her face.

 

“My dear brother of mine wants to see the noble Samaritan who rescued us.”

 

Her foul mood was palpable even from Ala’s space on the couch. She didn’t comment on it, just wordlessly got up and walked over to the bedroom.

 

South, for her part, returned to the office and again locked it for good measure.

 

When arriving at the door, she knocked against the door frame before entering.

 

“You wanted to see me?” she asked, waiting for North to focus on her and give his okay to enter.

 

When he did so, she slowly approached and sat down on the chair South had been on previously.

 

“South told me that you helped us?” his voice must sound gentle usually, now it just sounded raspy and coarse due to not having been used for days.

 

Alaska only nodded before answering. “Yes, that’s true.”

 

A smile appeared on his lips.

 

“Thank you.” He coughed shortly, his face contorting in pain from his broken ribs, “I know that South is grateful too. She just can’t show it that well. Please, don’t hold it against her.”

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Ala muttered, deciding against ratting the woman out about what she had done while he was out cold.

 

South certainly had her reasons for that and North had enough on his plate as it was, she didn’t want to worry him anymore than necessary.

 

It was silent for a while, in which she was asking herself how twins could be so completely different.

 

South was hostile and angry, and North seemed gentle and docile. From what she could see, they both were the complete opposites of each other.

 

However, she only knew them for a short time. North even less than South.

 

“She had a rough youth…” North rasped, as if he had read her thoughts.

 

“Sorry…” Alaska muttered with a caught expression on her face.

 

“Don’t worry. She’s a good person at heart, she just has her own ways of coping with the shit going on around her and what happened in the past.” He started coughing violently and the black haired woman took it as a cue to get him some water.

 

Getting up, she sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully lifted his head with her hand before taking the glass and putting it to his lips.

 

He wasn’t drinking greedily as she suspected he might, more pacing himself to not overburden his stomach and puke.  It looked as though he already had experience with waking up after a long period of unconsciousness—sadly.

 

When he had enough, she carefully laid him back down, regarding him quickly.

 

“You want some painkillers or are you okay?”

 

“Not now, maybe later,” the blond man replied at length after obviously assessing the level of the pain he was in, “I am too beaten and will fall back asleep soon anywasy.”

 

Well, that made sense, Ala supposed.

 

Sitting back on the chair, she regarded the man lying on her bed.

 

“I’m afraid I haven’t gotten your name yet.”

 

Ala jolted on the chair. Oh fucking shit!

 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t introduce myself. My name is Alaska McCormick,” immediately she added more information, remembering the hostile reaction of his sister to her name, “Alaska is my birth name, not an agent name.”

 

When she was done with her introduction, she grabbed her braid and began playing with the end of it, feeling ashamed at not having had enough manners to introduce herself properly as you might expect from a stranger.

 

This drew a small chuckle out of the man, “It’s okay. I guess South wasn’t so cool with the name?”

 

Although he was lying on the bed and looked like he would be dozing off any minute now, she noticed him observing her out of the corner of his eyes.

 

The black haired woman almost asked how the hell he knew that since he had been out cold, but North and South were twins. It was only logical that he would know his sister inside out.

 

“Yeah, she seemed… Quite concerned when she received that information.”

 

“That’s from our work we were just thrown out of. Literally.” Although he grinned a bit crookedly, he started coughing violently again—pain flashing across his finely chiseled features, “Our agent names were according to American states. So she might have thought that you were one of those other agents sent to pursue us.”

 

“I figured that much out.” Ala replied with a sigh. “Anyways,” she got up slowly and again helped North to drink a bit of water, “You should rest now. You’re safe here and you guys can stay as long as you want to.”

 

“Thanks.” The man replied, his eyelids already starting to drop, “What about my… injuries?” His voice was slurry and heavy with sleep.

 

“Nothing lethal or worrisome, just get some sleep and we can talk about them when you’re feeling a bit better, okay?” Alaska prompted the man to finally give in to what his body was desiring so badly.

 

“Okay…” North muttered in reply and was fast asleep again moments later.

 

Turning away with a sigh, she left the bedroom and took up her space on the couch again, shortly shooting off another text to her mission-dealer in the city and asking for a mission for a friend of hers with about the same ability level of Alaska, if not higher.

 

It didn’t take ten minutes for the guy, Kyle, to answer with a list of missions ready for her to apply to.

 

Printing out the list, she again knocked on the office door. There was no answer from the woman in there, but she was sure that she was still there.

“I printed out a list with missions on the printer in your room. Check it out and make a cross beside the mission you want to take. They pay pretty well and as soon as you prove yourself worthy, he will give you his contact information to get your own missions.”

 

There was no answer, but shuffling inside the office indicated that South had gotten up and was reading the paper.

 

Moments later, the list was shoved underneath the door.

 

Ala took up the paper and gasped when she saw that _every fucking mission_ had a cross!

 

“You _really_ want to take on _all_ of the missions?”

 

“Would I have marked them with a cross if not, genius!?” South snapped back through the door.

 

Ala sighed. “Right…”

 

Maybe it was her way of coping with what had happened. At least that was what her brother had told Alaska.

 

She decided to let that answer slip and just comply with her wish. For the sake of continued peace in here, she swallowed the sarcastic comment lying on her tongue and sighed again.

 

“Okay, give me minutes ten to check back when the missions start and in which order my contact wants to have them done.”

 

Going back to the laptop, she replied to Kyle.  She needed five full minutes to break it into his head that, _yes_ , her friend who she introduced as South, was taking on _all_ the fucking missions.

 

Another two minutes later and a priority list of the missions, including the dates and times for them, returned from him.

 

The first mission would start in two hours and looked like a personal security mission. That was pretty short notice, but she was sure that South wouldn’t care. She obviously just wanted to get out of the apartment.

 

Hitting the print button, she returned to the office. This time, she didn’t knock.

 

“Printed out the list. Get ready, mission start is in two hours at 2200 at the bar ‘Shiva’ three blocks to the west. No armor, just a combat outfit. You copy?”

 

There was an annoyed “Copy!” with an “ _asshole_ ” tagged in afterwards that was muttered more lowly but was still audible by Ala nonetheless. This was replaced by shuffling moments later.

 

Alaska didn’t bother to stay there any longer and decided to take her laptop and disappear to the kitchen to do some work like writing back to Sargent Hollaway who had just answered her.

 

Indeed, thirty minutes later, South left the room with black combat boots, black cargo boots and a dark violet tank top to.

 

She had her hair loose on top of her head: it was too short to tie back anyways.

 

Taking up the leather vest that she must have bought sometime ago in the last couple of hours of being away from the apartment, she left the room with a shouted “Take care of my sorry excuse of a brother!” and then the door was slammed shut.

 

Alaska winced while stirring her coffee and checked her messages again.

 

Hollaway obviously thought that it had been enough communication for today and hadn’t answered her last message. Checking the clock, she assumed that it probably was lights out in his base anyways.

 

She only hoped that North wouldn’t wake up from his sister’s immature behavior.

 

Considering the lack of moving and grumbling she heard, he hadn’t.

 

Well, his sister wouldn’t be back for another two or three days.

 

Ala was pretty sure that he was used to South’s behavior by now. She suspected North and South of being around thirty, so that meant they were almost her age and so had enough time to get used to one another and all of their various quirks and issues by now.

 

The only task left open to her was to break the information about where the woman had gone to South’s twin when he woke up.

 

He seemed like the protective kind of guy when it came to his sister, given the injuries he had taken up in order to protect her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> North is getting better and South is being South.  
> Ala tries her best to get along with both of them.
> 
> The weekly chapter is here! We're about in the middle of the flashback! :D

The next few days went by rather smoothly with North drifting in and out of sleep every now and then, and even being able to eat something more than just a watery bouillon.

 

Sure, he still was weak and not completely recovered, but him eating something with a little bit more consistency than colored and flavored water was a huge plus in Ala’s book.

 

Of course, when Ala broke it to him that South had left for several missions again and would be gone for about a week this time, he didn’t look really happy. He seemed worried and a bit pissed, but understood South’s reasons for leaving—even more so when Ala told him about her walking around like a caged tiger and getting progressively worse when it came to her mood.

 

She needed space and the chance to blow off some steam.

 

And that was what convinced North to not hound South too much about when she would be coming back. She was just a free spirit and more of a tomboy, and she needed her space to think over shit and come to terms with everything.

 

Which led to South returning to the apartment when she was done with her missions after six days, informing them that the mission dealer would charge her more in order to pay Ala for the missions she was missing to tend to her brother.

 

Sure, she looked quite surprised when she came home and, after showering and changing clothes, went to North and found him sitting upright in bed.

 

Although there were tons of pillows to make him stay upright, she was still surprised. Or at least, that was what Ala was told by North later on as when she had heard South leaving the shower, she excused herself and went to the kitchen.

 

She preferred taking herself out of the mix in order to avoid any possible confrontation, even more in her bedroom with a still injured North who needed all of his energy to recover and not just to mediate a fight between his sister and their host.

 

So when South decided that she wanted to spend some quality time with her brother, Ala took the cue and left the bedroom to get North something to drink.

 

By now it was a Spritzer: a bit of orange juice mixed with water to give him as much energy through light food as was possible without overburdening his stomach.

 

When that was ready, maybe with a prepared soup too if he still hadn’t eaten or felt hungry, she waited in the kitchen for South to leave the bedroom.

 

When she heard the woman leave North’s bedroom for another mission or to go to her room, Ala then would appear with a gentle smile and a knocking on the door frame to the bedroom.

 

When North would look up, she would always ask if it was okay for her to enter and that she had brought something to drink and (sometimes) eat.

 

He would always nod and invite her to come in and sit with him when he was eating or awake in general.

 

It had become some kind of routine. Whenever it was possible and he was awake, she would sit with him and talk with him when South wasn’t around to take over that task.

 

Alaska respected the tight bond the twins shared and didn’t try to interfere with that bond by always bursting in. She would wait patiently until South would leave before making her appearance.

 

Of course, North would notice and ask her about this. She would always explain that she didn’t want to interrupt them as they were siblings and surely had a lot to tell each other.

 

North didn’t buy it and Ala was pretty sure he knew the real reason, but he was polite enough to let it slide to keep them from fighting.

 

South for her part was a difficult case. She either was always hiding in her room or out on a mission. Alaska hardly got to see her, mostly only whenever she was coming to the kitchen and asking for something to eat. If there was nothing around, she went to some takeout restaurant around the apartment.

 

The black haired woman didn’t like it that she left the apartment so often, even more after she told South that she was living more or less incognito here, but South didn’t really care about that. However, considering the fact that she was a Special Ops agent calmed Ala a bit. She surely knew how to make herself invisible and not give away shit.

 

During the last couple of days, the female Freelancer started to trust her a bit more. Or at least would be a bit more open and accepting of her a bit easier since she seemed to notice that Ala really meant well after seeing that she was looking after North to the best of her ability.

 

In any case, it became a habit between them that Ala, whenever South came back from a mission, would find money on the kitchen table. It was enough to make a good living here, together with South and North.

 

Okay, South was mostly fetching for herself and North didn’t eat as much as a normal man would, but the medication and the bandages cost a little fortune for Ala and that was a problem most of the time.

 

With a sigh, she threw another set of bandages away and hoped that she wouldn’t have to use the bandages anymore soon because buying all of those bandages was likely to get someone to become suspicious.

 

Snatching another bottle of Spritzer, she returned to North, not noticing this time that South was sitting and talking with him.

 

Upon knocking, she noticed South looking around.  Her eyes narrowed at the intrusion, but not at Ala in general.

 

“Oh, sorry, I will come back later then.” Ala muttered and turned around to wait in the kitchen or the living room, but North called her back.

 

“It’s okay. Just come in, you’re the owner of this place after all.”

 

He was able to sit up by himself, his broken bones healing pretty well. He was already able to move his fingers and his foot a bit, but they still would have to wait some more time until he was fully recovered.

 

The black haired woman suspected his shoulder would take the most time to heal since many things could have gone wrong when his shoulder jumped out of its socket.

 

Carefully, Ala came closer, now standing at the footing of the bed and making sure she was equally far away from the male twin as much as the female, only to be sure that she did not somehow enrage the female Freelancer with her presence.

 

For once, however, South didn’t seem to react to that.

 

“We were just talking about how lucky we have been to end up here and to have such a nice host like you.  Right, South?” he started, throwing his twin a pointed glare.

“Yeah, sure…” the tomboy of the team muttered, crossing her arms and looking away.

 

“Well, thanks…” Ala replied, scratching her neck before grabbing her braid and starting to fiddle with the end of it. It was a bad habit she had where she would often fiddle with the end of her braid if she was thinking or embarrassed.

 

“You’re the one who should be more grateful. At least she helped drag your sorry ass over to this place and took over all the patching up shit.” South grumbled, sinking a bit deeper in the chair she was sitting on.

 

North smiled warmly at Alaska, “I need to thank you then.”

 

Sending a bit of a derailed and awkward smile back, she shook her head, “It’s okay.  I was just glad to have someone looking after me when I was in a similar situation.”

 

This got the twins’ attention and so she ended up telling the story of her previous Platoon, the Elbon Team on Chare.

 

They had been fighting aliens and all kind of shit to bring away a huge and very important discovery before shit _really_ hit the fan.

 

In the end, only one member of the Elbon Team had officially survived.

 

She had managed to get away from the battlefield, badly hurt, using a refugee’s transport. She had lost her helmet and, with that, the Elbon tracking signal.

 

After being able to get a new helmet, she contacted the leader of the Platoon she was in before joining Elbon. Sargent Hollaway had immediately organized a transport from New Russia to New Asia, where he had some friends who still owed him a thing or two.

 

This was how she had ended up here in New Asia, in New Bangkok to be more specific, being treated after having survived more than a week with biofoam closing up the wound in her abdomen. Luckily, nothing vital had been hurt in the first place, but it was still painful and the doctor patching her up was pretty surprised that she had been able to pull through everything up until then.

 

The wife of the doctor looked after her when she was staying at the man’s house until she was halfway back on track and was able to look after herself.

 

Another friend got her the apartment and some rudimentary furniture such as a mattress, pillow, and blanket, along with some things for the kitchen to cook and to eat with, and some minor stuff for the shower. Pretty basic things, really.

 

Soon after when the wound was healed up halfway and wouldn’t open up the moment she was burdening it, a third friend of Hollaway’s, Kyle, contacted her through a safe channel and informed her that he had one or more missions that she could do for income but that she would have to prove herself worthy to be taken up in his _‘catalogue of co-workers’_ as he liked to put it.

 

The first missions went down rather smoothly and soon she was able to get more and more missions, which made it possible for her to buy more things for her apartment like a kitchen table, couch, TV, stuff for the office, a new and complete bed together with a pillow and blanket, a laptop, and many more things.

 

The old mattress, pillow, and blanket were now being used by South.

 

South made a somewhat disgusted noise through her nose at that last part, but didn’t comment otherwise on it. They all knew that it was better than nothing.

 

Sometime after Ala had finished her story, South got up and left the room with the information that she had another mission coming up.

 

The black haired woman then took the seat that South had occupied before.

 

She sighed, “I guess your story wasn’t much better?”

 

“Not by much, but at least we never had to live incognito. Aside from now, of course.” He replied with a low chuckle.

 

That’s how North slowly started to tell his story, about how he had volunteered for the army to keep an eye on his sister, how they went through basic and both made it to the Freelancers because of their individual skills that the Director could use.

 

About how they had met York, Carolina, Tex, Wyoming, Maine, CT, and Wash. How they had become North and South Dakota.

 

Alaska, however, restrained herself from asking for their real names. That was way too personal a question to ask at the moment. She would give him some time to tell her that on his own whenever he felt more comfortable in doing so.

 

With the next day’s passing, North got progressively better and was now even able to leave the bedroom and join Alaska, and occasionally South too, on the couch to watch a movie or to eat something in the kitchen.

 

He often felt pretty exhausted rather quickly, but he was able to stay awake for a longer time with every day that passed.

 

The only thing that remained was that odd restlessness of some part of his mind during the night, as Ala would put it.

 

It seemed as if a part of his mind was afraid of the dark just as she was.

 

She knew that it sounded pretty damn childish, but she was fucking afraid of the dark and always needed some kind of light source which is why she never shut the blinds when sleeping in her bedroom, or she would leave the laptop running or have something else on that was a light source to make her feel safe.  Even just a small light source remaining on helped her to sleep.

 

Anyways, back to the topic. The restless part of North’s mind.

 

Since she had picked up on it days ago when North had been out cold, she would tell the sleeping North some kind of fairytale or a self-invented story which always had a happy ending.

 

Sometimes she would even sing a little song that was always loud enough to be heard, but never loud enough to wake North up.

 

When she felt like the restless part of North became calm, she would leave the sleeping Freelancer after waiting some more minutes and went to sleep on the couch that she currently was using as her replacement bed.

 

***

 

It was days later again, with North and Ala sitting at the kitchen table and eating something for breakfast. North still had to have something different from what Ala was eating for breakfast: something lighter to get his body back on track, but he was already allowed to eat some bread and a few other normal things.

South wasn’t with them. She was again out on a mission for several days.

 

Ala was just about to bite into another slice of bread with jam when North suddenly looked to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

 

She hadn’t expected the blond to do that and jumped a bit in surprise given the unexpectedness, almost dropping the bread.  She managed to catch it though, luckily not spilling any of the jam.

 

When she looked over to North, he smiled apologetically at her before saying, “I wanted to thank you for sitting with me and helping Theta fall asleep when I was too beaten to look after him.”

 

“Oh, that was nothing,” she replied automatically, before noticing something odd in the phrase. She furrowed her brows, looking over to North, “Who’s Theta?”

 

Sure, she had already heard about AI Technology and about people having this type of artificial intelligence connected to their brains in order to work together but since it was so rare for people to come into contact with that technology and it being even rarer still to meet someone who had it outside of the army, her first fear was that this guy was probably somewhat bonkers and had a split personality.

 

A soft smile appeared on his lips, “Right, I haven’t told you about one of the many special aspects of Project Freelancer, have I?”

 

This at least answered her question about whether it was AI Technology or North was just plain bonkers. She now more or less suspected that this Theta person was some sort of an AI.

 

Indeed, her suspicions were confirmed seconds later.

 

“In the Project, each of us had different armor enhancements.  For example, I have a domed energy shield. There also were healing units, EMP Units, and Speed Units that were used. I heard about others being deployed out in the field too, but I’ve only known these four so far.” He began explaining, taking a gulp of the tea he had for breakfast, “In any case, they noticed that our cranial capacity wasn’t enough to have us focus on the fight and use the enhancement properly as efficiently as possible at the same time, which is why they started giving us AIs…”

 

North now began explaining the details about what happened in the Project involving the AIs.  He also told her about the accident with Agent Utah, the Epsilon incident, and how all of the other AI Fragments were to be removed afterwards.  Carolina, North, and York were able to get away with their Fragments as shit hit the fan in high speed after incident with Epsilon.

 

When North finished, Ala looked at him.

 

Aside from all of the questions floating around in her mind about the Project, there were other questions she wanted to ask—one of which she deemed to be the most important one to have answered at the moment.

 

“Aren’t you… I don’t know, being a bit too trusting to so openly tell me about what happened in the Project? I thought the rules about telling outsiders about that were stricter?” she asked at length, “Not that I mind, but this sounds pretty confidential to me.”

 

The man smiled gently, taking another gulp of tea before answering.

 

“The Project crashed with the ship.” He said simply after putting the mug back down, “And take it as some kind of payback. If it weren’t for you, there would be nobody who knew about us and our life. We would be deleted out of the records of history if they found us.” He explained, sounding pretty rueful.

 

This time, it was Ala’s turn to lay her hand on his sound lower arm, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry.”

 

North shook his head at that, “It’s okay. In any case, we somehow managed to get away with our Fragments. Since Theta is the Fragment symbolizing trust, he is reluctant about many things. Mostly when it comes to opening up to strangers. His behavior is also more of a child, although he can be quite an asshole sometimes. I guess that comes from Alpha.”

 

“The first AI that the others have been split off from? His character sounds like a real sunny one.” Ala commented dryly, taking a swig of her coffee.

 

North snorted at that comment, “You could put it that way. Epsilon and Alpha are the most alike when it comes to their personalities.” He explained, before exhaling deeply and searching Ala’s eyes.

 

“Anyways, I wanted you to meet Theta so he can get to know you and thank for what you did for him. If that’s okay to you?” North then asked, which caused Alaska to gape at him with large, round eyes.

 

It took her a second to process what he had just said and what big trust he was placing in her, even more when she thought back to the things that North had just said about how Theta was pretty childlike and you had to be careful around him given that.

 

She exhaled deeply, getting her bearings back in check before replying with a warm smile, “I would love to. Although I suppose we better move that part to the bedroom so you can sleep afterwards if you feel tired.”

 

She could already see that he was struggling to keep awake to continue sitting there and talk with her.

 

This gave the Freelancer pause, but eventually he nodded his head in agreement.

 

While Ala shortly cleaned up the kitchen, North went to get clean. They met up in her bedroom after that with a full bottle of Spritzer and a new glass.  North had gone to the bedroom a bit before her to talk to Theta before the meeting with Ala.

 

Putting down the glass, she shortly filled it with some of the liquid before taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed, on the chair. She still was pretty surprised with how trusting North was towards her, although they had just met days ago.  He was so trusting that he even wanted her to meet the Fragment he had been asked, or more likely ordered, to take care of.

 

When she was sitting, the Freelancer again smiled warmly which something she already liked about him: that warm and reassuring smile that made him look even more handsome.

 

She subtly shook her head. Her libido was playing tricks on her mind since she hadn’t been with a man for quite some time since joining the army. And since North was appealing to her, her mind went crazy. Seriously, she was no high school girl anymore— _get yourself back in check, old girl!_

 

“You ready?” the man asked and Ala only silently nodded her okay, curiously waiting for what would happen next and afraid as if every loud word might scare Theta so much that he wouldn’t show himself.

 

Sure, she didn’t expect some kind of otherworldly fireworks to go off when the Fragment appeared, but nonetheless, she had never seen an AI materialize while being together with their human partner or ever, really.

 

It started off with a slight flicker on North’s left shoulder and his smile started to widen ever so slightly.

 

The flicker started to intensify until Ala could make out a violet shimmering figure, maybe a bit bigger than her hand, hiding behind North’s head. It only peeked around the Freelancer’s head every now and then to look at the foreign person sitting there and regarding the Fragment with a curious glance and a smile on her lips. It hid immediately when it noticed Ala’s eyes on it.

 

“Hey there, Theta, don’t be so shy. She’s okay.” North turned his head slightly to look at the little Fragment looking insecurely past his head.

 

“Are you sure?” the Fragment asked nervously, looking over to the unknown woman sitting there.

 

“Absolutely. She’s the one who told you stories and sang songs when you were afraid during the night.” North replied patiently.

 

Alaska took her cue to chime in with a rather embarrassing detail of her own.

 

“Hey, Theta, my name’s Ala. You know,” the Fragment looked over to her timidly, “I am afraid of the dark too. I can’t sleep without some kind of light being left on.”

 

She felt an awkward smile appear on her lips when she noticed North’s eyes widen slightly at that confession. He got himself back in check pretty fast, but the reaction wasn’t lost on the black haired woman since they were sitting so close to each other.

 

“Really?” Curiosity piqued and noticing that she wasn’t as big and mean as he had initially thought, Theta came out of his hiding spot a bit more.

 

Alaska nodded, affirming what she had just said, “Yep,” She popped the _p_ at the end of the word for added emphasis, “I feel really scared when it’s pitch black. I sometimes prefer staying awake than sleeping somewhere when it is too dark.”

 

“I feel the same! There could be monsters lurking everywhere and I don’t see them because it’s so dark. North not being able to protect me makes me anxious.”

 

The ice seemed to be broken as the Fragment now fully showed himself and sat down on the man’s shoulder.

 

Ala smiled happily, although her fear of the dark was for other reasons.

 

Firstly, you are trained to be always on alert to notice an enemy before he can attack and kill you, even in darkness. You get kind of paranoid.

 

Secondly, most of the gloriously disastrous missions with the Elbon Team went down in the night or somewhere dark. So that paranoia became increased even more, mingling with the childish fear she had never completely gotten over and then turning into anxiety at some point.

 

“See, we aren’t that different.  Don’t you agree?” she asked, and the Fragment nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Theta, didn’t you want to tell Alaska something?” North chimed in, reminding the little Fragment of why he had initially materialized.

 

“Oh, right!” he looked a bit sheepish now, kicking one foot back and forth, “I wanted to say thank you for being there and helping me fall asleep.” He muttered almost too low for Ala to notice.

 

A broad and happy smile appeared on the black haired woman’s lips, “That’s okay, Theta.  You’re very welcome.” She replied with a happy grin and added, “If you ever need someone to help you fall asleep, just come to me if North is okay with you showing yourself without him being awake.”

 

With the last part of the sentence, she looked over to North questioningly.

 

This drew a little laugh from the man, “He does it anyway most of the time.”

 

“Yeah, in safe places and because it’s boring when you sleep and I don’t.” the AI quipped back immediately.

 

Ala could see what North meant with the similarities to its _‘brothers’_ and their asshole-character shining through on occasions. The loose mouth might stem from that too.

 

“Okay then, let’s declare this place as safe.  All right?” North asked, shortly looking over to Alaska who nodded faintly to give her okay to North’s declaration.

 

“Okay, then I am allowed to show up whenever I want to?” Theta asked, happiness clearly audible and visible in his voice and posture.

 

“Only if it’s us three and South.” North explained, with the AI looking to the ground again.

 

“I don’t like South.  She’s mean.” the little AI muttered, Alaska being able to understand that feeling perfectly well.

 

“She’s a good person, just give her some time to get used to you.” North replied patiently, no venom or anger in his voice—only parental patience and gentleness.

 

“I would prefer not showing up when she’s here.” The Fragment replied.

 

“You know, she’s mostly in her room and I am either staying in the living room or in here. So if you don’t feel like wanting to be alone, then come to the living room and wake me up if you don’t find me sitting beside the bed, okay?” Ala asked, sensing the insecurity of the little Fragment.

 

He was so small and so childlike, she felt some strange sense of motherly protectiveness welling up inside her as though she wanted to protect the little guy. It was about the same as with her sister: she felt the same protectiveness in this situation as she did with her.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, her logical understanding told her that this was an instinctual reaction of humans to want to protect their own kind in order for their race to survive.

 

She made that voice shut up immediately with a well worded answer.

 

“So I am allowed to show myself when we are here and only South, Ala, North and me are around?”

 

Both of the adults nodded.

 

“Yes, exactly.” North told him.

 

“Okay, deal!” Theta clapped his hands in joy, both of the adults smiling at the outburst of the young AI.

 

Soon after clearing the details of him being able to show up, the young Fragment showed Ala fireworks and skating tricks before North decided that it was time for him to go to bed.

 

For once, Alaska couldn’t feel the restlessness of the presence around North which she knew was Theta by now. She assumed that all of these things happening just before going to bed were enough to make the little guy tired and fall asleep soon after North had laid down himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Around two months after Alaska had decided to pick up a pair of stray soldiers, her life became almost domestic again as it had been before everything and making this split-second-decision.

 

North was doing better with each passing day, not needing the splints and bandages anymore. He even was able to take up some light training to get back in shape, although Ala often had to remind him to not overburden himself and take it easy once in a while.

 

Soon, Ala started to do some light hand-to-hand combat and slight jogging with him to help North get back to his former fitness. He had lost a lot of muscle mass during the time he hadn’t really been able to move or do much more than sit due to the broken arm and leg.

 

In any case, she liked staying in shape too, which was why she established a little fitness center in the redundant room of her apartment.

 

There was a bench to train with weights, some machines for the legs, dumb bells for free training, as well as a gymnastic ball for some exercises. There also was a treadmill and a cross trainer she found somewhere out in the dirt, obviously thrown away. She had repaired it and used it from then on. She also, most importantly, had a punching bag. There she could blow off some steam and train her techniques.

 

For their training, Ala decided to move the couch to the wall of the living room and the TV somewhere close by. She put on rolls under the furniture the TV was on, so she could move it around as much as she liked to.

 

Laying it out with tatami mats she managed to buy from a local dealer, they both soon had some kind of dojo where they could train.

 

Indeed, they soon were able to do regular hand-to-hand-combat training, North getting better with every day passing and his reactions again starting to match with the strength he had now started to regain.

Ala liked the exercise as well, being able to have someone to train with without death sitting at the back of her neck because she had to defend herself for dear life.

 

South was coming and going as she pleased, sometimes staying away for about a week or even longer.

 

The first time she had come back and found that the living room had been converted into a dojo had drawn a snarky comment from her about using that as a place for their foreplay and a pointed middle finger when North scolded her. She disappeared into the office afterwards to treat her wounds.

 

South’s appearing and disappearing wasn’t commented either by North or Ala, although Alaska could often hear them arguing when they thought that she was asleep.

 

One such argument was taking place in the bedroom North still was staying in. They were arguing about South’s behavior towards Alaska again and about her always disappearing on them to take up whatever mission she could get.

 

“Seriously, South, there’s no point in you being so hostile towards Ala. She’s a nice person and she helped us. That’s not something that happens often.” North tried again

.

“Yeah, and because she’s such a Good Samaritan she doesn’t want anything in return. Stop being so fucking naïve!” South returned immediately which drew a long suffering sigh from her brother.

 

“And you stop seeing only the bad in people. You’re way too suspicious.” North replied before adding after a short silence, “Why did you take her up on her offer when you don’t trust her?”

 

South snorted, “Isn’t it obvious? I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for your sorry ass needing to recover. That doesn’t mean that I trust her!”

 

Ala bit her lip, feeling a sting in her heart like a knife. That was harsh and mean. And true. South didn’t trust her, and that was only the true wording of her feelings on the subject.

 

What South said next made her gasp. She was happy that North’s rather loud exclamation of “What!? following that covered that little sound of hers.

 

“On top of that, you go and get a fucking crush on our host! You should just stay here and live a domestic life together! Why don’t you marry her right away?!”

 

Alaska thought about what she had just said when her cheeks didn’t burn that hot anymore. Was it jealousy because Ala seemed to be taking North away from South? But that’s not something she would do!

 

Deciding to think about it later, she continued listening.

 

After his exclamation, North took some moments to find the right words to answer his sister.

 

“You know that I am not developing a crush on her and that you are being mean towards her hospitality.” He replied, Ala noticing a chilly note to his voice when he said the last word about South being so mean. He continued, “Besides, I am only taking her up on that offer to recover and have some time off for myself. We had been working nonstop for years now. It’s only normal that people need a break every once in a while. Aside from that, I still owe her for helping me out. I have to pay her back for all the work and help she offered us.”

 

This caused South to snort and bark out a little laugh. “In case you haven’t noticed, oh dear brother of mine,” while saying these five last words, her voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I am working more than enough for us both to make up for that. She’s getting way more money than she would when going on missions herself. So it’s not her place to complain about it.”

 

“It’s not only about the money, South. There’s also an interpersonal point to it I am considering. I doubt that you’ve got that covered at all?”

 

South only growled in response, “In any case, we have to leave sometime soon. The Director is looking for us and I would rather keep on working than sitting on my ass all the time.”

 

Ala felt a bit crestfallen about the prospect of them leaving soon.

 

North pressed on, Alaska hearing suppressed anger in his response, “I am still recovering. Besides, I will repay her for what she did for me. End of discussion.”

 

South snorted a bit angrily at that, and Alaska could picture her crossing her arms.

 

North sighed, “Come on, South. Why don’t you try getting along with her and stay a little bit longer? We’re safe for the moment and some recovering wouldn’t be bad for you too, don’t you think?”

 

North tried to bribe South into staying a little bit longer too, but the woman obviously had made up her mind.

 

“I never liked that Ala-gal over there.” She grumbled “I am not feeling obliged to like her just because she helped us.”

 

This felt like a stab with a knife to Ala’s gut.

 

Concentrating on keeping her sleeping act up, she heard how the chair creaked and South got up from her place there, “I am going to leave this night. Do whatever the fuck you want to do.” She snarked, frustration audible in her voice.

 

North sighed, knowing well that he wasn’t able to stop his sister once she made up her mind, “Very well. Then please send me a message once in a while or drop by so I can make sure that you are okay. Deal?”

 

“Whatever!” South growled.

 

“South, please!” North obviously was done with his patience for his sister.

 

“Okay!” South replied, pretty pissed, “I am calling in regularly, Daddy North!”

 

North growled in frustration, “Stop acting like a fucking bitch, South. You’re worse than a stubborn child!”

 

Alaska didn’t hear an answer, but she could picture South giving her brother the finger before leaving the bedroom towards the black haired woman’s office that the female Freelancer inhabited currently.

 

The rustling and bustling in the room some moments later gave away that she was suiting and packing up, getting ready to leave.

 

About thirty minutes later, the woman left with whatever belongings she had.

 

Well, that meant that Ala would have to take up missions on her own again to fend for herself and North.

 

Alaska sighed lowly through her nose. At least North was feeling better again and didn’t need to be watched all the time, so she guessed that it was no problem.

 

For a moment, she was debating with herself if she should get up and talk to North or keep lying on the couch and pretending to be asleep.

 

However, during the weeks she knew North, she knew that he wouldn’t be fooled by her act. He was extremely perceptive and could read most people like an open book. Besides the obvious good instincts when it came to assessing people and whether or not their intentions were well or ill meant.

 

Well, with a low groan she got up and decided to shoot a text to Kyle, informing him that she would be taking up missions from tomorrow on again.

 

Kyle still seemed to be up and wrote back some minutes later, informing her about upcoming missions. There was one tomorrow evening and night. It was a mission for guarding a door since some kind of game was going on inside the building.

 

Alaska was pretty sure that it was illegal, but she didn’t want to know more. She just informed Kyle that she had a mouth more to feed for the moment and asked if it was possible to get some more missions since South wasn’t living with them anymore.

 

Kyle replied that he already heard about that from South and that he would grant her the same plus fee that he had given South since she had been a more than adequate replacement and even a new worker for his catalogue during the time she was gone. He would even give her some extra credits just for that.

 

With a low snort, she replied to Kyle that he could quit hitting on her, but that she appreciated his concern and help.

 

Kyle only wrote back the time table and the partner she would be working with, along with a winking smiley. It was set then and Ala printed out the sheet in her office and then shut down the laptop and closed it. Having to work from 2000 till 0600 or 0800 (depending on long how the game goes on for), would make a great income to live on for some time.

 

“Are you going on a mission too?”

 

Ala almost jumped through the roof, letting loose a surprised, rather high pitched yelp.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ! North, you’re going to kill me!” she gasped when she felt like her heart wouldn’t stop in the next second.

 

“You didn’t answer my question.” the man replied sternly, pushing away from his position leaning against the door frame.

 

He walked over, sitting down beside the woman. Close up, she could see the slightly sour expression on his features.

 

For the sake of somehow keeping a bit of peace, Alaska sighed heavily, “Yes, I am going on a mission.”

 

“And why? Are you insane? This could get you killed!” North’s rage was somewhat contagious, as she felt the rage boil inside her too. All this time with South pushing her back, being angry with her, attacking and lashing out on her, North now being pissy because of her god damn work…

 

“So?” she replied in a defiant tone and she could see the anger in his eyes flare up, “I am a goddamn soldier in case you’ve forgotten. How did you imagine that I managed to bring you back here if not with a fucking power suit? I was a member of the Elbon Special Forces!” she shot back with a snarl.

 

“Besides, how do you think I fucking earn the money to pay the rent and shit here? To pay for the bandages and all the shit that helped to get you treated?!” she stood up furiously and turned away briskly to the door.

 

“I am certainly not sitting at home and having a fucking tea party in here or some kind of goddamn bakery seminar!” she grabbed her black Sukajan jacket with a Kyuubi and a Torii-gate appliquéd on the back and stomped out of the door. Slamming it shut, she was out of the building a bit later.

 

She would walk around mindlessly for some hours to blow off some steam and clear her mind. She needed to get her thoughts back in check. It was rare for her to lose it like that, but all the lashing out from South and now with even North attacking her had made her snap.

 

A girl could only take so much pressure.

 

***

 

Back in the apartment sat a young man, looking at the closed door with a completely baffled expression.

He had gotten to know Alaska as a gentle and nice person so far, so her freaking out as she did was something absolutely new to him.

 

Growling, he laid his face in his hands and groaned. What the actual fuck? Were all girls in his life against him!?

 

With a huff, he got up and decided to take a shower and then go to bed.

 

But even after the shower and lying in bed, he couldn’t find rest. He was thinking about the dispute he had with South and after her departure he had fought with Alaska too.

 

All because he was worried about them getting hurt!

 

“Is it so bad to be worried about someone and just wanting to keep them safe?” the Freelancer growled, throwing an arm over his eyes in frustration.

 

“It’s not bad to worry about someone.” Theta materialized beside his head, sitting on the pillow, “But it’s bad to behave like an asshole about that.”

 

This caused North to send the little Fragment a glare.

 

Theta knew that it wasn’t meant badly, so he only shrugged with his shoulders nonchalantly, “You took your anger about South out on her. That was kind of a dick move.”

 

This caused North to throw the Fragment a mix between a smoldering glare and a surprised look.

 

“Since when do you know that word?” the Freelancer asked curtly.

 

“Since I met York through you?” the Fragment quipped back.

 

Point one for Theta, thought North to himself.

 

North and Theta had an agreement to give each other some space in their thoughts, where the other wouldn’t pry in.

 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand as Theta then again regarded him carefully, “As I said, you took your anger about South out on Alaska.”

 

Theta restrained himself from saying that South wasn’t the saint North wanted to see her as.

 

“Yeah, I know that now.” North muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“So how about saying sorry when she gets back? She’s doing all this for you and your sister. This is her work. Don’t blame her for something that you do yourself. Remember all the shit you pulled in Project Freelancer?”

 

North huffed after some time, but didn’t give an answer.

 

Theta seemed to take this as an answer in and of itself and continued, “Look, she’s doing that work to gain money and to survive. If she didn’t have this job, she wouldn’t have been able to give you shelter and look after you. Fuck, she wouldn’t even have been able to give South a job when she needed to blow off some steam.” Theta concluded simply, also taking South into consideration.

 

He didn’t like the sister of his best friend, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t understand North’s feelings towards his only family around here which was why he decided to also throw her into the mix to show North what Ala had done for both of them, not only for North when he was out cold during this one and a half week period.

 

“Yeah, you’re right…” North sighed. “I will apologize to her when she’s back. Although I don’t know when it is that she will return.”

 

“At least you’re going to do it.” Theta replied with a sigh.

 

“Yeah…” North yawned, “Let’s get some rest. It’s late.” the Freelancer muttered, huddling up in the blanket although he felt a bit guilty for occupying her bed while Alaska had to stay on the couch.

 

“Right. Good Night.” Theta muttered before disappearing and logging off for the night.

 

“Good night, Theta.” North wished, closing his eyes to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It was morning already by the time that Ala returned home. She had been walking around for hours until she landed in a bar close to her apartment.

She took some drinks and decided to return home when the sun was starting to creep over the horizon and the bar closed for the day so the owner could get some rest.

She decided to drop by a bakery to get some buns for breakfast as a kind of peace offering before returning.

When she entered the apartment, it was still silent and she could see North lying in bed and sleeping soundly through the door that had been left ajar.

She couldn’t say why exactly, but she would not have been surprised at all if North actually was wide awake and monitoring the apartment in wait for her to return.

Anyways, upon entering the kitchen she checked the clock to see that it was around seven in the morning. So it was just about time to eat breakfast and then get to bed afterwards to get some hours of sleep on the couch before leaving for her mission in the evening.

When she was done preparing, she poured herself a cup of freshly brewed coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

Grabbing a bun out of the basket she had prepared, she cut it open and spread butter and jam on one of the halves.

Biting into it, she absentmindedly stirred her coffee and thought about the happenings of last night.

Swallowing down the bite, she took a sip of coffee. The buns were better today than any other days when she had them before. Probably because the baker had a good day. Maybe he and his wife had sex or something, which is why the buns were so good.

Grinning in amusement about her own mental joke, she took another sip of coffee when a voice came from the entrance of the kitchen, “What’s so funny?”

Out of shock, she dropped the mug and its contents spilled over her dark blue tank top as the mug shattered on the kitchen floor.

“Aw, fuck!” she cursed, though there was no real venom in her voice—only disappointment.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” North immediately replied, crouching down in the same moment that Ala did to pick up the shattered pieces of the mug.

This resulted in them both banging their foreheads together.

Falling back on her rear, she held her hurting head.

“Ouch!” Tears stung her eyes.

“Ow!” she heard North mutter, holding onto what was nearly the same spot on his head.

“You have quite a hard skull.” the Freelancer remarked with an apologetic smile.

“I can give that compliment right back to you.” Ala muttered, blinking away the tears in her eyes and slowly starting to get up.

“Wait, let me help you.” North was faster on his feet than she was, extending a hand to help her up.

Although Alaska usually wouldn’t take a man up on such an offer as this subsequently would lead to men thinking that she was weaker, but here… Firstly, she was out of the service at the moment and wouldn’t need to keep up her reputation. Secondly, it wasn’t the time to play the stubborn asshole. She decided to put her pride aside for once and accept the offer.

With a thankful smile she grabbed the hand and let herself be pulled up.

She was wearing only slippers, having put them on when she entered the apartment.

This, in the end, caused her to slip on the puddle of coffee and start to fall forward. Her only thought in that moment was a rather inelegant ‘Oh shit!’ before she landed smoothly on something.

Or… Rather into someone’s arms. North’s arms, since he was the only person besides her in her apartment.

“Smooth.” Came the dry comment of the Freelancer.

“Yeah, fuck you.” Ala muttered, pushing herself away from him with a red face, and immediately turning around to start picking up the shards on the ground.

When she had thrown away the shards, she turned around to North, who was still standing there and regarding the woman with a strange expression in his eyes.

“I- uh- Thanks.” Ala muttered, her cheeks reddening again, “I mean, for saving me from a bloody nose.” She added, standing there some moments before she, as if having remembering something suddenly, grabbed a hankie and started cleaning up the coffee that had spilled on the ground.

“That’s… okay.” North’s muttered reply came after seemingly having snapped out of his daze, “I wanted to say sorry actually before this happened.”

“For?”

Fuck, was her brain turning into such fucking goo that she didn’t even remember what had happened more than five minutes ago?

“For the dispute yesterday. I was angry about South and took that out on you. That wasn’t right and I am sorry for that. I am well aware of the fact that you know how to defend yourself given that you were a Special Ops like South and I had been.” He explained, scratching the back of his blond head.

Right… the dispute they had yesterday.

Actually, she had already forgotten about it after blowing off some steam since she had come to the same conclusion as North had when she thought about it with some emotional distance.

With her free hand, she made a dismissive gesture, “Forgiven and forgotten. Just… don’t do it again.”

There was a sigh, which sounded oddly like a relieved one, before North answered, “Okay, deal.”

With that, he went over to the cabinet to take another mug out but noticed that there was only one left.

“Looks like you are lacking mugs?” the Freelancer asked casually.

North saw very well how she blushed. Luckily, Ala didn’t notice that he did the same. With that question, he was only trying to keep their discussion away from that incident. It was a cover up so to speak, because it was as awkward for him as it must have been for her.

Theta giggled in the back of his mind when remembering the incident. He could hear him saying something about North having a thing for Ala, which North denied with a bit an annoyed sigh, but Theta wouldn’t listen. He felt the same sort of childish joy as when a little brother just found out that the bigger brother had a crush on someone—which usually always resulted in the little brother teasing the older one relentlessly about it.

Being so caught up in his mental dispute with Theta, he almost missed Ala’s answer. She now had cleaned up everything on the ground, washing out the hankie before hanging it back over the tap.

“Yeah, those were the last two I had. Since I had been living alone before you guys came, two or three mugs were enough for me.” She replied.

North hummed appreciatively, taking out the last mug along with a glass out of the cabinet and filling them with coffee. He brought them to the table, putting down the mug at Ala’s space and taking the glass for himself.

Only moments later, the black haired woman sat down at the table too. She felt relieved that North stirred the conversation almost professionally away from the earlier massive awkward subject for her.  
It was just her libido going crazy that was it. It was not like she had a crush on him, mind you!

When they both sat down at the table, North then snorted with an amused grin, “You brought breakfast?”

“Had nothing left here to eat and I was out anyways.” She replied curtly, deliberately taking a swig of her cup. Since she was sitting angular towards North, the whole hiding-behind-the-mug-trick didn’t work.

Luckily he didn’t call bullshit on her act and let it pass.

“Hm, thanks.” the Freelancer replied then, taking one of the buns and starting to eat.

It was some moments later, when North again spoke up, the silence having settled between them into a strange blend of comfortable and awkward.

“So, looks like you need new mugs?” his tone was conversational, looking for an even ground without any possibilities to put their feet in their mouths.

“Yep, guess I will go and get some when I go for a grocery run tomorrow.” She replied, emptying her cup and getting another one.

North’s glass wasn’t even half empty.

“I see.” He took a swig of it now, “Mind if I accompany you? I can’t stay locked up in here all the time.”

Ala stared at him a long time, trying to assess his motives behind the request. She didn’t know what to make of this sudden question, but she supposed it was because he was healed up completely by now. 

He needed to go outside and live a normal life. He was right. He couldn’t be locked up here for the rest of his life.

She threw him her trademark smirk, which some might consider threatening, “Sure, why not. Now that you’re better, you could also help me out a bit.”

North answered that with a soft “Heh.” before taking another bun and starting to eat.

When Ala was done with her coffee, she got up and put her dish in the sink, “Do you mind if I leave? Gotta hit the hay for tonight.”

“Absolutely not.” He reminded himself to swallow first before talking. He was speaking with a woman at least. This wasn’t the Project’s mess hall where he was talking to York, who had absolutely no manners and didn’t care about them in the slightest unless it came to Carolina.

Emptying his glass, he went over to the coffee pot, taking the last cup and pouring the coffee until the pot was empty, “Shall I make another pot for when you wake up?”

“You sure can.” Ala yawned heartily, stretching herself until one of her shoulders popped, “I’m going to need the coffee to boot up properly.”

“Guess you’re getting up around five?” North was standing at the counter, regarding the woman yawning again.

He was only happy that she didn’t notice him checking her out.

With a big gulp of coffee, he covered up the mental dispute between him and Theta again flaring up when the Fragment started getting cheeky.

‘You like what you see?’ Theta asked with a laugh in his voice.

‘Shut up.’ North replied with a mental cough.

‘So you do. When are you going to tell her?’ Theta could be so fucking persistent.

‘How about never? She’s our host… It would be kinda impolite.’

‘You had better excuses in the past, North.’ the Fragment replied dryly.

‘I know.’ North admitted with a defeated sigh.

‘At least you admit that you like her.’ Was the last statement before Theta decided to shut his trap for the moment and again play the silent onlooker.

“Hey, North, you in there somewhere?” A hand waving in front of his face made him jump a bit in surprise.

“Uh sorry, I was lost in thought.” He lied, trying to cover up the fact that Theta was needling him about his crush – Okay, he was admitting it! – and trying to play his wingman.

“Obviously.” the black haired woman snorted sarcastically before continuing, “Anyways, I said that I would crash on the couch. If you want, you can have my laptop to watch some TV.”

She was just about to turn around and leave when North held her back by grabbing her shoulder. It was a strange but not unwelcomed touch.

“I propose something else. You take the bedroom and I take the living room.” North decided with a smile, which was quickly answered by Ala with a shake of her head.

“That’s your place. I am fine with the couch.”

“It’s your home.” North stated, “And your bedroom. And you need the sleep. So you are going to your bedroom and getting your sleep since bedrooms are meant for that.”

“And what about you, when you get tired?” Ala asked after some moments, when she came to the realization that she wouldn’t be able to persuade North otherwise. She knew by now that he could be fucking stubborn once he had made up his mind on something, just as she could be.

“I can sleep in your office. I just need to get back in shape still, but I am well enough that I can take up the bed in there. I won’t accept any back talking. You’re getting back your bed and I will sleep in the office like South did. End of discussion.”

This drew a long sigh out of Ala.

“Okay, okay. I surrender.” She yawned again, the tiredness kicking in for real now.

“You want to change the bedsheets before you go to sleep?” North asked with consideration woven into his voice.

“I changed them yesterday.” Ala answered like that would be the end of the discussion, but North didn’t accept that.

“I already slept on them one night. Not everyone would feel okay with that.” He embarrassedly scratched the back of his head again, looking away from her.

“Yeah. But it was only one night, and I am no princess. I’ve slept in worse conditions. Besides, I only have two sets of duvet and my next washing day is in one week.” She replied, starting to walk away.

“Then you could take South’s since they are freshly washed.” North was trailing behind her.

Before the bedroom, Alaska stopped and turned around.

“Jeez, North, stop playing the mother hen.” She said with an eye roll and a laugh, “You’re my guest here and you are not supposed to pamper me. Take it as a new rule of the community in here. You’re a nice guy, but stop this taking care of others bit and worrying about everything.” She laughed again, adding after noticing North being a bit shocked, “No offense, but seriously. It’s okay. End of discussion.”

With that, she turned around again, shortly changing clothes and then going to the bathroom to clean her teeth, brush her hair and braid it again.

When she came out of the bathroom again, she could see North sitting on the couch and watching some kind of news, still reporting about the crash of the ship and about several Agents having gone missing.  
She could see the worry in his face about the crash.

Walking over, she laid both hands on his shoulders from behind him, giving them a reassuring squeeze. 

“South and the others are doing fine, don’t worry.”

“Yeah….” A small smile appeared on the man’s lips.

Ala took her hands off him, slowly to not alert him. She had just become aware of the proximity they had and with the events in the kitchen shortly ago fresh in her mind…

Well… Awkward.

“Anyways. I am going to bed. Have fun watching TV.” She turned around to hide her blush and started walking towards her bedroom. Behind her, she could hear North wishing her a good night.

Entering the room and cuddling in her blanket, she could smell North’s distinctive smell. It smelled a bit like the wind promising refreshing rain, like gun oil and like, hmm… If she had to put it into words, the smell somehow also reminded her of the sun. Bright, gentle, and warm.

Turning around and squeezing her eyes shut, she forced all those thoughts aside and concentrated on falling asleep, which she did moments later. She really must have been tired.

***

In the living room, the news reader turned to a heavy shooting having taken place in New Shanghai, about 1000 Kilometers away from here. Some kind of terrorist act, but North wasn’t really listening.

He had his arms on the backrest, as well as his head and was staring up at the ceiling. Seriously, why was he feeling so strange?

‘Because you like her.’ Theta obviously took it as a cue to chime in again.

North sighed, a long and suffering one, before closing his eyes, ‘I know, it’s just… It’s strange… I never felt like that for someone who is a complete stranger to me so fast.’

He heard Theta snort in his head and lifted an eyebrow, ‘What’s so funny?’

Theta’s tone definitely was amused when he replied, ‘Didn’t you once tell York about love on first sight or that people immediately feel connected and drawn towards each other when meeting? Wait, what was it called…?’

‘Soulmates?’

‘Yeah, that.’

‘There isn’t such a thing as soulmates, Theta.’ North’s parental side came through again.

‘But love on first sight…!’ Theta insisted.

‘Hardly.’ North tried to brush Theta’s reasoning off.

‘What about York and Carolina then? And didn’t you also once tell York that love sometimes chooses the strangest times and places to appear?’ His Fragment wouldn’t stop needling him, North just knew it.

‘We’ve already had been through this, Theta. I like her. I admitted it.’ He at least admitted defeat on this point. He could feel Theta being happy that he was right for once and had won an argument.

‘And when are you going to tell her?’ Theta then continued the topic.

‘I don’t even know if she feels the same way I do.’ North replied with a sigh, now leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his upper legs right above his knees. He put his chin in one of his hands.

‘She does. Stop being such a coward.’

‘Now you’re being an asshole.’ North stated dryly.

‘Alpha is my brother. Are you really surprised about that?’ Theta replied in the same dry voice that North used.

‘Right…’ he sighed again, ‘Anyways, how do you know that she likes me the way I do her?’ he couldn’t help but wonder if his Fragment knew something he didn’t.

‘She does. Trust me.’ Theta replied, almost gently as if he could understand North’s situation.

Given the fact that they were connected in their minds, it was pretty logical that he could follow all of North’s thoughts.

‘I guess I have no other option than that, huh?’ He smiled, a bit relieved to have at least someone to talk to who would understand him when his sister wasn’t around.

He doubted anyway that South would understand his reasoning on this subject as she did in other cases since she obviously didn’t like Alaska very much.

‘Yep.’ Theta obviously considered this subject thoroughly discussed and focused back on the TV, materializing to watch the TV and let North dwell on his thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awkward-train isn't going to stop for those two xD

The black haired woman was woken up by someone shaking her shoulder.

 

“Hey Ala, wake up. It’s time to get up.”

 

She needed a moment for her sleep-addled brain to realize that the person shaking her was North, and that he was doing so because it was time to wake up.

 

Hadn’t she…?

 

Fuck, the alarm!

 

Jerking up, she dropped back onto the bed in the next moment.

 

“Do we always have to meet this way?” she groaned, holding the already abused spot on her forehead.

 

When shooting up just then, she hadn’t considered the fact that North was leaning over her to wake her up and they had again banged their heads together.

 

“I would also like to find another way to greet one another.” North growled out, obviously feeling some pain as well from the second hit they had experienced that day.

 

“Two fucking times in one day…” she groaned, opening her eyes and blinking her tears away.

 

Sitting up while rubbing her forehead, she could see that North was sitting on the chair by the bed which was oddly enough still there despite his more or less recovery at this point and holding his head.

 

“You okay there?” she asked, swinging her legs out of the bed and leaning over to check on North’s wound.

 

Her head still hurt a bit, but she stubbornly refused to acknowledge the pain when someone else was hurt because of her.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” the blond haired man muttered, slowly letting the hand sink as she insistently tugged at it.

 

Carefully and gently brushing over the bump on his forehead, she heard him hiss slightly in pain.

 

“Looks bad.” She muttered, before adding, “I’m sorry. I’m impossible sometimes.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve had far worse war injuries.” He joked half-heartedly, “It’ll heal eventually.”

 

“I know, I just feel bad for having inflicted it.” She told him self-consciously.

 

“Don’t be. It’s okay, seriously.” North waved her off, smiling gently despite the pain in his eyes.

 

They lapsed into silence until she noticed that she was still holding North’s hand. Neither of them seemed to want to let go of one another’s hold on the other.

 

Almost a bit surprised by that realization, she drew her hand away reluctantly and felt her cheeks begin to heat up immediately.

 

“I- uh- What time do we have?” she stuttered, coughing awkwardly.

 

North seemed as embarrassed as her.

 

“Around half past five. When you didn’t get up after five I decided to check in on you. Have you really been that tired?” He again tried striking up a casual conversation, but failed miserably at it this time.

 

Ala grinned a bit awkwardly, starting to play with the end of her braid once more, “Well, I kind of forgot to set the alarm.” she admitted sheepishly.

 

This caused North to snort under his breath.

 

She got up after feeling like she wouldn’t collapse from banging her head together with North’s for the second time that day, leaving for the bathroom.

 

“I- uh- I’ll get something for your bump. You better… stay here. Yeah…” she muttered, leaving the bedroom and a thoroughly confused North behind.

 

_‘See, I told you that she likes you.’_

_‘Theta…’_ North grumbled, his growling showing that he wasn’t really in the mood to talk especially on that particular subject.

 

 _‘But it’s true! Why else would she blush so badly and stutter around?’_ Theta insisted.

 

 _‘Because we banged our heads together?’_ North replied.

 

_‘That might be, but she likes you. Really, I’m telling you.’_

_‘Yes, let’s wait till tomorrow, okay?’_ North answered, trying to shut the Fragment up as Ala had just returned.

 

Sitting down on the bed, she leaned over and squeezed out some of the ointment she had brought back into the room with her.

 

“Here. This is a pretty good ointment from a local healer. It helps the swelling go down and lessens the pain. I don’t want to know what is in here, but it works wonders.” Ala rambled on while gently applying the ointment to his forehead.

 

As for the wet looking forehead that Ala was sporting, North suspected that she had already applied the ointment to her own forehead.

 

“I’ll leave the ointment on the coffee table so you can apply it when you need it.” She then got up briskly, again starting to play with the end of her braid.

 

“I’m going to the kitchen. You want to come too?” she asked then after some moments had passed with North needing a few more to snap out of his daze.

 

“Yeah, sure. There’s fresh coffee waiting for you.” He got up too rather carefully in order to avoid any problems with his circulation.

 

“Sweet!” Ala laughed and left her bedroom with North trailing behind her a bit afterwards.

 

When he entered the kitchen, she already had her first mug in her hands was savoring the flavor of the coffee in it.

 

“I love coffee. I can’t go without it in the morning.”

 

North smiled at that, taking his usual spot at the kitchen table.

 

“I guess that’s something you have in common with about ninety-nine percent of the soldiers I know. Without coffee, they wouldn’t survive any of the training or the work they had to do.”

 

“True.” With that, she poured herself another cup of coffee that she promptly started drinking then and there.

 

Lapsing back into another amicable silence, Alaska soon excused herself to have a shower and get ready for the mission.

 

Indeed, when she came out of her bedroom a bit later, she was wearing black combat boots, black cargo trousers and what looked to be nearly the same blue tank top she wore this morning before the coffee incident, but this one had some white streaks on it. Her hair was tied in a braid as usual.

 

“I used it for painting.” She explained when she noticed North’s glance to her shirt. She blushed a bit when she noticed where exactly he had been staring in particular.

 

North coughed awkwardly while blushing himself, also having noticed by this point that he had been inadvertently staring at her upper chest.

 

“Right. So blue is your favorite color?” he asked, only to get the subject away from that rather embarrassing incident.

 

“Yeah, it is. Amongst other colors like violet and red.” She explained, flopping down on the couch beside the Freelancer and looking at the screen where a detailed report of the shooting in New Shanghai was being shown, including live reports from there. It looked like some terrorists had some business there.

 

North noticed the faint smell of her shampoo and how refined her features really looked when seeing her profile up close.

 

Turning her head and looking straight at the TV, he tried not to stare too much at the dark haired woman’s face sitting beside him. She looked beautiful, he had to admit. What with her black hair, fair skin, and icy blue eyes…as well as her character in general.

 

She was nice and gentle, but had a wild and untamed touch about her all the same. Ala wouldn’t shun a dispute or a fight. She had her own opinion on things and would press her point if needed with logical arguments and a fire that was unmatched. This fire was in all she did: in her training, in her gait, in her gestures, in her _everything_.

 

Okay… He was in love with her.

 

He didn’t know when it had happened, but it _had_ happened. He finally admitted it to himself.

 

 _‘Told you so.’_ Theta snorted with a cocky grin to his voice.

 

North gave him the mental middle finger, for once not really having the patience to be the nice big brother while getting harassed like that by Theta.

 

The next few hours went by rather smoothly. At least they went by without North making a complete fool out of himself.

 

Around half past seven, Alaska got up and got her Sukajan jacket she mostly wore when going outside. It was something like her trademark when going out.

 

Anyways, North got up too and met up with her at the entrance to the apartment. He regarded her getting ready until she turned around and looked at him questioningly.

 

“Take care, okay? Have a good night.” He said then with a smile, seeing how a smile spread over her lips and her cheeks turned slightly pink at his remark.

 

“I will do my best. Sleep well. See you tomorrow.”

 

With a pat on his shoulder, she left the apartment and closed the door.

 

North locked it, knowing that Ala had her key with her. Besides, it was better to do so since there were enough people around who would want to have something of what the Special Ops agent had no doubt acquired over time.

 

Sighing, North decided to do some training. His thoughts were running in circles and he felt oddly restless.

 

Besides that, he was getting better with every day passing but was still not up to his old fitness so he would kill two birds with one stone by being able to clear his head and get his body back in shape.

 

He changed into his training clothes and went over to the little training room they had in the apartment to get a workout in.

 

***

 

It was morning when he woke up from a key scraping in the lock of the apartment.

 

Immediately the Freelancer was awake and up, alarmed as to who this could be. Checking the clock, he knew that it was probably Alaska but he was on alert nonetheless until the door opened and the owner of the apartment entered.

 

Without her noticing, or at least North hoped so, he took up a more comfortable stance and smiled at her.

 

“Good morning.” He greeted her, making her look up with a tired but happy smile.

 

“Good morning to you too.” She slipped out of her shoes when she noticed the odd stance of the Freelancer, “Have you seriously been sleeping on the couch?” she asked him a bit incredulously, looking him over with concern.

 

“I fell asleep somehow. I didn’t plan on it, actually.” He muttered with an awkward smile.

 

“You better not have.” the black haired woman muttered, slipping out of her jacket and hanging it up.

 

That was when North noticed something.

 

“You had trouble?”

 

“Yeah, just some guy who tried hitting on me.” She explained, rolling her shoulders and her head to loosen said shoulders some, “In the end, it was me hitting _on_ him. He ran home with his tail between his legs.” She snorted at the thought of the guy trying to put up a strongman act and having to admit defeat in the end.

 

North snorted at that mental image too, “I know someone who would have probably reacted the same way you did to that.”

 

This caused Ala to raise an eyebrow while grabbing the little paper bag that had been on the ground and walking towards the kitchen with it, “One of your Freelancer fellows?”

 

“Tex, actually. She had been quiet the femme fatale. Guys often tried to hit on her but she was a badass.” He explained, taking out the remaining mug and a glass as well as some dishes and cutlery in order to set them up on the table.

 

“Let me guess, she wiped the floor with the guys’ sorry asses?” Ala asked with a snort while setting up a pot of coffee.

 

While the coffee was brewing, she arranged the buns in the same little basket she had them in yesterday.

 

“Exactly.” North sat down at the table and waited together with Ala for the coffee to be ready.

 

“I already like her.” Ala stated, looking at the pot and seeing that it was halfway through.

 

“I don’t know about that.” North stated then, “She was kind of a tomboy, sometimes even worse than South.” He doubted Ala would be able to get along with that kind of femme fatale.

 

“Believe me, I know how to get along with those types of people. You just never got to know my asshole side up until now.” She snorted, suppressing a yawn.

 

“You can be an asshole?” North asked with barely concealed fake surprise.

 

“Yep, so it’s better for you if you don’t provoke it.” She returned with a grin when the click of the coffee machine indicated the pot was ready and had finished brewing.

 

North observed her and how she first filled his glass and then poured herself a cup. After putting the pot back on the stove, she sat down at the table.

 

“Well then, bon appétit.” She said with a slight dull note to her voice and face from tiredness and grabbed one of the buns to start eating.

 

“Yeah, enjoy.” He muttered, taking a bun himself.

 

Whereas he was a bit dull from sleep, Ala was from tiredness and so they didn’t talk much during breakfast.

 

After having cleaned up, Ala informed him that she would get up around two in the afternoon and that they could start the day after she had gotten up and had one or two coffees.

 

North said that he probably would sleep too and maybe train a bit.

 

He then asked with a sly grin, “Are you setting the alarm or should I get you?”

 

Ala huffed, her cheeks turning strangely pink at that question.

 

“I’m setting the alarm this time, thanks. Good night.” She muttered.

 

“Good night.” North replied, watching the black haired woman retreat through the door to her bedroom.

 

 _‘You still think that she’s blushing because she has a bad conscience?’_ Theta asked with an amused smile in his tone, appearing after his statement over North’s left shoulder.

 

“No, Theta, I don’t think so.” North replied lowly, “Although I can’t be that sure like you are.”

 

“Why not?” slumping down on the man’s shoulder, the Fragment looked up to his partner.

 

“Humans tend to be difficult beings, you know.” He replied, slumping down on the couch and turning on the TV again. He didn’t feel like training right now.

 

Currently there was a documentation about tigers: an old, proud, and beautiful species of big cats.

 

“For me, it all looks pretty easy. You like her, she likes you.” Theta looked rather satisfied, obviously not seeing the problem at all.

 

“We could be misjudging her signals and interpreting them wrongly.” North sighed, massaging his temples.

 

“What signals could we be interpreting wrongly?”

 

North leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling again, “I don’t know which. It’s just… I can’t be that confident like you are. I need to talk with her to really be sure what she thinks and feels.”

 

“Then talk to her!” Theta exclaimed, earning a dirty look from the Freelancer.

 

“I will. I just need to find the right time.” He replied after calming his temper a bit.

 

“Just don’t wait too long then.” the Fragment replied after a while.

 

“I won’t. I’ll try to talk to her sometime soon about things, okay?” North said in an appeasing manner.

 

“Okay.” Theta, obviously satisfied with North’s offer, was now concentrating on the TV again.

 

North took that as a cue to concentrate on the TV again as well, now really watching the documentary about those beautiful animals.


	9. Chapter 9

When Ala got up in the afternoon, she felt somehow like she had slept enough to not fall asleep while sitting upright. She was still lacking sleep from tending to North. She needed some time off, but she needed money all the same.

 

Well, she guessed that she just had to pull through her tiredness then.

 

Sipping her coffee, she sat on the couch beside North and checked on upcoming missions with Kyle.

 

He would always give her the start time and the approximate amount of time a mission would take in total. That was pretty handy, since she could plan her days according to that info.

 

Pulling up the calendar on her notebook, she checked with the mission dealer and informed him about the missions that she wanted to take.

 

North was sitting beside her, observing her attentively although he was acting like he was watching the movie playing on the TV. It was an old movie, but still a rather awesome one: _Transformers_ , the very first movie.

 

Noticing his stare, she looked over to him out of the corner of her eyes, “What’s up? You want to have a mission too?”

 

This gave the Freelancer pause. It took some moments in which he was blinking dumbfounded at her, until he got his bearings back in check.

 

“Wouldn’t be such a bad idea actually.” He said at length. “Are there any I could take up?” he asked, looking at the screen of the notebook Ala pushed over so that he could look on it too.

 

The chat with Kyle was still open, and he wrote if she had already made up her mind.

 

Ala leaned over slightly, shooting back a quick reply.

 

**_Ala:_ ** _Wait a sec. A friend staying at my place at the moment is interested in taking jobs on too._

**_Kyle:_ ** _You mean North? South’s brother?_

 

Ala and North looked at each other in surprise that he knew who Ala was talking of, though she had an idea about where he could have gotten this information.

 

**_Ala:_ ** _Let me guess. South told you?_

**_Kyle:_ ** _A bit, yes. Mainly that he has some kind of crush on you._

****

**_Ala:_ ** _He’s sitting beside me, asshole._

**_Kyle:_ ** _So?_

 

Ala growled, feeling her face heat up. She rubbed her hand over her face and then quickly shot a message back.

 

**_Ala:_ ** _Just gimme those damn missions he could do. Or are there any of mine you need a second soldier on?_

**_Kyle:_ ** _First I need his specialization._

 

Alaska looked over to the Freelancer who had quite red cheeks now too with a questioning glance. North then shortly told her what Kyle requested.

 

**_Ala:_ ** _Sniping, hand-to-hand combat, resilience... He’s a Special Ops like South._

**_Kyle:_ ** _Okay, give me a sec._

 

It took him two minutes until he replied, sending a list of missions that they both could take up spread over the next two weeks, starting from tomorrow night when they would have some kind of guarding job inside the huge house of a local mafia boss. Since they both were working, they would earn double and so Ala wouldn’t have to work as hard to have a passable income.

 

The black haired woman then confirmed all of the missions and soon after there was a list coming from him.

 

As usual, the woman printed it out and hung it up on the corkboard hanging beside the entrance to the kitchen.

 

It was more unusual to work during the day.

 

Mostly it had been a given since Ala started working for Kyle that the missions were often during the night. Daily work was rarer, and during the next two weeks of work that they got, they wouldn’t work a single day, only during the nights.

 

North had pulled a bit of a face when he heard what subjects they would have to guard or take out, depending on the mission.

 

Ala had told him that he wouldn’t be able to choose who he had as a target unless he decided that he wouldn’t take up missions like those.

 

North shook his head, saying that it was okay. He did worse stuff in Project Freelancer and would be okay with the targets in these cases.

 

After Kyle logged off and Ala shut down her laptop, an extremely awkward silence settled between them.

 

North had felt like his head would explode with heat when he read what Kyle had written so deliberately. He had the strange intention that this Kyle and South could more be twins than he and South were. They were so goddamn alike when it was about calling him out and embarrassing him.

 

He was just about to say something when Ala stood up abruptly and said something about having to go for the grocery run if they wanted to get something edible by today.

 

A bit taken aback, North nodded and followed her out of the apartment after she grabbed her wallet.

 

“First, we’re going to get the groceries. Afterwards, we have to get you some kind of combat outfit for the missions. I guess you know best what kind of outfit suits you. I’ll just show you the stores and the styles that I recommend for shit like this.” She rambled on, playing nervously with the end of her braid while walking.

 

North had found out by now that this was some kind of tick. She would do it when she was feeling nervous, embarrassed, or was thinking extremely hard about something. It was an unconscious act. She did it without really realizing it, which made it even more adorable in his book.

 

Inwardly, he sighed heavily. He obviously had to talk with her if it was so obvious, even to strangers.

 

 _‘I told you so.’_ Theta sang in his head.

 

 _‘Shut up.’_ North commented, focusing back on the street and Ala walking beside him.

 

First they went to get the groceries, although they almost forgot to buy a six-pack of mugs for their morning coffee. Thanks to Theta, they didn’t forget that though.

 

After that, she brought North to a military shop and let him browse through the clothing there until he had a combat outfit assembled consisting of black combat boots, black cargo trousers, and a dark violet shirt in the same color as his armor.

 

If it was chillier outside, he would wear the black leather jacket his sister obviously bought for him while he had been unconscious.

 

After Ala did the paying, they left with tons of bags in hand and made their way back home.

 

“So, how about trying out the mugs when we’re home?” North asked casually while they were walking through the streets.

 

The sun was already setting and bathing the city in a golden and reddish light.

 

“First let’s clean them up, okay? I prefer drinking from clean cups.” Ala replied with a low chuckle.

 

“Right, the coffee machine takes some time anyway to brew the coffee.” A small smile appeared on North’s lips and he chuckled lowly.

 

To this, the black haired offered him a wide and happy smile.

 

Arriving back home, they first put the groceries away and Ala started cooking dinner since it was already around seven in the evening. Dinner was something light, since they both weren’t really up for eating at the moment as neither of them had worked or did any kind of fitness training during the day.

 

After dinner, North started up the coffee machine and Ala started washing up the dishes and the mugs. Halfway through, she could see that North was drying the washed dishes.

 

The silence between the two of them just then was amicable and nice, neither of them really wanting to break the silence by saying anything.

 

The only thing breaking it was the coffee maker, signaling the end of the brewing cycle with a _‘ping!’_

 

“Looks like it’s over.” North commented with a slight smile, taking out a blue and violet mug out of the cupboard to fill it with coffee.

 

“How about we take that outside?”

 

It had been rainy during the last couple of days, which was why they were stuck inside the apartment, but today it had been sunny and warm for the first time this year. Alaska really wanted to take the coffee outside to enjoy the last warm sunbeams before it started getting chillier again.

 

“Awesome. I haven’t seen much of the city from above.” North replied, putting some sugar and cream into Ala’s coffee.

 

She liked black coffee in the morning to boot up properly, but in the evening, or when having time to herself, she often liked having sweetened coffee with cream. Sometimes she would make herself a Cappuccino or a Café Latte, sometimes even making a creation on her own.

 

Of course North had picked up on that already and made her a normal coffee with a bit more cream than usual that was just perfectly sweet for her, while the woman was preparing the lounge outside. It was located on the side where she could watch the sun set.

 

Carrying out the cushions and two quilts, she observed the sun now hitting the horizon.

 

Just when she wiped down the glass table, she heard steps coming closer. Looking up, she could see North walking up to her, carrying two mugs with him.

 

“Looks like I am just in time.” He remarked with a smile and a look over to the setting sun.

 

“Yep.” She replied, popping the _‘p’_ at the end for added emphasis.

 

Putting the mugs down on the table, he sat down beside the woman who had plopped down on the lounge just a second before him. She had snatched one of the quilts she had brought out and spread it out behind her.

“Mh…” she savored the taste of the coffee with closed eyes when she took the first sip, “That’s good. Your own creation?”

 

“Invented it just now.” the ex-Freelancer replied, looking ahead and observing the sun setting.

 

Ala snorted through her nose, leaning back and also observing the sunset.

 

“Good recipe. Make sure to remember it and show me just how you did it.” Taking another sip, she again savored the taste of coffee, cream, and sugar in just the perfect blend on her tongue.

 

“Me showing you that?” North snorted lowly. “And what am I going to do then when you know the recipe?”

 

“Don’t know. Come up with a new one?” she retorted, laughing lowly when she heard North laugh under his breath too.

 

“Yeah, right.” He muttered, emptying his cup. They had been out here already about fifteen minutes or more so it was no wonder that his and Ala’s cups were already starting to drain, “Before I tell you the recipe, how about I make you another one?”

 

“Now that sounds like a great idea.” Ala emptied her cup with a low laugh and held the cup out to North.

 

Taking it, he again laughed under his breath and turned around to get another cup for him and her.

 

While he was gone, she looked into the sky where stars slowly started to appear.

 

 _Hm…_ Wasn’t there something on the news a while ago when North had been taking a shower? Something about a solar storm scheduled to hit the planet today?

 

Looking up in the sky, she searched it for the telltale signs of aurora borealis to appear.

 

“You searching for something?”

 

Ala jumped with a low squeal at the question. Leaning back on the lounge she wheezed, trying to calm her hammering heart.

 

“Keep on doing that and I am going to have a heart attack before I even turn thirty!” she groaned dramatically.

 

North chuckled at that in an apologizing manner, giving her the coffee. Their fingers brushed against one another’s for a moment.

 

“Sorry, I guess that whole stealth thing is something that is sticking with me even though I am not a part of Project Freelancer anymore.”

 

“Figured as much.” Ala replied, shortly putting the mug away to pull up the quilt and cuddle into it since it had become a bit chillier.

 

The sun was gone and it had gotten somewhat chilly now.

 

“So my assessment wasn’t that wrong when I estimated you to be around twenty-five?” North asked casually while sipping his coffee, now also having pulled up the quilt since it really became somewhat chilly out there.

 

“That’s a pretty good guess.” Ala replied after taking another sip of her coffee, “I am turning twenty-five in about a month.” She informed him casually, looking up to the sky and seeing a flash of green dancing over it.

 

“And how about you? Guess you’re around, hm…” she made a thinking face as if re-evaluating her opinion, but noticed pretty fast that she was only checking him out.

 

Taking a sip from her coffee, and even though she knew that hiding behind the mug didn’t do the trick, she tried hiding her blush that way still. When she had swallowed, she then looked over the rim of her cup into the night sky.

 

“I suppose you’re around thirty, huh, old man?”

 

“Old man?” He replied, his face deadly serious. An arched eyebrow accompanying the retort.

 

Ala could see right through his bluff. He wasn’t really mad, just pretending to be.

 

Emptying the cup and putting it on the little coffee table, she laid back on the lounge again and looked over to North.

 

“Everyone who is older than thirty is old for me.” She replied with a laugh after she had swallowed and let the Freelancer glower a bit at her in mock anger.

 

North snorted at that.

 

“I am glad I am only twenty-seven then. Three years until I turn old.” His dry sarcasm made Alaska starting to laugh loudly.

 

Somewhere in her laughing fit she heard North chime in, although he was not laughing as loud as she was laughing.

 

When she calmed down a bit, she laid back on the lounge, trying to catch her breath, but shuddering at the same time. It really had gotten cold out.

 

“Shall we go inside? It’s getting chilly.” North then asked, immediately picking up on her changed demeanor.

 

To his surprise Ala only shook her head. What caused the Freelancer’s pale blond eyebrows to shoot up a bit though was her explanation as to why she did not want to go inside just yet.

 

“There was a sun storm some days ago. There was a broadcast in the news the day before yesterday that the storm should hit New Asia about today. Sounded like a pretty big one.” she explained, and North immediately picking up on why she wanted to stay.

 

“You think that you can see northern lights?” he asked then, looking up to the sky too.

 

“Actually yes. I hoped so.” She answered a bit sheepishly, ducking her head a bit in embarrassment. It sounded childish, but she never had seen northern lights and she really wanted to see them once, now that they are saying that it was very likely for them to show up tonight.

 

“Okay, then let’s stay outside a bit longer,” North said after a longer pause in which he obviously was contemplating what Ala had said.

 

“Another coffee?” he then asked, looking at the empty mug.

 

Again, she shook her head, “Probably not, or I am never going to get any shuteye this night.”

 

North chuckled at that, emptying his cup to and putting it back down on the table too.

 

“Just because I don’t want any more coffee, that doesn’t mean that you have to stop drinking coffee too.” The young ex-Special Ops then remarked with an amused smile playing on her lips.

 

This caused North to chuckle again under his breath.

 

“I know. I just have to quit drinking too. Same reasons as you. I am not going to sleep otherwise.” He then replied calmly.

 

“Unless we aren’t going to feast away the night, I suppose we both better stop drinking coffee then.” She replied, still searching the sky for the telltale signs again.

“I’d prefer not. Having a regulated daily schedule is something I missed the most when I was in Freelancer. Sometimes we went several days without sleep or something akin to relaxing sleep at least.” He replied, “Which is why I am enjoying this so much, living here—“

 

Before he was able to finish his sentence though, he was cut off by Ala pointing up in the sky.

 

“There it is!”

 

Looking up, he indeed could see green and violet-red northern lights starting to wander over the sky.

 

“Whoa! It’s so cool!” the black haired woman cooed beside him, making him smile and a warm, fuzzy feeling to spread through his body.

 

 _‘You’re_ so _whipped, you know that?’_ Theta asked in the back of his mind, an emotion washing over North that felt like a mix of fondness and a childish happiness that he knew something before North did.

 

 _‘I know. But for now, let’s just enjoy the moment, okay?’_ North said, enjoying the fuzzy feeling spreading further throughout his body.

 

 _‘Okay.’_ Theta replied.

 

 _‘You can appear if you want to. It’s safe.’_ The Freelancer prompted the Fragment.

 

Theta didn’t reply, but appeared over North’s shoulder to look up to the sky himself.

 

During the time the three of them were looking up at the sky, Ala slid over to North until she was sitting closely beside him.

 

She didn’t even seem to mind when North, in a moment of bravery, rested an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to share their body warmth with each other since it really had become chilly by that point.

 

None of the three wanted to go inside just then and miss the northern lights making a formidable light show up in the sky.


	10. Chapter 10

The days and weeks went by, and despite having said otherwise, North indeed started to settle in domestically together with Ala, feeling this fuzzy feeling to grow inside him with everyday passing he was living here with her.

 

South hadn’t shown up so far, obviously heard from Kyle about the rather embarrassing chat they had some time ago and deciding to leave her lovesick brother figuring shit out by himself.

She only used to shoot him a text every once a while, all of them sounding akin to the first.

_I’m fine asshole, no need to worry._

 

What North suspected though was South having something to do with the Leaders of the Project never searching for him. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but he supposed that she really had her hands in that since he once witnessed how fast the Project was at tracking down their members when they tried fleeing.

 

This once happened with Agent Rhode Island, him trying to run away after his best buddy, Agent Delaware died a useless dead during a mission without a real target and no intel to retrieve. Agent Rhode Island had deactivated the tracking signal and all other things which he could be trackable, but the Project found him nonetheless through their contacts.

 

Which, in the end led to one conclusion. The Project was too good at keeping their Agents in line, so there was no chance they wouldn’t be searching for him unless there was another reason. And North had the distinct feeling that South was the reason why.

 

***

 

“Acho!” For the umpteenth today Ala sneezed loudly. “Holy fuck, someone really must hate me.” She muttered while cleaning her nose. She felt like another sneeze would come up, but decided to try to ignore it as long as possible.

 

“How’s that? Because you’re sick?” North asked, observing the black haired woman beside him.

“I’m not sick.” She replied miffed. Plucking another tissue out of the box, just in case. They were both lounging on the couch together, another rainy day outside and they were watching another movie. Pacific Rim.

 

“I just sneeze a lot. Whatever reason it has, but I am _not_ sick.” Ala immediately added when North wanted to retort that the reason was that she was sick. “My mom often used to say that you sneeze when people talk ill about you.” She then explained her previous statement.

 

“And who would hate you that much?” he asked then, curiously, watching the black haired attentively.

Ala sighed. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she suspected South to do since she had been pretty hostile against her during the time he had been unconscious.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe some of my classmates during Highschool.” She replied then, since she knew that there were some girls being pretty jealous of her for her looks and who teased her about her decision to enlist in the army after school. So it wasn’t much of a lie then. And considering the time, she suspected that there would be some kind of big gathering of her old classmates soon. It was rather plausible that they would talk about her not being around. Maybe not with the best choice of words.

 

“I see, so you hadn’t been the class’ favorite then?” North asked.

“Nope, not really, but it’s long gone.” She replied curtly, making clear that she didn’t really want to talk about it anymore.

 

It was silent for a moment, both of them watching the part where Mako Mori started chasing the Rabbit during her drift with Raleigh Becket.

 

North sighed deeply all of a sudden, as if having made up his mind. “I thought about going out to a bar since we don’t have another mission coming up until the day after tomorrow.” He started. “Would you join me?” He still was staring straight in the TV, and Ala was damn sure that she was hallucinating since she thought she would see a blush creeping across Norths cheeks. But it was hard to tell since there was a fight going on the screen and the flickering lights made it hard to tell.

 

But she couldn’t shake the feeling that… was he really… was he asking her out on a date?

She felt her cheeks starting to turn red too at that, making her cough awkwardly.

 

“Uh sure, why not? Going out once in a while for a nice drink is a good idea.” She then replied trying to desperately focus on the movie playing across the screen.

“Okay.” This sounded more like a relieved sigh than an answer in Alaska’s ears. She could see him checking the clock, before asking. “How about we start around eight? We could have dinner before.”

“Definitely, I am not keen on drinking shit on an empty stomach or I’m going to be plastered before nine.” She replied dryly, what made North grin.

 

“Wouldn’t be opposed to see that.” He then muttered under his breath, Ala not really being sure if those words were meant for her to be heard.

 

In the end, she decided to hit the shower and get ready to prepare dinner.

While cooking, North went to take a shower, since they both were sweaty and sticky from sparring and working out after lunch.

 

When they had dinner and cleaned up the mess, Ala took some time longer in her room to change a top she had soiled during dinner. Seriously, she was so nervous she couldn’t even eat properly!

She didn’t know if she was imagining things, but she felt like this was a date and she was hopeful. She had long ago realized that it wasn’t her libido being on rampage when she felt strange, but more slowly but progressively had fallen for that gentle and adorable dork sitting in the living room – and she had fallen hard for him.

 

Sighing, she snatched her favorite blue tank top out of the drawer, the one with the white streaks and decided to go with it.

Opening her braid, while walking to the bathroom, she shortly brushed her hair again and walked out of the bathroom while braiding her hair again.

 

This whole braiding thing was so used by now, that she did it without really thinking about it.

“Good to go.” She then announced, just seeing the news ending. “Heard anything new?” She asked, leaning against the backrest of the couch.

“Nothing much.” Replied North calmly, getting up himself after shutting of the TV. “Another shooting in New-Shanghai but aside of that, nothing new.” He muttered, sounding a bit sad. Probably because there aren’t any news about the Project and the crashed ship about half a year ago and North subsequently not knowing about the whereabouts of his fellow team members.

 

“I’m sure they’re alive.” She muttered, patting his back awkwardly when they both started putting on their boots.

“I know…” replied North, but Ala didn’t buy this answer as it was more a reply he wanted to believe in than making her buy it. He desperately hoped for it, but he couldn’t be sure.

 

She knew that feeling. She had been as lost as him when she didn’t know about Noble Three for a long time, until she got word from Hollaway that there was a new sniper instructor on their planet, shortly called Jun, and when he asked him about Elbon he whether denied nor affirmed the question.

 

Wanting to believe in the fact that this guy was the guy she had been with for about half a year before shit hit the fan.

 

Standing up, she wanted to grab her sukajan jacket, only to find it missing. Blinking a bit taken aback, she heard North chuckle beside her.

“You looking for that?” he asked, holding up the jacket to her.

“Actually, yes.” She replied, trying to snatch the jacket.

“Here you go.” He then muttered, slipping behind her and helping her putting it on.

 

Just in this moment, Ala was happy that she had her back towards him so he wouldn’t see a blush dusting her cheek.

“Uh, thanks.” She muttered a bit awkwardly, zipping the jacket up and taking the keys from the low sideboard at the side.

 

As always, she would let North out first, before closing the door and locking it for good measure. Finally, she would open a fake fire hose case to activate the alarm system.

 

After that, they took off towards their regular bar, about twenty minutes of leisurely walking away from their shared apartment.

 

Arriving there, they found one of the velvety booths empty and decided to spontaneously take it up.

It took only moments for the waitress to appear, asking for what they would be taking. Ala settled on a White Russian, while North opted for a beer.

 

Slipping out of their jackets, they threw them on the seats whilst Alaska slipped towards the middle, close to North and having a great view on the dancefloor.

 

There were a lot of people, more or less drunken and/or stoned, but everyone enjoying the time they had.

She snorted, tearing her eyes away from the dancing people when the waitress reappeared with their drinks.

 

Paying, and giving some tip, the waitress left again with a thanks and Ala focused back on the people dancing.

 

After this song, the tune of a special song started playing up. It became something like hers and Norths song, both of them loving the song itself and the rhythm.

 

That was, when North suddenly got up, extending a hand to her. “May I have this dance?” He then asked overly formal, a smile spread across his lips and his cheeks seemed dusted with pink. And this time was no denying or thinking of a hallucination. North _was_ blushing and it made Ala blush thinking of North blushing because of her.

 

A happy smile spread across her face. “I’d love to.” She replied with a happy laugh, grasping Norths hand and letting him pull her to her feet.

Together they walked over to the dancing floor and started dancing, the rhythm not really allowing close contact, so they danced freely, if only a bit closer than absolutely necessary. But neither of them complained.

 

Too soon, the song ended, and North wanted to leave the dance floor, but the black haired woman held him back. “Would you stay a little bit longer?” she asked then, her voice would have sounded timid if she hadn’t have to shout to drown out the music.

It was a slower tune, where you would dance closer than in the previous song and needed some practice in dancing.

 

Which North didn’t seem to have since he suddenly started to fiddle nervously with his fingers and saying something along the line of. “I can’t really dance.”

This caused Ala to giggle lightheartedly, making North look at her like she grew a second head. “Don’t worry, I had some dancing lessons. I can lead. Just follow.” She replied then, grasping his hand tighter and pulling him back.

 

North complied after a while, coming back and letting her lead him through the song. Surprisingly, even for Ala, it went extremely good, North stepping on her foot only one or two times. She didn’t care the slightest however. He tried and was here with her, and that mattered. It was their date, Ala thought for herself with a happy smile.

It felt like a date, so she decided that it was a date.

 

They stayed five or more songs longer than the two they originally wanted to dance, obviously neither of them caring.

But after what felt like the tenth dance, they needed to go drink something. They both felt thirsty.

 

When coming back to their booth, they sat back down, neither of them caring to check on their drinks, since Ala had kind of a reputation around here and people respecting her. Since they all knew that she could take them down with her hands tied on her back.

So nobody dared to mess with her or her stuff.

 

They sat close to each other for what felt like hours and only talked, laughing and giggling along their talk. Those were no heavy subjects, only light ones, making both of them grin until the muscles in their jaws and in their abdomen hurt from laughing.

 

Ala just came back from the bar with another White Russian and a beer when she saw a woman sitting there.

She had long and curly brown hair, dark eyes and a dark Latino skin. So a rather dark type. She was well built. She had curves and even more chest than she did. She always had been rather flat, having only a B-Cup, okay?

 

Alaska knew her name. It was Sugar. Nobody knew her real name. But they all knew that she was the local hoodrat of this district of New-Bangkok.

 

She was sitting beside North, leaning on his shoulder, just like Ala did moments ago, and letting her fingers wander over his skin.

She was talking to him lowly, Ala not able to make out a single word. But what she knew was the way North smiled at her and she smiled at him.

 

Again, fingertips wandered over his bare forearm and Ala felt like puking when she saw fucking goosebumps appear on his skin.

The buzz she had acquainted through the last hours, disappeared immediately. It felt like someone dumped a bucket of icy water on her and made her sobering up within seconds.

 

When Sugars hand wandered up over his hand and turned Norths head to kiss him, the black haired had enough.

Not really quietly, but still undetected by the making out couple, she approached the table, putting down the drinks, making North and the girl jump.

 

“Hey Sugar, nice to see you around.” Her voice sounded neutral, as was her face schooled into a neutral expression.

“Oh Alaska, I didn’t know that this handsome guy is with you.” She replied, again leaning on North and letting her hand trail over his forearm whilst said man looked shellshocked.

 

“Don’t worry about that,” Ala replied, grabbing her jacket from the booth, “I was about to leave anyway. I feel like getting sick and prefer going home and crash.” lied Ala, taking the constant sneezing today afternoon as an excuse.

“Enjoy your time,” she then turned to North. “I guess you still remember where to find the spare key. Since I am going to go to sleep right away, I will lock the door.” Her eyes narrowing a bit when she noticed North just nodding without saying something.

 

“Oh and Sugar?” Said woman looked up. “Yes, Alaska?”

“Don’t go too hard on him. He’s still new around town.” A fake smile appeared on her face, but Alaska remembered to crinkle her eyes a bit too to make sure it looked real.

“I won’t, since he’s your friend.” She replied, still letting her hand wander over the left forearm of the shellshocked North.

 

Ala didn’t know if she wanted to puke or hit he woman. Probably both.

 

“Well then, have a nice evening you two.” She said, turning around and walking off leisurely, although breaking into a jog soon after leaving the bar, which soon ended in a run as fast as she was able to, until she reached her home. Some when during the run, tears started falling down her cheeks at the burning in her chest. It wasn’t raining anymore, the sun having come out for about one or two hours, drying up everything.

 

She fucking thought that was a date! The way they had been together during the last weeks, how he looked so at ease with her, how he seemed to blush every now and then when he complimented her or something else, probably embarrassing happened which was easy to interpret as affection. The fondness in which he used to watch her when he thought she didn’t notice.

 

How he smiled happily when he saw Theta and her interacting.

How they often used to sit together, helping Theta find sleep by either walking around in town or Ala telling him a story she’s been making up just then when he asked for it.

 

She had fallen in love with that idiot that was for sure. And that was the reason why it hurt so much when she saw Sugar kissing him and he didn’t do something to push her away.

 

Entering her apartment, she closed and locked the door, slipping out of her shoes and jacket since they felt confining.

Without even knowing, she found herself on the lounge, curled up in the quilt and still crying. Looking up in the starry sky and trying desperately not to get crushed by the heart and gut wrenching pain she felt.


	11. Chapter 11

Back in the bar, North still sat there. He hadn’t even having touched his beer and was desperately trying to process what had just happened.

 

North had asked Ala out to go to the bar. He hadn’t really been able to put it into words, but he had asked her out on a date. He wanted to tell her _that_ tonight.

 

What he couldn’t say was when things had gone _so horribly_ wrong.

 

They were dancing and enjoying each other’s company. They were dancing so close, their upper bodies almost touching. He had felt awesome when they had danced like that.

 

He had also felt great when they were sitting in the booth and talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. They had been laughing and he had felt so lighthearted and lightheaded like he hadn’t felt in years.

 

Theta was right, he really _was_ whipped…

 

But when Ala left to get another drink, and North had to admit to himself that he had been checking her out while she walked away, another girl had suddenly sat down beside him.

 

She was absolutely not his type, but she was fucking clingy. And being the fucking nice guy that he was, he had tried to be nice and start up a conversation.

 

He didn’t really know when it happened since he already was a bit buzzed. He never really had been much of a drinker, but his body size had made him be able to drink more than others without being completely plastered.

 

But not having drunken something alcoholic in months probably had set his tolerance a lot lower and reduced his reaction time quite a bit.

 

Which probably was why he didn’t notice Sugar turning his head and kissing him. And it probably also explained why he didn’t notice Ala until she put the drinks down with an audible bang.

 

North jumped at that, looking at her with wide and round eyes, feeling caught red handed while Sugar looked not at all impressed.

 

This action of Ala’s, however, made him sober up immediately as though he had been put in a fucking heap of snow.

 

They shortly had a discussion about Sugar and North enjoying the night, while North still desperately tried to get his bearings in check.

 

Before he had managed to find his way back into reality, Alaska was already gone and Sugar was again trying to turn his head to kiss him when Theta decided to interject.

 

 _‘You goddamn fucking idiot!’_ For once North didn’t even have the reaction to chide the Fragment for his language, _‘Move your fucking ass and go after her, asshole, or you’re going to lose her!’_ Theta screamed in his head, giving North a start.

 

With a mumbled excuse, he jumped up and snatched his jacket up too. He practically ran out of the bar.

 

Luckily he already knew the way from the bar back to the apartment, so he ran without really paying attention to his surroundings.

 

His thoughts were running full tilt about what had just happened and he was desperately trying to process them. When he did understand the situation fully, he would have loved to beat himself up.

 

How could he have been so fucking stupid?! He had more than one chance to seal the deal and now Ala thought he was not interested in her!

 

 _‘Stop being so fucking polite all the time!’_ Theta also started berating the Freelancer, _‘She’s been waiting for you to make the first move for forever and now you majorly fucked up everything!’_

 

Growling in his thoughts, he sped up a little bit, trying not to look like he was running from something but wanting to get to the apartment as fast as possible.

 

_‘I know I fucked up, okay?! I only tried not to overwhelm her!’_

 

Theta sighed, and it sounded long and suffering, _‘I know that. I know how much of a polite idiot you are sometimes.’_

North frowned at Theta’s choice of words, but decided not to comment on them.

 

Theta continued as he took his silence as a cue to continue, _‘But sometimes being polite is only going to get people hurt, like in this situation. Sometimes you need to be a bit more demanding, North. You could have prevented this situation if you had been a bit more offensive.’_

 

_‘What if she wouldn’t have liked me that way? It would have been awkward.’_

_‘And what do you think is the situation now?’_ Theta replied dryly, deciding to shut his trap when North reached the door and took the spare key out of the box of the alarm system.

 

Right. If he would have been more offensive and she hadn’t liked him that way, it would have been awkward. But they’re both grown up people, they would have gotten over it.

 

But now, with him being so polite all the time, he had majorly screwed up everything. He had known that Ala liked him. Her reactions during the last few days had made that pretty clear and he had wanted to make everything perfect.

 

And instead he had screwed up gloriously.

 

Standing in the entry way of the apartment, he looked around—a bit lost.

 

It was completely dark and quiet in there.

 

Was Ala even here? Or did she run off somewhere else?

 

Looking around, Theta then informed him that she was outside on the lounge.

 

 _‘You better make up quickly. She’s fucking crying.’_ North could almost touch Theta’s anger. He could understand it in this situation and he didn’t hold it against Theta.

 

Besides him, Alaska had been his closest friend and he loved her like he loved North. And now his best friend had screwed things up so stupidly. He could understand why the Fragment was angry with him and he had all right to be.

 

Theta again returned to the background, saying that he would observe and intervene if necessary but that he wanted North to fucking fix his own shit.

 

North sighed lowly. The two people who were closest to him were either angry or hurt because of him.

 

Slowly making his way over to the door, he poked his head out. What he could see made his gut and conscience twist.

 

Alaska was sitting there on the lounge, a quilt wrapped around her tightly and she was staring off into the distance.

 

In the dim moonlight falling on her face, he could make out tears rolling down her cheeks. Said cheeks were wet from crying.

 

Walking over carefully, as if approaching an injured animal, he sat down beside her.

 

She didn’t move, her eyes not even once looking over at him. Those vivid blue eyes he loved to look into when they were talking together, reading the emotions in them: the joy, the happiness, the mirth…

 

Now they looked positively dull. As though they had lost their luster.

 

When he sat down, Ala pulled the quilt a bit tighter around her and still stared off into the distance.

 

“Wow, you were pretty fast.” Her voice was breathy, probably from crying.

 

“I didn’t hook up with Sugar. She’s not even my type.” North answered, feeling guilt pool in his stomach.

 

“You looked pretty close back there, you know?” Her voice didn’t carry any of the emotions or the fire that it used to when she normally was talking.

 

“She was being clingy and I was trying to be nice.” North rubbed his palms together.

 

“And being the nice guy that you are, you tried to be nice to her since she looked so lost.” Ala still was staring off into the distance with tears still rolling down her cheeks, “In case you hadn’t noticed, she’s a fucking prostitute. She’s the local hoodrat.” She bit out, standing up abruptly and looking as though she wanted to leave to another place as far away from North as possible.

 

_‘Don’t let her leave!’_

North growled in his head that he knew that too, jumping up only moments after Ala and grabbing her arm.

 

What made his worry grow was the fact that she wasn’t even fighting him. She always would fight him during sparring or when they were fooling around and he grabbed her in any way that she didn’t want him to.

 

He could see how her shoulders and head tilted forward and how she drew a shuddering breath. What she said then made his heart twist with guilt.

 

“You are only responsible for what you do. And I am responsible for what I feel. It was my fault for falling in love with you and thinking that this time we spent together meant the same to you as it did to me.”

 

With a weak jerk, she freed her hand, slowly walking away, but only managing to walk some steps before she suddenly was whirled around.

 

It hadn’t taken North so long to process what Ala meant with her words. When he saw her walking away, he decided to _‘Fuck it, I’m done playing the Nice Guy here!’_ and surged forward, grabbing her right arm with his left and whirling her around.

 

Before she even was able to gain her footing, North had an arm around her waist and another one on her face, pressing his lips to hers in a strong, yet loving kiss.

 

For the first moment, the woman was frozen in place from shock, not replying to the kiss that North initiated. He slowly pulled away, bringing just enough space between them so he could talk, although he pulled her as close as possible to him.

 

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you. That’s why I waited so long. And, fuck, I realize now that I almost fucked everything up. I’m sorry! I asked you out tonight because I wanted to tell you that I love you too, but I didn’t imagine in my dreams that—“

 

He couldn’t continue his rambling any longer as his lips were sealed by Ala’s, kissing him with tears rolling down her face and a smile on her lips.

 

When they parted again to breathe, Ala pressed her face into his neck. They both were pretty tall, but Ala still was a bit shorter so she reached only his nose when she was standing straight.

 

It was the perfect height for her to lean against him the way she did.

 

He could feel her hands going up to his chest, fisting the shirt there with her hands when another couple of tears started to fall down and she drew a shuddering breath.

 

Now wrapping both of his arms around her, he only whispered to her, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

He chanted that over and over again, holding her close while she was crying.

 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered again when he felt like Alaska had calmed down a bit.

 

There was another shuddering breath, “It’s okay. It just fucking hurt to see you like that.”

 

“I can see that.” North muttered, feeling his cheeks warming up in embarrassment.

 

“It’s okay, seriously.” North couldn’t help but smile when he heard a giggle bubbling up inside Alaska’s chest, “It hurt, sure, but you made up for it.” The black haired woman laughed again, “You’re just a fucking dork sometimes, you know that?”

 

With that question, she looked up at him and he couldn’t help but smile.

 

The emotions and the fire were back in her voice and in her eyes, although her eyes were still red and puffy from crying.

 

“I was told that earlier.” He started to laugh too at that question, before again pulling the black haired woman into another kiss.

 

From there on, it started escalating. Their kiss soon turned into something more passionate, more fervent.

 

They were stumbling back to Alaska’s room, shedding their layers of clothing on their way there until they landed in her bed, kissing.

 

Both were incredibly eager and game for what they were doing and what they were about to do.

 

***

 

When the sun started to pour through the closed curtains, the young black haired female slowly started to wake up.

She was lying on her right side, feeling someone pressed closely up against her back with strong arms wrapped around her.

 

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know who it was. That knowledge brought a smile to her lips.

 

Okay, it had started off horribly and she had felt like her heart was going to tear into pieces. Like it would shatter in the very next second that she breathed. She hadn’t noticed where she ran to, ending up in front of her door. Without thinking she punched in the code to shut down the alarm and entered the apartment. She ended up on the lounge, wrapping a quilt around her shoulders and trying to block out everything coming from the outside in order to try and make the pain disappear by sheer force of will.

 

…That was until North appeared and sat down beside her, when she felt the last piece of her mental strength crumbling away from him just being there.

 

She had wanted to shout at him, to rage and throw things around. But she didn’t have any strength left to do so. So she had just said what she said.

 

In the end, it turned out better than she would have ever expected in her dreams.

 

North had kissed her, confessing his feelings after she said that she loved him.

 

And well… things went towards the bedroom after that.

 

Sighing happily, she moved a bit so her back was pressing up more against North’s chest, her smile widening a notch when she felt his grip around her waist tighten a bit at her action.

 

However, aside from him tightening his grip around her, North seemed fast asleep.

 

Which was when Theta decided to show up.

 

Luckily, they were covered up to their chests so Ala was pretty much decent. She wouldn’t have wanted Theta to see anything more.

 

When she noticed the flicker of violet in front of her when Theta materialized, she opened her eyes slowly.

 

She felt a headache pound behind her eyes from the alcohol and the crying, but she decided to shove that aside. It wasn’t that bad, she could easily ignore it.

 

“Good morning, Theta.” Ala greeted the little Fragment with a low voice only to not wake North up.

 

“Hey.” said Fragment greeted, sitting down on the mattress beside Ala’s hand and letting his legs dangle off the edge.

 

It took a while until Theta finally started, “I am glad North finally managed to confess what he feels for you.” He told her, making Ala observe him with an attentive glint in her eyes.

 

“You know, he tends to be overly polite and protective when he really likes someone. His politeness often stands in his own way.” The Fragment continued, sighing deeply when he said the next words, “He’s just a fucking dork sometimes.”

 

This caused Ala to snort and start to laugh lowly, trying to keep her volume down in order to not wake the sleeping Freelancer they were currently talking about.

 

Theta threw her a bewildered glare nonetheless and she had to explain herself, “I said that to him yesterday and he said that he had gotten called that already earlier. I guess that was you then?”

“Well, yeah.” Theta said then, laughter bubbling up in his chest and making Ala smile, “I haven’t quite gotten what you talked about since I logged off when I was sure that this idiot would be able to handle the situation on his own.”

 

“Thanks, Theta.” Alaska said then, smiling happily. She was happy that North and she had been able to share this special moment together without anyone else observing them.

 

“You know I still can dig through North’s memories.” Theta stated simply, which caused Ala to grin her lopsided grin.

 

“Have fun trying. I’m sure North is going to fight tooth and nail to keep you away from that.”

 

“Right.” Theta laughed again. “He probably thinks I am too young to see something like that.” He snorted at that, “But when he was unconscious, I went through all his memories, like the ones of his girlfriend back before the military. Besides, I had a fair share of his fantasies when he checked you out.”

 

Ala coughed at that, making the Fragment laugh, although this was a dirty and mischievous laugh.

 

“Some people in here are trying to sleep.” North grumbled against Ala’s neck, not really moving otherwise.

 

Alaska laughed, while Theta only snorted and muttered, “You’re such a morning grouch.” before getting up.

 

The black haired woman turned around and kissed the Freelancer _“hello”_ when he was a bit more coherent.

 

“Mh…” Alaska sighed into the kiss.

 

They soon parted, this kiss being far from simple, but not triggering anything else.

 

“Did you sleep well?” she asked then, which caused North to smile happily.

 

“More than well.” He muttered, pulling her closer again. He soon braced his weight on his forearm to look over the still lying woman to the fragment.

 

Theta again laughed lowly, before turning his head to North when he spoke to him, “Since when have you been back online?”

 

“Don’t worry, North, I haven’t been eavesdropping.” Theta replied, looking over to North over Ala’s shoulder, “I just came back online and talked a bit with her since you wouldn’t let her go.”

 

This caused the black haired woman to laugh under her breath and shake her head while North huffed in annoyance and looked away from both of them, “So? Is it so bad to want to keep my girlfriend close?”

 

Yeah, it felt good to think of North being her boyfriend and she being his girlfriend. It caused a goofy grin to appear on her lips.

 

“There’s nothing bad about that. I just wanted to say that I could go through your memories still if I wanted to know what happened here.” Theta replied deliberately, the mischievous undertone not lost on either of them.

 

North’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “Don’t you dare.” his voice turned dark.

 

This caused Ala to burst out with laughter with Theta soon after joining in while North looked at both of them totally baffled, “What’s with you guys now? Since when have you been teaming up against me?”

Gasping for air, Ala managed to breathe out, “We’re not teaming up against you.” She took another minute until she continued, “I just told Theta some minutes ago that you would fight tooth and nail to keep him from those memories. It was just hilarious that you confirmed my previous statement so clearly.”

 

It took the still sleepy-looking North some moments to process that information.

 

When he did, he breathed out a ‘Heh!’ before flopping back on the bed, bringing the black haired woman with him who had turned around when she kissed him after waking up.

 

Lying back down, she rested her head on North’s chest, listening to the slow thumping of his heart.

 

Theta appeared on the other side of the bed, sitting with them and chatting a little bit longer before both of the humans decided to take another nap. Theta decided to do the same, logging off soon after.

 

Cuddling closer, the black haired woman let out a contended sigh.

 

She could feel North’s lips press against her forehead, and she leaned up to get rewarded with a real kiss this time.

 

Alaska could feel a hand cupping her face, while the other hand around her waist pulled her closer.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama.... Q_Q

For the next year and a half, they lived together as a happy couple—both taking up missions and gaining a little fortune. Their relationship was loving and overall awesome, although they both couldn’t help bickering from time to time, though they never had such a bad argument as that one before they had officially gotten together.

 

And yeah, the sex was great and awesome too.

 

North being so perceptive often managed to get them to talk about a potentially volatile situation before it could escalate.

 

Alaska felt and hoped that this would last forever, that what she had would last forever since she felt so goddamn happy and freshly enamored even after more than a year since they had gotten their act together and had started dating.

 

During their time together, North noticed that Alaska was a pretty good shot and started to train her in sniping. After about a year, she was as good as him when it came to her skills, but she still was lacking routine. However, it would only be a matter of time until she had enough routine to be equal to North.

 

For their first year anniversary, North had given her a ring and his real name: Andrew. The ring was golden, with three sapphires and three diamonds each embedded on the top of it.

 

Sure, they wouldn’t be able to marry one another since they both lived undercover, but it was the closest they could get.

 

Ala had cried for the first time since they got together when accepting the ring, putting it on her left ring finger. Afterwards, they kissed and ended up in their bedroom. Well, you can imagine the rest.

 

Half a year later was when shit really hit the fan.

 

It was a morning like any other one, except for the fact that it started for the black haired woman with a session on the toilet, retching her guts out and then going to a doctor in one of the better districts. After paying him a generous tip, he then decided to not open a file about her in general, having the appointment without someone ever knowing that she had been at his place.

 

After that, she returned home with a happy smile.

 

Only for it to be wiped off her face when she entered the apartment and saw North gearing up.

 

Alarmed, she closed the door.

 

“What’s up?” she approached North, who looked up and threw her a smile before walking over and kissing her _hello_.

 

“South informed me that she’s in trouble and needs my help getting something done. Looks like she bit off more than she could chew this time.” He replied, reaching for his chest plate and putting it on, screwing the bolts to get the chest piece to stay in place.

 

“Bullshit! It’s a trap!” Alaska couldn’t tell where this anger came from, but she didn’t want North to leave.

 

Not today. Or ever. He should stay with her and not always run after his sister to help her when she only ever treated him coldly and only as a means to get to her goal—not like a brother!

 

“She’s my sister, honey.” He replied, putting on his gloves before walking over and cupping her face in his hands right before he stole another kiss from his girlfriend.

“Yeah, and it’s not the first time she’s gotten you into trouble. Think over it again, hun. You’re running into a trap with your eyes wide open!” Ala almost pleaded, trying to make him reconsider his decision.

 

South only had called in the past when she needed help or a place where she could stay low for a while. Or when she was beaten up and needed someone to patch her back together.

 

“I’m sorry. I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as possible, promise.” He grabbed his helmet from the couch before kissing Ala goodbye, “Goodbye. Take care, okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay.” She said in a defeated tone, responding to the kiss and watching North leave through the door.

 

The moment the door closed, she took off to her office and geared up herself. When wearing her armor, she grabbed the SMGs, stuffing them in the holsters at the small of her back. She then grabbed her Katanas and put them in special transportation sheaths on her back, along with one of the two sniper rifles she fastened on her back as well as her knife which she put in the sheath on the left side of her front chest plate.

 

The little bag she had been carrying laid discarded on the sideboard, Ala not even giving it a second thought and leaving the apartment to follow North.

 

Luckily, it didn’t long for her to track him and he didn’t seem to notice her when she followed him with her camouflage unit on. Sure, she blended in with the surroundings perfectly fine, but when North would listen or pay attention to his surroundings more than he did right now, he would notice her.

 

After half an hour of walking she ended up in a ruin of some sorts, Ala not really caring about that as she stood beside a pillar and tried to listen to the siblings’ conversations. She couldn’t really make out their discussion and didn’t want to hack into their channel as both of them would have noticed that for sure. But the way their body language changed made her be on alert.

 

That was how she witnessed the fight and North’s death.

 

Hiding behind a pillar and sliding down, she bit her lip so hard it drew blood—desperately trying to suppress the whimpers and sobs escaping from her mouth when she saw her love die.

 

Thanks to her camouflage unit nobody would see her, but that didn’t mean that they wouldn’t notice the tears wetting the ground or her sobs.

 

She kept silent in order to avoid the brute from noticing her.

 

She only moved only when that brute North had called Maine disappeared, though not before Maine had torn Theta away from North with the little Fragment wailing and pleading for North to wake up.

 

Alaska felt like her heart was about to explode when she heard that. Theta had become something like their kid that she and North were looking after. Helping him fall asleep, playing games, joking, watching movies, almost everything a real family would do.

 

And now she saw Theta and North being ripped away from her and from each other.

 

Shakily, she got up and staggered over to North’s dead body. She didn’t feel the blood running down her legs when she crouched down beside the lifeless body of her once loving boyfriend, turning his upper body a bit so she could have a proper look at him.

 

He had died protecting his sister, taking a straight shot through his heart. At least he didn’t have to suffer. It was a clean, straight shot and he was probably dead before he even noticed.

 

But it didn’t change the fact that he had been deceived by his own fucking damn sister. Said bitch who had tricked him into protecting her so she would have a better chance of surviving.

 

Alaska felt a grim satisfaction, seeing his sister lying there unmoving.

Only years later she would learn that South back then only had been unconscious, having successfully used her brother as a living meat shield to survive. However, she wouldn’t live much longer as she got killed some time later by Wash with a clean headshot.

 

Leaning down with her vision blurring again, she muttered. “I’m sorry, North. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go. I’m so sorry!” A sob escaped her, while she pressed her helmet against his, her right hand grasping his shoulder tightly.

 

Somewhere in the distance, she heard something approaching fast. It would take about another two or three minutes. Better to get some space between her and the bloody battlefield here, before this person or whatever it was, was here.

 

Ala doubted this person would be friendly towards her, finding her with two bodies of former ex-Special Ops—both of them dead and she having enough ammo with her to kill them ten times at least. The conclusion of her having killed one or both of them would be very logical, although wrong. But the person about to appear wouldn’t know what really happened. They would only act on what they saw, and that said clearly that she had murdered both of them.

 

Pulling down the mesh of the undersuit at North’s neck, she saw the scar and the base of where Theta’s chip had been implanted. North had once shown it to her to explain how this whole connection between Theta and him worked. There was a bit of blood there, showing clearly that Maine had cut open the skin on his neck and ripped out the implant.

 

Soon she found what she was looking for when feeling around a bit more. Carefully, she pulled out the chain that his dog tags were on, taking them off and putting them around her neck.

 

She didn’t care that there was North’s blood on them and that she was staining her body with it. It was her only way of having a piece of him with her besides the ring. Her only way to remember.

 

After that, she leaned her head one last time against her dead boyfriend’s head before getting up and leaving the place—running as fast as she could.

 

Away from this place of horror and of her biggest loss.

 

North wouldn’t have wanted her to get killed because she was grieving for him. He would have wanted her to live.

 

Which is why she hightailed out of this situation and returned home as soon as she could.

 

Sometime during her walk home, she felt the pain in her abdomen starting to get worse the more the adrenaline wore off. But she decided to ignore it, and instead she kept on running although her lungs and legs were burning and desperately screaming for a break.

 

She ran until she reached her apartment, only then releasing the camouflage when she was in front of her apartment.

 

Her armor had been able to handle the lessening amount of blood sometime during her way back, so now she wasn’t leaving a trail of red splotches on the ground up to her apartment.

 

When she had returned home, she hadn’t bothered taking off the armor except for the helmet that she threw carelessly on the floor. She went under the shower with her gear still on, letting the water wash the grime and blood off it and making it white blue and again instead of an ugly mix of smeared brown-red and blue.

 

Slowly, as if in slow motion, the woman started taking off her gear, throwing it on the ground wet as it was, until she was naked under the spray.

 

It was warm, but she couldn’t feel it.

 

Sitting under the spray with her knees drawn to her chest, she cried for hours. She didn’t notice the water turning cold at some point or the hours ticking by. Nor did she notice how the water slowly started to clear until there was almost no blood in it anymore when she was sitting there.

 

She just cried, grieving the loss of the person she had cared the most for in her life.

 

***

 

When she woke up next, she didn’t really know what time it was, but she noticed that she was shivering from the icy cold water still raining down on her.

 

Turning the water off, she slowly got up and reached for the towel to dry herself off.

 

After that, she slowly got dressed and walked over to her room, feeling powerless and tired as though she wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again.

 

When she was lying in her bed, she looked at the dog tags she had acquired some hours ago.

 

_Agent North Dakota_

_Andrew Jackson_

Underneath that was his birthday, which was only about two weeks away. He had almost gotten to twenty-nine-years-old.

 

“You fucker, you didn’t even turn thirty for me to call you old.” She muttered with a sad smile and tears again rolling down her face.

 

She was lying in her bed. It felt too big, too empty without North, no Drew, being with her. Without Theta joining in occasionally.

 

Without North being here and taking her into a tight and loving embrace, which she would have needed the most at this particular moment.

 

Him coming in, lying in bed with her and embracing her like he always would. But he wouldn’t do that anymore in the future.

 

He had died, and Ala was left alone in her apartment, which suddenly felt too big for her alone to ever fill it with happy memories again.

 

Looking up, she could see various photographs put in frames standing on the nightstand. One was with him and Ala shortly after they became a pair, Ala having bribed North into taking a picture together with Theta.

 

Having intertwined their fingers, they made something of a makeshift seat for Theta to sit on while they both had their heads leaned against each other. All three of them, Ala was sure Theta was too although you couldn’t see it, smiled into the camera happily. A mutual sign of happiness.

 

There were others, but she couldn’t look at them right now.

 

Curling up from the pain in her heart and her abdomen, she cried herself to sleep, although she was asking herself how she still had tears after how long she had already cried.

 

***

 

It took about a week for her to find the energy to do more than standing up, walking to the bathroom, or getting something to eat or drink before lying down again. The pain in her abdomen slowly started to subdue, until it stopped completely.

 

When she got up, she wrote her previous CO, saying that she needed to get back on duty.

 

Sure, Hollaway would ask why so suddenly and she told him what happened since he was one of the only people who knew the whole situation to begin with.

 

He wrote her his consolation and said that he would look into what he could do.

 

When he logged off, she snatched her jacket and started walking around in the town aimlessly. She didn’t want to stay in her apartment any longer. There were just too many memories of him and them.

 

When she passed by a Tattoo parlor which looked relatively clean, she entered it without a second thought.

 

Two hours later, she had a tattoo on her back: a memory she would carry under her skin forever.

 

When she came back home she saw that Sergeant Hollaway had written her that she would be rescheduled to a digging site under the sands as a guard and that the ship would come to pick her up along with the other soldiers and archaeologists in three days.

 

She thanked him, saying that she would smash the laptop and all her data and that she would inform him of her progress in another way as soon as possible.

 

He wished her good luck and both said their goodbyes.

 

After that, she left the house with some of her stuff. She threw the laptop on the ground, dragging a strong magnet over it, and throwing it in the biggest river along with some other stuff to hide her tracks.

 

She had transferred some of the pictures and data on it into an external hard disk in her armor before destroying the device.

 

A day later she had a new tenant who even gave her a decent amount of money for the stuff in her apartment that she couldn’t take with her. The rest of it was sold to her contacts.

 

Three days later, she was standing with a packed duffel bag and her weapons on the landing station of New Bangkok and mounting the ship that came to pick her up.

 

She sat down on the last free spot beside an aqua-armored soldier. He looked at her, his visor turning to her fully.

 

“Hey there, I could use some piloting lessons. You want to help me with my joystick? You know, bow-chicka-bow-wow!”

 

She flipped the guy off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to present

“Well…” the black haired woman sighed deeply, looking outside to notice the day starting to draw up, “That’s where you came into play with a heck of a first impression.” She grinned at him, a blend between sad and happy.

Tucker didn’t say a word, only looking at her deep in thought. Well, that wasn’t that surprising given the information he had just received.

Mac decided to give him a break and took a swig of water.

Since the days here were about thirty-six hours a day, they had more time during the night too. Which was how she was able to talk for about six hours or something and the morning was only just about to begin.

It was rare for Tucker not to react to a comment like she had brought to the table, but given their past they had since she met him after losing North she knew that part of him too. The contemplative side that started coming through more prominently recently, when Wash had been captured.

“That’s…” Tucker started, obviously reordering his phrasing before starting anew, “That’s a fucking heavy load you’ve been carrying around during the last few years. At least now I understand why you never fell for my jokes or flipped me off. And why it took you so long to open up again.”

“Yeah,” Mac sighed again, “I’m sorry for being so bad back then. And I always wanted to thank you for not giving up, for being the persistent asshole you’ve always been, and trying to get through to me. It’s just… I wouldn’t have known to thank you earlier without sounding crazy when you didn’t know my background.”

Tucker snorted, “Would have sounded pretty fucked up, yeah.” He replied, “But I’m glad actually that I managed. Not to have you as a chick to bang but as a good friend. You know,” at that, Tucker scratched the back of his head, “I sometimes need someone kicking me in the ass to see the important things again. And that’s what I like about you.” He smiled at her and Mac replied to the smile with the same one of hers.

“And I like the earnestness about you. I am glad you’re so fucking honest with me, no matter what situation we are in. You’re not trying to sugarcoat the situation but you tell it like it is.” At that, Mac suddenly snorted loudly, “That with the kick is something I learned pretty fast.” She explained with a chuckle, thinking of her rather unorthodox ways of waking him up in the morning and how a meeting on the roof of the base went down back then.

Luckily without anyone dead.

Mac was sitting on the roof of the base, needing some time for herself. Because she still was mourning Drew’s death.

This aqua clad idiot kept hitting on her all the time. She remembered him calling himself Tucker.

“Hey babe, you gazing at the stars? You wanna gaze at my stars?” speak of the Devil, said person just slumped down beside her.

“Shut up.” She muttered, looking straight ahead, only acknowledging the male by answering him.

“Wow, what’s grinding your gears?” Tucker had his helmet off, a dark eyebrow arched, “You are worse than Church.”

“I don’t know who this Church guy is nor do I want to know.” She snapped, looking over to him with a furious glance.  
“In case you haven’t noticed, asshole,” she started, jabbing a finger into his armored chest, “I am not the slightest bit interested in you.”

“That could be changed.” The guy replied with a cocky grin, obviously pretty self-opinionated.

Suddenly, Ala felt all the anger deflate when another memory of Drew came up.

“No, that will never be changed.” She then muttered sadly, curling up and looking over to the temple the archaeologists were working at.

This gave the male a pause, for once not making a bad joke and only looking at her as if he wanted to gauge her reaction.

Ala beat him to saying something in a low tone with sadness interlaced throughout it, “I lost my boyfriend about two weeks before I joined the group here. I saw him getting killed.”

Tucker blinked at her. She could see his blue eyes fill up with surprise and understanding dawning on him.

“So that’s why you’ve been rejecting me that much? Because usually, chicks can’t withstand me.” The grin was back on his lips, but Ala could see that he was concerned about her, and that this was more of a well-meant concern instead of trying to hit on her.

“Yeah… It still hurts too much.” Ala replied, sighing deeply, “Don’t get me wrong, Tucker. You’re a nice guy. I like you. But more as a friend instead of something more. So I would prefer we could start from there, okay?”

“That can be done.” This time a smile appeared on his lips, making the woman smile herself. That was until the grin reappeared again, “I’m going to make you want me sometime soon though.”

Ala groaned with a smile, “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

Tucker laughed out loudly at that.

Back in reality, Tucker was sporting his best cocky grin he could muster.

“Glad I could be of help.” He retorted, both of them bursting out laughing.

“But… Something’s been bugging me since you mentioned it.” Tucker then started looking at her sternly, not a bit of the previous mirth left in his eyes.

“What about the tattoo you got? You didn’t say what it was when you told me about it earlier.” he asked then, causing Mac’s smile to derail a bit.

“Well, about that…” she started at length, before making up her mind. “I think it’s better to show it to you.” She ended, starting to unscrew her chest plate and taking it off before reaching back and pulling down the zipper of her undersuit.

“What are you doing?” Tucker asked, a smug grin on his lips.

“Don’t worry, I’m not giving you a boob show.” Mac retorted with a snort, giving him the finger and turning around so she was showing him her back. Tucker made a noise between a disappointed whine and an amused snort before he focused back to the task at hand.

After Mac had turned around, she pulled the mesh of her undersuit aside to reveal the tattoo written in between her shoulders in curvy writing and black ink.

Tucker read it out loud,

\--- to 26.09.2xxx Andrew  
11.07.2xxx to 26.09.2xxx Sasha

“The birthday of this Andrew is shot.” Tucker remarked.

The black haired woman knew that herself. The scars of the torn out arm had caused North’s birthday to disappear. She was lucky that the rest still was okay.

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed heavily. “Andrew is North by the way.”

Tucker nodded.

“Figured that much.” He muttered, again reading the tattoo before asking, “Wait a second, why do you have two boys name on your back?” it took a second for Mac again to put on the undersuit properly and grab her chest piece while turning around when it hit him.

“No way. No fucking way! You had a kid?!” his voice almost snapped in disbelief.

Mac pulled a face from his loud voice and shook her head, “No, I didn’t.”

“But the name…” Tucker began, stopping in the middle when he didn’t know how to end the sentence without sounding like an idiot.

“I was approximately into the eleventh week of my pregnancy when I lost him. I guess it was the stress of Drew’s death.” She explained, putting on the chest piece and screwing it in place before pulling out a picture of an ultrasonography she did the day North and Sasha died and gave it to Tucker.

“How did you know that it’s a boy?” Tucker regarded the picture as if he wanted to find it out by himself before looking back up again, “Did North know?” Tucker looked at the picture again and saw something akin to a jelly baby on it.

“I just knew it would be a boy. Besides, Sasha is an unisex name in some parts of Europe.” She explained, Tucker nodding along with that explanation to the choice of the name.

Ala continued, tapping a finger against her armor. “Why I knew it would have been a boy, I don’t know, let’s call it motherly instinct.” Mac shrugged her shoulders, to which Tucker nodded, absolutely being able to understand this explanation for having had Junior himself.

“And about North knowing… No, he didn’t. I learned it the day they died. I didn’t have time to tell him since he left shortly after I returned home.” Mac explained sadly, looking into the remnants of the fire.

Tucker threw her a curious glance at that, prompting her to continue. She drew a shuddering breath, “I had a pretty bad bronchitis about three months before North died. He went to a medic in the Chinese district to get something herbal for me to lessen the coughing and the fever. It helped pretty well, but it looked like some of the herbs nullified the effect of my contraception syringe I have to give myself every three months. I guess that’s when it happened. So it was kinda unplanned, but when I knew, I knew I wanted to keep the baby and raise him.”

“You even already had a name, hmm?”

Mac looked down at her hands with a sad smile, “Yeah… I actually did.” She then answered sadly, sighing again.

It was quiet for a moment before Tucker again spoke up, “I… shit… I don’t know what to say to that aside from me being damn sorry about what happened to you.”

He gave her back the picture she placed in a hermetic storage compartment on the left side of her chest plate, closest to her heart.

“Have you… I mean…” Tucker started, again searching for the right words and obviously deciding to go straight for it, “Have you been at a doctor to get that checked out?”

The black haired woman knew that Tucker was talking about the miscarriage she had and the pain in her lower abdomen.

She shook her head, “I didn’t have time. Not even two weeks after shit went down, I was on the same ship as you to be shipped to the digging site. When should I have been able to check it out with no medic around?” she asked with a flat smile.

“Fair point.” Tucker replied. He sighed again. “Just do me a favor and get it checked over by one of the medics here soon, okay? Looking back over the years we spent together, I know that you often felt pain and I doubt that it’s okay.”

Tucker was pretty observant, something that Mac had noticed already years ago.

“I’m used to it.” Mac waved him off, but her adopted brother only huffed in annoyance.

“Quit fucking around. I haven’t said you should go when you’re not used to it or when you feel like it. I said get it checked out since I don’t want you breaking down in a fight.” His frown disappeared, his face softening, “Just do me that favor, okay, sis?”

It was rare for them to call each other by nicknames like sis or brother. They really were like siblings. Not related by blood, but siblings nonetheless, and they sometimes even called each other that, although their icy blue eyes were the only thing they had in common. Although Tucker’s eye color went more into an aqua shade just like his armor, while Mac’s were icy blue like an ice cube or a clear bright sea.

Mac then sighed, “Okay, I will do it. Promise.” She intended on keeping that promise, but she would do it when there wasn’t the safety of a whole planet at stake.

This promise, however, seemed to calm Tucker since they both knew that Mac would stick to her word. If she promised something, she would stick to that.

It was quiet for some time before Tucker suddenly snorted, “I guess North’s death was the reason why you went so hard on Wash in Valhalla when things calmed down a bit after all of that shit went down?”

Mac shortly blinked at him before starting to laugh out loud, “You mean me punching him? Yeah, that was because of that. I wanted to try out my left hook anyways, so it came quite in handy.”

“I never heard the complete story though. I only joined in when Wash already was down and about to go K.O.” Tucker remarked with a laugh, Mac snorting at that.

“Okay then…” she started, taking a deep breath, “You know that I lost my left arm during the fight against the Meta.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“How could I forget that..” Tucker muttered, shuddering at the memory of how Mac had lost her arm in such a cruel way.

“Don’t worry about it, Tucker. I’m fine. I’m okay, and you’re okay.” She offered, Tucker taking some moments to breathe deeply and then nod.  
“Okay, back to the story. Wash often used to show up during my time when I was bound to the bed. I was out of it mostly, so I didn’t really have the time to put two and two together. Besides, how high are the chances of meeting another one of the Freelancers after the project went down and the majority of them was killed?”

“Un-fucking-realistic.” Tucker replied, and Mac nodded.

“Yepp.” Popping the p for emphasis, “In any case. When I was feeling better, I walked up to him. By the time I still was adapting to my arm, I learned from Donut that this Wash indeed was the Washington from Freelancer that North had told me about. Nothing bad as it is.” Mac explained.

“But he had something to do with the death of North. I suspect it’s not because of Maine.”

“You’re quite sharp.” She threw him an acknowledging grin to which Tucker beamed with joy and also blushed a bit at the praise.

“In any case. Some weeks after I was back on duty, I was talking with Wash outside, saying that I knew some of his Freelancer fellows, but didn’t clarify which ones. I asked him what he did after the project went down.” Mac explained, making a motion with her hand to illustrate her narration, “Wash then replied that he was responsible for collecting the dog tags, armor enhancements, and AIs of the fallen soldiers.”

“Like with North and CT.” Tucker concluded.

Mac nodded.

“Yes, exactly. I don’t know how we got on this subject anymore, but he suddenly said, that he still remembered that he couldn’t find North’s dog tags back then. He had his armor enhancement, but never could find his dog tags since someone seemed to have taken them.” The black haired woman explained, “You know that, no matter how shitty your Platoon is, you never take off your dog tags. Not when the war is on a stellar extension and not on a planetary one.”

Tucker nodded at that. He often hated the Sim-Troopers, but in the end, he was a part of them and would never take off his dog tags showing that he was part of said troopers.

“Well, that was when I saw red and punched him right in the face. Thanks to his helmet in between, he only got a black eye and not a broken skull. I didn’t really hold back in my anger.” Mac chuckled at that, “When he recovered from his shock halfway, I tore North’s dog tags off my neck and threw them in his face, saying something along the lines of ‘If you want those fucking dog tags, then fucking have them!’”

Tucker laughed lowly, “That was when I joined you guys and saw you stomping away and Wash lying on the ground shortly before passing out. By the way, he had a middle-heavy concussion.”

Mac joined in on his laugh, “Exactly. Later on, however, when I calmed down, Wash came to me and I apologized. He then explained the whole situation, giving me back the dog tags and saying that he wasn’t doing that anymore.” She exhaled deeply before adding, “He said that I should keep them, since they are better off with me and that he thought that they represented a piece of memory for me.” She nodded along with Wash’s statement back then, “That was when I told him my story I had with North, just as I told you before.”

“That was why you became so close suddenly, huh?” Tucker stretched his legs which had obviously fallen asleep due to him sitting in the same position for hours.

“Yep.” The black haired woman confirmed, before starting to grin mischievously as she suddenly noticed something, “Wait, have you been jealous about us being getting so close back then?”

“I haven’t.” Tucker muttered, turning his head away and crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
This caused Mac to laugh about his clear as day reaction about absolutely-not-having-been-jealous-back-then. It wasn’t really visible due to his dark complexion, but Mac just fucking knew that he was blushing furiously.

“So you’ve been whipped for quite a while then, huh?” the woman asked after she calmed down from her laughing fit.

This time, Tucker exhaled, “I… don’t know. Back then I mostly would have loved to kill Wash because he was, and still is, such a fucking hard-ass. But back then, when you were recovering, I started seeing another side of him.”

Tucker shrugged, somewhat lost, with his shoulders, “When he would shoot up shouting and crying from nightmares, all sweaty and anxious as fuck. Fuck, he even almost shot me once when he noticed me sitting beside him and trying to calm him down or wake him up.” Tucker said the last part with an unamused laugh.

Mac smiled at that. “I can see that. He has gone through a lot, after all.”

“Hmm.” Tucker replied, staring into the fire and lost in his thoughts.

After another long while of talking, Tucker got up, saying that he would have to return for breakfast and that he would have to be there to train the Lieutenants.

Since they had been separated from Wash, Donut, and Sarge, Tucker had grown into a formidable soldier and leader. Mac was proud of him.

So after another empathic plea from Tucker for her to go to a medic soon, he left, saying that he would return in two days because he wanted to sleep tonight to take out Wash on their date tomorrow and he needed to be well rested for that.

At least, he didn’t want to fall asleep during a blow job.

Mac snorted at that, wishing him good luck and that she wanted some updates soon as to how it went.

When Tucker was gone, he reactivated the tracker somewhere down the hill, close to another cave, and contacted Mac with a short text over his HUD that he was back online.

Mac herself got up after shooting him a text back that she was glad he made it back safe and sound. She went to go get some berries, nuts, and fresh water for herself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tucker and Wash spend their day off together and shit happens - That's probably the most accurate description for that XD

Walking back to the base to be back in time for breakfast, Tucker was pondering over what he had just learned concerning all of the shit Mac that had to go through: like the whole shit-fest of Elbon, the shit with North, and all the other fucking crap…

 

Tucker let out a heavy sigh. Compared to her fate, his own seemed much more bearable. Okay, it wasn’t that common that you got knocked up by a fucking alien and become a dad-mom to a baby alien. But he wouldn’t change the past now. Not even for a million dollars.

 

Junior was the best thing which could have happened to him in the past and he would do everything he could to keep it that way!

 

Wash had to go through a lot of shit too, so maybe Tucker’s fate was one of those of the Blood Gulch Crew who had gotten better off when he thought about it some more.

 

There was Grif and Simmons with their partial body swap, there was Wash who had to go through a lot of shit in Freelancer, there was Church being an AI, and Caboose being somewhat not completely there.

 

There was Donut, who had gotten shot and was somewhat nuts anyway.

 

And Mac, of course, for a variety of reasons.

 

So yeah, aside from Sarge and maybe Caboose, he didn’t have such a bad past actually.

 

Although he would have loved to cut out the baby right away when he had learned from Doc that he was pregnant, he decided against it in the end. And he was fucking glad he had.

 

Sure it was rather painful for him until the drugs had kicked in, but afterwards he didn’t realize much of it anymore as Doc had started cutting open his abdomen to give Junior an easier exit without the alien destroying anything vital inside the aqua armored soldier.

 

When he came to some hours later, Junior was lying beside him and sleeping soundly, obviously as tired from the birth as Tucker was.

 

Seeing the boy, he was happy he had decided against an abortion by his own knife.

 

Stumbling over a rock, the soldier cursed under his breath. It would be better to focus on climbing back down. Seriously, why did Mac have to climb up so far in such a rough area?!

 

Passing the entrance of another cave, he reactivated his helmet’s tracker. If anyone asked, he could say that he lost track of time when he was exploring the cave.

 

Shortly, he shot a message to Mac.

_I’m back online._

 

His HUD blinked seconds later, indicating an incoming message from Mac.

_Good. Take care out there and don’t grind the Lieutenants too much._

 

Tucker couldn’t help but replying in his trademark fashion to that perfect setup.

_Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!_

 

He laughed when he got the answer from Mac. He could see her rolling her eyes but laughing at his sexual joke.

_Jerk!_

 

Neither of them spoke about it, but it was clear that Mac trusted him and didn’t want him to brag about what he had just been told. And Tucker didn’t want her to mistrust him after all they went through by running his mouth. He would only talk to Wash about it, since he knew about her past too.

 

Speaking of Wash… That brought a question to his mind, and he immediately worded it out in a text to Mac.

_Does Wash know about Sasha?_

Tucker preferred using the name instead of the word pregnancy in case anyone would read their conversation later. They would think they were talking about one of the orphans in the orphanage that Mac would visit regularly to spend some time with the kids there.

 

Mac’s answer was short.

_No._

 

It was quiet for a moment, then another text came in, as if written with a huge sigh.

_Knowing you, you can’t keep your trap shut on that… So okay, you can tell him. But ONLY him. And the rest will NOT learn about that. Got me?_

 

Tucker groaned.

_Yeah, yeah, untwist your panties, I’m not going to broadcast that. I just wanted to tell Wash since he knows about your past too._

 

The answer was a stylized middle finger constructed out of the regular alphabet and signs available in their message board.

 

Whoever set up the messaging system hadn’t thought about putting in some emojis. Jerk…

 

Arriving at the base, he directly went to the mess hall, deciding to meet the guys there since everyone would be there by this time now and eating food. Considering that it was the first meal of the day, he should be there preferably earlier than Grif to get some food before that fat-ass could scarf down everything.

 

Entering, he could see that there were different figures already sitting, but they were all of the previous Project Freelancer: York, North, and Wash. Carolina probably already left and was about to set up the daily missions and beginning to group soldiers together for that.

 

Sighing, he got a tray and sat down beside Wash with a mumbled “Morning!”

 

Detaching his helmet, he decided to start eating to prevent his stupid mouth from babbling something out that he had promised not to.

 

“You look like you had a rough night.” North said, immediately picking up on Tucker’s tired face.

 

Although he was tired, he couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his features, “Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

 

Wash groaned beside him, elbowing the dark-skinned man in his ribs. This earned the steel and yellow Freelancer a one-finger-salute.

 

“Ah, young love.” York cooed, a huge grin on his face and making fake dreamy eyes while North looked at them with a small smile.

 

Tucker couldn’t help but feel like this smile held something rueful in it. Maybe that was because of Mac. He could try to find that out sometime later.

 

Given the fact that York and North hadn’t been conscious for the last ten years, it was highly likely that the whole thing with Mac, or he knew her as Ala, felt like only some days ago for him.

 

Knowing that ten years are over but your memory provides information as if it had happened merely days ago must be difficult. Tucker could imagine that North was asking himself if Mac was still alive, if she was doing well and if she still remembered him. He never went through that, but it would be a logical conclusion to think that after such a huge event.

 

Tucker almost felt bad that he couldn’t tell North that Mac was close by and doing well, and that she still was thinking about him.

 

Shoveling another forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth, he watched how Wash, York, and North bickered about something. He could feel the amicable connection they shared, knowing from Mac that they used to sit together like that in the project’s mess hall back then.

 

Emptying his tray and seeing how the other Reds and Blues had started entering the mess hall, he got up and muttered something about getting ready.

 

This caused Wash to raise an eyebrow at him in confusion.

 

“Training starts in three hours at the earliest. You’re up way too early.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Tucker muttered, not in the mood for a banter between him and Wash and decided to let the guys catch up themselves.

 

Tucker, for his part, needed some time alone to do some training and get his head clear to train the Lieutenants… Otherwise they wouldn’t stop harassing him if he appeared to be distracted.

 

Passing by the war room in which he was sure he could hear Kimball and Doyle arguing once again, he spontaneously decided to inform Kimball about Mac’s longer stay in the wild.

 

Entering the room, he was almost shell-shocked to notice that it was deadly silent in there.

 

Right, Tucker suddenly remembered. Doyle had died almost three weeks ago. They hadn’t even had the time to plan a proper funeral up until now…

 

Coughing, he got Kimball’s attention.  She had been brooding over some reports.

 

She looked up when she noticed Tucker standing in the room.

 

The aqua clad soldier decided to play the nonplussed asshole and spoke up casually, even though Kimball’s eyes could bore holes into his skull.

 

“Mac decided to stay hidden a little bit longer. She needs some time to sort shit out.” He didn’t say what shit or why, but he was sure that the leader was smart enough to find out herself that her strange behavior was stemming from the appearance of their two new arrivals.

 

Kimball grumbled, “She’s scheduled to train the Lieutenants in her class sniping again.”

 

“Yeah, about that…” Tucker scratched the back of his head, trying to come up with a solution just then, “I was told that North Dakota is a pretty good sniper. Maybe another teacher could help loosen the Lieutenants up and get them to learn something they haven’t been taught yet by Mac, or at least not in a different kind of way. You know what I mean?”

 

This caused Kimball to perk up a bit, “I already heard about that too and since Wash decided to vouch for them… And he as well as Agent Carolina seem to know them well, I decided to give them some credits in advance to which they will have to live up to.”

 

“Uh, wow, that’s great. I am sure those two won’t betray you like others did.” With the betrayal of Felix fresh in mind, Tucker was pretty impressed, that Kimball trusted these two so easily.

 

Possibly because Carolina and Wash knew them and given what they already did for Chorus, she seemed to have decided to trust these two assholes too.

 

Carolina had asked them about special Freelancer knowledge, such as their codenames. York was Foxtrot 12 and North was Tango 16. Why the Director had chosen those names was beyond Tucker’s understanding. They already wore codenames and had been given yet _another_ codename for their codename.

 

Tucker had thought about that when trekking up to Mac, reaching the conclusion that this just showed _how_ fucking paranoid the Director had been.

 

There were also other questions, like what their activation codes for the project were so that nobody could gain access to their stuff.

 

There were also other questions, but Tucker didn’t listen to them afterwards because they were way too long of codes to ever know. Seriously, he would have trouble knowing only one correctly, but Carolina obviously knew all the codes for every Freelancer.

 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

 

He was still standing in the war room, Kimball looking at him expectantly, “Is there something else, Captain Tucker?” She then asked, looking obviously a tad annoyed with Tucker for spacing off.

 

“Uh, no, I just wanted to inform you about Mac and stuff. She is having some trouble, so I’d prefer her being able to take that time out to get that sorted out.”

 

Kimball looked at him, prompting him to continue, but Tucker decided against telling any details.

 

“I don’t want to abuse her trust. Let’s just say she had quite a bit of a rough past and some days ago something happened what made all these memories come back up again when she almost got hit by a ricochet. One of her buddies in Elbon died like that.”

 

Tucker knew that Kimball knew about her past with Elbon, but not about her past with North. This little lie would have to do the trick.

 

“Okay, thank you, Captain Tucker.” Tucker nodded at that, deciding to take his leave now before he got into another awkward situation.

 

The door wasn’t even shut when he heard Kimball going back to her papers again. Great.

 

Tucker groaned. He only hoped she would be able to lead Chorus properly when she was brooding over plans all the time.

 

Putting his helmet back on, he decided to use the remaining two hours for some work out.

 

He would start with some jogging, going on to squats, crunches and all the shit Wash had taught him and then after that do another jogging unit, this time longer.

 

His plan however, flew out the window the moment he noticed a steel and yellow armored figure falling in jog beside him.

 

He didn’t even look when he accepted the request to open a private channel between him and Wash.

 

“You looked distracted in the mess hall.” Wash stated, casually jogging beside Tucker.

 

“Yeah, got a load of information when I was with Mac last night.” Tucker stated, looking ahead to not land face first on the ground because he hadn’t seen a stone in his way. …Which wouldn’t be the first time this happened, but all the other times he had been occupied by checking Wash out. Well, a man had to set priorities, thank you very much!

 

“I assume she told you about her past?” Wash didn’t even break a sweat while Tucker was already starting to feel how his body temperature started to rise.

 

“Yeah, she told me.” Tucker muttered a bit sullenly.

 

“Hey, Tucker.” With that, said man looked over to see Wash looking directly back at him, “She didn’t mean it ill by not telling you. I only happened to know because I was in the same project. Mac wouldn’t have told me otherwise. Guess she never told you because she never thought that North would ever show back up again.”

 

“Yeah, I know. Still it hurts a bit since she knows quite a lot about me, but I obviously didn’t know as much about her.” The sullen expression was still there, although he could understand his adopted sister’s reasoning.

 

“That explains why you looked so distracted and didn’t answer my questions.” Wash stated casually, still keeping up with him.

 

“Exactly. Wait… You asked me something?” Tucker then asked, suddenly picking up on Wash’s statement.

 

“Yeah, I asked you three or four times if you’re okay, but you just stared at your scrambled eggs like you wanted to fry them with your glare.” Wash’s tone definitely was amused.

 

“Uh sorry… Guess I didn’t hear that.” Tucker muttered, earning a hum of approval from Wash.

 

Luckily, he didn’t decide on pressing the subject further.

 

After another two or three rounds, Tucker broke the silence again, “Hey, Wash.”

 

“Yeah, Tucker?” Wash still sounded so fucking relaxed, not even a bit out of breath!

 

“We have our day off tomorrow and I thought we could go somewhere together?” He had refrained from asking the Lieutenants. They never would let him live that down if they caught him skating with Wash. There were other possibilities. And he had one in mind.

 

“Sure, why not?” Wash agreed, although Tucker could hear his voice going up a tad.

 

A huge grin exploded on Tucker’s face.

 

“Neat!” he laughed loudly, “We can meet up at the old mall downtown at two in the afternoon?”

 

“Sure…” Wash trailed off, sounding embarrassed as Tucker could feel his cheeks warm up. He wasn’t quite sure that Wash understood that he meant this as a date, but they would go out together and he would fucking enjoy their time together.

 

When they stopped after their warm up, Wash obviously wanted to continue, but Tucker didn’t move. This caused Wash to look at him questioningly.

 

Sure they both wore armor and shit, but after living together for so long, you learn to read the body language of the other, even with their armors on.

 

“Sorry, Wash.” Tucker began after that, which caused the Freelancer to look even more confused, “I really appreciate you being here with me, so please don’t get me wrong.”

 

 _Now_ Wash was completely confused. Tucker could understand that he was confused. The aqua armored soldier practically never used the word ‘please’ when talking, “But… Is it possible for me to do the workout alone today? I need to get my head clear. We can talk today after training, but I first need to get stuff sorted out for myself.”

 

Tucker couldn’t put a finger on it, but Wash looked a bit relieved and disappointed at the same moment, “Yeah, okay, no problem.”

 

Just when the Freelancer wanted to turn and walk away, Tucker surged forward and grabbed his arm, “You’re really okay with that?”

 

“Yeah I am, Tucker.” With that, Wash turned around and Tucker heard the small smile in his voice.

 

“Look, let’s talk about this in the evening. I’d like us both to be on the same page in regards to that.”

 

Wash nodded at that suggestion from Tucker, “And we can do some sparring tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?” This brought a smile to his voice.

 

And Tucker couldn’t help but smile himself at the smile he heard in Wash’s voice at this idea, “That would be a great idea.” He replied then.

 

After another moment Wash spoke up again, “You mind?” he asked, pointing down to Tucker’s hand still tightly grasping his wrist.

 

“Oh, sorry.” Tucker muttered, happy for the helmet concealing his blush, “I just… felt like you took my request the wrong way. “

 

“I am okay, Tucker, really.” There was a warm smile in his words, “I know it’s better to let you train so you can get your head clear.”

 

“Uh, yeah…” Tucker muttered, “See you in the evening?” he added with a hopeful glance.

 

“Yeah, see you then.” Wash muttered, giving Tucker a reassuring squeeze to his shoulder and left with that.

 

Tucker decided to go back to his training before his thoughts could derail too much at the conversation he and Wash just had.

 

***

 

Later that day, in the evening to be accurate, Tucker was freshly showered and meandered over to Wash’s room. The Freelancer was sitting in there, obviously freshly showered too and waiting for Tucker to appear.

 

When the dark-skinned male entered, the Freelancer looked up with a smile playing around the corners of his mouth. Tucker closed the door and decided to take a seat beside the blond male. He felt somewhat nervous all of a sudden.

 

Sure he came to talk about Mac, but he was well aware of them being alone here in the room.

 

“Um… You wanted to talk about Mac?” Wash asked, a bit insecurely which gave Tucker a start.

 

“Yeah, as you know, she told me about her past with North.” The dark-skinned man replied, looking over to Wash with a serious glint in his eyes, “I wanted to ask you if you could tell me what you know about her past with North?”

 

Wash first looked contemplative, before starting to tell him what he knew about the past of their shared friend.

 

When Wash finished, Tucker still was looking in his direction, but he effectively stared to a point somewhere beside Wash’s head, deep in thought.

 

“Yeah, that’s about it.” Wash then stated, giving Tucker another start.

 

He sighed deeply, “Yeah, I heard about the same as you from her, except for the fact that she kept something to herself that I learned yesterday.” Tucker started explaining.

 

“She didn’t tell you that she has a Tattoo on her back.” Wash’s eyes got a curious glint in them at that bit of information, “It’s a tattoo of North’s birthday and day of death. Underneath that is another name with a birthday and a day of death.” Tucker sighed deeply, “It’s the name of a boy. Sasha.”

 

Wash looked at him with incomprehension in his eyes, “She was pregnant, Wash. She would have become a mom if she hadn’t lost the kid from the stress of North’s dead.”

 

It was silent for a moment, before Wash asked with an incredulous pitch in his voice, although speaking lowly, “Wait… Mac and North would have become parents?”

 

Tucker sighed and nodded at that, “Yeah… But North doesn’t know.” Tucker explained, a somewhat sad expression appearing on his face, “Mac learned about it the day North died. She never had the possibility to tell him.”

 

There was a heavy silence settling in between the two of them.

 

“That means that Mac not only lost North on this day, but also their child?”

 

“Yeah.” Muttered Tucker, feeling somewhat shocked still at the information himself.

 

“Well, that explains the strange pattern of blood I found on the ground beside North.” Wash muttered, rubbing his hands over his face.

 

“She said something about having been bleeding.” Tucker muttered in return.

 

Wash only nodded, staring at his hands.

 

After that, they started discussing more and more subjects revolving around Mac, North, and their past—deciding to respect Mac’s request to stay quiet towards North, but they wouldn’t watch this drama unfold forever.

 

They would have to talk to the black-haired woman when she was back and things had settled down a bit.

 

They were on the same page about the fact that Mac would have to tell North at some point.

 

When the curfew was about to come, Tucker got up, confirming the sparring match for eight in the morning and their date at two. Wash confirmed both of them with a smile starting to spread over his face.

 

“Good night, Wash.” Tucker muttered with a smile on his own lips.

 

“Good night, Tucker.” Wash replied, sporting the same grin.

 

***

 

The next morning passed by, both of them meeting up for sparring without their armors around eight.

 

Neither of them got larger blows in, but Wash complimented the dark-skinned man at the end of the

session, after about two hours of sparring, “You’ve increased your skills quite a bit. I’m impressed,

Captain Tucker.”

 

“I had a good teacher.” Tucker replied with a huge grin, which made Wash cough awkwardly.

 

“So I will go and take a shower before grabbing something to eat.” Wash began after another awkward

silence, “We will meet up at two at the old mall downtown like you said yesterday?”

 

“Yeah, sure! See you there! Oh, and, Wash?” Said Freelancer turned back around as he was already

 

leaving, having a towel draped over his shoulders, “Put on some civilian clothes. No armor on our day

off!” Tucker put up his fake enthusiasm, trying to cover up the slight disappointment of having to part

with Wash.

 

The blond nodded before turning and leaving the training room.

 

But Tucker could understand that he would only drive Wash away if he was too persistent about being

around the Freelancer all the time.

 

***

 

Sometime later, Tucker was already waiting impatiently in front of the old mall, wearing blue jeans and

a teal tank top. He was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, waiting for the blond to appear.

 

He didn’t know how often, but he was sure to have checked the clock at least for a thousand times up until now.

 

He had two skateboards with him, the only thing missing now was Wash.

 

Who just in this moment showed up around a corner, looking around as if he was searching for

something.

 

“Hey, Wash, over here!” Tucker lifted a hand, waving the Freelancer over.

 

Wash’s posture got a bit more relaxed and a smile appeared on his face when he spotted Tucker.

 

“Found you.” Wash muttered a bit awkwardly when he arrived at where Tucker was, noticing the skateboards soon after, “You brought these?” Anticipation lit up in his steel grey eyes.

 

A grin exploded on the aqua wearing man, “Yeah, I was told that you’re quite good at skating, and so

am I, so I thought we could check out the old mall and skate around a bit.”

 

“Just don’t whine afterwards when I beat you at skating.” Wash quipped.

 

“I’ll give that comment right back at you, old man.” Tucker retorted with a grin, snatching a skateboard

and entering the hall with Wash hot on his heels with the other skateboard in his hands.

 

They were starting on the ground floor, Tucker soon using his slight advance to run up a staircase to

the first story with his skateboard. When he heard the wheels of Wash’s skateboard hit the floor behind him, he was just jumping up on a bench, sliding along the lower edge where the legs of people

sitting usually would be.

 

Wash was past him by now, using a low handrail around a place where a tree had been standing

years ago for his slide, ending it with little trick before speeding up again.

 

“What was that about you going to win?” Wash asked, jumping over a pillar that had fallen down, the board going through underneath it and the Freelancer landing with great accuracy.

 

“Just you wait, I’m going to hand you your ass. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” Tucker tried doing the same, only

barely managing to stay on the skateboard with a lot of flailing.

 

The Freelancer only laughed at that, an open and wholehearted laugh Tucker rarely heard that from the

Freelancer and it warmed his heart.

 

Well, he could lose the skating battle now, Tucker thought, sliding down an old and broken escalator,

making a pirouette at the end before landing smoothly. The dark-skinned man was surprised that it worked so well given that he had tried it for the first time just then.

 

Well, it seems like love was really making people grow wings and take things much easier than usual.

 

Wash laughed behind him loudly, before clapping his hands and complimenting Tucker on the trick.

 

The aqua clad soldier beamed at his crush, although his trick looked so old the moment Wash started

his, sliding down on the rear tip of the skateboard, putting in a full turn in the middle and another rather

complicated-looking trick at the end when hopping off the handrail of the escalator.

 

Tucker huffed in mock annoyance, “Showoff!”

 

Wash grinned at that. “I thought you knew I can skate?”

 

“I knew you can skate, but I never knew what a showoff you are about it!” Tucker retorted,

deciding to again make a tour through the mall while performing some stunts on the playground and trying to beat Wash with his skating.

 

Some hours later, and it was already around dinner time. Tucker had to admit defeat in skating since Wash only got better the longer he skated and the better he got the hang of it again. They were both sitting on the swings of a rather large indoor playground, talking and swinging.

 

That was when Tucker, in hindsight it was probably both the worst and best idea he could ever have had, had the idea to make a little jumping contest.

 

“Wash, you know the game where kids swing and try to jump as high as possible from the swings?”

 

“I remember that, but I haven’t really played it since I was a kid.” Wash replied, already starting to

swing a bit faster.

 

“The one of us who jumps the highest gets a blowjob!” Tucker yelled, jumping off the swing and landing smoothly with Wash shortly after landing beside him.

 

They did that for several more times until something went horribly wrong.

 

When Wash tried to jump off the swing another time, his grey shirt got caught up in one of the chains where the swings were fixed on.

 

It ripped, throwing the Freelancer out of balance midflight.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wash is high as bedrock and Tucker is about to freak out and ask his sister for help.

“I am impressed,” The medic looked straight at the Freelancer who was lying on a cot in one of the infirmary rooms, “You jumped off a swing and managed to break your right wrist and your right ankle by falling.”

 

Wash growled at that, “Better ask the person whose idiotic idea that was in the first place.”

 

His eyes wandered over to Tucker.

 

“Hey, I didn’t make you fall from the swing!” he retorted, holding up his hands in self-defense.

 

Wash snorted at that again, crossing his arms as best as he could with his broken wrist.

 

Before Washington was able to form a snarky reply, the door opened and Emily Grey came in with a clipboard in her hands.

 

“Oh, Agent Washington, falling off a swing! Let’s see your injuries.” She looked down at the clipboard, flipping through some pages before continuing. “Well, it looks like you have to take care for the next few weeks.” She explained.

 

She then took out a packet of pills from her doctor’s coat, “These are painkillers and they will help your body increase its natural healing. You are going to take them regularly or I am going to force them down your throat, you got me? Oh, I’d love to psychoanalyze that!” she chirped happily, Wash for once deciding to comply to the doctor’s orders.

 

“And you.” She turned around to Tucker who felt his heart sink, “I think you’re going to take care of him until he’s well again.” She stated cheerily, leaving soon after that and with both of the soldiers in awkward silence.

 

When the medic came back and cleared Wash to leave, they made their way back to Wash’s room with Tucker trying to brace Wash as easily as possible without making it awkward for the both of them.

 

***

 

It was already turning to night when there was a beeping sound coming from Mac’s helmet. Then another. And another.

 

Grumbling, the black-haired woman picked up the helmet and read the messages.

 

Three unread messages.

 

What the fuck?

 

Putting on the helmet that she hadn’t been wearing despite having been wearing the rest of her armor at the time, she read the messages

 

They were all from Tucker.

 

First message: _Mac, you there?_

 

Second message: _Seriously, come on, reply!_

 

Third message: _I’m in serious trouble here. Reply, please! Come on, sis, please!_

 

With a snort, she opened a private channel between herself and Tucker and immediately heard an extremely distressed Tucker.

 

“Mac, finally! I need your help! I’m in serious shit here!”

 

“Cool it, Tucker, what’s the matter?” she asked calmly, trying to calm Tucker down instead of sending him into another frenzy.

 

“Wash is freaking out on me here, and I mean it!”

 

There was a meowing sound in the background.

 

“You have a cat with you?” Mac asked, a bit surprised at the sound.

 

“A cat named Wash!” Tucker whined.

 

Mac snorted loudly at that, “Wash thinks he’s a fucking cat?”

 

“Fuck yeah!” This time the whine wasn’t a whine he usually would sport. It was one of real distress, “I think he is having fucking hallucinations!”

 

It was her second day into her volunteered exile and she wasn’t really ready to go back to base yet, but she had to at some point. So she might as well do it now since Tucker needed her.

 

She heaved a sigh.

 

“Okay, Tucker. Give me thirty minutes.”

 

“You’re coming down? What about…” Tucker broke off, but they knew who he meant.

 

“I’m a grown up, I am going to handle it. We’re not in high school anymore.” She stated simply, Tucker making another noise.

 

“Okay, just don’t overdo it.” Tucker replied after a while.

 

“I won’t. I will be okay. Don’t worry. First we need to get Wash sobered up. By the way… you haven’t seen York around, have you?”

 

Mac was already out of the cave and marching down the hill.

 

“No, why?” Tucker asked, a bit surprised.

 

“Good.” Mac replied to that before adding, “He can be quite an asshole when someone’s as bad off like Wash is. He’s the one who will make videos and stuff when others are drunk.”

 

“I guess it’s better that I haven’t seen him yet then.” Tucker replied with a relieved sigh.

 

Mac could understand that. He was about the same as York, actually, when it came to making videos when someone was drunk and shit. But this time it involved Tucker’s crush. Mac would even go as far to say that he was in love with the Freelancer.

 

Anyway since this here was Tucker’s crush, he wouldn’t do such things like make a video when Wash was so bad off. That was a line he would never cross. That’s something that was taboo for him when it came to Wash.

 

Walking down the hill, Mac remembered the night she had found Tucker some days after Wash, Sarge, Lopez, and Donut had been separated from the others.

 

_It was already night outside and far after curfew. Mac was walking back from the war room. She had been called on short notice and thus was only wearing her civvies._

_Arriving at the floor that the Reds and Blues were living on, she soon saw a figure on the floor. There were three empty rooms, and there was someone sitting in front of the one marked with “Washington.”_

_Mac remembered very well that Tucker threw a fit when Kimball denied the four missing people their rooms. After he was raging for another ten or twenty minutes, Kimball had finally agreed, Mac needing another twenty minutes to calm the aqua-wearing soldier down._

_Now coming up to him, she could see Tucker sitting there in front of Wash’s door. His forehead was leaning against the door, in-between his fists which were pressed against the door too._

_She could hear sobs coming from him, as well as see tears rolling down his face._

_He looked so miserable._

_Mac remembered how she had felt when she had lost Drew. How devastated she had been, how sad, and how she had felt like the world would break apart._

_She could feel Tucker being in the same phase now. He might not have admitted it so far, but she knew that he had a crush on Wash and their separation some days ago had devastated him. He often was irritable and angry, snapping at the Lieutenants for no real reason. Mac often used to take Tucker aside and calm him down when he was about to snap._

_Anyway. He was sitting there now, breaking down and needing a friend._

_Walking up to the dark-skinned man, she gently grabbed him by his upper arms and pulled him up on his feet._

_“Come on, no need for everyone to see you like that.” She muttered lowly, pulling the still crying Tucker with her to his room._

_He followed her without starting a ruckus or anything else that he would usually do._

_In his room, Mac slipped out of her boots, ordering him to do the same. He followed without back-talking which was worrying on its own._

_When Mac turned around, she saw Tucker standing there with tears still rolling down his face. He stared out of the window and looked so lost._

_Walking over, she carefully herded the young man over to his bed to make him sit down. Sitting down behind him, she pulled the still crying man into a hug._

_Tucker leaned against one of Mac’s legs, whereas the other was stretched out for Tucker to stretch his legs over hers._

_He fisted the shirt of the woman sitting there, burying his face in the crook of her left shoulder, right above the prosthetic limb._

_That was when he broke down and started to wail and sob uncontrollably._

_It didn’t take long for the door to Tucker’s room to open and the chubby face of Grif to appear in the crack, a worried frown on it._

_Tucker was wailing so loud and was so out of it, he didn’t even notice how Mac shortly spoke with the guy standing there._

_“Please, leave him be. He needs some time for himself right now.”_

_Grif only nodded, mouthing a “Take care of him, okay?” to which Mac nodded._

_After that, the door closed and that left Mac with a still crying Tucker. Lying a hand on the back of Tucker’s head, she started to gently rock the crying man back and forth. The other hand was firmly around his shoulders, keeping him in place._

_After some hours, Tucker had fallen asleep in her arms, obviously getting some well- needed sleep for once._

_When it was time for breakfast, Mac woke the young man up. He still looked so horribly lost. Fuck, Mac even had to order him to get dressed and to follow her to the mess hall._

_She didn’t know when, but her instincts to protect him had kicked in at some point. Her adopted little brother needed her and she would rip off the heads of the people trying so much as to look funny at him._

_The trip to the mess hall was extremely quiet, Grif and Simmons obviously deciding on doing the same thing and shielding Tucker from everything and anything_

_._

_Kimball obviously had gotten a note from one of them, most likely Grif given Simmons’ awkwardness with women, and agreed to give Tucker and Mac two days off to get the young man back on track._

_After breakfast, Mac led Tucker to the training room where a huge boxing sack was set up._

_He didn’t say much since he had gotten up, only some affirmative grunts when you asked him something._

_Which was why Mac was mostly talking, explaining now what she wanted him to do while taping his hands._

_“Okay, Tucker. After you’re ready, you’re going to channel all those negative emotions into your fists and hit the sack. You’re going to do that until you don’t feel so sad anymore. You got me?”_

_Tucker only nodded._

_“Did you hear me?” Her voice got louder, more demanding._

_Another grunt came from him, but he was already sounding pretty pissed off._

_“I asked if you heard me, Captain?!”_

_Again, this time she had yelled and was answered by another yell._

_“Fucking yes, damn it!” He was up on his feet, fists clenched and breathing heavily._

_“Then fucking do what I said!” She ordered, taking up her spot behind the boxing sack, steadying it whilst Tucker started to hit it._

_It didn’t take long for Tucker to start crying again, hitting the boxing sack like he was out of his mind, channeling all the emotions he was carrying within him into his fists as demanded and hitting with growing frustration._

_For once, Mac didn’t correct his stance, she let him hit the sack with his fists or his feet, just the way he wanted to and needed it._

_Two hours later, Mac called it a day when she noticed Tucker hitting the boxing sack with limp fists and exhaustion evident on his face._

_“Go take a shower. We’ll meet up in about one hour in your room.” She ordered him, the aqua clad soldier nodding and taking his towel before leaving the training room._

_The black-haired woman put the stuff away before going to take a shower herself. As much as Tucker was sweaty from working out, she was sweaty from holding against Tucker’s hits so the sack wouldn’t swing away, giving off a steady target for him to hit on._

_When she was showered, she returned to Tucker’s room, finding him sitting on the bed freshly showered._

_Taking a seat beside him, she observed the young man. She decided to be here with him, just waiting for him to say something and not forcing him to do something he didn’t want to._

_“You know, I’ve always thought about what Wash would do if he were in my place. What I should do.” Tucker then started, “And when I think of it, I can’t come up with anything.”_

_His face and voice were void of any emotions, but Mac took it as a good sign that he was talking about it now._

_There was another silence until Mac said, “You know. I happen to know that Wash wasn’t always the big leader he is now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he would be thinking about the same right now. “_ What would Tucker do if he is in my place?” _”_

_The dark-skinned man looked up from his seat, “I know that he admires you because you’re a pretty capable soldier. You often decide things Wash wouldn’t have come up with himself. He often takes your ideas and then orders you to act along them.” She explained, shrugging her shoulders._

_“So I guess we’re in quite the same situation then.” Tucker muttered with a sad smile._

_Mac snorted, deciding against making a joke but replied, “Yeah, pretty much.”_

_After another moment, she then added, “You mind telling me about you and Wash?”_

_It didn’t take much more bribing until he was starting to tell Mac about his and Wash’s past, that he had first thought that the Freelancer was completely nuts but had to admit that he felt way more than friendship for the other man after they had gotten separated._

_During the next few days and weeks, Tucker trained both the Lieutenants and himself vigorously and mercilessly. Mac often had to remind him to take breaks once in a while, but in the end, he set up the strategy and did most of the assault action himself by leading the groups while fighting at the front._

_They had gotten all four of them out, although Wash had some serious injuries from Locus’ interrogation techniques that had brought him directly to the infirmary for several weeks._

_Tucker wouldn’t leave the Freelancer’s side in the infirmary until he was cleared and moved to his room._

_At the beginning, the nurses were kicking him out regularly and even Mac was trying to do so, but he always found a way to sneak right back in and after some time all of them let him be there. They just made sure he didn’t kill himself in the process by providing him a bed to sleep on._

_Mac would regularly bring over food and talk with him, keeping him company._

_Even after Wash was moved to his room and cleared for light physical exercises… Tucker would stay as much as he could, only going out for his duties, for eating, or when the medics came for checkups._

With a sigh, the black-haired woman entered the block with their rooms undetected by anyone and decided to switch into her civvies before walking the few steps over to Wash’s room and entering without knocking. What she saw there made her laugh out loud before Tucker even was able to get a word out.

 

Tucker was standing in the middle of the fucking room, looking extremely distressed and probably would have loved to kill her right then and there for laughing.

 

Locking the door, Mac walked in on the situation. Tucker was standing there like a pillar of salt with Wash on all four limbs, walking around Tucker’s legs and making cat sounds.

 

“Whoops? Too much medication?” Mac asked, walking over to the pair.

 

“I don’t know!”

 

This tone caused Mac to get serious. Tucker wasn’t only playing at being distressed, he _was_ fucking distressed.

 

“Did you already call a medic?” Mac asked Tucker, only to see him shake his head.

 

“Okay, gimme a sec. I’m going to get one.” Mac then stated, shortly leaving the room and informing the infirmary over her helmet about the situation. She requested a medic at Wash’s quarters as soon as possible, hopefully without starting a huge ruckus.

 

Half an hour later and the medic was gone, saying that he would report what had happened to Doctor Grey. He took the medication with him, since that was obviously the reason for Wash’s strange behavior.

 

The effects would last for another seven hours or so, so Mac decided to call in for Tucker, Wash, and herself for the next few days to keep an eye on the Freelancer in question.

 

Since the medics did such bullshit, Kimball certainly wouldn’t argue with them, even less since she already cleared all three of them from duty for another two weeks.

 

Well, that left Tucker and her with a high Freelancer who currently thought he was a cat. Great.

 

Sighing, she sat down on the ground, careful to not hurt Wash meandering around and still believing he was a cat.

 

“Sit down, Tucker.” She said calmly, not wanting to send either of the males into panic mode.

 

Tucker did as she said, sitting down although he did so rather stiffly.

 

“You ever had a cat back home?” She asked then, making small noises to draw Wash’s attention towards her.

 

Indeed, soon after she had started doing so, Tucker could see Wash coming closer to Mac, mewling.

 

“Come here kitty, kitty, kitty.” The woman cooed the male into joining her.

 

When he was close enough, Mac carefully reached up and started to pet the Freelancer’s head, which was answered with a purr.

 

Tucker then shook his head, “No, never had a cat.”

 

“You know how to behave around cats?” Mac asked then, still petting Wash like he was an actual cat.

 

“I petted one I met on my way to school regularly.” Tucker replied.

 

This caused Mac to nod, “It’s about the same here. He thinks he’s a cat, so treat him like one. He’s going to get off of his high soon enough.” Mac explained, which caused Tucker to huff.

 

“I should treat Wash like a fucking cat?” he asked incredulously, still watching Mac petting the Freelancer who by now had laid down in front of her and was enjoying the caressing.

 

“Exactly. See?” she motioned towards Wash, “He’s relaxed now. He’ll fall asleep eventually and then you can hope that he’ll sleep through the rest of his high.”

 

“Uh, okay? So how should I call him? Wash?” Tucker asked, clearly over-challenged by the situation at hand.

 

“Try it.” Mac stopped petting Wash, earning a disappointed mewling from the Freelancer.

 

“Uh, come here, Wash.” Tucker tried imitating the sounds that Mac had made, but Wash didn’t react.

 

“What now?” Mac could feel how Tucker’s stress level rose immediately when that didn’t work out.

 

Leaning over, Mac whispered something to him.

 

“Try it.” She then said when Tucker looked at her more than just a bit skeptical.

 

“Come here, Skylar.” Tucker tempted the Freelancer, who immediately got up with a meow and walked over to Tucker to lay his head down on his lap right after that.

 

Still with an awkward expression on his face, he started to gently thread his fingers through Wash’s blond hair.

 

“How did you know he would react to that name?” Tucker asked after a while, seeing how Wash had started to relax.

 

“North once told me that he always had photos of the cats in his locker that he used to have at home before he joined the army.” Mac explained.

 

“Let me guess, one was called Skylar?” Tucker asked, Wash meowing again at the mention of the cat’s name.

 

Mac nodded, looking at the Freelancer in a fond way, “Exactly. Skylar and Ari, those were the names of his cats.” She explained.

 

“I see, so that’s why— He-Hey! What are you doing, Wash?!” Immediately the aqua clad soldier froze up when he noticed that Wash was starting to tread the fabric of Tucker’s jogging shorts with his uninjured hand.

 

“Easy, Tucker.” Mac reached over to pet the Freelancer, who had looked up at Tucker’s reaction rather confused, “When he’s doing that, it means that he likes being with you here. Kittens do that so-called ‘Milk tread’ when they want to get milk from their mom. When they get older they do that still when they are feeling relaxed and comfortable where they are.” She explained.

 

“Bow-chicka-bow- _oww_!” Tucker winced when she whacked him upside-down the head.

 

“Not that kind of milk, fucking asshole.” She replied with a laugh, which drew a grin out of Tucker. She was glad that Tucker again was joking, which meant that he was relaxing now bit by bit and not going into full panic mode every second possible.

 

“So, back to the topic at hand. Wash feels at ease with you. Leave him like that and he’ll probably fall asleep soon.” Mac explained.

 

“But that’ll become uncomfortable with time.” Tucker muttered while watching the Freelancer with a fond expression all the same.

 

“Then how about you get up and lie down on Wash’s cot and get him to lie down with you?” an amused grin played across Mac’s lips, causing Tucker to turn red.

 

It wasn’t too visible, but she knew her adopted brother too well by now to just know that he was blushing furiously.

 

In the end, he heaved a defeated sigh, waking the almost sleeping Wash up and lying on the cot. The Freelancer looked extremely baffled at that, making confused meowing sounds.

 

Those sounds died down the moment Tucker turned around on the cot a bit and called him over. “Come on, kitty, kitty. Come here, Skylar.”

 

Immediately the Freelancer got on his ‘paws,’ wandering over to the bed and immediately climbing on top of Tucker.

 

Said young man pulled a face, but he didn’t fight or tense when the Freelancer cuddled closer and laid his head on Tucker’s chest with a contended sigh.

 

“See? If you’re stroking his head like you did before, he’ll be out like a light in five minutes tops.” Mac explained with a fond smile on her own features.

 

She could observe how Tucker slowly started to do as Mac said and indeed, no sooner than five minutes later, Washington was fast asleep on top of Tucker.

 

Tucker fell asleep soon too after having talked a bit more with Mac.

 

The woman decided to stay with the two men for the night, if only to explain to Wash what had happened when he woke up in the morning.

 

No doubt he would turn bright red when he realized just where he was and with who.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wash would love to get swallowed by the ground right now. Preferably whole. Or not?

The next morning, Mac woke up from a light slumber when she heard a mumbling from the bed.

 

Tucker was still sleeping soundly, but the blond man was about to wake up.

 

Smoothly, the black-haired female slid over to the bed, lying a hand on Wash’s shoulder. Immediately the Freelancer’s eyes shot open, soon after landing on Mac who shushed him by resting a finger on her lips and indicating for him to be quiet.

 

“Wash?” She asked in a shushed tone, when she was sure that he wasn’t going to jump up in the next moment.

 

“Yeah, it’s me. Why?” He muttered, feeling a bit annoyed.

 

“Yesterday you were kinda high from the pain medicine. You only listened to the name Skylar. That’s why.” A small smile appeared on her lips, but she shook her head when Wash tried to jump up at that.

 

“Easy, Wash.” She again laid a hand on his shoulder, making him stay where he was, “Tucker just fell asleep. Let him rest a bit more.”

 

At these words, Wash’s face turned crimson red when he realized whom he was lying on.

 

Wash’s voice, although still shushed, rose in pitch and took on a panicking note, “I am not really lying on Tucker, am I?! Please don’t tell me I am!”

 

“Sorry, pal, but you are.” Mac replied with a small smile, “He took care of you all night long and even managed to get you to sleep. You better be thankful.”

 

Wash made a little whining sound at that, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“Hey, Wash, listen.” Blinking his eyes open, he looked at Mac, who still was leaning against the rim of the cot, “Tucker called me up yesterday. He was totally freaking out because you were acting strange. I came back earlier than intended because I wanted to help you both.” She explained in a shushed tone.

 

“Us both?” Wash asked, his face heating up, “You mean we—“

 

“No, Wash, no. You didn’t.” She chuckled, “I helped Tucker to get along with you and helped you find sleep. But considering the fact that you assume stuff like that, you like Tucker a bit more than as a friend, huh?”

 

Wash looked away at that with a beet red face and _‘awkward’_ splayed over his face.

 

Mac smiled at that with an expression on her face that showed clearly that she had gotten her answer.

 

What made Wash almost jump through the roof was when Tucker spoke up, “I’d actually like to get an answer to that question.” The rumbled statement right underneath Wash’s ear made him jump with an extremely humiliating and unmanly squeak.

 

Mac lifted her head, looking at Tucker who regarded Wash with an intense glare.

 

When he looked over, Mac smiled at him and gave him a nod before getting up and going to the door.

 

Shortly checking to see if the floor was clear, she slipped out and entered her room on the opposite site of Wash’s room and closed the door to get some much needed shut-eye.

 

***

 

In Wash’s room, the Freelancer was still lying on top of Tucker, stiff as a fucking board.

 

“So, you’re going to give me an answer to that anytime soon?” Tucker asked. He knew as well as Mac that he needed to be careful with the Freelancer or the other male would retreat into his shell immediately when pressured and would not return out of it anytime soon.

 

There was another silence, before Wash sighed deeply. It sounded like a deflating tire. His muscles relaxed too and Tucker felt relieved that Wash’s shoulder wasn’t pressing so painfully into his abdomen anymore.

 

“Yeah…” The answer was spoken so lowly that Tucker couldn’t catch it.

 

“Come again?” He asked, sitting up and bringing Wash with him. His blue eyes searched for the other one’s steely grey eyes for any information.

 

“Yeah, I do like you more than as a friend. For quite a while, okay?” Wash then muttered, still not able to look straight at Tucker.

 

“And you didn’t tell me because…?” Tucker felt oddly relieved, but also a bit irritated by Wash’s strange behavior.

 

“Have you ever heard yourself talk, Tucker?” Wash asked in return, still looking down at his hands.

 

“What has that got to do with the price of fucking fish?” Tucker asked, feeling irritated by Wash’s ever so mysterious behavior. Couldn’t he straight out say what the problem was?!

 

“Everything!” Wash flared up, causing Tucker to blink, “You’re always joking about women! You’re always making innuendos and you are always after everyone wearing a skirt around base and you… you…” Wash stopped, unable to come up with another point.

 

The aqua clad soldier sighed, “Is that the only problem you’ve got?” He asked, earning a nod from Wash, his eyes wide as saucers at Tucker’s question until he realized his strange behavior and turned his face back towards his hands.

 

“Wash.” The Freelancer didn’t react. “Wash.” He grasped the blond male’s face in his hands and turned his head to force him to look at Tucker, “I know I often make jokes about girls and shit, but have you ever thought of me possibly just talking big and not really being into girls? That this maybe is a way to cope with all the shit going down around someone?” He asked straight out.

 

He felt his facial temperature rise at these questions, but didn’t break eye contact with Wash who looked at him baffled.

 

That was, until he started realizing what Tucker had just said. The dark-skinned male could see how the Freelancer’s eyes got even wider and rounder, which caused Tucker to laugh at that. It just looked hilarious, but it also just looked fucking adorable. How his mouth dropped open, his absolutely kissable lips forming a perfect _oh_.

 

“Oh…” He muttered.

 

“Yeah, oh…” he chuckled at that before continuing, “I had a thing for you for quite some time now, but I only came to realize it when we got separated. Why did you think I asked you out yesterday?” He asked with an amused grin playing across his lips.

 

Wash’s mouth snapped shut at that, “So that was a date yesterday?”

“If you don’t see it as one, then we’ll just say we were out to blow off some steam as friends.” Tucker replied casually, with a shrug to display his indifference. Although he felt a bit sad for Wash not thinking of yesterday as a date in the mall.

 

That was, until the Freelancer started chuckling, Tucker looking at the blond male sitting beside him on the cot like he had just said something funny.

 

“I just wasn’t sure if I should see it like that or not. You know, with you it’s difficult sometimes.”

 

Tucker boxed him in his upper arm at that last statement with a “Hey!”

 

…But since a smile was accompanying the whole procedure, Wash decided to let it slide.

 

“Anyway, I just wasn’t sure if I should see it as a date and get my hopes up to possibly get them crushed or if I should see it as two friends going out to fool around and keep everything on even ground since I didn’t want to pressure you.” Wash explained with a blush creeping over his face.

 

Subconsciously, a hand wandered up to his neck and he rubbed the scars there whilst he bit his lower lip.

 

Tucker loved it when he did that. It looked just adorable. Kissable.

 

Without giving it another thought, Tucker deliberately leaned in and kissed the Freelancer. Said man did not really having any possibility to get away since the aqua clad man still had Wash’s face cradled in his hands.

 

What was surprising actually was the fact that Wash didn’t fight him, but after a short moment of shock, returned his kiss.

 

Fuck, he even went so far as to let both of his hands wander up Tucker’s chest to lay them around the dark-skinned man’s neck.

 

Tucker didn’t let himself be asked twice, dropping his hands and wrapping them around Wash’s waist to pull him closer so they were pressed flush against each other.

 

When they pulled away from each other, Tucker couldn’t help but start laughing. Which of course caused the Freelancer to look at him as if he grew a second head.

 

“Sorry I just…” Tucker wheezed, trying to calm down a bit to explain.

 

“Fuck, we could have gotten our act together way before this shit happened, and here we are sitting and needing help from Mac to finally make out.” He explained.

 

He could see Wash’s face light up in a small smile, “Right, Mac gave us quite a kick in the butt for that, huh?” He muttered after a while, low laughs escaping his lips now too.

 

“Yeah, quite a wingman that woman, for making it so complicated herself.” Tucker then muttered with a sigh, deciding against another kiss and just burying his head in Wash’s neck.

 

The Freelancer nodded. “Yeah, but I can understand her actually.” He started, Tucker deciding to not say something and just listen to what Wash would say, “I mean, I struggle with that myself.”

 

Tucker lifted his head and looked at the Freelancer with a curious glance to prompt Wash into continuing, “Look. I was really good friends with them during the Project. I was the one collecting their enhancements and stuff after they died. I had gotten to terms with the fact that they’re dead and all the shit that happened. And suddenly, after ten fucking years, they show up out of nowhere, waving and saying _‘Hey Wash, how are you doing? Long time no see!’_ That’s quite hard to wrap your head around, you know.” Wash explained.

 

Tucker sat there for a moment, contemplating what he just heard, “When you look at it from that angle, I can understand why Mac acts like she does. I guess it’s something else if you see an old friend again or an old lover you thought you had lost forever and had seen die.” He muttered, a sad expression crossing over his features.

 

“Exactly.” Wash answered with a nod. “So I really can understand why she is acting the way she is. The reappearance of these two made a lot of memories come up. For me, for Carolina, and for Mac.” Wash continued, “She might not show it, but Carolina’s struggling with the fact that York showed up again too. She also had come to terms with her past, and now everything you carefully had put a lid on pops out like a jack in the box. That can hurt like a fucking bitch.”

 

Tucker nodded at that again, “I can see where you’re coming from.” He then said, before getting up and stretching his sore limbs until his spine popped.

 

He drew a face at that. “Ouch.” That was the vertebra that always resounded so ugly in his lungs and made breathing impossible for a moment.

 

“What’s up?” Immediately, Wash was on his feet and looking Tucker over.

 

“It’s nothing Wash, jeez, calm down.” The dark skinned man laughed, “I am just getting old.”

 

“Oh come on, like you have any place to complain compared to me in that department.” Wash then laughed at that.

 

“Oh yeah, poor old man, you wanna brace your weight on me. I still can take the lead if you don’t feel like it without having a heart attack. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” Tucker grinned.

 

“Asshole, I am not _that_ old!” Wash returned, shoving the dark-skinned man with a laugh, but forgetting about his broken ankle which made him fall forward.

 

“Smooth.” Tucker then commented when he had securely caught Wash in his arms.

 

“Shut up.” Wash then muttered, to which Tucker only laughed and helped him get back on his good foot.

 

“Speaking of that.” Tucker nodded to Wash’s injuries, “I’m sorry about that. I guess that was about the worst idea I ever had.” He muttered, scratching the back of his head.

 

Wash chuckled at that. “Either the worst or the best. Remember, without that, I wouldn’t have been high as a bedrock and this here,” he made a motion with his hand between the two of them, “Would never have happened.”

 

Tucker snorted at that. “Fucking true. Probably the worst and best idea I ever had altogether.”

 

Wash laughed at that. “Yeah, true. Of all time.”

 

Leaning down, since Wash was a little bit taller than Tucker, he stole another kiss from the other male.

Tucker replied to the kiss with a contented sigh through his nose.

 

When they departed the next time, Tucker brought some space between them.

 

“Hold on.” He muttered when Wash followed him, wanting so steal another kiss, “We have to go to the infirmary to get you checked over again because of your intolerance to this medication and your injuries.”

 

Wash blinked shortly at that. “Huh?”

 

Tucker again scratched the back of his head. “You know, the medic who checked you over yesterday only let you stay here because I promised him that I would bring you over personally when you’re awake. That’s why.”

 

“I see.” Wash snorted a laugh before walking back to the cot and awkwardly starting to put his boot on.

 

When it didn’t work out, Tucker heard a noise between a laugh and a sigh, walking over and helping the Freelancer into the boot with his good foot. The other one was kicked under the bed so Wash wouldn’t get funny ideas like slipping in the confining army boot with his injured foot.

 

When Wash’s boot was securely in place, Tucker slipped on his boots too and, after that, they started making their way over to the infirmary.

 

Surprisingly, the medic didn’t hound them for anything. Wash’s broken wrist and ankle were doing well and after some tests, they also knew which ingredient of the medication caused Wash to think he was Skylar the cat.

 

When this was clear, Wash got another pain medication he should take but after some discussion, the medic agreed to Wash’s request to only take them when he really was in pain.

 

Everyone knew Wash’s refusal for being drugged up was due to not being able to control the situation or react to attacks.

 

On the other hand, Tucker and Wash had to promise that Wash would take the medication if Tucker told him so and that Tucker had to keep an eye on him until he was healed.

 

Something both of them could agree to.

 

Back in the living complex they all were situated in, Tucker shortly knocked and entered Mac’s room when he didn’t get an answer.

 

When he came out again, he was smiling, “She’s sleeping. Guess it was a bit of an exhausting watch yesterday after having so much on her own plate. I doubt she really slept during the last three nights.” He muttered, closing the door and locking it, before slipping the key underneath the door back into Mac’s room so she could get out.

 

Tucker knew how much she hated not being able to lock herself up when she was sleeping. He guessed it was some old habit that got stuck with her years ago when she lost _him_. She always had done it when he had met her and he had gotten used to that quirk of hers. If there was not a quirk worse than that, he could get used to it.

 

Wash stared at the door. “I think so too. Guess it must be hard for her. This whole situation. I only wonder when she’s going to tell him.”

 

Tucker slowly walked to Wash’s room, pulling Wash along with him, “Yeah, I’m asking that myself too. I really hope she’s going to do that soon.” He opened the door and led Wash in before closing and locking it again, “I mean, fuck, they have a second chance, and, in my opinion, they should use that to be together and enjoy their time.”

 

Tucker huffed and slumped back on the cot, Wash taking a seat beside Tucker, “However, I can understand her being reluctant. I just hope she’s able to make up before either of them dies. Again.” He muttered, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly.

 

Wash hummed at that, “I hope so too.” He sighed and yawned.

 

Fucking painkillers. They were making him get drowsy so soon.

 

Leaning against Tucker, he brought him with him when he laid down. “How about we get some shut-eye too? Those fucking painkillers are making me tired.” He muttered into Tucker’s chest which he was snuggled into.

 

“Yeah, good idea, haven’t gotten much sleep myself.” Tucker replied, pulling the Freelancer closer into his body.

 

“What are we going to do about North and Mac anyway?” Wash asked, sounding pretty drowsy.

“I’m taking a page out of Grif’s book: I’ll deal with it later. First, let’s nap.” Tucker muttered, pressing a kiss into Wash’s blond hair.

 

The Freelancer laughed at that. “Sounds like an awesome idea.” Leaning up, he met Tucker who had leaned in for a kiss too.

 

The grip of Wash’s arm around his chest tightened a bit when Tucker pressed a kiss against the Freelancer’s forehead before muttering, “Good night, Wash.”

 

Wash sighed at the kiss on his forehead, cuddling again a bit closer before muttering back, “Night…”

 

It didn’t take the couple longer than five minutes for both of them to fall asleep, closely cuddled up to each other.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations start for the final fight at end of S13

After five weeks of constant nagging, the medics finally allowed Wash to remove his splints and slowly get back into training.

 

The Captains were training the Lieutenants in their specialties.

 

Tucker’s troops were great at fighting on the front line. Mac’s were specialists in sniping. Grif’s were awesome in gathering intelligence. Simmons’ were cracks when it came to technical stuff and hacking into enemy systems. Caboose’s troops…. Well, they were awesome in finding creative solutions under pressure. Given who their Captain was, that wasn’t too surprising.

 

Wash was training the Lieutenants in endurance and sporty stuff. Sarge was in general pretty crazy: he more or less shot at Grif, covering it up with the reasoning being that he was training him to always stay on guard.

 

And Donut was just being Donut, Mac thought with a snort while watching the guys and girls hiding. She had given them a time limit of ten minutes to find a good hiding place in the area. They had to stay hidden and Mac would look for them. If she couldn’t find them and hit them with a paintball, they passed the little pseudo-test.

 

Sure, the guys didn’t know that this wasn’t a real test. She told them that it was a test in order to keep the pressure up.

 

When the little clock beside the woman went off, she took her sniper rifle that she had prepared with paint balls, and stalked into the middle of the place.

 

She stood there for a moment, letting the atmosphere of the surroundings influence her.

 

Opening her eyes, she looked over to the chimney on the right side of her.

 

There was one of them hidden.

 

Lifting her rifle, she managed a clean shot to his head.

 

Another one on the other side of the place, another headshot.

 

“Miles, Lynch, if you want to hide… Learn to control your nervousness. You’re too giddy and I can feel it from over here.” She stated, said soldiers making disappointed noises, but they stood put as this was her order.

 

Walking further, she could see the glimpse of someone else. Turning around, she got a clean shot through this person’s throat. Another two shots and two others were hit.

 

“Culling, Ando, Raleigh, you’re once again not taking the sun into consideration. If you have such an exposed spot where the sun could reveal you, use tarn nets to prevent that.” Mac explained.

 

She saw the timer counting down. Four minutes left.

 

Culling made an annoyed sound over the radio. Ando and Raleigh sighed or cursed under their breaths.

 

Turning around, she managed to shoot another one of the guys in the back. “Manthey, you would be paralyzed from now on. Have fun getting down there.”

 

Another two shots, she hit the last two she was able to see. “Nice hiding spot, Fayes and Jackson, but only from three sides. You have an opening on at least one side and if anyone is coming from there, you’re fucked.”

 

She put her rifle away when the timer went off again.

 

Fayes cursed openly, whilst Jackson was making a disappointed sound.

 

“Okay guys, gather around. Giovanni, Baker, good job. You others, work on what I told you. I don’t want you guys to get killed when shit’s getting real.” She explained, a hard expression appearing on her face, “I am not going to drag your sorry asses back home. Dismissed.” She turned around, emptying the ammo clip and replacing it with real ammo.

 

Her lessons usually were short, only about two to three hours, but the stuff they learned came much more concentrated than in the other Platoons that Tucker, Grif, Simmons, and everyone else led.

 

She had gotten a bit easier since she returned and noticed that North didn’t recognize her immediately. Her voice had gotten deeper at least and her character had changed a bit during the last ten years, so even if it was a thin masquerade, it would work as long as she kept her talking to a minimum and her helmet on.

 

Leaving the group and directly walking to the war room, she could find Tucker and Wash there, along with Carolina and Kimball. So it was their usual set up for their fight. At least after Doyle had died.

 

They obviously already had discussed a plan and were about to tell her this.

 

“Okay, this is fucking insane, but given the dumb luck we usually have, I’m in.” She sighed after a moment, rubbing over the visor of her helmet.

 

“Well, it’s settled then. The assault will start in a week.” Kimball determined. “Carolina, you and Wash will take care of Locus and Felix.” Mac lifted an eyebrow at that, cocking her head to Wash and Carolina.

 

Tucker huffed “I don’t like the idea either, but given Locus and Felix’s fixation on these two, I guess it’s best to lure them into that and keep them away from the other guys who assault Hargrove’s ship.”

 

“True.” Mac then agreed, looking over to Kimball.

 

“The Lieutenants will act on their own, without their captains. However, I will need you to lead your team for sniping and providing fire cover, along with North Dakota, however he will be acting independent as a sniper too. Agent New York will take over the driving squad for a fast exit or for providing reinforcements when needed.”

 

All of the soldiers in the room nodded, accepting their orders and soon dispersing to break the news to the others. Carolina would take over informing North and York, although Mac only hoped she wouldn’t kill York.

 

Whilst the Captains, Wash, and her left to inform the other teams. For her part, she had to inform the Lieutenants who she had already called up to gather around when she had heard about the assault.

 

When entering the hall that they usually were training in, she could see that they already were all gathered up. All of them were standing in attention and waiting for her to speak up.

 

“Stand at ease, soldiers.” She ordered, all of them relaxing into a more comfortable stance.

“I know I haven’t exactly been going easy on you the last few months, but that was for a certain purpose,” She began, clasping her hands behind her back and standing tall in front of the group, “I wanted you to be ready for battle, for the day where you have to face an actual combat situation.”

 

She sighed at that, getting to the topic at hand, “This combat situation is coming up in about a week. We are going to assault the landing station, including Hargrove’s ship.” This announcement caused the group to gasp in unison. “Our group, meaning us snipers, are set up to provide fire cover. This won’t be a training situation. So if you get hit because you’re not hiding well enough, you’re dead or at least badly injured. So the reward for this mission will be your life. Make sure you use everything you learned well.”

 

Mac turned around started to walk up and down in front of the Lieutenants, “I already know where we can set up camp, and I want you guys to train especially for this situation in the next few days in the holo room. I want you to discuss the best hiding spots with me and how you would set up the teams. I want you to make your own thoughts and not only follow my lead.” She sighed heavily and stopped walking, turning back around to the Lieutenants.

 

“It is possible that I might die during the assaults.” It was deadly silent in the room, “I know everyone hopes to get out alive, but some of us here and in the whole army will die. Get used to that thought already.” Her tone got hard and serious. She had to break the reality to the guys to get them prepared for the fight, “And it is likely that I will get killed or be incapacitated, which means that I won’t be able to lead you anymore. I don’t want you to lose your head during that fight because you have nobody left giving you orders. I want you to use your heads! You got me?”

 

“Yes, ma’am!” The group replied immediately. The black-haired woman smiled at that and pulled out a map of the site, where the fight will happen and rolled it out in front of the group.

 

“Gather up. I want you to look at the map.” The guys gathered, sitting down in a circle around the woman. “This here,” she pointed to a little building somewhere between the lines with access to the enemy and to provide fire cover without going too much into enemy territory, “Will be our base. And we’re coming from that site.” She explained, showing the Lieutenants the information she got from Kimball too.

 

“Now, boys and girls. I want you to make your own decisions on the situation and how we could set up and in which formation.” It was still silent in the room, which caused her to laugh under her breath, “Okay, guys. I want you to think about it and speak to me like you would to a friend. Ignore the fact that I am a superior for once. Even someone in higher ranks can make mistakes, so shoot.”

 

From there on, the Lieutenants started to discuss everything vividly amongst themselves and together with Mac, who explained patiently when there were questions and discussed ideas when any of the Lieutenants spoke up to get a glimpse of her routine and battle experience.

 

***

 

When returning to her room in the evening she felt tired, but knew that she would have to do her homework too for tomorrow.

 

Sitting at the desk, she started writing down the idea she had developed together with her Lieutenants.

 

They would set up in a half circle around the base they would set up, making it impossible for anyone coming from the enemy front to get through this veil of bullets.

 

Since the field of view of each soldier overlapped with the one of the neighboring soldiers, nobody would get through undetected.

 

Baker, Fayes and Culling had come up with that plan and she had praised them for that idea, since Mac had opted for a more wide-strewn field but that sounded pretty safe and since their base was pretty much in the middle of the attacking front, they could cover an extremely wide range.

 

Kimball informed North that he and Mac would be meandering around, also dropping by at the base from time to time to report in.

 

Despite them all being pretty good snipers, Mac ordered everyone to get at least two SMGs in addition with them. If there would be a massive counterattack, they didn’t need quality, they needed quantity when it came to kills.

 

Writing everything down on her tablet, she then shut it down and laid down in her bed to get about three hours of sleep. Since the Lieutenants had been so creative and working so well, the black-haired woman didn’t want to interrupt them and call it a day. She only did it when the well of ideas slowly started to dry up and she noticed that the ideas started to get ridiculous and several ideas were brought up over and over again.

 

After praising the Lieutenants for their good work and ideas, she said that she would think over their ideas and that they would discuss them more tomorrow before they would start training for the situation. Before going to bed, she asked Kimball if it was possible for her to get the holo room for three or two hours each day until the day before the assault.

 

Moments later, she got the information that she could have the holo room each day from twelve to three in the afternoon.

 

Mac thanked her, shortly sending a text to her Lieutenants before definitely going to bed, informing them about the changed time of training. The morning would be for them. She long ago implemented that her Lieutenants would have to train on their own during the morning, before she would train them in sniping in the afternoon.

 

Much to her surprise, it worked out very well, the Lieutenants clearly making sure that the lazier ones did their drills too.

 

She smiled at the squad she got. It felt like they were her kids. Okay, some of them weren’t even eighteen, and still so young. She had been about the same age when she had joined the army. But she didn’t have a war in the back of her mind then since the Earth had been rather peaceful then.

 

Turning around, she pulled up the blanket to her chin. In about a week, they would enter their first combat situation. Their first battle.

 

Mac knew, and had to get used to the fact that she would lose one or another of her soldiers. It was war and somebody was bound to die. And it was likely that one of her boys and girls wouldn’t come back home anymore.

 

It wasn’t like they would pop back up again after some time like a certain someone called Andrew.

 

She growled under her breath, chasing away the thoughts of North and closing her eyes to really sleep now. These useless thoughts about Drew wouldn’t get her anywhere.

 

She needed to focus on the situation at hand and how to bring as many of her kids back home as possible by setting up a good plan.

 

***

 

The next morning felt somewhat off.

 

Although North knew that there was an assault to be taking place in less than a week, it seemed like the whole city turned around about one hundred and eighty degrees overnight, everyone looking busy and tense.

 

Everyone except Caboose, who was sitting at the lunch table and happily eating his food. Every other Captain or higher in rank person was currently setting up strategies, training their teams, or making a list of what kind of weapons they would need.

 

York was sitting beside the man, both of them currently talking about the teams and the guys Wash was hanging around with nowadays. They all seemed pretty chill, which was what set North at ease.

 

They might be assholes at times, but they were doing Wash a world of good. Besides that, it looked like said Freelancer and Tucker had gotten closer during the last week. They were practically inseparable now, and you mostly wouldn’t see one without the other.

 

North was happy for the Freelancer that he had finally found someone that made him happy, although it pained him in a way because the behavior of freshly enamored people reminded him of himself and Ala ten years ago. He still had problems wrapping his head around the fact that he had been out for ten years and lost so many years, only to be thrown into the middle of a war.

 

At least he had found some known faces here, but it still pained him thinking about _her_.

 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: there was someone giving North a headache. This Mac person. He knew that Mac was a woman but she seemed rather taciturn, always walking away when he was showing up, being around the others scarcely and speaking less whenever he was present.

 

But aside from that, everyone looked up to her, obviously. Tucker only said something about her having to sort shit out, which probably is why she was so reluctant at the moment.

 

North tried to believe the dark skinned man and decided to give Mac her space. Although he couldn’t shake the feeling that she reminded him of someone he knew from his past.

 

Alaska. His girlfriend.

 

Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he could hear Theta in the back of his head.

 

 _‘I miss her. She always had been so nice to me.’_ He sounded so crestfallen, North would have loved to pull the same face, but restrained himself from doing so in reality. He could reciprocate Theta’s feeling.

 

 _‘I know, buddy, I know. But the odds of her being here are astronomically small._ ’ He replied, earning another wave of sadness from the Fragment.

 

“Theta?” York asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

North opened his eyes, nodding, “Yeah, we just had a conversation about Ala. You know, the girl that I met after the Project crashed.” He explained.

 

“You mean the girl you wanted to marry?” Looking over with his good eye, North could see the mirth gleaming in his eye but when it came to that special girl, he didn’t feel like joking. Especially not after losing her.

 

“Yeah, her.” He confirmed, the mirth disappearing from York’s eye and his face turning from amused to surprised and then worried, but North continued, “Theta misses her. A lot. She always had been kind to him and treated him equally and not like how others would treat an AI. He was like a kid to us both. Sounds weird, but that’s probably the closest explanation to how she treated him.” North explained.

 

York nodded at that, “You miss her too, don’t you?”

 

North nodded again, “Yeah, I do. I miss her so much it already hurts.”

 

He then admitted with a heavy sight, “But I don’t think I’ll ever meet her again. I suppose she’s still somewhere on New Asia and trying to live her life by taking up missions still. She maybe even found someone else who makes her happy.”

 

He sighed again, emptying his cup of coffee and standing up, “I’m going to discuss my field of work with Kimball. I need an approximate idea of what I am supposed to do when having to play the sniping joker.” He joked, leaving the mess hall after shortly waving York goodbye.

 

Both males knew that North was trying to get away from painful memories by working and keeping his mind from wandering to that place.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, so far everything goes well, but when Epsilon breaks down, he affects his brothers and Mac has to intervene since she's the only one around them.

So far everything was going down smoothly. The black-haired woman and her kids, as she preferred calling them, were safely set up in the house they pointed out as their stronghold during the last few days and were prepared to defend it.

 

It was set up to be in-between the lines as the safe house for everyone who was fighting. People should be able to retreat into this house to get new clips of ammo, to catch their breaths, or to get rudimentary first aid.

 

The fight was in their favor so far. Her kids were keeping the perimeter around the house safe from enemies, while she and North were going around the battlefield. They didn’t talk via the radio to give away their plan or their locations which was currently their biggest advantage, and they worked together just as well as they had before. They just knew where one another was and went to the other side of the battlefield or covered the other’s back.

 

It wasn’t really surprising that the house they set up mostly had ammo clips for sniper rifles. Primarily for the kids and secondly for her and North.

 

York was heard over her radio, the volume of which she turned down as much as possible. He was driving around, bringing in new forces and afterwards joining the battle. He was driving and one of the bolder guys with him hopped on the back of the vehicle and fired the machine gun fixed on the Warthog.

 

That was, until Hargrove showed up and the Mantis Droids started pushing them back. That was when Tucker and the others went on the ship to nail this asshole down. She heard something about Felix falling, but she couldn’t pay much mind to what was happening up there since she had to focus on killing the enemy soldiers tagging along with the Mantis Droids.

 

One or two of them wouldn’t be hard to take down, but there were dozens! Attack one and you get turned into Swiss Cheese by the others within seconds.

 

Growling under her breath, she ordered her kids to get into more of a defensive stance, retreating herself since she needed ammo.

 

North obviously had the same problem as he radioed that he would be around too.

 

York said something about needing the same, but for his Magnum and Battle Rifle. Ala confirmed, altering her voice a bit to make it sound even deeper than it already did.

 

Also starting to retreat, but always keeping an eye on her surroundings, she entered the house and gave the Lieutenants the order that two of them could come down to get an ammo clip for their rifles when she heard shouts of happiness roar over.

 

“Guys, report!” she immediately shouted into the radio, forgetting about alternating her voice, but she was too worried to even think on that currently.

 

North, who was standing in the back of the room, was looking at her funny but didn’t say something. She could feel his glance boring holes into the back of her head.

 

“The guys managed to shut down the Droids!” This was Culling, shouting over the radio and causing Ala to cringe. She had an extremely squeaky voice, just like Jensen, which only got worse when she was excited.

 

“Great!” Mac let herself be carried away by the momentum and cheering too, “Make sure you stay on gua—“ The rest of her sentence was cut off when she heard someone screaming in pure agony.

 

Whirling around, she saw North and York squirming in agony, screaming like they were getting their hearts ripped out alive. That probably wasn’t even as worse as the pain they were currently going through.

 

“North! York!” Sprinting over, she immediately was by the guys’ sides.

 

Both of them were lying on the ground, pressing their hands on their helmeted heads before going limp.

 

What the hell could cause such a pain until both Freelancers simultaneously lost consciousness? Mac thought hectically until it hit her like a cargo train.

 

The Fragments!

 

Immediately she looked for North’s neck, roughly ripping down the mesh of his under-suit to find the chip safely implanted.

 

She felt an odd mix of relief and happiness that Theta still was here, but worry as to why he was causing so much trouble.

 

However, this worry was cut short since North and York were unconscious and shit outside had obviously hit the fan.

 

“Mac? What’s up down there?” Culling was shouting over the radio.

 

Ala cringed at the shouting, “York and North collapsed. I don’t know what is up, but it’s bad.” She lied. She knew exactly what was up, but she couldn’t blow her cover by telling them that.

 

“It’s bad out here too!” This was Manthey interjecting, “We are getting closed in! Troops are moving in and we’re—“ the rustling sound gave away that he had just received a clean shot through his skull.

 

Mac closed her eyes when it sunk into her that she had just heard one of her kids dying, but she couldn’t grieve his death right now. She needed to bring the others home safely.

 

“What’s your ammo status?” She asked, noticing a flicker of violet and green. Delta and Theta were rebooting.

 

“Approximatively half of the initial stock. Full SMG’s.” Baker was the first to respond, the others giving similar replies.

 

Mac shortly went over her possibilities before answering, “Okay. When I give you my okay, two of you will go down and get your ammo restocked. Make sure this house here is kept safe since we have at least two injured men down here.”

 

“Understood.” Her kids replied.

 

Then Baker asked, “And when will that be?” he sounded anxious.

 

“When I am out there and cleaning up.” She muttered with a dark expression.

 

“Sorry? Come again?” Fayes asked.

 

Mac exhaled deeply, “Nothing. Stay on guard for my go and make up a schedule on who is going when to restock. I have to log out of here for a moment.” With that, she changed the channel so her helmet would broadcast her voice directly. She was sure the Fragments were back online by now.

 

“Theta, Delta.” Both of them appeared, looking rather confused.

 

“Hello, soldier. May I ask how you knew—“

 

Mac held up a hand to stop Delta, “Sorry to interrupt you, Delta, but I need to keep shit short here.” With that she walked over and pulled out the Domed Energy Shield Unit from North’s Armor.

 

“What are you doing with that?!” Theta protested, appearing in front of her face.

 

“I will need that to get out and keep their asses safe.” She replied, reaching around her back to pull out the camouflage unit before stopping herself to add, “Whatever happens here, I need you to promise me to not tell anything to these two. You got me?”

 

The Fragments looked confused, but nodded.

 

Mac added to her previous statement, “I really need you to keep quiet about it, no matter what happens out there or what you see. Because if the guys know, it will affect them… especially North. Okay, Theta? Delta?”

 

Looking to each of them, they again nodded silently.

 

“Okay.” She said while exhaling deeply, pulling out the camouflage unit and shoving the Domed Energy Shield Unit in.

 

It took a moment, but eventually she could see her armor color start to change until she was wearing her usual white and blue armor again.

 

That was when she heard Theta gasp, “Ala?!”

 

“Yes, Theta.” She replied with a sad smile, “It’s me. This is why I need you to absolutely not tell North until I am going to because it could affect him. You understand?”

 

“But—“ Theta wanted to argue, but was caught off by Mac.

 

“Theta, _please_.”

 

The Fragment shut up at that, adding after some moments with a tiny voice, “But you promise to tell him soon?”

 

Ala, albeit wearing a helmet, threw him a small smile, “Promise, Theta. And please, call me Mac from now on until North knows, okay?”

 

Theta nodded at that.

 

Delta had watched the exchange silently, not saying anything until Mac promised to Theta to tell North who she really was sometime soon, and they continued with preparing for battle.

 

Standing back up, the black-haired woman walked over to the ammo storage and started to refill her SMGs and her two sniper rifles.

 

“Okay, guys, let’s get going. Theta, I need you to run the Domed Energy Shield. Delta, can you manage my Speed Unit?”

 

She looked to Theta, who nodded enthusiastically at her question.

 

Delta confirmed with an “Affirmative.”

 

“Okay, then. You can temporarily install yourself on my hard-drive. You can delete pretty much everything except for my Private folder. And that one isn’t going to be touched or looked through.” She ordered, the Fragments agreeing.

 

In the end, there was plenty of storage room for both of them and all of her stuff. She wasn’t Tucker with his tons of pornography on the storage unit, at least.

 

When both Delta and Theta flickered back online, she continued, “We need to first lessen the number of troops closing in on us currently and second buy the Lieutenants sniping up on the roof enough time to restock and regroup.” She explained, fixing the sniper rifles on her back and pulling out her two SMGs while walking outside the house.

 

“Let’s teach the enemy not to fuck with us.” She said in a dark tone, “I’m counting on you guys. Let’s keep the talking to a minimum since speed and stealth are our most important weapons.”

 

Both A.I.s nodded and Mac switched on the main channel, “Guys, restocking starts now. Whatever happens, don’t follow me and don’t stop shooting when I am getting in the line of fire. We have to keep this place clean of enemies!”

 

“But you will be shot then.”

 

Ala definitely had taught them well to think through her plans with her and find any flaws.

 

She smiled, “It’s okay. I have someone watching my back, so don’t worry.”

 

Mac knew that Theta heard her saying that and immediately she could feel energy being drained from the suit for the Shield, followed moments later by another drainage when Delta started up the Speed Unit.

 

“Okay, let’s speed up the party here a bit.”

 

Delta got his clue in bringing the Unit up to his full potential so Mac could use it. Theta followed suit, starting to block bullets whizzing past her.

 

With incredible speed, she was through the first row of enemies within seconds, firing her SMGs and mowing down the soldiers like grass.

 

It looked horrible and she absolutely hated it, but she needed to thin out the lines of soldiers in order to keep themselves safe. Carolina and the others couldn’t come help too quickly since they were extracting the Blood Gulch Crew and the rest of the army still needed some moments to show up.

 

Her SMG clips soon were empty, half of the enemy soldiers already incapacitated. She tried to keep the casualties as low as possible, but there were deaths to mourn still. She was well aware of the fact that most of the soldiers were nothing more than kids who were probably hired freshly out from basic, but right now they were enemies and she needed to protect a mismatched group of guys and girls she called family now.

 

While stuffing away her SMGs and pulling out the Katanas on her back, she ordered Delta to return to York by uninstalling himself from her storage unit and to inform her about the guys’ health situations and when they were about to wake up.

 

Delta did as was asked, soon informing her that they were still deeply unconscious but that their vital parameters were okay.

 

Running towards the remaining soldiers who soon started to either run away or fire at her, she started taking down those who were still fighting.

 

Her Katanas were specially enhanced steel with Nano-technology and other modern shit she didn’t understand, but they were practically unbreakable. And her sheaths were a special minimization-application she managed to bribe Kyle into giving her. The handle was secured with some kind of Vacuum in the sheaths, whilst the blades were compromised and minimized so that the blades themselves weren’t even reaching the upper part of the blades when they were unsheathed. It was an incredible technology of the aliens, actually.

 

Theta still was successfully keeping away the bullets from Mac, mostly letting them fly off to a place where nobody was standing around. Some of the other bullets were redirected to other attacking enemy soldiers and took them down successfully. It wasn’t their goal to kill them, but to make them give up.

 

Whirling around, she stabbed one of the soldiers in the leg, one of the others got a cut to his right arm that severed the muscle and incapacitated him.

 

Some of them received a heavy hit on their helmet or necks with the handle to incapacitate them. There were other soldiers who weren’t that lucky, which led to them either having slit throats, cut off heads, limbs, or a clean stab through their heart. She would stab them upwards, the blade entering on the front underneath the chest plate and piercing the heart with deadly accuracy.

 

The soldiers were dead before they were able to realize what had happened.

 

Soon, no enemy was to be seen.

 

Ala stuffed her Katanas away after wiping them off haphazardly, pulling out her knife and ending the guys who were in the throes of death and not able to survive anyway. Some of them hadn’t been fortunate enough to die quickly. Not because Mac was a sadist, but because she didn’t have the time to kill them immediately because she had to save her life.

 

Coming back to the house, she pulled out the Domed Energy Shield Unit, putting it back into one of the Unit slots in North’s armor and pushing in her Camouflage Unit.

 

Minutes later, she was clad in her actual armor color: dark blue with white trims. That’s all she could manage without an A.I. supporting her.

 

“Theta, Delta.”

 

Both Fragments looked up, Theta also having uninstalled himself from Ala’s storage unit in her armor.

 

“I again need to know that you aren’t telling them,” she motioned to the men still lying there unconscious, “Anything of what you learned. I need them at their best behavior here in this fight. And, yes, Theta,” She smiled at the little Fragment, “I will tell North, okay? But for now, I need you to keep quiet about what you found out here, okay?”

 

Theta nodded sheepishly, but complied.

 

“Thank you, buddy.” She smiled.

 

Now walking over, she put the two men in the special stance you put unconscious people in. Soon after, she heard Carolina over the radio.

 

“How are you guys down there?”

 

“We’re fine, although York and North broke down because of some reasons I can’t quite determine.” Mac explained, hearing the soldiers again hollering with joy.

 

“That’s because Epsilon shattered himself to run the Meta Suit to bring us out.” Tucker sounded worn out, sad, and his voice was coarse.

 

Ala nodded at that. Given the connection of the Fragments, it was pretty likely that they would react to that kind of action from one of their brothers.

 

“The Fragments are gone.” Carolina stated, a bid sadly and Mac sighed to that, “I didn’t want to, but I had to fire an EMP just before we got out to incapacitate several mini droids on the ship who threatened to take down the Pelican.”

 

Tucker started again, obviously having big trouble coping with what happened back there, “We lost them. I didn’t mean to, but we lost them.” He started babbling.

 

“Tucker.” Mac interrupted the babbling aqua soldier gently, “It’s okay, nobody blames you. Let’s discuss that back in Armonia. You will be fine.” She explained kindly.

 

Tucker made a noise like he was about to cry.

 

Mac was sure that Wash was with him and would support him until they’re back in Armonia.

 

Addressing Carolina, Mac continued, “We need to bring the guys back there to get them checked up for cranial damage. It looked pretty violent when Theta and Delta inadvertently inflicted their pain on the guys.”

 

Carolina confirmed that and logged out.

 

Mac then ordered her crew to gather up and to bring with them those who hadn’t survived their troop’s fight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tucker struggles with the aftermath of Epsilons breakdown.

The moment they were back from the battlefield and cleared by the medics, Mac was on her way to the living complex that they were all rooming together in.

 

Slipping into her civilian clothes, she immediately walked over to Tucker’s room.

 

It wasn’t like she had taken lots of injuries. The worst was a bullet grazing her right upper arm, right above the armor plating. Theta took care of other bullets, which would have been a lot more lethal than that one.

 

After disinfecting and bandaging the wound, the black-haired woman was out of the infirmary. She had learned then from the medics that Tucker and Wash had already been released.

 

Relying on her ears, she followed the little sounds until she ended up at Tucker’s room.

 

She didn’t really knock, since she knew her adopted brother wouldn’t even open the door when he was so bad off as he was now.

 

Entering the room, she could see both of the guys almost entirely out of their armor.

 

Wash was already wearing his civilian clothing, whereas Tucker was standing in the middle of the room in his under-suit and struggling with the plating on his forearm. He still was wearing the armor plating on his lower legs and his forearms.

 

He was tearing at them like an idiot. Wash tried to calm down and help his boyfriend, but the dark-skinned man would only growl like an injured animal whenever the former Freelancer was getting too close.

 

Coming closer herself, she also received a growl but remained unbothered by it.

 

He wouldn’t really attack her or anyone else. It was a self-protection reflex he already had done a lot of times. For example, when he had been stabbed by Felix. Wash had been having his fair share of trouble back then, so the others had taken care of Tucker.

 

Closing the distance between her and the still growling Tucker, she started to herd the young man over to the bed to make him sit down.

 

Wash seemed to take her cue and also took a seat on Tucker’s cot.

 

When the aqua-clad soldier was situated on the cot, Mac crouched down in front of the young man and started to take off his remaining armor that he wasn’t able to get out of.

 

“Being grouchy again, are we?” she asked deliberately, grabbing one of his lower leg protectors and starting to screw loose the bolts holding it in place.

 

“How would you react after something like that?” Tucker asked in a grumbling voice.

 

“Not by getting aggressive towards those who want to help you and don’t know how to interpret your behavior, asshole.” She replied dryly, yanking off the other plate and causing the soldier to yelp at the sudden pain of metal plates scrapping against his skin.

 

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you.” Tucker growled, crossing his arms in a defiant manner.

 

“Nope, better not. And I prefer not being in here when that happens.” She replied, freeing the last part of his armor and putting it aside. It was a strange view. If the armor hadn’t been aqua, she would have felt extremely anxious because the happenings with the Meta on Sidewinder were still rather fresh in her mind even though some years had already passed since then.

 

When Tucker was out of the armor, she wandered over to the desk and threw Tucker his civilian clothes.

 

“Get changed.” She ordered simply, but Tucker didn’t budge.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him.

 

Wash, luckily, decided to keep quiet for now since he seemed to feel that it was smarter to let the siblings handle matters.

 

“As much as I know I am hot stuff, I prefer not being stared at while changing.” He snapped at her, but seemed to deflate when his anger didn’t affect Mac in the way he thought it would.

 

“What about your bathroom?” She replied dryly, Tucker looking at her with anger for a short moment before deflating more and getting up.

 

“I’m going to get changed.” He muttered, trudging over to the bathroom and closing the door with an audible ‘ _clap_.’

 

Wash sighed, “Is he always like that when bad things happen?” he asked, making a motion with his hand to illustrate that he meant Tucker’s behavior right now.

 

Mac sighed in response to the question.

 

“He’s all bark and no bite, so don’t worry. Don’t get intimidated by that. The more you react to it, the more he’s going to use that on you. He’s an idiot in that department. You’ll learn it eventually.” She explained.

 

“So you’re saying that he’s acting like an injured animal, but unlike the animal… He isn’t going to bite, so to speak.” He concluded, looking over to the bathroom where they could hear shuffling and rubbing his hands together.

 

“Exactly. Just be patient. He took up this behavior since he had nobody to rely on.” She explained calmly, “He needs time to learn to trust people again. Just be there for him, okay?” This statement was accompanied by a small smile from the black-haired woman.

 

When the door opened, they could see a sullen Tucker emerging. He was wearing his civvies and slumping down beside the Freelancer on the cot. Crossing his arms, he stared ahead. He glared at the wall, like he wanted to break it down just by glaring at it.

 

Jesus Christ, this asshole was impossible. Always playing the strong man act and shit.

 

Walking over, she flicked a finger against his forehead. With a growl, the aqua-clad soldier looked up and glared at the black-haired woman.

 

Leaning down, she glared right back at her adopted brother.

 

“Stop acting like a fucking dick.” She started, glaring right back at the dark-skinned man but without any venom in her voice, “We’re here because we want to help you. So stop biting the hands trying to help you.”

 

“Hmph!” Tucker looked away, crossing his arms.

 

“Okay!” with that, Mac stood up, “If you want it that way… Fine!”

Getting up, she started to leave the room. Upon reaching the door, she turned around halfway and looked back. Tucker was still looking at the wall with an angry expression. Wash looked at her rather helplessly, still not knowing how to interpret Tucker’s angry reaction.

 

She threw him a small smile and a wink, showing clearly that he would be fine.

 

Although acting completely different than she advised the blond, she was sure he would be fine. She had on purpose angered the dark-skinned man a bit so he hopefully would talk a bit more with his boyfriend.

 

Sighing, she closed the door and walked over to her room.

 

Tucker really could be such an idiot… A real idiot and he was acting just like one right now.

 

She only hoped that Wash would be able to get under the idiot’s hard shell that he was putting up right now to help him.

 

***

 

Back in the room, Wash sat there on the cot beside Tucker who was still glowering at the door his adopted sister had just disappeared through.

 

Wash sighed inwardly. He had only gotten to know his boyfriend as being an easygoing and rather aggregable person in general. A joking and happy person, someone who was able to adjust to all of the shit that had happened in his life so far.

 

Seeing him here... To Wash, he looked like a completely different person.

 

He looked years older with that sour expression on his face and anger sparkling in his eyes. This expression made him look grim and bitter.

 

It was fascinating how a little smile could make people look so much younger than they actually were.

 

With how he was sitting there now, angry and glowering, he looked at least as old as the Freelancer himself—if not older. Although Wash knew that Tucker was around three years younger than himself.

 

In any case, all these thoughts didn’t help Wash in getting over the problem at hand. The way to get through the man’s hard shell.

 

What should he do?

 

_“He’s all bark and no bite, so don’t worry.”_

Right, he was more the loudmouth and not the one hitting someone. At least not with his fists. He restrained himself from snorting at that mental statement.

 

 _“Just be patient. He took up this behavior since he had nobody to rely on.”_ Wash remembered the woman telling him that. Soon after followed by another statement, _“He needs time to learn to trust people again. Just be there for him, okay?”_

 

Okay, so he would be the patient one and wait for Tucker to start talking. He already noticed several times that the aqua-clad soldier needed more time when it came to really trusting someone. He might trust you on the outside, but on the inside, he hardly ever really truly trusted someone. Wash would like to become the person Tucker really could trust blindly, without having to second guess him.

 

Tucker usually would second guess every person’s decisions, even those from Kimball.

 

Anyway, in this moment, he would have to wait for the man to start talking.

 

After another twenty minutes or so of sitting in silence together, Tucker suddenly exhaled loudly and Wash noticed his shoulders slumping.

 

“I… I feel like I should have been able to do something to rescue the Fragments that Epsilon left behind.” The young dark-skinned man suddenly started talking, “I had noticed that he broke since I suddenly noticed all these other Fragments around. I don’t even know what most of them were called. I thought I saw Delta there and shit, but I am not sure.” He rubbed his hands over his face, “Anyway, I hadn’t seen Epsilon around and that was when I realized that he must be gone.” Tucker explained.

 

Wash felt like a dam had started to break inside his boyfriend.

 

“He broke down and I wasn’t even able to safe his remnants. He just disappeared. The only thing that is left is the message he recorded before he died. He…. Just disappeared.” A low sob escaped the young man. He again rubbed his hands over his face, obviously trying to hold back his tears.

 

This time, Wash scooted over and took the young man struggling with his emotions into a tight hug, “As I said. It’s okay. You did what you could. If you hadn’t used the EMP, lots of our friends would have died.” Wash explained, but Tucker shook his head furiously.

 

“No, I should have managed to rescue both. My friends and Epsilon’s remnants.” Again there was a low sob, Tucker’s shoulders starting to shake slightly.

 

“It’s okay, Tucker. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay.” Wash explained gently, tightening the hug around his boyfriend, “Tell me what is up. I want to be there for you. I want you to trust me and tell me what is bothering you.”

 

It seemed like this was the final push that the aqua-clad soldier needed to break down. The sobs became a bit louder in volume, but it wasn’t like he was wailing. It seemed more to Wash as though this crying was a long needed valve to get rid of a horrible load of stress and pressure.

 

It didn’t take long for Wash to feel a bit awkward given that his shirt was damp, but he didn’t really complain about it. He wanted Tucker to trust him, and if that needed a breakdown from Tucker in order for him to start trusting the Freelancer, Wash would gladly accept this condition and be there in order to help the aqua-clad soldier to feel better.

 

Wash couldn’t say how long they had been sitting there. It couldn’t have been that long since the sun was about to set when Tucker lifted his head and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

“I—I’m sorry. And… Thanks.” Tucker muttered, sniffing a bit and trying to force up a smile. It looked rather derailed, and his eyes were red and puffy from crying. His blue irises however, shone as brightly as ever.

 

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I said that I want to be there for you. So everything’s fine.” Wash explained, wiping off the still damp cheeks of his boyfriend with his thumbs. The dark-skinned mans’ face was cradled in the Freelancer’s hands, “It’s going to be okay. You did what you could, and that’s the most important thing. Maybe Epsilon is happy now. He never really was happy being alive, you know.” He explained, Tucker looking a bit surprised at him.

 

The blond smiled, a bit derailed, “When he had been split off of Alpha, he carried memories with him which weren’t his. He was… existing, not living. Being with you guys helped him a lot.” Tucker blinked at him, but did not say much in order to let Wash explain.

 

“He made a lot of memories with you guys. When he had been created, he was angry, sad, and only wanted to die. But when he was around you and Carolina, he slowly started to relax and develop his own personality.” Wash smiled when he compared the way Epsilon had been when he first met him and how he had been when they met again.

 

“Although being rather similar to Alpha, it was his own personality that he developed. And he started making memories. His own memories, not those he carried with him from someone else. Memories that made him into the person he was when he decided to die.” Wash sighed when he saw the sadness welling up in Tucker’s eyes again and hurried to add, “He didn’t make the decision lightly when he decided to sacrifice himself for you guys. He did it because he wanted to as Epsilon, not as someone who only existed as the ragtag memories of others.”

 

Wash sighed deeply through his nose, “Don’t take away Epsilon’s dignity of having decided things for himself by second guessing it.”

 

It was silent for a while, Wash deciding to shut up for now because he felt like he would start rambling should he continue talking.

 

After several minutes, Tucker started talking, “I… never thought of it that way.”

 

Wash smiled at that, not answering and letting Tucker do the talking after having explained so much already.

 

“If thinking of it that way, I think it’s probably for the best that we didn’t retrieve the remnants. Maybe he is happier with the solution, not having to exist in Fragments.”

 

“Maybe.” Wash replied to Tucker’s statement, “We can’t find out for certain, but I guess he would have been happy either way. So let’s remember him the way he had been. That’s the best way to honor his sacrifice.” He explained, offering the suffering Tucker a small smile.

 

“It’s going to be okay.” Wash told him, “You’re going to be okay.”

 

Tucker took some moments before he started to smile and nod, “Yeah, I guess so.”

 

The Freelancer smiled at that, the smile only intensifying when he felt how Tucker leaned in and pressed a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

 

They parted and Tucker looked over to Wash, “Thanks, Wash.”

 

“You’re welcome.” The Freelancer replied, sighing happily when Tucker again kissed him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yorkalina  
> Carolina isn't dealing as well with Yorks disappereance as she thought for 10 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween guys!  
> I know I am a bit early, but I am not going to have time tomorrow to post one ^^'

He woke up in the middle of the night, a horrible headache pounding behind his eyes.

With a groan, he tried to move and noticed that his limbs were extremely heavy.

 

What the hell happened?

 

He remembered being in the safe house that Mac and the others had set up and that he had been reloading his battle rifle when suddenly something went horribly wrong with Delta.

 

The Fragment had been screaming in agony, causing him to feel the same pain—only tenfold. It had been so horrible that he had broken down and must have lost consciousness.

 

 _‘Well, that probably was what happened.’_ he thought to himself, lying still on the bed and listening to his surroundings.

 

He was most likely in the infirmary and under observation.

 

_‘Agent New York, I am happy that you are doing okay. I am terribly sorry that I inflicted you with so much pain when I was losing it. It won’t happen again. It was highly unprofessional of—_

_’_

_‘Stop it, D.’_ York groaned in his thoughts, causing the Fragment to shut up, _‘I just woke up and my head is killing me. Give me a break!.’_

 

 _‘Of course, Agent New York.’_ Delta replied.

 

 _‘How many times do I need to tell you to just call me York?’_ he asked sarcastically through his pain.

 

_‘I won’t use that term since it’s impolite.’_

_‘It’s also impolite to ignore someone’s wish on being called differently.’_ York argued, the Fragment shutting up at the undeniable logic of his retort.

 

 _‘Okay then, York,’_ Delta hesitated quite a bit until he managed to bring out only that instead of his usual address for his partner, _‘I will do so from now on.’_

_‘Thanks.’_ York replied, now opening his eyes and forcing his body to follow his orders and sit up in his bed while deliberately ignoring the pain in his head from Delta’s earlier rampage.

 

When he sat upright halfway, he noticed that someone was in the room with him.

 

Looking around, he could see the still figure of North lying on a cot beside him. He couldn’t say it for sure, but it seemed like he wasn’t alone and there was someone leaning against the wall beside his cot, looking at him lying there. But given the fact that there was light peering in through haphazardly closed curtains, his mind also could be playing tricks on him since the figure was right beside the window and the shadows could be making a human-like shape that his mind was simply identifying as one.

 

Delta, for once, kept his smartass remarks to himself.

 

Turning his head and trying to reach for a glass of water, his jaw almost dropped on the floor. There, beside his bed, sat a usually aqua-armored redhead.

 

Carolina!

 

Staring at her with his jaw hanging down slackly until he got his bearings back in check, he started smiling. She was sitting in the chair with her arms crossed and her head sunk onto her chest. She was for once wearing civilian clothes and it looked like she was asleep.

 

“York?” Turning his head at the small voice, he could see Theta hovering beside the still lying figure of North.

 

“What’s up, buddy?” York asked silently, in order to not wake up the others

.

“Where are we?” he looked stressed and uncomfortable.

 

“We’re safe here. I’m sure we’re back in Armonia since Carolina is out of her armor.” York explained, pointing back over to the Freelancer with a grin. His circulation was almost fully booted up by now, except for the horrible headache.

 

“Okay.” Theta exhaled deeply, obviously relieved.

 

“How’s North?” York asked, regarding the unmoving body.

 

Theta, looking over to North replied, “He’s sleeping pretty deeply. I guess it will take another four or five hours until he wakes up. I couldn’t control myself and I obviously hurt him pretty badly. I hope he isn’t going to be angry with me.” The Fragment muttered, kicking imaginary dust with his shoe.

 

York’s expression softened at that, “Don’t worry, Theta, he’s not going to be angry with you. You couldn’t control it. Neither could Delta. Don’t beat yourself up about something you couldn’t control.”

 

“Okay.” Theta replied, looking a bit relieved albeit still a little insecure but he obviously was okay with the explanation and disappeared again.

 

“Shaun?”

 

York’s head whipped around at the mention of his real name by this special person so fast that he felt dizzy almost immediately.

 

His body started tipping and Carolina shot up to catch him when he threatened to fall out of his bed and stop his fall with his face.

 

“Smooth.” Carolina held him steady and helped him sit back up.

 

“You know I always am, Lina.” Carolina huffed at that, but York didn’t get the impression it was out of annoyance. More like… a happy huff?

 

Like it had been back then in the Project, when she used to huff in amusement at his pick-up jokes he reserved only for her. And there always had been this little hint of a happy smile she only sent his way.

 

…He couldn’t see that in the dark though, what a pity. He would have loved to see that again.

 

Sitting up straight again, Carolina offered him some unsweetened tea that he gratefully accepted.

 

When he felt like he had drunk enough, he shook his head slightly and Carolina put the glass back down.

 

They sat in silence for some time, until York decided to break the silence.

 

“Would you mind going out for a walk? I don’t want to wake North up. Theta mentioned that he still needs some rest.” He asked silently.

 

Carolina obviously wanted to protest, but the male lifted a hand, “I’m not talking about bolting, Lina.” She threw him a dirty glare at that, “Just walking around a bit in the hallway outside. Get some fresh air and move my limbs. We’re staying where the nurse can keep an eye on me. Besides, I would love to have something sweet like a coke or something. I feel like my body needs that right now.”

 

The former leader of the Freelancers looked contemplative for a while, before nodding reluctantly.

 

“Okay, I will inform the nurse and then come get you.” She got up and left the room.

 

It wasn’t long until she returned.

 

“Okay, let’s go. But if you’re not feeling okay, we’ll immediately report to the nurse.” She ordered lowly.

 

Walking over to his cot, she bent down and helped the male who was sitting on the bed and waiting for her to stand up.

 

Slowly, they started walking out of the room and towards one of the smaller anterooms on the floor, close to the nurses’ office.

 

After setting York down, Carolina left again, coming back soon afterwards with two juices for them. Looking at the cans, the tan-wearing male suspected her of having gotten them from the beverage dispenser some meters down.

 

Sitting down on the ragtag couch beside York she handed him the beverage. He accepted it with a “Thanks.”

 

It was strange, to say the least. After ten years, they had met again.

 

York had never thought that it would go down like that: that he would be out for more than ten years, nor that he ever would meet Carolina again after finding that out.

 

He actually had planned on waking up as soon as his clone was killed and immediately going to search for Carolina, trying to get her to let go and start anew with him.

 

But he had been out cold for more than _ten fucking years_ and now they were all awkward around each other.

 

Maybe it was for the better, since Carolina seemed to have been able to let the whole shit about the Project go, as far as he heard from Wash. She looked more relaxed, more mature, but still like the Carolina he had known back in Project Freelancer. Determined, strong-willed, thick-headed, agile, but loving and gentle all the same.

 

Still…

 

Now they were all awkward around each other.

 

They had been so close during the Project, coming from them knowing each other even before Freelancer as they had met in Errera and immediately had clicked with one another.

 

Speaking of clicking…

 

“Guess this time there’s no lighter around you could snatch from me to break the ice, huh?” he stated a bit awkwardly, not really knowing how to get a conversation started up.

 

She _had_ hit him in the guts before turning on her heels and running right after that the last time they met.

 

She had been hiding from him for more than two months until the assault yesterday. Was it yesterday?

 

“You mean the Errera lighter?” Carolina asked, reaching in her pocket and pulling out something.

 

Dropping it in York’s hand, he looked at it completely baffled.

 

“You seriously kept that thing?” He asked with incredulousness but yet happiness in his voice, immediately starting to flick the cap open and closed with a clicking sound.

 

“It was my piece of memory of you. It was because of this stupid thing,” with that she snatched the lighter back like she had back then in Errera years ago, “That we got to know each other at all.”

 

York snorted into the can. He took a swig after Carolina took the lighter back. He really had needed that sugar.

 

“Right. If I hadn’t have gotten dragged along by my friends and was playing with that, you wouldn’t have shown up and taken it from me.”

 

Carolina threw him that small smile she used to give him back in Freelancer, outstretching her hand to give York back his lighter.

 

He shook his head, “Keep it. It was safe with you for the last ten years. Besides, take it as a promise that I will stay with you from now on like the lighter does.”

 

He threw her a small smile which Carolina did not respond to. If anything, her face was turning hard just as her eyes were doing.

 

“You can’t promise that.” She answered deliberately, getting up to leave.

 

But York was faster. Getting up too, he grasped her arm to make her stay. If she wanted, she could have broken free without any problem but she didn’t.

 

This was the reason for York to say what he said next, “Please stay. I want to talk with you about that. We can’t always run from that.” His voice was soft and warm.

 

It was a strange situation. Carolina usually would take the bull by the horns and get the issue resolved quickly when it showed up, but in this instance she was evading. She was trying to run, only to not have to approach the subject.

 

Carolina hadn’t turned around so far, still keeping her back to him.

 

“Tell me what is up with you. What is on your mind?” York pleaded, squeezing her arm slightly, only to put emphasis on his request without hurting her or making her feel caged. He knew how easily she could become angry when she felt caged.

 

Carolina didn’t turn around still, but he could see her shoulders slump a bit.

 

“I had lost you. Do you know through how much shit I had to go through because of you?”

 

York blinked at that, but didn’t say a word. Maybe it was about to break out of her, and he wouldn’t do a damn thing to stop her from doing that and get a weight off her chest now.

 

“For ten fucking years, I lived with the knowledge that I lost you and lost a chance to tell you so many things. I had sealed away my pain and all my feelings. I was fighting in the hope to someday get revenge for your death and maybe a bit of peace for myself. And after that,” York assumed she was talking about the Director, “I was fighting here… only to keep myself going, to not think about all of this. And then suddenly, you show up again—popping up like a fucking jack out of the box acting as if nothing ever happened! Do you even know how that feels?! To think you lost someone and then to suddenly be confronted with that same person after ten years?!”

 

While she was talking, she had turned around to face him like she usually did when she was arguing with someone. What was rather unusual was the open display of emotion on her face and her voice growing gradually louder during the time she was talking until she was almost shouting.

 

Slowly and carefully, York grasped both of her arms to make her keep looking at him. Again, he was careful not to make her feel caged and to become angrier as a result of that.

 

“I know how that feels, actually.” He began slowly, seeing surprise in those emerald eyes of hers, “When the ship crashed, I was convinced that you had died. I had been living all these years thinking you were dead.” He started explaining. “Okay, there were those ten years I am missing because I had been in cryo, but in the end, it doesn’t matter if you spent two or ten years mourning. I am struggling the same as you with those feelings.”

 

He didn’t know when he did it or why, but he had pulled Carolina into a tight hug while talking, “I was as surprised as you when I found out that there are friends and my love on the planet we crashed on. I was convinced I would never see you again. Besides that, it was never planned for me to be out of it for so long. I had planned on waking up after my clone died and immediately going to look for you to build up a new life with you away from Freelancer, away from—” He didn’t get further in his rambling, as his lips suddenly were sealed with those of Carolina kissing him fiercely.

 

He couldn’t help but notice that she was looking even more gorgeous close up. What was off, however, were the huge tears rolling down her face. And the fact that her kiss felt desperate, as if there’s something she urgently needed and only got when she was kissing him.

 

For now, however, he decided to not inquire on that more than necessary. He just closed his eyes and replied to the kiss.

 

That was something they had never done back in the Project. Probably because anyone could have accused Carolina of being influenced by York while being in a relationship with him That was the main reason why they never kissed, never went over the amicable closeness, small smiles, and fond discussions that only happened when they had been amongst themselves.

 

Dropping one of his hands, he wrapped it around Carolina’s hips and pulled her flush into his chest while the other hand went up to her cheek, cupping it. His thumb stroked over her perfectly defined cheekbone.

 

Their lips were moving in perfect synch to each other, York getting a bit bolder after some moments and slipping a tongue into her mouth. She replied immediately, both of them soon starting a tongue dance. However, neither of them seemed to be able to become the more dominant part.

 

When they separated, York kept her close, pulling her into another hug to make her lean against him.

 

He felt large tears drop on his shoulders, but he didn’t comment on them. He couldn’t even start to imagine what kind of emotional pressure she had accumulated during those years she thought him to be dead. It all seemed to slowly resurface and break its way out of her now, making her cry and cry due to all those feelings now coming back up again.

 

Her shoulders were shaking slightly and York could hear her sob quietly every now and then, but it wasn’t a loud crying like others might do. She was quiet when she wasn’t commanding the guys around.

 

She was self-confident and kept herself straight all the time, but when being off-duty, she wasn’t a loud kind of woman. She would often talk to him in a low voice, so low that only York sitting directly beside her could understand it.

 

“I love you, Carolina. I always have, even before the Project.” York started, huffing lowly in an amused manner when he suddenly realized something, “I guess it was love at first sight. I was whipped when I noticed you standing beside me. You have quite a stunning personality. You’re strong, clever, strong-willed and a great leader, yet you are kind, gentle and gorgeous if you’re not the fearsome leader I always respected so much.” York pulled a face like having bitten into a lemon, “Although I never really acted like I was doing that, I guess.”

 

The woman snorted at that, “Yeah, but that’s just the way you are. Like Wyoming’s knock-knock-jokes.”

 

This time York groaned, “Don’t remind me of those. I am pretty glad he’s gone since I definitely would kill him now for cracking just another one of those jokes.”

 

The happy smile he was wearing only got broader when he heard Carolina start laughing, her face still tucked into his neck.

 

They stood like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company until York said, “You mind if we go back? I guess I need some more rest and maybe a pill for my headache.”

 

Carolina lifted her head and looked at him, “Why didn’t you say something before?” She obviously already knew that he had a headache even before they went out of the infirmary room.

 

“And miss out on what happened? Not even with both of my legs broken!” He returned at her exclamation, to which Carolina again started laughing.

 

“Okay, point for you, York. Now let’s get you back into bed.” With that, she started pulling him towards the door with their hands intertwined.

 

Passing by the nurse’s room, Carolina shortly asked for some pain medication for York’s headache, also informing them that North maybe will need that too upon waking up.

 

In their room, York noticed that the shadow that had been next to North’s cot was gone.

 

Looking over there, he blinked.

 

“What’s up?” Carolina asked, looking into the direction of York’s stare and trying to see something.

 

“I thought I saw a shadow standing beside North’s cot when I woke up, but I guess my mind was just playing some tricks on me.” York replied, sitting down just when the nurse showed up and gave him the medication.

 

When the nurse left after putting some of the medication on North’s nightstand too, Carolina spoke up.

 

“Actually, there was someone.” She explained, sitting on the bed beside York.

 

He looked at her silently, prompting Carolina with his glance to continue, “Mac was there for quite some time. I don’t know from where she knows North, but she didn’t say a word and I got the feeling like she didn’t want to talk about it.”

 

York nodded at that. North had told him about once having had a girl after Freelancer. Maybe this had been her? But aside from a ton of Alaena’s who were called Ala running around, there wasn’t someone who was called Ala and who had had the real name of Alaska. So he didn’t suspect it was her.

 

Maybe she was just someone else who came over to keep an eye on them. Possibly a medic in training or something. Or the guys Wash had been with for the last couple of years had decided to watch over them in shifts, so neither of them would be alone upon waking up.

 

Emptying his glass, he could hear Carolina yawn lowly.

 

“Tired?” He asked, putting the glass away and carefully stretching his limbs.

 

“Yeah, I guess I am going to bed now.” She replied with a dull note to her voice and got up, only to be held back again by York.

 

“The bed is wider than the one back in Freelancer, so how about staying?” He offered.

 

“You’re in the infirmary.” Carolina countered, but York could see a slight blush spread over her face.

 

“I have not a single broken bone, nor any stab or bullet wounds.” He retorted.

 

Carolina frowned at that, “Isn’t it going to be awkward when North wakes up?”

 

Okay, now Carolina definitely was embarrassed.

 

“He’s known since the Project that we have a thing for each other… we’re talking about North here, at least. And the others knew too. Fuck, even the rookie knew.” He laughed at that when he remembered the rather embarrassing situation where Wash had asked him about the situation between the two of them.

 

It was silent for a long time, until Carolina exhaled, taking a step towards the cot, “Okay, move over.”

 

“What?” York blinked, baffled at having such an easy win.

 

“I said move over or do you want me to go to my room and sleep alone now?”

 

How fast the tables could turn, he thought. Only moments ago he had been the one teasing Carolina and now she turned it around without much effort.

 

A grin appeared on his lips

.

“Nope, I prefer you being close to me.” He replied, pulling her over and lying down at the same time.

 

He was lying on his back while Carolina was lying tucked into his right side, head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest with their fingers intertwined there. York’s other hand was around her waist and keeping her close.

 

“York?” It already had gotten calm and York was about to drop off, when he heard Carolina calling for him.

 

He made an acknowledging sound, indicating to her that he was listening.

 

“I love you too.” She muttered silently, squeezing his hand that she had her fingers intertwined with gently.

 

Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

“I am glad to hear that. Now let’s get some rest.”

 

With an ‘uh-huh’ sound from Carolina, they both closed their eyes and soon were off into their individual dreamlands.


	21. Chapter 21

Two weeks had passed since the assault, and almost everyone was back on duty.

Well, almost everyone. There were the injured people in the infirmary still.

Returning from the funeral of two of her lieutenants, Mac walked with her other kids back to the training area that they had been training at regularly.

Manthey and Fayes had died defending their home. 

Manthey died protecting another soldier by shooting an attacking enemy, but he had given up his hiding spot with that action.

Stephenson had been attacked by an enemy soldier and most likely would have been killed if it hadn’t been for Manthey.

Stephenson and Manthey had been good friends and Manthey knew that Stephenson would marry soon, maybe in another two or three weeks from now on. On top of that, Mac had heard that Stephenson’s fiancée was pregnant and about into the fifth month by now.

Manthey had been single and gladly gave his life to protect his best friend in order to make it possible that his kid would have a father growing up. Most of the kids here would grow up without a dad or a mom being there for them. Some of them had neither of them. It was a bit of a privilege to have parents at this time.

So it was not surprising when Kimball announced Manthey would be posthumously promoted to the next rank and given a medal for his bravery.

Stephenson took over the task to accept the medal and honor instead of Manthey.

It was a given thing here that the saved party or a close person to the deceased would take over the task to remember the dead person’s honorable actions when they sacrificed themselves in the line of duty.

Fayes died because he hadn’t been paying enough attention when walking down to the ammunition deposit, taken out by an enemy sniper.

He had left a girlfriend behind who was still standing at his grave alone, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She looked horrible.

Mac could understand that feeling and had also told her that, but that was something many people around here would tell her. She needed to go her own way.

Days later, she would learn that Fayes’ girlfriend, Cathy, couldn’t take the pain from losing him and had committed suicide. She was later buried next to him.

The black-haired woman could only hope that they would both be doing better in the place they were at now.

Entering the hall, she could see her other lieutenants standing there right next to a weapon armory, locked tight and with only her having the key to it.

With her usual commanding manner, she took up position in front of the guys.

“Lieutenants, attention.” The kids stood straight, saluting at her command. There were many people standing around, although they weren’t allowed to enter the channel that she was currently using to talk to the guys.

For once, she wouldn’t walk up and down in front of the kids. She would stand straight, just the way she was used to from military training back on Earth when standing easy.

“I had been training you for the last months in sniping and I know it wasn’t always easy with me as CO.” She started, almost being able to see the insecure glances being exchanged between the lieutenants,  
“I was going extra hard on you by far, filtering out only the best of you to train. Even after that, I wasn’t going easy on you because I wanted you to be prepared for the fight you faced a week ago.”

Looking at each of the guys, she could feel the nervous tension radiating off of the kids.

“Stand at ease.” She then released her poor kids, every one of them relaxing but still standing straight.

“I taught you what I knew. I showed you tactics, maneuvers, and tricks for shooting, although,” she lifted her voice and could see with a small smile that the kids stood up even straighter, “There’s one last thing I haven’t told you.” She once again looked each and every one of the kids in the eyes, or in the visor in this case, “The most important thing is to always use your head and don’t forget what you learned.” She tapped at her helmet with a smile, “If you’re not following every order blindly and think the plans through with your CO and never forget what you learned, you’ll be safe.”

With that, she walked over to the armory and unlocked it, revealing for each of the kids a sniper rifle—their very own ones.

“Congratulations. You all successfully passed the education process and will get your own sniper rifle.” She motioned to the rifles, brand new and shining freshly polished in the artificial light, “Treat it well. Because this one here is your life insurance in a battle situation.”

She started calling up each of the kids’ names, each of them stepping forward and accepting the sniper rifle handed to them by Mac and returning to their original position afterwards.

Miles, Giovanni, Baker, Culling, Ando, Jackson, Raleigh, and Lynch.

All fine soldiers and well-trained snipers now.

When all of them were back in line, she turned back one more time, “In any case, if you ever need advice or help with preparing for a mission, never hesitate to ask for any of the snipers’ advice. I can only speak for myself, but I will always help you, even when you’re not my pupils anymore.”

The Lieutenants were all standing at ease, each of them having their rifles beside their right leg.

“I’m proud of you all. You did well.” Standing straight and saluting her kids, she added, “Lieutenants, dismissed!”

Her kids all saluted her in return with a loud “Yes, ma’am!”

When both parties, the lieutenants and Mac, relaxed out of the salute, the kids started cheering and congratulating each other on their passed education.

When leaving the hall about half an hour later as the lieutenants had spontaneously included her in their cheering, she could see Tucker leaning against the wall beside the door.

She didn’t stop walking until she was a bit away, Tucker trailing along after her.

“Pretty moving speech over there.” He stated with his usual cocky attitude.

Mac gave him the finger for his sarcastic comment.

Tucker had come over to her and apologized for the shitty behavior he had shown right after the assault and for her being angry with him.

In the end, she couldn’t be too angry with him for long. He was a good guy, and everyone had flaws. Nobody was perfect.

Tucker trailed alongside her, trying to keep up with her speed.

“Seriously, Mac. You said exactly what I would want to say to my lieutenants when they got to this point. You brought them up pretty fast since you started training them.” Tucker got serious after his initial sarcasm.

“I want them to be prepared when they head into the fight. They shouldn’t go out unprepared and just become another target.” She replied at that.

Tucker nodded along to that comment, both now slowly strolling over to the mess hall since it was about time for dinner.

“You really like them, huh? I felt like you were talking to a bunch of kids rather than soldiers.”

Mac sighed at that, “They are more or less my kids. Or… They have been.” She shrugged at that, “Because of… You know.” She ended, shrugging again a bit helplessly.

“I get it, Mac. I get it.” They bumped their shoulders together amicably, Mac sending Tucker an unseen smile.

“Now are you ready to hit on some hot guys? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” Tucker brought in his favorite line, making Mac laugh and roll her eyes.

“You’re such an imbecile asshole, you know that?” She shoved him while laughing.

Tucker chimed in soon after that with “I know… and I know you love me, sis.”

“You better not say that too loudly unless you want Wash to become jealous.”

Tucker snorted at that, before obviously making a contemplative face. It wasn’t really visible because he still had his helmet on, but after years and years of reading each other’s body language through armor, you could read them like an open book.

“Hey, you gave me an idea…” his voice indicated that he really was contemplating making Wash jealous.

“You better leave me out of that. I don’t want to end up as a rag rug in front of Wash’s bunk because he sees me as his enemy.” She replied dryly, looking over the mess hall only to see a familiar figure wearing violet and green armor.

She stopped dead in her tracks, Tucker taking another two steps before stopping too.

“Mac? What’s up?” He asked, looking confused and following the line of her sight only to end on North.

“You know what, I forgot to report to Kimball about the promotion earlier. See you tomorrow!” Turning on her heels, Mac started to walk off quickly without looking as though she was bolting from the scene.

“What—oh for fuck’s sake! Mac, come back!” Tucker shouted, turning around and looking to the corner the woman just disappeared around.

Seriously, how could this woman be so complicated? Sure, he could understand her reasoning for not telling him yet but it was starting to become ridiculous! As if North didn’t notice that she was acting off. That wasn’t a behavior any normal human being would show.

Cursing under his breath, he walked over to the counter to get some food and afterwards over to the table they all usually were sitting at.

Putting the tray down, he sat down besides Wash. The Freelancer was obviously already on his third apple, given the remnants of the other two lying on the tray and the third in his hand.

“Yo, Wash. Do you seriously only live on apples?” he asked after having pulled off his helmet and put it down on the bench beside him. Shaking out his dreads, he pulled them up in a ponytail to not have them in his face while eating.

Wash, currently chewing on a bite, only lifted an eyebrow.

“Dude, we already asked the rookie that back in the Project.” York stated, he and North obviously having decided to join them here for dinner.

Wash threw the locksmith a withering glare at being called a rookie.

“So far, we never got an answer though.” North chimed in, taking a swig from his water bottle.

Tucker made an affirmative grunt, shoveling a forkful of pasta into his mouth. For once, it didn’t smell so bad. 

“What’s so bad about me liking apples?” Wash asked after swallowing a bit of the fruit in question.

“Nothing.” North replied, “But, you know, you mostly only eat apples. We’re just worried about you not having enough energy for all the training and stuff.” North informed him calmly, closing the water bottle and putting it on the table.

“I haven’t had any problems so far.” The steel and yellow-armored soldier replied.

“Not yet.” York chimed in.

Tucker made an affirmative sound, earning another dirty look from his boyfriend.

North, having sensed the tension, obviously decided to change the subject. But not for the better, however.

“It looked like Mac forgot something?” he asked casually, though Tucker could feel his eyes on him —reading every piece information he could get out of Tucker.

The aqua-armored soldier started coughing, but he was able to cover it up by acting like he choked on a bit of pasta.

When he was able to talk again, Tucker then replied, “Yeah, it was something to do with the promotion of her lieutenants. They finished their education as snipers today. Guess there’s nothing more to show them.” He explained evenly, deciding not to give any more information about her than that.

“I see.” North replied, still acting casually but obviously up to something, “I just have this feeling like she’s avoiding me.” He stated.

Tucker could feel Wash press his leg up against his own at that.

Playing the nonchalant asshole, Tucker grinned, “Nothing against you, buddy, but I am the chick magnet here. Guess she only decided to not get any of your hopes up. She’s kinda hot.”

At that, he received a kick from Wash and replied immediately to it with a kick back.

York lifted an eyebrow at that little quarrel, but didn’t say a word since Carolina sat down at their table and began consuming the locksmith’s full attention after that.

“You know, North.” Carolina began after kissing York hello, “Mac’s kind of special. She’s reluctant to warm up to anyone in general. Just give her some time. She’ll come around eventually.”

Although not knowing what had happened in her past, Tucker was glad Carolina managed to dissolve North’s suspicion at least a bit although not completely.

***

After the dinner, Tucker and Wash went up to their rooms to shower and switch into their civilian clothes before meeting up again at Wash’s.

Upon entering the room, Tucker could see that Wash was just about to slip into the top of his civvies.

Closing the door with a mischievous grin, he walked over to the Freelancer and wrapped his arms around Wash’s waist before placing a kiss between his shoulder blades which made the Freelancer shudder.

“Since when are you so sneaky?” the older male asked with an amused glint in his eyes when he looked over his shoulder down at Tucker still placing kisses on his back.

“Since forever. I just don’t always see the urge to be.” He replied, placing another kiss on this spot before letting go of the Freelancer and letting him slip into his shirt.

“You think North notices something?” the younger male asked after a while, still standing in the room and looking out of the window.

“He always had been the most empathic out of us in the Project.” Wash’s started, “If it hadn’t been for Carolina today, I doubt he would have let it go so easily.” Rubbing a spot on his right upper arm, the Freelancer also looked out of the window while pondering over the situation at hand, “Although I have to ask myself if she knows.”

“I am sure she doesn’t. Maybe she just picked up on Mac not being on really good terms with North for some reason and tried to make North not worry so much about it?” Tucker offered as a suggestion when he declined Wash’s notion about Carolina knowing.

“Probably. Although that’s unlikely of her.” The blond replied, still looking contemplative.

“I think,” Tucker said at length, “You have to get used to a new Carolina since she’s with York.”

Wash snorted at that, “You’re right. She’s changed quite a bit since they got their act together. I only hope Mac and North will soon too.”

“Who are you telling that?” Tucker sighed at that.

“Given their past, I can understand her being reluctant towards North.” Wash stated quietly.

“Uh-huh, pretty heavy load there.” The younger male replied, leaning against Wash.  
The Freelancer laid an arm around the dark-skinned man, “You can say that. I only hope she’s eventually able to tell him the truth.”

“Yeah, I hope so too…” Tucker muttered.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmons~

“You’re acting strange.”

“Am not.”

“Uh-huh, which is why you’ve been running away from me all the time for the last… let me guess, three or four weeks?” The snark in Grif’s voice was obvious.

“I am not!” the redhead sitting beside him insisted, “I— uh— just have a lot to do.” He replied. Or more lied, which Grif suspected him of doing.

 

North observed the two while acting as though he was eating. He already knew that there was something going on between the two of them, but the orange clad guy, Grif, was right.

 

Simmons, the redhead, was acting rather strangely compared to his usual behavior.

 

He hadn’t seen much of them given the fact that he hadn’t been around for more than two months, but these two were rather easy to figure out.

 

That they were dancing around each other was rather unusual. And that seemed to worry Grif, although he seemed to prefer playing the nonchalant asshole rather than actually show his concern outright.

 

“And what do you have to do that is oh-so-important?”

 

North could tell that Grif was inquiring not only because he was curious. He had the distinctive feeling that he was trying to provoke Simmons into some kind of reaction, although North couldn’t say exactly what this reaction was supposed to look like.

 

“I have to check on the inventory for the latest findings from one of the alien temples!” Simmons was now definitely squawking.

 

Given Grif’s expression, this was a rather blatant lie and it didn’t look like Simmons was very good at lying.

 

“For the what? Fifth time since they came in three days ago? Quite a score there. I don’t think anything is going to disappear or just walk away.” The Hawaiian, as North had found out he was, looked rather aggressive just then although his behavior currently was more of one of passive aggression.

 

“You never know!” Simmons retorted to that, “Caboose manages to set an unplugged microwave on fire!”

 

“Fair point.” Grif muttered. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re doing a check every… half a day? A bit too much control for my liking.” He continued.

 

“I also do other things!” North noticed Simmons getting more and more flustered when it came to Grif’s aggression.

 

“Such as?” Grif’s expression showed clearly that he wanted a real reason for Simmons being constantly working his ass off and not just that the redhead was doing some kind of chores all the time.

 

“I do inventory on all the things around here! And I do chores, otherwise I would be drowning in your mess that you leave in our shared room!” The cyborg returned.

 

Strange. Didn’t every one of the guys have his own room? At least Wash, Mac, Tucker, Caboose, Sarge and Donut had.

 

As North blinked a bit in surprise, Tucker snorted beside the two guys at the Freelancer’s obvious confusion, “Our married couple here have been sharing a room for forever. They’re inseparable.”

 

“No, we’re not.” Both Simmons and Grif said in unison.

 

“Yeah, sure… whatever.” Tucker flipped them off with a dismissive hand wave and returned his attention back to his plate to eat his food.

 

So that was it.

 

It looked as though they had been bunking together for so long that being separated from one another made it hard for them to fall asleep. He could somehow relate to that feeling.

 

After having newly arrived at the Project and having a room on his own, he had to get used to sleeping alone. He had always shared a room with his sister and not hearing her breathing in the night was something he first had to get used to, which led to him not having slept much during the first days of the Project due to that as well as his nervousness over what would await him.

 

Back in the present, he could see Simmons getting up briskly.

 

It was obvious that both of the guys had continued with their argument while he had been lost in his thoughts until the redhead had decided to take the back exit and retreat.

 

“You know what? Fuck you. I’m going to check over things again. For the sixth time!” the usually rather awkward nerd hissed, leaving the room with a brisk pace and not even caring to put away his tray.

 

It was silent for a moment as the only Freelancer of the bunch along with Tucker and Grif sat there in uncomfortable silence, none of them wanting to say anything just then.

 

The aqua-clad soldier obviously got the hint and got up from the table, “I guess I’m going to get warmed up for training the lieutenants.” He muttered, grabbing his and Simmons’ tray as he left the mess hall.

 

None of the other soldiers dared to sit too close to the guys since Grif’s glowering aura kept them at bay.

 

Finishing his own dish, North looked over to the only remaining soldier of the Blood Gulch Crew who was still eating, but obviously looked as though he had lost his appetite… which was a rare occurence as far as he knew.

 

“It looks like Simmons is rather busy?” North started, trying to strike up a conversation.

 

The orange-clad soldier snorted, “He’s just pretending to be and working his ass off to get away from something. That’s his usual coping mechanism. He’ll come out of his shell eventually.” He replied deliberately.

 

“Are you sure about that?” North didn’t buy Grifs explanation.

 

“It’s always like that.” He put his fork on his dish, having lost his appetite for real now.

 

“Up until now, you mean. Don’t get me wrong: you guys have known each other for quite a while, but this situation seems somehow different to me.” North tried to get his point across.

 

“You’re right. I know him best. And I say he’s going to come out of his shell eventually.” Grif now also got up and left the mess hall, leaving a rather confused North sitting there.

 

While pondering over what he had just witnessed, someone put a tray down beside him. There was only one person he knew who would do that.

York.

 

“Are you trying to play psychiatrist again?” He asked, cutting off a bit of meat from his dish and shoving it into his mouth with a contended hum.

 

North threw him a dirty glare, “I’m not playing psychiatrist. I am trying to help.”

 

“Sometimes people prefer figuring things out on their own, without having someone to help them.” York stated, shoveling a forkful of vegetables into his mouth. It looked like broccoli, but tasted like onions. Strange when you’re used to a certain taste.

 

“Maybe.” North replied, preferring to stay vague on that subject.

 

“Believe me. Grif prefers sorting shit out himself.” York stated after swallowing, impaling another bunch of broccoli-onion with his fork.

 

“Grif maybe, but I doubt Simmons does. I have the distinctive feeling that he is struggling with something else, which is playing into his actual behavior.” Contemplating over what he had learned about the redhead and what he had just seen, he heard York snort.

 

“You’re worse than that crazy Doctor Grey in the infirmary when it comes to trying to figure people out.”

 

“I am trying to help.” the older Freelancer insisted again.

 

“Sure, whatever you say.” York replied, noticing that he could just as easily be talking to a wall just then and getting the same response from it as from North currently.

 

His friend had made up his mind and wanted to help. Idiot. At some point he was going to get himself into trouble if he continued keeping that up.

 

North sighed, cleaning up his plate from the remnants of this odd broccoli-onion thing and deciding to take his leave then since Carolina had just shown up in the entrance of the mess hall and York would be preoccupied with his girlfriend from there on.

 

He left his friends with a quick “Bye.”

 

North exited the mess hall, heading over to the storage unit where he suspected the redhead would be checking inventory in. He thought about what had just happened.

 

It was strange.

 

For only knowing the guys for such a short amount of time, he could tell that Simmons’ behavior had changed. He couldn’t say when that had happened exactly, but it had suddenly seemed to change some time ago.

 

If he had to take a guess, he would say that it changed some days after Tucker and Wash had become a couple.

 

So was _that_ the reason? Was Simmons really acting strange because of that? Did he maybe have a crush on Wash or something?

 

North had already noticed that Simmons tended to be a suck-up to Wash and any other superior, and that he was extremely awkward when it came to talking to women.

 

So was that the reason? Was he lovesick because his crush got a boyfriend and was obviously happy and totally in love?

It was a possibility, at least.

 

Meandering over to the storage halls, he could see Tucker running laps with a familiar steel and yellow-armored figure running beside him—both of them obviously just enjoying being around each other.

 

Somewhere in the distance, he could see the blue and white-armored figure of Mac talking to one of her former pupils.

 

North had to admit it: whoever she had learned sniping from must have been an amazing guy. Someone he would have loved to have had as an instructor, even.

 

It seemed like the soldier was now teaching her pupils the same way that her instructor had her. Not only teaching them the techniques, but also teaching her pupils the things it takes to be a sniper, on what to look for, and what philosophy comes with the territory. And most importantly of all, of which he was rather surprised to learn she did, she was teaching them to use their brains out on the field—no matter what their captain said.

 

She disappeared into a training hall after her former pupil, Jackson, left.

 

Now arriving at the hall that he had been walking up to, he shoved the thoughts of everyone else but Simmons aside and entered the hall.

 

In the first moment that he entered the space, he was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff in there. It all looked somewhat cleaned up and in order, but he couldn’t imagine someone still having to overview all of the stuff in there.

 

The redhead who was sitting on a desk in the back of the hall obviously did have to do so, although he wasn’t doing the previously mentioned inventory check.

 

Walking up to the redhead, he let his boots clank on the metal ground a bit louder than he usually would walk, only to alert the redhead to his presence so as to not give him a heart attack.

 

This brought up a memory of him once having startled Ala so much that he had said something about having a heart attack before thirty should he keep that attitude up.

 

Shaking his head slightly, he pushed the memories of her into the back of his mind. Theta became somewhat restless whenever North thought of her now.

 

Every other day he would inquire about that, but he noticed that Theta wasn’t going to say what was up rather earlier in the infirmary. After waking up there after Theta had inadvertently caused him to drop into unconsciousness, he had tried to get it out of the little Fragment. But Theta was stubbornly refusing to say anything on the topic, only muttering something about having promised someone to do so.

 

Since North felt like this was an extremely important thing to Theta, he didn’t inquire more on the subject. He just asked Theta to tell him eventually, when he was ready and able to do so. Theta seemed relieved about North not inquiring any further than that.

 

Sitting down on the empty chair beside the table that he suspected had originally been put there for Grif in the first place, he saw Simmons’ shoulders stiffening at his presence there.

 

“I am impressed that you are still willing to overview all of the shit in here. I wouldn’t even know where to find a Warthog if any of them were hidden in this place.” He started off, immediately noticing Simmons’ shoulders relaxing as a smile spread over the other man’s face.

 

“You— You think? Thanks, sir!”

North made a face at the enthusiastic exclamation, “Just leave it at North. Sir always makes me feel old.” He replied with a chuckle.

 

Simmons blinked, a bit confused, but then nodded, “Okay, North.”

 

It was silent for a while, Simmons focusing on his notebook again before speaking up, “Can I ask you something, si— North?”

 

“Sure, shoot.” With a gentle smile, he waited for the redhead to continue.

 

“You know, there’s something I have been asking myself for quite some time,” Simmons started, “But I never could talk with Grif about it though.” This time he heaved out a sigh, “Do you think that I— that I am bad?” he gulped, “That I am wrong?”

 

This caused North to look at him for quite a while, until Simmons started to fidget uncomfortably and North averted his gaze.

 

“I don’t know you that well currently.” North started, seeing Simmons’ shoulders slumping, “But from what I know, you are a nice young man. You’re loyal to your team and your friends, you’re a part of a group of friends and everyone accepts you the way you are. So I don’t see a reason why you should think that.” North explained what he knew of the redhead so far, “Sure you have your quirks, but every one of the Blood Gulch members and the soldiers in general here on the base have their quirks, so I don’t see a problem there. I, for my part, like you.” The Freelancer gently stated, looking over to the redhead with another gentle smile.

 

It was replied to with a smile by Simmons himself, “Thanks, North.”

 

“You’re welcome,” He replied, his face now turning a bit more serious, “But why did you ask me that… if I am allowed to ask?”

 

This again caused the redhead to fidget uncomfortably, “I… My dad wasn’t really okay with me. I guess the best I ever did was signing up to the military academy to help earn my college degree on biomechanics. He… left a bit of a trauma when it comes to my person.” Simmons explained, only giving away a part of what had happened in the past.

 

It was enough for North to see his point, though.

 

“So your dad was kind of a jerk then?” He asked, feeling an odd wave of sympathy for the young male.

 

Simmons only nodded at that, “Something like that, yeah.”

 

North laughed lowly at the statement, “I can understand that, actually.” He replied, making Simmons look up with a surprised, yet curious, glint in his eyes.

 

The Freelancer shrugged at that before answering, “My dad always wanted a girl. So when I and South were born, he always preferred South. His baby, his princess. I always had to stand back. I don’t know when it happened, but even after she became the cynical and sarcastic person she was in the Project he still loved her. Even when she signed up for the army. He had quite a bit of a say when it came to me signing up too since he wanted me to keep an eye on her.”

 

“I see. So he was kind of a jerk too?” Simmons asked, getting North’s point as well.

 

The older male laughed again, “You could say that, yes.”

 

“Given both of your characters, as far as I have heard from Wash and you, I would have suspected South of being the one to have gotten overlooked.” The redhead muttered, his ears immediately turning red, “Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean—“

 

But North waved him off with another laugh.

 

“It’s okay. I’ve already been told that before.” He snorted again when he thought about York saying the same thing during the Project when his friend had learned of his past, “Since South has been dead for quite a while, I consider that a part of my past now too.”

 

Simmons nodded at that, lapsing into a contemplative silence before piping up again, “Wash told you some days ago, didn’t he?”

 

“Huh? About what?” North was a bit taken aback, not knowing what the redhead was talking about.

 

He had been in his own thoughts for a moment. He hadn’t even been talking with Theta since he was keeping himself in the background, but he was just thinking about other things.

 

“About South.” The maroon-clad soldier explained.

 

“Ah…” North replied, “Yes, he did. It stung quite a bit, yeah.” He admitted openly, “But after learning that I had been out for ten years and given South’s general nature, I already suspected something like that might happen. She never ran from a fight.” He explained with a rueful smile, also remembering what she had done to Wash and that the other Freelancer still felt somewhat bad for having killed her.

 

In the beginning, Wash hadn’t felt that way about what had happened, but after having lived with Tucker and the others for a while and getting back to his old self… he had started to feel bad for having killed a friend in general. This became even worse when North showed up and he started feeling bad for having killed his best friend’s sister.

 

North had told him that it was okay and that he shouldn’t beat himself up when his life had been at stake too. At least he also knew his sister’s general character as he had just told Simmons, and he knew how she could be. She always was kind of a backstabber when she thought she could get some kind of benefit out of it.

 

“Speaking of telling someone something.” North then started, looking over to Simmons who stiffened up at that—obviously already knowing what would come next.

“I’ve been noticing that you have been acting strangely for some time now. Did something happen?” North asked point blank then.

 

“N—No! Nothing’s happened! Nothing!” The redhead squawked at that, fiddling nervously with the notebook in his hands.

 

North didn’t reply to that, only looking at the maroon-clad soldier sitting helmetless on the chair in front of him.

 

It didn’t take long for Simmons’ defenses to break, “It’s because of Wash and Tucker.”

 

North immediately knew what he was talking about and that he had been right with a part of his assumption, at least.

 

“You mean about them becoming a couple?” He asked, seeing the other soldier nod.

“I might be being a bit invasive here, but do you have special feelings for either of them?” He again decided to ask his question point blank. It was better than beating around the bush.

 

Simmons looked like he would talk about things whenever he knew that the other person was considerate and wouldn’t judge him.

 

“No!” Simmons exclaimed at that, turning beet red and starting to splutter afterwards. It took him almost a minute to get his bearings back in check before he added with a rather sad smile, “At least not for either of them.”

 

North blinked at that with surprise. This wasn’t how he suspected the conversation to go.

 

“Not for either of them? So, you have special feelings for someone else then?”

 

Again, Simmons only nodded with an almost crestfallen expression on his face.

 

North thought about that for a while, before he suddenly had an idea. It was so obvious, now that he thought about it. Why hadn’t he come to that conclusion earlier?

 

“Grif?” he asked carefully, keeping his voice low so nobody could eavesdrop.

 

Simmons again nodded at that.

 

It was silent for a moment, North giving the redhead some minutes before asking another question, “And Tucker and Wash becoming a couple made these feelings come up again?”

 

“Yeah…” Simmons only muttered at this question, “I have been suppressing these feelings for some time now. He… He’s always lazy, sarcastic, and cynical, but I don’t care. It’s the way Grif is. But he’s also someone who doesn’t seem to care about me more than a friend would. I didn’t want him to feel awkward around me since he’s the only thing that kept me sane during all of those years in the canyon.”

 

A dam must have broken somewhere inside the redhead, since he started talking all of a sudden.

 

“He… always acts like he doesn’t care about me. I don’t think he’s interested in me. At least not with a person as wrong as I am.” He continued.

 

“You mean because of your dad? I take it he was a bit homophobic?” The blond male asked carefully.

 

“Scratch the ‘bit’ part.” Simmons replied with a sad smile.

 

“Okay, so he was a homophobic asshole who made you think you’re wrong because you like men? I guess that also explains why you’re not so great when it comes to talking to girls?” This made a lot of sense for North.

 

Given Simmons’ past, he was reacting in the way that always seemed to work for him as a coping mechanism during the last several years. Retreat, hide under a pile of work, and work his ass off until the problem solved itself.

 

Simmons nodded, “He even signed me up on the girls’ volleyball team because he said that if I like boys then I am a girl and should play on the girls’ team.”

 

North only shook his head to that, “What a jerk.” This guy sounded worse than his own dad.

 

Simmons nodded.

 

“So, in any case, because of having been told for years that you’re wrong… you’re insecure about telling Grif?” North continued along the trail of thoughts that had started to form in his brain just then.

“Yeah, more or less.” Simmons agreed, “And I am pretty sure that Grif is straight so there’s another point against telling him. I just don’t want to make it awkward by telling him that I like him as more than just a friend.”

 

North sighed. How well he knew _that_ part. Again, he thought of almost having lost _her_ back then which actually gave him an idea, “I would try nonetheless.”

 

Simmons looked up at that.

 

“I once had a girlfriend. Before all of the cryo shit happened.” He began, trying to focus on that and not getting lost in his memories of Ala.

 

Theta again started to get restless.

 

“Well, in any case, I also did not want to make it awkward and shit by overwhelming her with my confession that I loved her. In the end, I almost lost her as a friend and lover because I was too reluctant to do so and fucked things up majorly. So I advise you to rather give it a shot instead of simply hiding it. You’re going to regret it more if something happens and you haven’t told him how you really feel than if you tell him and get rejected.”

 

North sighed and swallowed, moistening his dry throat, “You are both grown men. You’ll get over a rejection. And if your bond of friendship is as strong as you believe it is, then it’ll survive something like that too.”

 

At that, the redhead made a face, “I don’t know.” Still fiddling with the notebook in his hands, he didn’t seem to notice that there was someone else in the room then too.

 

North had noticed a flash of orange before, but thought that this was a trespassing soldier who was on his way to get something from the armory nearby.

 

Turning his head around, he could see now that it was Grif.

 

He still had his helmet on, but given his rigid posture just then, North was fairly certain that he had heard enough.

 

With a low groan, the Freelancer got up which caused Simmons to look up as well, “I actually didn’t plan on it happening like this, but I guess it is for the best that you’re sorting this out since both of you at least know your side of the story now.”

 

At that, Simmons’ head whipped around so fast that North was pretty positive that he got whiplash as a result of that.

 

It was only a second later that his eyes grew incredibly wide, and his face turned so red that his hair looked pale compared to it.

 

“Simmons.” North leaned over to the redhead to tell him something in private without it looking _too_ close to the other man standing there, “I didn’t want this to happen, but I am positive he heard enough. So be honest with him for once, okay?”

 

Simmons nodded to that with a defeated sigh.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of Grimmons <3  
> Enjoy :)

Grif didn’t really know what he should think of this whole shit show right now.

Simmons had been behaving strange for the last days. He didn’t know what happened or when, but the redhead suddenly started to act completely opposite to his usual behavior.

He was giddy, nervous, fled whenever someone said something about a couple, especially Wash and Tucker – Okay, agreed, that was normal for Simmons, but not _that_ excessive.

 

Anyway, today when they again were talking about shit, Grif offered for both of them to shirk off their duties and go chill somewhere.

That was when it started to get strange. Simmons suddenly was getting all giddy and shit at the prospect of both of them being alone for a while, stammering something about having to do some inventory check for the umpteenth time since it came in and whatnot.

 

Usually, Simmons would hound Grif for being a lazy asshole and letting his friends do all of his work so he could just slack off.

Usually, Grif would tell him then to fuck of.

Usually, Simmons then would reply that he wouldn’t do his shit too he had to, like reports or shit.

Usually, Grif then would tell Simmons to chill out once in a while and he didn’t care if he did or not.

Usually, Simmons would beef like an idiot but do it nonetheless after Grif disappeared to chill out.

Usually, Grif wouldn’t thank Simmons for doing it and Simmons wouldn’t want him to do that.

 

Well, Usually…

 

But this here wasn’t usual. This here was far from usual, given Simmons strange behavior.

Grif couldn’t put a finger on what it was or when it happened. Fact was, it happened some days ago and since then he was all kinds of strange.

 

Since they were sharing a bunk, Grif also knew that Simmons wasn’t sleeping well or much. He would toss and turn, or sometimes just lay on his back and stare up to the ceiling for hours. If he was sleeping, he was jerking up at every sound or whatever else reason he had to wake up.

 

It was annoying, but Grif decided to not want to give the other shit by calling him out on his strange behavior and just kept on snoozing away in his cot.

 

Well, the awkward train didn’t stop in their shared dorms, it continued down to his favorite hobby, eating. Simmons was all strange today, Grif even getting the impression that it got worse whenever Tucker or Wash or both of them were around. It was strange, but Grif again decided against intervening and having to possibly do work or some other shit.

 

Well, today also was this North-guy around. As far as he had heard of Tucker, he had been the mother hen of the team back in Freelancer and that he is kind of an empath or something.

Well, this was what it turned out to be when he and Simmons were arguing again. Although this also was some kind of different arguing than usual. It had more venom in it, Simmons was edgier than normal and Grif trying to provoke him wasn’t like him either.

 

And all this things which weren’t usual probably led to the point where Simmons stood up and left because Grif pushed him too far.

 

Usually, he knew how to push his buttons. But at the moment their relationship was far from usual…

 

Entering the storage area he suspected the redhead to be hiding in, he directly went to the back of the huge hall where a desk was. Usually Simmons was sitting there, having a chair close for Grif to plop down when he felt like joining the redhead.

 

When he came closer to the desk, he noticed that North was sitting there. Immediately he started feeling giddy and on edge with the guy sitting on the place he usually sat. Again this fucking usually. Northing was usual at the moment!

 

But what he heard made him stop dead in his tracks.

 

They obviously were in the middle of discussing something when he dropped in.

 

And what he heard made his blood freeze and boil hot in the same time. Okay, he had to agree with Tucker. North was a miracle worker when it came to interpersonal stuff and talking to even difficult people like Simmons could be at times.

 

What he heard however made the blood shoot in his face and his heartrate pick up drastically.

 

Well, that explained at least why nothing was usual at the moment.

 

Tucker and Wash had become a thing, which wasn’t gone really unnoticed since Tucker had the habit of bragging about it or just clearly showing that he and Wash were a thing by kissing him at the table in the mess. This probably explained the point when Simmons became awkward and why.

 

Because of Tucker and Wash having become a thing and this brought up his feelings for him, Grif, back up and also the memories of his dad always trying to beat out the gay tendencies out of his son or by forcing him to become a girl by forcing him to wear girl clothes (including skirt) and other shit as he now admitted.

 

During their time together Simmons had told Grif quite a bit about his shitty past and it was understandable, even for Grif, that this left a rather huge trauma.

Although he felt embarrassed as fuck about the whole situation at hand and now that he knew how the redhead felt about him, he couldn’t help but understand Simmons situation.

Given his past, he had conflicted feelings inside of him, battling for dominance. The side of his dad having hammered into him that being gay was bad, and the side of Simmons having feeling for his fellow male soldier obviously seem to fight against each other and it was still open which side would win.

 

Although it looked like the gay side was in advantage didn’t mean that this side also would win. They were talking about Simmons at least!

 

When North then turned around and left both of them, without giving Simmons one last piece of advice, obviously, although Grif couldn’t help but feel jealous about their closeness, they both were standing, respectively sitting there, eyeing each other like enemies.

 

“Fucking stupid.” Grif muttered under his breath, giving himself a proper kick in the butt and walked over to his fellow red soldier and sat down on the chair North had occupied moments ago. Simmons had turned back around, although not being able to meet his eyes, staring down on his hands.

 

Opening the clasps on the side of his helmet and unsealing it, Grif heard the typical hiss of air when he took the helmet off and put it down on the desk beside the maroon one of Simmons.

Dragging a hand through his unruly hair, he sighed. “Well, that’s awkward.”

 

“Tell me.” Simmons snorted at that, his face being as red as Grif felt his face was hot.

 

“So…” Grif started slowly after a moment. It was awkward to explain it sugar coated. They were together since years – As friends. And finding that out makes it extremely difficult for him. Sure it wasn’t about the feelings, but the way it came across. The way he found out.

 

“So…” parroted Simmons, neither knowing what he should say.

 

“I…” Grif then decided to clarify something, before they would start from there. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Just you know.” He started, kneading his fingers nervously. “I thought I could come check on you if you calmed the fuck down and, well, walked in on this here.” He made a motion with his hand to illustrate the situation that unfolded minutes ago.

 

“I didn’t think you had been eavesdropping since that would mean do actual fucking work.” Simmons snarked at that, drawing a grin out of the Hawaiian.

“I see you’re going to get back to normal again, huh?” the chubbier man replied with his usual lopsided grin but didn’t lean back into the chair as he usually would. He still was tense and nervous.

 

Bracing his elbows on his knees, he mustered the redhead sitting on the chair in front of him, sneaking a glance every now and then too, but always averting his gaze when their gazes met.

 

Grif sighed at that. “That sucks.” He muttered, fixing Simmons with his glare. “That true what you told North?”

Grif never had been fond of too much words when talking. Why adding an ‘is’ if the sentence was understandable without?

 

Anyway, back in the situation at hand, Simmons looked at him like a dear in the headlights. “You mean about my dad?”

“No dumbass.” Quipped Grif so fast that Simmons blinked, taken aback. “I am talking about your fucking feelings for me.”

 

Simmons still had this dear-in-the-headlights-expression and was looking at him with an expression that he would love to flee in every second possible.

“Uh… Depends, I guess?” He replied, Grif noticing his cautiousness and try to keep everything on an even ground.

“Stop fucking around with me.” Grif growled, Simmons pulling his head between his shoulders like a tortoise and trying to protect himself of Grifs fury.

 

It was silent for another few minutes in which Simmons didn’t reply, only looking at his fellow red soldier with wide eyes.

 

“You know what, fuck you.” Grif grumbled after a moment, fed up with Simmons stalling all the time.

Getting up from the chair he started to leave, only to be held back by someone holding his right wrist. He had heard a chair being shoved back with an audible creak when he was about to turn away, so the person holding his hand could only be one person. And this one person was standing behind him, intensifying the grip slightly on his hand. “Please- Please stay.”

 

Grif remained where he was, not turning back around when he heard the redhead sigh. “Look, it isn’t easy for me, okay?”

Grif snorted at that.

“Turn around.” Grif huffed at Simmons request, stubbornly refusing to turn around.

“Grif please.” Simmons insisted, tugging at his hand. Grif followed the lead with a roll of his eyes.

 

Standing in front of Simmons who still was standing inches in front of the desk and fiddling nervously with his hands.

“Well…” Simmons started after another few moments with a deflating exhale. “You heard about pretty much everything I guess so I at least don’t need to explain that.” He started slowly, still looking down on his hand gripping Grifs as if he could bolt the moment he would let his grip slip.

 

“It’s difficult.” Simmons insisted.

“You mentioned that.” The Hawaiian grumbled in response.

“I know! And it really is!” Grif blinked at Simmons outburst taken aback. He rarely heard the nerd freaking out like he did right now.

“It isn’t easy and I am struggling. You should know best of all given you know all about my shitty past!”

 

Grif stared some more moments at the redhead with wide eyes, before closing them to slowly in- and exhale and count to ten to calm his nerves. “Yes, you’re right. I am sorry.” It was rare for the Hawaiian to apologize and that made the redhead blink. But for once, he shut his trap and listened to what Grif had to say next. “Go on.”

 

It was a simple request, but it was Grifs way of acting. Simmons huffed a bit at that, but complied. “Anyway…” Simmons exhaled. “Yes, it is true, okay? All I said. I just didn’t want to lose you as a friend, okay? Like I told North. You’re the only thing that kept me sane. I didn’t want to ruin that.” The more Simmons kept on, the quieter he got during talking.

 

Grif stood there for minutes, looking at the redhead and trying to gauge his reaction and words and what they meant and if they’re true. The redhead was staring down on his hands. He was kneading his flesh hand with his metal hand so hard that Grif feared he would break his fingers any moment. He didn’t know when the cyborg had let go of his hand, but it was evident now that he was about to break his fingers.

 

“Stop that.” He then muttered, grabbing hold of his human hand and pulling it away of his cyborg hand, before the bones would crack for real. “You’re going to break your fingers.”

 

Simmons was still looking down on their intertwined hand. Grif could see his face turning red again when staring at Grifs hand, tightly clasped around his own hand.

 

I was silent for some time, before Grif finally exhaled. This whole sighting thing had become some kind of a habit in the next minutes. “Look, I might not act on it, but I am not the apathetic asshole who doesn’t care about others. It’s just…” Grif trailed off, thinking about on how to form his next words. “Dunno, it’s kind of a coping mechanism of some sorts.” Grif shrugged against it.

 

“The thing I want to say.” He started, looking at the redhead who still was somewhat evading his looks. “The more I act I don’t care, the more I care. You see what I mean?” He explained. “I like you, okay. More than a friend.”

 

Simmons looked at him, his eyes wide and round and Grif snorted at that. “I’m not a pansy sap like Donut, so I just say I like you okay.” He made clear.

 

It took some moments for the redhead to realize. Grif could see his face change from confused to happy and a huge smile spreading over his face at that.

“I’m no pansy sap either. So let’s keep it at I like you.” He replied at that with his typical nerdy grin when he was able to meet Grifs glance again for the first time in days without looking away embarrassedly or fleeing immediately.

 

That was when Grif suddenly got an idea and started to grin wolfishly.

Immediately, insecurity and fright sparked up in his eyes, making a back step and Grif following suit with a stop forward on his own. During his first step back, Simmons had pulled his human hand out of Grifs grasp, starting to retreat until his back hit the wall. Grif could see that the nerd was extremely uncomfortable and anxious at Grifs strange behavior.

 

Grif however, kept his predatory grin up and didn’t say a word while still approaching the redhead. “Grif?” Asked Simmons with an insecure note to his voice, getting even more uncomfortable with each minute passing. Unfortunately for Simmons, fortunately for Grif however, he had been backed up against the desk and couldn’t flee.

 

“Grif, you’re scaring me.” Simmons meekly said, feeling anxious and pressing up on the desk.

Grif still stood in front of the redhead, their chests almost pressed flush against each other and his face drawing closer with this wolfish grin still plastered on his face.

 

“You afraid?” asked the Hawaiian, seeing Simmons nod and gulp with an uncomfortable feeling settling in his gut. He felt horrible.

 

Grif chuckled at that with a grin, lifting his hand and letting the gloved one trail over Simmons flesh cheek. The nerd had pressed his eyes shut, obviously really afraid.

 

Grif snorted a bit at that, making Simmons open his human eye tentatively. “Seriously, stop peeing your pants.” He stated, closing the space between them and pressing his lips against Simmons. Grif was a bit smaller than Simmons, but not by much. 10 Centimeters tops. So it wasn’t much of a stretch to lean up and kiss his favorite nerd.

 

It took a moment for the redhead to catch up on what happened. Seriously, Grif wondered while trying to get the nerd to reply, how could someone as smart as Simmons be so fucking dense?

 

It took another moment or two, Grif was about to let lose a frustrated sigh and tell the nerd that someone being kissed usually should kiss back, when Simmons eventually replied the kiss with a low sigh.

 

The orange clad soldier chuckled into the kiss and increased the pressure a tiny little bit, just enough for Simmons to make a meek noise in the back of his throat at that.

One of Grifs hands wandered down to the nerd’s hip, pulling him closer there, whilst Simmons hands started to sneak around the shorter man’s neck.

 

It wasn’t long after they had to break to breathe and soon decided to move this to their room to be undisturbed.


	24. Chapter 24

“It’s a foreign language.”

 

There was a transmission flickering across the screen in the war room. There were a few of them in the room. Amongst them were Kimball, North, York, Carolina, Wash, and Mac.

 

It had been Kimball who had made that statement, looking around the room as she did so, “Does anyone know that language?”

 

It wasn’t long before Mac sighed, “Tucker.”

 

Everyone turned around to look at her, surprised.

 

“Why Tucker?”

 

She could especially feel North and Wash’s glances on her, but Mac decided to ignore them in favor of answering Kimball’s question.

 

“It’s Sangheili. Tucker speaks it fluently due to his kid, Junior. He was an ambassador for a while when the Blood Gulch Crew had all been relocated before meeting up again.” She explained quickly, leaving out the details.

 

Kimball and the others could ask the aqua-clad soldier about them soon enough.

 

Kimball nodded at that, “I take it that you understand some of it too?”

 

Mac nodded reluctantly, “Only a few words. Not enough to translate.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie: she understood enough to know what the content of the message was and, most importantly, who transmitted the message.

 

“I would recommend getting Tucker for this message. He’s a lot better with Sangheili than I am.” She explained.

 

Kimball nodded, “Okay, then please go and get him.”

 

Mac was out of the door in the next second and breaking into a run the moment the door to the war room had closed. She didn’t stop until she reached Tucker, who was training the lieutenants.

 

Stepping into the training area, she decided to pull her higher rank than Tucker to get them to go, “Lieutenant’s, another five laps and then you’re dismissed!”

 

Tucker’s head snapped around at that, “What the fuck, Mac?!”

 

Said person didn’t let him rant anymore. She shot the lieutenants a pointed glare to make them leave and grabbed Tucker’s arm to pull him out of earshot. That didn’t actually stop Tucker from ranting, however.

 

When they were around a corner, she turned around and laid both of her hands on his shoulders.

 

Tucker shut up immediately, knowing that something was up.

 

“We got a distress signal. It’s Sangheili.” Albeit not able to see his eyes, she knew that Tucker’s eyes went wide at the implication. The woman tilted her head a bit, “My Sangheili isn’t the best, but ...”

 

Tucker’s posture went rigid.

 

“It’s Junior, and he’s in trouble.”

 

That was all that was needed for Tucker to break out of her gentle grip and all but run to the war room, with Mac on his heels. Upon entering the room, he tore off his helmet.

 

“What’s this about a transmission?!”

 

Everyone looked over at Tucker’s outburst, but the aqua-clad soldier didn’t pay them much mind. Wash looked over to Mac with a curious gleam in his eyes and she shook her head lightly in response. Nobody seemed to notice that since everyone was focused on the young, dark-skinned man.

 

“Show me the transmission!” Tucker demanded.

 

Kimball nodded for once and pressed a button on her desk to replay the message. It was silent for a moment, then a cacophony of guttural noises and syllables echoed through the room again. Tucker listened to it, throwing the blue and white-clad soldier a fearful glance. The tilt to her helmet was meant to be comforting.

 

When the transmission ended, he exhaled.

 

“Is this Sangheili as Mac explained?” Kimball asked, her eyes trained on the aqua-clad soldier who sorrow was rolling off of just then in waves.

 

“Yes.” Tucker said in a tone that was a mix of defeated and tense, “It’s Sangheili. It’s an emergency call from the Temple of Asteroid’s Orbit.”

 

Wash beside him pulled up the map with the Temple of Asteroid’s orbit. The temple was able to influence the asteroids floating around their planet for the better or the worse.

 

Tucker continued, “It said that he’s in trouble and that he needs help.”

 

“He?” Kimball asked simply, listening to the soldier. The Freelancers kept quiet, since Tucker seemed to be in such turmoil.

 

“Yes. He!” Tucker snapped, slamming his flat hand on the table.

 

“It’s a male’s voice!” he insisted, with Kimball only lifting an eyebrow at him.

 

“You’re quite sure about that? To me, the males and females all sound the same.” York then decided to jump in, causing Mac to sigh heavily.

 

Idiot. It wasn’t hard to pick up on Tucker’s obvious distress.

 

Said soldier’s head whipped around, fixing the tan-wearing soldier with a smoldering glare that made him back down a step, “He’s my son, asshole!”

 

The whole room fell dead silent at that.

 

“He’s… your son.” Kimball stated after a while.

 

Tucker was still being restless. Wash and Mac decided to take their spots beside Tucker, keeping said solder between them in silent comfort.

 

“Yes, Junior is my son!” Tucker snapped.

Mac laid a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. Seeing Wash’s arm moving slightly, she was sure that he had grasped Tucker’s hand with the same intention.

 

“I’m not exactly bragging about him since people tend to react like dicks when you tell them that you got impregnated by a fucking alien.” He fumed, Mac intensifying her grip on his shoulder gently.

 

Tucker growled, “How do you think that I got to be a fucking ambassador in the first place?! I didn’t wake up one day and thought ‘Oh hey, I am going to learn Sangheili because it’s one of the most complicated languages in the universe!’”

 

Kimball decided not to pry any further into the matter and looked at everyone in the group. Wash had laid an arm around Tucker’s shoulders and had pulled him close to him as well as a bit into the background to keep him away from the front. Mac had let go of Tucker’s shoulder in the process.

 

Mac decided to speak up since Tucker was too angry to form a coherent sentence.

 

“Junior is, as you all know by now, Tucker’s son. They are both two of the most important ambassadors Sanghelios ever had and It would be a good idea to start a rescue mission. Not only because he’s Tucker’s son, but also because rescuing him would put us on more even ground with the Sangheili colonies living close-by.”

 

Kimball’s glance wandered over to Tucker, who nodded curtly.

 

“They live for honor. If you rescue someone of their tribe, you become something like a brother to them. The more important the person you rescue, the more of a brother you are.” He explained curtly, Mac throwing him a small smile.

 

Given that Tucker’s stance was relaxing, he had gotten the hint.

 

“In any case, I would strongly recommend starting a rescue mission soon. Given the odds, I recommend it being us: the members of the Blood Gulch Crew with the Freelancers for backup. We all know Junior and about alien tech.”

 

It was silent for a moment, and Kimball looked to everyone in the room. All nodded.

 

The leader of Chorus sighed, “Okay, but I will have you take a medic with you. We don’t know how heavily injured Junior is. I will hope for the best for him, but we have to be prepared for the worst. We now have…” With that she checked the clock, “Around fifteen hundred. The rescue mission starts tomorrow at six hundred. Make sure to be ready.”

 

Everyone in the room saluted, with even Tucker doing a proper salute, and soon everyone left.

 

Except for the three figures clad in aqua, blue-white and steel and yellow armor.

 

It was Tucker who spoke up first, “Hey, Kimball?”

 

The leader looked up at that.

 

“Thank you for the mission.”

 

The leader of Chorus, not having worn her helmet this whole time, smiled at him.

 

“Make sure you all come home safe and sound with Junior. Mac is right about this rescue being a good way to increase our diplomatic relations with the Sangheili tribes. Besides, it’s your son and you helped us enough for me to help you when you’re in trouble.” she explained.

 

Taking up her tablet, she silently declared the discussion over with.

 

The three remaining soldiers left the room, Tucker and Wash sealing their helmets in place and opening the already existing private channel between the three of them.

 

“So Junior is your son that you showed me pictures of?” Wash asked, while all three of them decided to go directly to the mess hall for dinner.

 

“Yeah.” Tucker exhaled, feeling the energy drain from him from his former excitement, “He kept on traveling through space and working as an ambassador after I had been relocated back to Blood Gulch.” Tucker explained, all three of them lining up.

 

Mac settled on a sandwich and explained that she was planning on eating in her room later while preparing her weapons.

 

“That’s why you often said that you didn’t know where he is?” Wash was trying not to pry, but he still wanted to get some information out of his boyfriend.

 

“Yep. He often used to send me a message whenever he could from his travels, but lately I haven’t heard from him.” Tucker decided on some mashed potatoes along with something that resembled a sausage and some tomato-like looking courgettes.

 

“I see. So, we’re heading out tomorrow. We better prepare to bring him home safe and sound.” Wash’s voice definitely carried a smile in it but also determination.

 

Tucker’s did too when he replied, “Hell yeah!”

 

Mac took that as her cue to leave, “I’m going to start preparing to get some rest for the night. See you tomorrow, guys.”

 

Wash nodded at that, whereas Tucker asked, “Come on, you can’t always run. You have to tell him eventually.”

 

“I will, Tucker. But with the actual developments at hand, it would only cause him to be distracted and this would be more of a danger to us than a help.” She explained, grabbing the sandwich and deciding on accompanying the guys to the table.

 

Tucker wanted to protest, but Wash cut in, “She’s right, Tucker. It wouldn’t help us in this situation if either of them is distracted.”

 

Tucker’s shoulders slumped slightly at that.

 

“But you’re telling him after this is over and done with, okay, sis?” he asked then in a deflated tone.

 

Mac nodded, “I will. Promise.”

 

“Speaking of promises...” Tucker continued, throwing her a pointed glare, “You didn’t forget the other one you gave me, did you?”

 

Mac snorted at that, “I haven’t, dear little brother,” She explained with a smile, “But the situation doesn’t allow it at the moment. I will do it afterwards, I promise.”

 

Tucker grunted at that, but obviously was okay with her explanation for now.

 

While the two men sat down at the table, she patted both Wash and then Tucker on their backs and left the mess hall with her sandwich, running into North on her way out. She lifted her hand for a casual wave to greet him silently and left, while North entered the mess hall and got some food.

 

Sitting down at the table, he took off his helmet and looked over to Tucker and Wash who were silently eating their food.

 

“So… A kid, huh?” he asked, piercing one of the tomatoes.

 

“Yeah, you have something to say about that?” Tucker snapped, always becoming protective of his son since many of the people he met tended to react with disgust and rejection of Junior. It took Tucker quite a while to get him to ignore those dickwads.

 

“Nothing. I just was surprised. You don’t look like you have had a child.” North explained.

 

Tucker huffed at that, “Want to see the huge scar on my abdomen? Or the blue lines over my upper back and arms from having him?” he snapped.

 

North blinked at that response.

 

“Stop it, both of you.” Wash slammed down his fork with an audible clatter.

 

“Sorry, buddy,” The youngest of the Freelancers looked over to North, “That’s kind of a sore subject and you honestly don’t know enough of us yet to talk about _that_.”

 

North blinked and nodded, a bit taken aback.

 

With that, Wash turned around to Tucker. He deliberately grabbed his chin and turned the dark-skinned man’s head around to make him look into his steel-grey eyes.

 

“Nobody here is either judging your or wanting to take Junior away from you. Calm down. We can’t use you tomorrow if you’re going to be so nervous. You’re going to bring us a whole lot trouble if you’re that anxious.”

 

Tucker stared at his boyfriend for a moment with fury in his eyes, but closed them eventually and took a shuddering breath in and out, “Yeah, yeah, fucking fine. I’ll calm down.”

 

Wash smiled at that and let go of the younger male’s face, letting him continue with his food.

 

Aside from Mac, every member of the crew was sitting around the table and eating happily.

 

Simmons had calmed down now, although Wash couldn’t shake the feeling that him and Grif had finally gotten their act together since Grif and Simmons were acting slightly different than usual. They were still bickering like an old married couple, but there was a new tone of fondness towards one another in both of their voices.

 

Anyways, North obviously got the point without becoming angry, which would be highly unusual for him besides, and decided to change the subject, “It looks like Mac has become better around us newcomers?”

 

Tucker wasn’t really in the mood for talking so Wash had to take over, “Yeah, as Carolina told you, she’ll warm up eventually.” He explained, having become better at lying over the years so North wouldn’t call bullshit the moment he heard that.

 

His fellow Freelancer obviously bought the explanation and nodded, “I am glad she’s feeling more at ease around me.”

 

 _If only you could know…_ Wash thought to himself, answering out loud, “She is, just keep up with what you’re doing. She’s going to come around completely. She had some trouble accepting me too at first.”

 

He cringed inwardly when he remembered how they had actually met after Mac had gotten her new arm. Ouch.

 

***

 

In her room, Mac had just finished her sandwich and started cleaning her weapons. She did the same as she taught her pupils: clean your weapons, keep them in shape, and they will save your ass out there.

 

The movements were so used to her by now that her nimble fingers worked their way fast and effectively through the cleansing of each of her weapons. She started with the sniper rifles, then the SMGs, followed by her katanas and her knife.

 

After having cleaned each of the weapons, she checked the magazines—stating contentedly that the clips were full and that she had some extra clips in addition to put in her storage units.

 

When done with restocking her weapons, she put the surplus clips in her storage units in her armor.

 

Having prepared everything, she sat down in front of the pile of her armor, opening the compartment on the left side and taking out the pictures she had taken with her after rejoining the army thanks to Hollaway helping her.

 

_Rest in peace…_

 

Hollaway had been her first and best CO she ever had, aside from Wash. Wash was an awesome CO, even if a bit crazy, but they all were… so she couldn’t hold it against him.

 

In any way, Hollaway was great and had also been accepting of her as a woman and had always treated her equal to the other soldiers in her Platoon. Although it wasn’t so uncommon for females to join the army, there still were those assholes who treated you like you’re somehow worth less because you’re a woman.

 

Hollaway not doing that had been like a blessing for her.

 

By the time she had to fend for herself after joining Tucker, she could keep her ground. Although that wasn’t really necessary anymore given the group she was tagging along with: the Blood Gulch Crew didn’t give a shit if she was a woman or a man.

 

She had been adopted by them at some point during the fight against Wash back then, and after having saved some of the guys’ asses and given all of the other shit they had gone through together, she had become a member of the crew.

 

Besides that, having known Tucker beforehand and being friends with him for a short period of time before meeting the rest of them had made it easier to decide on which team she would end up on. It was easier for the other guys to trust her given her friendship with Tucker as well.

 

Sighing, she put away the picture of all the crew members, including her and Wash, at Crash Site Bravo. She could also see Carolina in it, so the picture had been taken before she had disappeared.

 

In the next picture, she saw Tucker, Junior, and her… all of them smiling into the camera.

 

She had hated the Sangheili back then.

 

Hell, she had almost shot Junior the first time they met. But thanks to Junior and Tucker, she had learned to respect the Elite and eventually had learned more about their culture.

 

When fighting a war, you like to think that your opponent is a monster. It makes it easier to fight them and put a bullet in their bodies when you see them as bloodthirsty monsters instead of individuals with emotions, possibly with a family of their and who might even have someone they want to return to as you do.

 

What makes them… _Human_. No matter if they’re actual humans themselves or members of another race.

 

Putting this picture away, she could see the pictures of her and North. Most of them were with Theta, but there were some where they were outside and Theta had not been allowed to show himself.

 

In any case, she smiled sadly.

 

Tucker was right: she had to tell North and she had to go to Grey eventually. She not only promised it, but she couldn’t put it off much longer. It was already starting to draw people’s attention. It was starting to make people talk since she had changed her behavior so much.

 

She had to come clean eventually.

 

Okay!

 

With new determination, she exhaled and opened her eyes to put away the pictures.

 

She would do the mission tomorrow and she would see how it turned out. If both herself and North weren’t injured, she would tell him in the same night that they would return. He had the fucking right to know and she couldn’t play the hard-to-get high school girl any longer than she already had.

 

She was able to sort out her thoughts already: what was left to do could only be sorted out together with North. She needed his opinion too before she would be able to get remotely close to getting over whatever she was carrying around with her. And given the numbers of injuries she had sustained and how bad they were, she would go to Doctor Grey within the next few days and get the old problem of her miscarriage checked out.

 

Tucker was right: it _was_ causing her pain still and she needed to get that checked out.

 

Standing up, she decided on a third thing as well.

 

She would sleep now and decide after the mission on how to do it. She didn’t know how it would play out and she had to spontaneously decide on how to approach it. But one thing was sure: she had to do it soon after coming back with the others and informing the necessary people.

 

Closing her eyes, she let the muscles in her body relax and soon after she fell into the dark abyss of sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting intense

It was around six hundred in the morning on the next day, with Mac and the Freelancers waiting for the other Blood Gulch members to show up.

 

The briefing for the other guys hadn’t gone without some backtalking, but that was just how they were. In the end, it was accepted by everyone that they would join the mission.

 

Grif, Wash, and York were set up as drivers.

 

Simmons was at the machine rifle on the Reds’ Warthog, Mac had the Blues’ one, and North had the one on York’s car so that Carolina could set out the moment danger showed up in and so that she could use her Speed Unit.

 

Delta had agreed to help Carolina with her enhancements when it came to fighting situations since York didn’t need his help urgently.

 

They had been driving for about three hours when Caboose started complaining that he needed a bathroom break, to which Wash complied. It was always like that: when on travels with Caboose and the others, they regularly needed to take bathroom breaks at least for the childlike member of their group.

 

Besides that, they had to go around the two plains on their way to the location and not drive smack dab through the middle of them which could possibly put themselves in danger. That lengthened their travel time significantly.

 

Since neither York nor North reacted overly surprised by the pit stop, Wash suspected that Carolina had already told them about the Blood Gulch Crew’s quirks when it came to traveling.

 

After Caboose and the others were back in the Warthogs, they continued.

 

North, who was the navigator of the journey, suspected that it wouldn’t take them even another two hours to reach their destination, so it would be five hours in total to get there finally. The alien temple was about a six-hour drive away—bathroom breaks included.

 

When they arrived near the temple, they decided to leave their Warthogs in a safe spot, covering them with nets and other camouflage equipment.

 

When they were done doing so, Wash made sure that Caboose had eaten and drunk enough, had gone to the toilet again, and was playing the silent game until they were at least inside the temple.

 

North, close by their proximity, watched that playing out while smiling underneath his helmet. For having been such a carefree and naïve soldier as he had gotten to know Wash as, the other man had become more responsible now and had started to truly care for the makeshift family here that had adopted him.

 

On top of that, although he felt strange for thinking about it, Wash would probably be a great father whenever he had kids of his own.

 

Maybe North should say something to him about adopting a child from the orphanage one day. There were so many children waiting for a loving family and so few parents around to take them up since so many had died during the war.

 

He maybe would have adopted a kid or two too with Ala back then if South hadn’t needed his assistance. Or he would have possibly had children of his own.

 

Breathing in and out deeply, he let the thought go and pushed it to the back of his mind. Theta was acting strangely again, but he gently called out to the Fragment to get him to focus on the task at hand.

 

Beside him, Mac hopped out of the car, her hands shortly roaming over her body to check if all her weapons were in place.

 

“You have quite an armory with you.” He remarked when he saw her many different weapons. There was something in his own mind that alerted him at the sight: he _knew_ her choice of weapons, but he couldn’t say from where exactly.

 

“I have some specializations. Besides, when you run out of ammo… a sword never hurts.” She replied casually and with a shrug before walking up to Wash and exchanging some words with him.

 

Her voice was also somewhat familiar to him, but, again, he had met so many people throughout his life that he couldn’t put a finger on who it possibly could belong to.

 

Besides that… meeting Ala here was more than just a bit unlikely, so why should he hope that it would be her voice?

 

Sighing, he shook his head before once and for all forcing himself to focus on the task at hand.

 

Wash turned around to the crew, all of them having accepted him as leader which made North’s chest swell with happiness for his friend.

 

“Okay, guys. We have to sneak in and check out the situation first, so everyone stay on guard.”

 

Each of the guys gave him a nod to his little speech, readying their weapons and taking off along with Mac.

 

North observed how she was standing between Caboose and Tucker, obviously a full-fledged member of the group and he felt somewhat happy for her. He didn’t know why, but people who were reluctant to open up to others usually came from situations where they had been compromised, left alone, and cheated on more times than a person could count. She must have had a hard past, and so she now having a group who accepted her was something he wished everyone could have.

 

Beside him, York had taken Carolina’s hand and squeezed it quickly before letting go of it. It was a reassuring gesture for the both of them, as well as a promise that both of them would be coming back.

 

He could see Grif and Simmons bumping their helmets together, Doc pulling Donut into a quick embrace, and both Tucker and Wash settling on exchanging a long glance before they all, on an unspoken command, started to spread out and walk towards the building.

 

Luckily it was a rather dark day with heavy, dark clouds hanging in the sky which was why they were able to start the assault in the middle of the day.

 

***

 

Tucker sighed under his helmet. He was nervous, worried, and excited.

 

He would be able to fight again. He would see his son again.

 

He was worried about what state Junior would be in. He hoped that he was doing fine, otherwise he wouldn’t know what he would do if Junior was heavily injured or possibly even dead. He was also nervous as to how Junior would react to his dad showing up in the middle of a fight.

 

He was aware and was sure that all the others knew too that this could very well be a trap, but they all tagged along despite the danger because they wanted to help his son. That made him feel happy and proud of having found such a great group.

 

His boyfriend disappeared with Carolina, disabling the guards and other soldiers in their vicinity so that they would be able to approach the temple rather easily.

 

It was obvious that someone was in there. He suspected them of being pirates since the guards that had been taken out so far looked like a ragtag bunch of soldiers.

 

Okay, so maybe they didn’t look any better themselves… but in the end, they were Reds, Blues, and all colors in-between.

 

Tucker was just happy that Mac had her Camouflage Unit on, making it more difficult to see them since her white armor wasn’t shining so brightly.

 

Sprinting ahead, he could see that she was leaning against a tree. She was aiming with her sniper rifle at the entrance to keep Wash and Carolina’s backs covered, and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat jealous for not having one himself.

 

Maybe he would sign up for her course once the fight was over, just to finally get that fucking sniper rifle.

 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand… reaching and entering the temple was rather easy. Too easy.

 

Looking around, he could see from the tense postures of his friends that they thought the same—aside from Caboose and Donut, of course. They always were so unsuspecting. He wished that he could be the same sometimes.

 

They walked through different hallways, trying to find their way around.

 

Tucker and Mac helped as best as they could with their knowledge of Sangheili, but it was more of a blind flight until they found what they were looking for.

 

Tucker had to smile, despite the terse situation.

 

At first, Mac had absolutely hated Junior and had even almost killed him. Tucker always had to be on guard just to make sure that she wouldn’t do it the moment he was looking away.

 

He really could understand her reasoning, given her experience with the Sangheili on Chare. They had circled her, each of them shooting and stabbing her. It was war, but what they had done then was neither honorable nor human. It was just plain bloodthirst.

 

She still had lots of scars on her torso. Luckily, the swords and most of the shots had missed important internal organs and arteries. The hot plasma of the swords had even cauterized the wounds right away. Despite having been so badly off, she had been rather lucky all things considered.

 

In any case, upon ending up in the temple under the sands with Tucker and Junior, it was understandable that she was angry towards the young alien at first as she thought only the worst about the Sangheili.

 

It had taken Tucker some hours while they had been trapped in there to convince her otherwise. She had known him for quite a while then and, with Junior staying in the background, Tucker had managed to explain to her some of the basic cultural facts of his son’s people so that she could understand Junior’s race better. It was then when she had slowly started to relax around his kid.

 

By the end when everything went down, he couldn’t say that she was exactly trusting of Junior, but she had grown somewhat… _fond_ of him.

 

She had even once asked her adopted brother to teach her Sangheili so that she could talk to Junior herself when they met next. Well, it wasn’t quite like him who had used Sangheili more than his native language for quite a while and was a fluid speaker of it given that, but she eventually managed to pick up some stuff from what he had taught her and could use it. It was a basic understanding of the language at best, but it was enough for her to speak with a Sangheili and surprise said alien positively—immediately making them feel more at ease. He had also taught her basic greetings of the Sangheili so that she would earn some respect herself for respecting their culture.

 

There was a greeting you use when meeting Sangheili for the first time. Roughly translated, it meant something along the lines of _“I am honored to meet you and greet you with all my respects.”_ It was rather formal, but that was something that was sacred to the Sangheili: honoring their opposites and being honored by them in return.

 

Looking over to Mac, he could see that she was trying to decipher something. Tucker decided to walk over and have a look himself.

 

“Something the matter?” He asked over the open channel that everyone had decided to stay on during the mission.

 

“I’m having trouble with translating. It says something about a laser.” She muttered, staring at the symbols as if they would start making sense by doing that.

 

Tucker looked at it at again.

 

“It says that this is the Cryo-Inducted Laser Modification Chamber.” He read out loud, Mac making an _‘Ah’_ sound beside him now that she understood the meaning of the text she had been struggling with.

 

“I suspect it’s the place where they created the laser to keep the asteroids at bay.” He continued and straightened a bit.

 

He didn’t suspect that there was anything to find there, but he would ultimately let Wash and the other Freelancers decide on that.

 

Just when Wash seemed as though he wanted to say something, Delta reappeared.

 

Tucker had completely forgotten about North and York having each sent out their respective Fragments to search the place too.

 

“Agents, a soldier in orange and steel armor is located in the open square in the middle of the building. I propose going there. However, there’s no sing of the Sangheili so far, I fear.” The Fragment announced, nodding over to Tucker who nodded in appreciation of Delta saying Sangheili instead of alien. He wasn’t going to be angry anymore, but it helped calm his nerves down somewhat given the little dispute they had yesterday.

 

“You have a plan to get there, D?” York asked.

 

Delta nodded, “Please follow me.”

 

Delta led the way with North and York staying at the back. Wash was at the front together with Tucker, while Carolina and Mac were in the middle of the group with the others, effectively setting up a perimeter so that they could notice attacks the moment they occurred.

 

This, however, didn’t help them any when they walked out and the door behind them slammed shut.

 

“Fuck!” York cursed loudly, turning around immediately and trying to open the door.

 

This attempt, however, was cut short when a well-known voice rang out, “I’d be keeping still if I were you. The snipers are aiming at you all.”

 

“Felix.” Tucker growled, whereas Mac and North’s heads shot up and looked around them.

 

“Fucking Felix is right,” The woman then muttered, “We ran into a trap.”

 

“Well, isn’t that a pity? Now you’re going to die by my hand. That’s what big, mighty Malcolm Hargrove didn’t achieve, huh?”

 

With those words, Felix in his steel and orange armor sauntered out of a hallway.

 

Tucker could see his cocky grin on his face albeit the Mercenary wearing a helmet.

 

“Well, well, well… if that isn’t a surprise, you even brought your friends with you!” Felix mocked in fake happiness, looking over to the Freelancers named York and North who both visibly tensed.

 

Luckily, the Fragment had disappeared the moment they had stepped out into the square so it wouldn’t attract too much attention too fast that Delta wasn’t around.

 

“How the hell did you survive that? You fell off the fucking ship!” Carolina demanded, being the first to openly speak up.

 

Felix laughed at that, “Oh come on.” He extended his arms, “Hey, Tucker! How about telling them the legend of the sword?”

 

Everyone’s eyes immediately went to the aqua-clad soldier.

 

“Legend?” Wash asked curiously, followed by, “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

 

Tucker balled his fists, “It’s a legend, okay, Wash?! I didn’t think it was true, that’s why I never told you.” He snapped.

 

Wash recoiled a bit and tilted his head in an apologizing manner, listening to Tucker’s further explanation.

 

“It is said that if you have been the wielder of the key long enough, it can revive you. Some kind of last gift to you for the time of your life it stole from you. Because in Sanghelios, you become a priest or something and have to work for the sword, or the key, or whatever they call it. So if you die of an unnatural cause and the damage isn’t too bad, it can revive you.” He explained, a dark tone entering his voice as he concluded his explanation with, “It looks like that bastard Felix got lucky.”

 

“Yeah, well, what can I say? Faith obviously decided that I have something left to do.” Felix stated.

 

He snorted at Tucker’s comment of, “How about dying a second time?”

 

“In any case, I got the distress signal too and thought this might lure you into a trap of mine.” He explained deliberately, “I have your abomination of a kid.” Felix told them.

 

Tucker’s posture went rigid, and Mac laid a hand on his shoulders like she had yesterday. She could hear him exhale and his muscles relaxed.

 

Felix was just trying to make him angry so that Tucker would lose himself and do something stupid that could get him shot.

 

“So?” Tucker then asked in a weak attempt to play the nonchalant asshole.

 

“So I have a deal for you. I want revenge and I already know someone who is going to be my guinea pig for my newest tricks with my knife.” They all could see the shit-eating grin underneath his helmet, “If any of you interfere, you’re all dead and this abomination of nature you call your son is dead. If you win, you _might_ get Junior and your life back.”

 

“ _Might_ meaning…?” Wash asked then as Tucker was in too much turmoil to say anything.

 

Mac knew that Tucker was seething underneath his armor.

 

“ _Might_ meaning that you can get him out if you’re fast enough and the snipers don’t get you before.” Felix explained deliberately.

 

Luckily, he didn’t seem to know that Delta was already searching for the Sangheili and disabling whatever life-threatening machine was pointed at him. Or whatever life-threatening machine was pointed at them.

 

Theta would stay with them and inform North about Delta’s progress.

 

“Well, anyways. That’s how this is going down. Oh, have I mentioned that you’re dead the moment you move?” Felix asked conversationally.

 

“Yeah, you did. Get to the fucking point, asshole.” Grif interjected, eye roll clear as day when he spoke.

 

“Ah… well…” He acted as if he was thinking about something before snapping with his fingers, “Ah, yes, the opponent. When looking through some of the videos that Hargrove’s soldiers made during the fight, I saw that someone’s a good fighter when it comes to knives.” He informed them.

 

This only left a few options, Tucker contemplated. He didn’t know how good North and York’s fighting skills with knives were, but that left only four of them: Mac, Wash, Carolina, and himself.

 

“On top of that,” Felix continued, obviously unfazed by the lack of a response, “This person is a rather good fighter with swords. I’d say she has a _cutting_ personality. I definitely could get off by watching her.”

 

The shark-like grin on his face meant nothing good and Tucker knew who he meant by that.

 

Turning around, he looked to Mac who looked calm, but Tucker could tell she was shocked by this news too.

 

Nobody said anything, and everyone stayed perfectly still.

 

“You have the choice. Either you fight or you don’t. Either way, you’re getting killed.” Felix explained casually.

 

He was right: either they were fighting and had a chance of surviving, or they weren’t fighting and all of them would die. One versus fifteen?

 

The decision was clear to Mac.

 

She took a step towards Felix.

 

Tucker went rigid, “You aren’t going out there and getting yourself killed!” He stood in her way.

 

Taking a step towards Tucker, she laid both her hands on his shoulders like she often did when calming or comforting him down, “We might have a slight chance of surviving this if I go through with this. We can’t always rely on our bad luck.” She told him gently.

 

“Why not?! It worked so far!” Tucker insisted, but Mac shook her head.

 

“No, this time it doesn’t seem like it. Look,” she continued, making Tucker shut up, “I am trying to increase our chances. You know I am capable of fighting and that asshole Felix _is_ going to regret this.”

“Yeah, but you could still die.” Tucker insisted.

 

“All of us could possibly die. That’s life, Tucker. You know that I had to learn this fact ten years ago in pretty drastic ways.” She explained and Tucker fell silent at that.

 

North perked up behind them at that.

 

Ten years? That was about the time that he and York had been gone.

 

Tucker sighed deeply at that, “Just promise me that you come back, okay?”

 

Mac laughed lowly at that, “Okay, promise.” She replied, pulling out her SMGs and her sniper rifles. She gave them to Tucker, “Watch these for me, all right? They would just hinder me out there.”

 

“I’m going to be giving you these back.” The dark-skinned man growled out.

 

Mac laughed at that.

 

“What a moving speech.” the mercenary mocked, standing in the middle of the place that they would use as a fighting ground.

 

The sun was nowhere to be seen. The square was illuminated, although there weren’t any floodlights. Mac guessed that the more advanced technology of the aliens made that possible.

 

Mac turned around with a dark stare towards Felix at his mockery. Tucker knew that she was pretending to be mad, but that she really wasn’t. His adopted sister was way too cool to fall for that.

 

“Remember that you have to take your weapons back.” Tucker reminded her, “Or I am going to be fucking pissed.”

 

“Untwist your panties, Tuck.” Mac snorted, “I am going to wipe the floor with that asshole and we’ll be back in time for dinner.” Mac replied with a laugh, patting his shoulder and walking past him while cracking her knuckles and her neck.

 

They both knew that it wouldn’t be _that_ easy, but they both needed that reassurance from one another that everything would be fine.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit's getting intense

Walking to the middle of the square that Felix had obviously prepared, she took up her position on the other side of the field.

 

Mac couldn’t help it when a smug grin appeared on her face, “So, you really think you’re going to beat me?”

 

“You’re going to be my warmup for the others. I can’t wait to fight against someone who is good with swords. At any other time, I would have asked you to marry me.” Felix snorted, taking a step forward and taking up his attack stance.

 

Mac took a step back, putting her weight on her rear leg and putting her hands up while exhaling slowly.

 

The hand that was on the same side as the leg being placed back was balled into a fist, protecting her Solar Plexus.

 

The other was open, on the same level as her shoulder. Her back was straight and she was calming her breathing and her heartbeat down.

 

She mustn’t be carried away by the adrenaline flooding through her and the emotions that this situation was causing to flare up.

 

“Aww, you’re doing breathing techniques just for me? Okay, just because you’re being so nice... first I will punch you to a bloody pulp and _then_ use my knife techniques.” Felix mocked, obviously trying to get her to become angry.

 

She smiled smugly at that, “If I am going to be wiping the floor with you, I want to at least look cool doing it.”

 

With that, she made a taunting motion with her hand—waving him over with a short jerk of her fingers.

 

Felix took that as a cue to attack her with a fist hit which she avoided easily by taking a step to the side and letting the Mercenary pass by her. When he was beside her, she hooked her right foot under one of his, throwing him off balance effectively and making him fall on the floor.

 

“If that’s all you’ve got… I’m going to be disappointed, boy.” She mocked, walking away casually and taking up her fighting stance a bit further away.

 

Felix was on his feet and attacking her again seconds later.

 

She had to dodge his attacks this time. The first blow with his fist was deflected to the side, the kick to her bottom dodged.

 

Right after, since Felix’s defenses were wide open, she placed some well-aimed hits to his abdomen that caused him to stumble back with a surprised cough.

 

***

 

On the other side of the battlefield stood North, watching the fight go on.

 

So far they were just sniffing around each other: trying to find out as much about the other as possible while not giving away too much information about their own style of fighting.

 

He could see that they were trading blows and hits, neither of them looking like they had the upper hand.

 

What was making him restless, on the other hand, was Theta. He had been nervous ever since he had disappeared and that made North feel agitated.

 

It must have obviously been visible too since York threw him a curious glance, but didn’t comment on it either way. They settled on not talking about the Fragments here since they were their aces in the hole when it came to possibly pulling something off to get everyone out of this situation.

 

_‘Theta, what the hell is up with you?’_

There was no answer to his question, but another wave of anxiousness and nervousness washed over him just then.

 

_‘Seriously, you’re going to make me angry if you don’t start telling me what the hell is up.’_

 

There was no answer from the Fragment, but suddenly, while watching how Mac did a backflip in order to avoid a staccato of fist hits from Felix, he suddenly saw _Ala_ doing it instead.

 

Ala was the one fighting Felix now.

 

 _‘Theta, stop that shit. There’s no way in hell it’s her.’_ He replied, sounding angry and hurt since this picture in his mind brought up too much hope and memories.

 

Speaking of those, Theta now provided him with the memories of what had happened when they broke down on the battlefield some weeks ago. It all flooded over him like a fucking tsunami and he stumbled a bit, shaking his head.

 

This got York’s as well as the attention of the others around him, all of them staring at him. They had retreated to the wall so that Mac and Felix could fight better with Tucker and Wash standing beside the sniper now.

 

North only tapped the space on his neck where the implant was in response to the questioning looks being thrown his way. To any unknowing onlooker, it might just look like he had some problems with his head.

 

“Having some trouble with my vision. Seeing stuff that can’t be here. Like someone from my past.” He explained curtly, making it as cryptic as possible so that others wouldn’t get any advantage out of overhearing it.

 

“Yeah… Well about that...” Tucker started, earning a hit against his thigh from Wash who he shot a dirty glare to, “He might as well know it now. The odds of us coming out alive are small enough as it is.” The aqua-clad soldier snapped.

 

“Well… Mac actually is someone you already—“ Tucker didn’t have the possibility to continue when an ugly cracking sound reverberated through the room.

 

Felix had managed to land a chin hook on Mac, sending her flying backwards. The force of the hit was strong enough to open the seals of her helmet and throw it off her head.

 

The helmet came to a stop in front of Carolina’s feet, who remained unmoving.

 

***

 

Mac, or _Ala_ , laid on the ground for a moment. She was a bit dizzy, and that gave just enough time for Felix to walk over and grab a fistful of her black hair. At some point her braid had opened.

 

“So much for making you feel disappointed.” Felix said with a smug grin, Mac looking at him with anger in her eyes.

 

“You _are_ disappointing me, asshole.” She replied, pulling out her knife swiftly and cutting off the long mane of hair right underneath Felix’s hand.

 

This action took Felix somewhat by surprise so that he was standing there for a moment, looking at the hair in his hand while Ala was getting some space between the two of them.

 

Well, now that the beans were spilled, she also could switch off her camouflage and save some energy.

 

A short while later, her armor was white with blue accents again just as it had been when she had arrived on Chorus.

 

“Hmm, so it’s _you_.” Felix almost sounded disappointed.

 

“Sorry I couldn’t be a princess of sorts who was waiting for their knight in…” she eyed him, “Steel and orange armor.” She mocked, dodging another blow from Felix with a laugh.

 

“Oh come _on_. That’s _all_ you’ve got? I’m not even going to use my swords for you. How disappointing!” She laughed at Felix square in his face and that made his posture change.

 

She was getting under his skin.

 

Drawing his knife, Felix swung at her which she easily evaded. It looked more like a dance to her and that was her goal. Felix should be provoked by her looking so at ease and stuff, like this wasn’t a battle for death or life but nothing more than something funny to her.

 

When he regained his footing after having been thrown off again after another evaded attack, he seemed to change gears and lifted his leg—obviously trying to kick and then stab her.

 

Ala, being so close to him, decided to surprise him. She had more than enough tricks up her sleeve.

 

Taking a step forward, she crossed her arms out in front of her. She caught Felix’s leg right underneath his knee plating, effectively catching the mercenary off-guard.

 

There was a second of shock at her action that Mac used to push him back.

 

“Try again, that was _weak_.” She mocked, faking a yawn as if she was bored.

 

Felix’s posture took up more and more that of a bull who soon was going to charge headfirst into a battle just to get the opponent injured.

 

Felix attacked again, this time from a bit further away… but Mac was also prepared for that. Her leg attacks had been her strong point back on Earth when she hadn’t had a metal arm, and so she also knew how to dodge them.

 

Surging forward, she hooked her right arm under Felix’s right leg, right in his knee pit. She used her speed to press her body upwards and make Felix fall backwards.

 

While the mercenary was making a surprised noise, Mac lunged out. She gathered all her strength in her left arm and practically rammed the soldier in steel and orange armor into the ground.

 

His already dented and damaged helmet couldn’t take such a blow and simply split in two, both parts flying away in different directions.

 

Mac always was a fair fighter and so she took some steps backwards, waiting for the mercenary to get back on his feet.

 

At the moment, he was puking his guts on the floor—coughing up a mix of blood and gastric acid. She must have broken at least some ribs with that blow. Her left arm was fucking _awesome_.

 

“Fucking bitch.” He growled, furious dark brown eyes settling on her.

 

She only snorted at that, walking up and down casually just like Felix had done so many times before.

 

“Oh, did the poor baby get hurt?” she mocked, observing him stumbling to his feet.

 

He was angry, but not to the point where she wanted him to be.

 

Before she was able to tease him more, however, he drew his knife and threw it in Tucker, North, and Wash’s general direction.

 

She could feel her feet moving on their own with her armor using energy for the Speed Unit, racing over to catch the knife.

 

In the last second possible she managed it, although the knife went directly through her mechanical palm.

 

Looking at it, she laughed, “Looks good. It a piece of art, seriously, but that’s not practical for a fight.” With that she pulled it out and squashed the blade in her left hand.

 

Felix stared at her in disbelief before his face went dark with anger. His undercut had grown out and he was in desperate need of a shave. He could do that when he was dead for all she cared.

 

“Fucking cyborg bitch.”

 

“Wow, ever so colorful. But I must correct you. I’m mechanically enhanced, not a cyborg. It’s only the arm. Always nice when not everyone knows all your secrets.” She mocked, looking at the squashed knife in her hand.

 

“But I must say, you’ve improved a lot since you started using that.”

 

Felix’s face didn’t move at that, but she knew that he would react to the next bit of information she was about to give out, “Given that you made an attacker fall off the water tower by hitting him with the butt of your knife when you actually wanted to pull a cool knife throw stunt at the warehouse near the quarry back in New Seoul. And that only to impress Sam... Real smooth, Isaac.” She commented, standing there casually.

 

Her defenses were down and she was putting her all into her mocking posture towards the mercenary now.

 

At first, said man was utterly shocked. His eyes went wide and he looked at her in utter disbelief.

That was until the rage took over his face.

 

“I don’t care where you got that information from… but now you’re in for something, you fucking bitch!” With that and an inhuman cry, he lunged himself forward and crashed into the woman, effectively being able to get ahold of one of her swords in the process.

 

Getting some space between them, he regarded the weapon in his hand.

 

“Interesting. I could get used to this. I’ll probably make it my favorite weapon after I’ve gutted you with it.” He babbled on with a maniacal grin on his face.

 

Mac could see that he had definitely snapped now. The last piece of sanity had flown out of his head the moment that it had collided with the ground.

 

Pulling out the other sword, she again got into her fighting stance.

 

“Let’s see what you’ve got, Isaac-baby.” She teased, letting the mercenary attack.

 

He was uncoordinated, used to using a knife and not a longer sword. The moment he was inattentive and his hand was out too wide to protect, she grabbed at the opportunity. Her sword soared down, severing his left hand off his body.

 

Felix screamed, the sword falling to the ground with a clatter where Mac took it up and kicked the hand to the side.

 

“Stick to your knives, Isaac-boy.” She stated, taking out her knife that she wasn’t so trained in but-oh-well.

 

She _had_ to win. Or at least save the others.

 

Felix pulled out another knife from somewhere in his armor, attacking again.

 

Unfortunately for Mac, he didn’t seem to be feeling the pain from his severed hand all that much.

 

That fucking dick even used it to his advantage by lunging at her, making her close her eyes at the sudden spray of blood hitting her face.

 

She had her other side to the crew, the one with her flesh arm, so the only thing they saw was how he had gotten through her defenses.

 

Mac, however, felt the hot steel enter her body right underneath her left armpit. Immediately she felt that breathing became harder and her left arm had started to get heavy.

 

Fuck… that was the lungs and the mechanics! Biting back a scream, she could hear herself groan in pain.

 

She could live with only one part of the lungs, but not fight. She had to be extremely quick now. She was done with the asshole, anyways.

 

Feeling blood run down the left corner of her mouth and out of her nose, she pulled the swords out of her sheaths, readying them.

 

“Now _this_ is going to be interesting.” Felix laughed manically.

 

“Not for you.” Mac surged forward towards Felix, who put up his defenses for an incoming attack to his head, reacting to her lifting the sword as if she wanted to cut off his head.

 

In the last possible second, she fell on her back and slid in-between Felix’s legs. Her Katanas cut into the space where the legs join the crotch.

 

An ugly spray of red erupted from both of the cuts.

 

Getting to her feet, she rammed one sword through Felix’s heart with all her force.

 

He made a surprised gurgling sound, looking down at the blade sticking out of the armor. The gurgling in his lungs matched the sound of her lungs when she drew a breath.

“I’m making sure you’re staying dead this time.” She muttered into his ear before pulling out the sword from his chest and cutting off the mercenary’s head with a scissoring motion of both of her swords.

 

The man was dead before he hit the ground, his head rolling away some feet to the opposite side of the group.

 

She took a few steps towards her friends while sheathing her swords.

 

The black-haired woman could already see her vision narrowing down, dark walls closing in on her.

 

Oddly enough, she felt herself smile.

 

At least they were safe.

 

“Theta, use the shield.” She muttered as loudly as she could before she broke down.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have to bring her back to Armonia somehow - Let's hope she pulls through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter here has some rather graphic shit. If you're not so into it, I suppose to skip some parts. It's getting rather bloody.

The moment that North heard her words, he reacted without thinking.

 

“Theta, the shield.” He repeated automatically.

 

He could see the energy level of his suit falling when the shield started to spread out.

 

It was not a second too late as the snipers must have overcome the shock from Felix’s death and had started to shoot.

 

Carolina was out and about a moment later. She wasn’t as good in using her units anymore since she had lost Epsilon, but she could manage the Speed Unit since she had been working with it before receiving any of the Fragments.

 

The Reds immediately started to shoot with Simmons using some of the rockets from his rocket launcher to get rid of the snipers.

 

Mac, meanwhile, was on the ground and fighting the blood currently filling her lungs. Her breathing was ragged and there was an ugly gurgling sound in her lungs whenever she drew a breath.

 

Tucker was the first at her side.

 

“He—hey, come on, Mac, don’t do that. You promised that you were going to come back!” his hands were wandering over her body aimlessly, lost about what to do.

 

“I did come back, didn’t I?” she pressed out.

 

“Yeah, you did, but I didn’t mean it this way!” the distress was palpable in his voice and Mac felt like she heard him crying.

 

“Come on, stop crying, kid brother. You’re okay.”

 

“But you aren’t! Now fucking stop talking!” he snapped, looking up at Wash.

 

This seemed to snap the Freelancer out of his trance. He hurried over to York and grabbed at the unit slots in his back, tearing something out.

 

“What the hell are you doing back there?!” York exclaimed in surprise.

 

“Your fucking Healing Unit, she’s going to die on us otherwise!” Wash insisted, running off with the unit to put it in Ala’s armor in order to make it run.

 

It took a moment for York to process what had just happened, but then he muttered, “D?”

 

“I am here, York. I found the Sangheili that you—“

 

“Not important now.” He interrupted the Fragment, “Go help run my Healing Unit in Mac’s suit.” He ordered.

 

Delta quickly looked over to Mac squirming on the ground and hacking up blood while Wash tried to press his hand on the wound under her armpit.

 

“Of course.” With that the Fragment disappeared, a green flicker beside Ala announcing that D was working over there.

 

“And you.” He looked over to North who was stuck in place, “Better go too. She needs you, you idiot.”

 

North looked over to York for a second, before shaking himself back to reality and running over to kneel beside the head of the woman lying on the ground and fighting to get enough air in her lungs.

 

He had been in a state of shock since the helmet had come loose and only snapped out of it when York had told him to go over. It must be hard for him to have learned about everything this way, but that was the situation and they had to make the best out of it.

 

Looking up, York could see that the pirates were gone.

 

“York, Simmons, Grif. I need you guys to help me free Tucker’s son.” Carolina ordered.

 

All of them nodded and turned around to get Junior, while the medic, Doc and the Healing Unit were trying to get Mac stable.

 

Caboose was sitting beside the door and was crying with Donut trying to calm him down. Wash, Lopez, and Sarge were taking over the watch, though the shield was still active.

 

“We have the Sangheili. We’re moving out!” Carolina’s voice broadcasted loud over the radios.

 

“Okay, we have to move her and get the fuck back to the hospital now!” The medic ordered, “She isn’t stable but she isn’t going to make it otherwise!”

 

The young man got up and looked over the guys there, “Sarge, Wash, Tucker, take the guarding. North, carry her. You look like the strongest.”

 

All of them nodded numbly and followed the orders, too numb to realize the situation yet.

 

Gingerly, North picked the black-haired woman up bridal style and turned around to run off towards the others, trusting Theta to manage the shield.

 

Tucker was already standing there, holding her helmet in one hand and the plasma sword in the other, waiting for him to pass. When North had run past Tucker, he turned around too, running after them and securing North’s back.

 

It didn’t look like anyone was still around there who could potentially be dangerous. It seemed as though after Felix’s death the guys here hauled ass to get away, the ones who didn’t were the ones that Carolina personally handed their asses.

 

Running over to the truck, he laid her down on the seat although he kept her back up by turning around slightly and steadying her. He couldn’t lay her down. The blood would clog up her airways.

 

Junior looked slightly drowsy in the other car, but aside from that he seemed fine. Doc was with him to keep an eye on him since he knew him since he was a newborn baby.

 

“Burn rubber, York.” North didn’t care that he sounded like he was on the verge of a panic attack or that his voice was filled with worry and anxiousness.

 

York and the others didn’t need to be told twice as all of them burned rubber. The Reds were in the front with York in the middle and the Blues making up the last car. They were probably breaking every safety rule in how they were driving now, but it still seemed way too slow for North.

 

“Hang in there.” He muttered to Ala, holding her close to his body and steadying her on the bumpy ride until they reached a wide plain where they could drive even faster.

 

York was almost pressing the acceleration pedal through to the ground, trying to drive faster than was remotely possible.

 

A coughing fit racked Ala’s small frame in his arms, blood splattering onto their armor and the seat. The medic was giving her another syringe to lessen the pain and did something that North would have loved to kill him for, but that probably saved her life in hindsight.

 

“I hate to do this, but it’s necessary.” He muttered, grabbing Ala’s knife and pushing it into her body, right underneath the left part of the chest plate.

 

Ala reared up at the new pain with a guttural noise, writhing in pain when the medic pulled it out and put it back in the sheath on her chest plating.

 

Immediately, blood started to flow out, coloring her codpiece in an ugly red color.

 

“Can you do mouth-to-mouth?” The medic suddenly asked the man keeping the woman steady.

 

North looked over at him. He had taken off his helmet. It was rolling around in the trunk of the car—he couldn’t care less.

 

“She’s too weak to get rid of the blood. You have to help.” The medic explained.

 

It took a moment for North to understand what he was saying, but then he lifted her head towards his and breathed in as much air as he could without making her gag.

 

North always thought of himself as being rather hardened to any kind of bloody shit given his past in Freelancer. Fuck, he hadn’t even been fazed by the fight when Felix first lost a hand, was stabbed, and then got his head cut off! But this view here was horrible.

 

The moment there was enough pressure in the injured part of the lungs, the blood was pressed downwards, emitting a bloody spray on the medic, the Warthog, and Carolina’s legs. All of that was accompanied by a strange howling sound from the leaking air. It sounded like a death howl.

 

The whole situation looked like a grotesque and surreal mimicry of a bloody well.

 

He had enough time to turn around without hurting Ala too much to throw up over the side of the car.

 

“You okay there, North?” York asked, his eyes glued on the plain before them while approaching the jungle fast. They had to drive through the jungle for most part of the time and after that over another plain and then they would be there.

 

“Fucking peachy.” He grumbled and wiped his mouth, sitting back up and securing his arms one more time around the heavily injured Ala.

 

The medic didn’t look any better than North felt. “It…” He started and paused to swallow dryly, “It was necessary. We had to push the blood out to buy time.” He explained soundlessly.

 

“Wash, you read?” York asked over the open channel.

 

North had put his helmet back on at Carolina’s advice as they were entering the woods with some low hanging branches. He would shield the black haired woman’s head with his armored forearms.

 

“I’m reading. What’s up?” He asked, driving behind them. They had to slow down to not crash in the woods.

 

“Permission to leave the convoy. You know my driving skills. We need to get her back to Armonia.”

 

She hadn’t been around the others much during the last few weeks, which made a lot of sense now that he knew who she _really_ was, but he had heard enough about her from the Blood Gulch Crew and from North for York to know that she was an extremely valued member of the group. He would do the same for every one of the guys that he had grown so fond of since being stranded here.

 

However, it was still strange to refer to Wash as the leader now and not Carolina. But it seemed that she had to decide to step down and had done so voluntarily after seeing how good a job Wash was doing in the role.

 

“Permission granted. Stay safe. We’ll see you in Armonia.” Wash replied.

 

Grif had been listening in to the conversation too since the car in the front slowed down and made space for them to drive past them.

 

“See you there.” York replied, again accelerating and driving at the limit to get back fast enough.

 

It was strange, since he had to focus on the street or the driving route, but he remembered having driven like a madman several times before whenever a member of the Project had gotten heavily injured and they had to drive back to the extraction point.

 

Switching channels, he radioed, “Kimball! You read?”

 

“Kimball here, what’s the matter?” she asked calmly.

 

“Mac is heavily injured. Stabbed, punctured lung, heavy blood loss. We have an emergency entrance in about ten. You have to get a surgery ready.” He shortly explained, hearing Kimball sucking in air at the news.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Soon leaving the jungle.” York explained, drifting around a tree trunk that had fallen down years ago.

 

“But that takes you more—“

 

Carolina cut in. They didn’t have time for discussion, “You don’t want to know Kimball, seriously. We’re in in ten. The others will follow later. But we have to get Mac into surgery now!”

 

It was silent for a moment, “Copy that. I’ll inform Grey and get the routes clear so that you can drive through to the hospital directly.”

 

“Copy and out.” York replied, speeding up again when entering the plains and already seeing the walls of Armonia reaching into the sky before them.

 

Shortly before they reached the gate, it opened just enough for them to slip through and York was happy that Kimball stuck to her word. The road was clear up to the hospital a bit further in the city.

 

He came to a screeching halt in front of the storage hall that had been reused as a hospital. Grey and four medics were standing outside.

 

York hadn’t even stopped properly before North was already out of the Warthog and lying Ala down on the stretcher that was at the ready for her.

 

The medics put an oxygen mask on her face right away and started shoving the stretcher into the storage hall.

The medic ran beside them, “Lung punctuation under the left armpit. Cybernetics are shot due to overexertion after having taken damage. Had to make another lung cut underneath the chest plating to get the blood out of her lungs. Various internal bleeding is possible, a heavy concussion too. There also might be some broken bones. She fought Felix on her own.” He explained, Grey nodding to that, although her expression went dark and even more serious when the medic explained the origins of the injuries. They all knew what kind of sick fucker Felix was when it comes to torturing and injuring people.

 

She looked over to the medic, who slowed down in front of the surgery room. Grey had to get ready soon too, but first they had to prepare Mac for the surgery so she had some time for the medic to give her all of the necessary information.

 

“One more thing.” He started, Grey nodding to make him talk, “I’m going to throw up. You can find me in the bathroom.” With that he turned on his heel and stormed away.

 

North, the Freelancer friend of Wash and Carolina, was standing beside her in front of the entry to the ER the medics with Mac disappeared through some seconds ago. His hands were opening and closing, and he obviously was having to actively restrain himself from storming in.

 

“You, my dear, are going to either take a shower or sit down here and wait until everything’s done. You can’t help in there. You could even endanger her life by entering, so you stay put.” Grey informed him succinctly. Her cheery tone was gone and was replaced by a serious tone. That alone was alarming to everyone present and knowing Dr. Grey for some time. She rarely ever lost her cheery tone. And if she did, things looked dire.

 

Carolina stepped up and maneuvered the shell-shocked North over to the seats, York soon coming and helping.

 

Grey just wanted to turn around when Tucker burst in, “Grey!”

 

“Oh, Captain Tucker, I need to go and help your friend. I don’t have time for chatter.” She replied to his stormy entrance, but Tucker didn’t listen.

 

Tearing off his helmet, he grabbed her by her upper arm and drew her out of everyone’s earshot.

 

North looked over to them with a lost expression on his face. He tried to decipher what they were saying, but his lip reading betrayed him today and the only thing he could read was garbled shit.

 

He saw Grey nod with a stern expression, replying to something Tucker had said and then disappearing through the door to prepare herself for the surgery. Tucker was left there, drawing a hand through his dreads. He was shaking.

 

All the while, the members of the team had started to file in, taking up seats. All of them looked about the same.

 

Junior looked fine by now and, albeit being about two feet taller than his dad, was pressed up closely to his side, looking scared. He made those noises that North had heard on the distress signal before, Tucker answering in the same language.

 

The pale blond Freelancer now could decipher it as Sangheili. Tucker obviously was trying to calm Junior down.

 

Some medics showed up later, Junior going with them for a basic health check and to patch up his wounds.

 

North felt as lost as Tucker looked, standing in the middle of the floor like a puppy that had been kicked out in the icy rain.

 

North remembered the young man always being easygoing and of a happy nature, but now he was standing there looking utterly lost and desperately trying to decipher what had happened in the last few hours.

 

The oldest of the Freelancers averted his gaze when he saw Wash stepping up and pulling Tucker into a tight hug, but not before noticing how the younger man leaned against the Freelancer—face buried in Wash’s neck, hands gripping the grey and yellow chestplate, as he started to sob quietly.

 

As far as North knew, he and Ala were the closest to one another. Almost like siblings, if only adopted and not by blood. It broke his heart seeing someone like that. Even more when he was suffering in the same way.

 

Closing his eyes, he drew a shuddering breath and tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t break down right now.

 

There were enough of them doing that at the moment.

 

Caboose was crying with Donut trying to calm him down despite also crying himself.

 

Simmons had curled up in a ball into Grif’s side, needing comfort.

 

Everyone’s eyes looked hollow, save the ones who were crying.

 

Donut and Caboose had always been rather emotional, but Tucker crying was a rare sight when you could always rely on the other’s jokes before the mission today.

 

York, sitting beside him, had an arm around Carolina as even these two needed someone to be there for them.

 

Apart from this moment, North didn’t really realize anything for the next several hours. He was just sitting there.

 

He didn’t even notice how Wash sat down beside him with Tucker, trying to be there for both of them as York had done with him and Carolina.

 

He faintly remembered throwing Carolina a thankful glance when she reached over and squeezed his forearm in an attempt to comfort him.

 

He vaguely remembered that, one after another, the guys shuffled out to get a shower and to get out of their stifling armor.

 

He followed York and Wash’s lead numbly when they both ordered him to take off his bloody armor and to shower himself since he looked like he had been part of a massacre.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew is dealing with the aftermaths of what happened in the fight against Felix and on their way back to Armonia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to you all guys! :D

North still felt numb when he was led to his room a floor underneath the rooms of the other guys, something like a floor for temporary visitors who first had to prove themselves.

 

York, Carolina, Wash, and Tucker were with him, although Wash had to more watch after Tucker than he could North. That was the reason too why York had sent him up to Tucker’s room with his boyfriend, since the adopted brother of the injured member of the crew was suffering so much.

 

The other two Freelancers accompanied the pale blond man, making sure that he would get his shower. It took him endlessly long to do so, standing under the spray of water with far away thoughts. He didn’t even notice when the water turned cold.

 

Almost automatically, he got clean and got out of the shower about half an hour later with the same numb feeling as when he went in.

 

York was sitting there, his hair looking wet. He obviously had already gotten clean. Taking Carolina’s absence as a clue, he suspected her of having gone to get clean herself.

 

North felt like crashing on the bed. His body was tired enough, but he doubted that his mind would let him.

 

Standing in the room and feeling oddly lost, he could see York getting up, the man with the blind eye telling North to follow him.

 

They both walked up to the upper floor. Carolina was standing in the hallway and waiting for them to join her. Her hair looked as wet as York’s, she obviously had taken her shower too and was now waiting for them.

 

All three of them started walking down the hall, soon meeting up at Wash’s room. Being the CO had gotten him the biggest room.

 

Entering it, the purple and green colored soldier could see many of Ala’s friends sitting in the room together. Obviously none of them felt like they wanted to be alone at this time.

 

There were Doc and Donut, together with Caboose. All three of them were curled up in blankets, the biggest one of them and the dirty blond both sniffling and having red eyes.

 

There was Sarge, sitting in a corner with his shotgun, looking oddly unfazed by everything but given the reactions of the others this was either normal or Sarge was just pretending.

 

Simmons was in another corner of the room, curled up with his knees pulled up to his chest. Grif was sitting beside him, looking apathetic but still remarkably closer to the nerd than was necessary. He had his weight braced on his hands, one of them placed behind the nerd for comfort. If he felt like it, Simmons could still lean into the lazy Hawaiian.

 

York and Carolina had both taken places beside the door, Carolina leaning into her boyfriend. York waved him over, saying he should sit down with them.

 

In front of Wash’s folded up cot, there was said Freelancer. Junior, the huge Sangheili, was sitting beside him, closely pressed to Wash and his dad on their left side.

 

Speaking of Tucker… Said man was leaning against Wash’s chest, spread over Junior’s legs and connecting all three of them somehow. Every one of them had bodily contact to the other two sitting with them.

 

Tucker was sitting sideward leaning with his left side into Wash’s chest, legs stretched out to the left side of Wash. His head was leaning against Wash’s shoulders and the Freelancer had one of his hands gently laid around his shoulders across his back, the other was resting around Tucker’s waist. The steel and yellow-armored Freelancer had his legs folded around his boyfriend. His head was carefully resting against the dreadlocked head of Tucker.

 

What hurt North the most was the empty and hollow look on Tucker’s face, the red-rimmed eyes and the overall miserable look he was sporting.

 

He could understand that feeling, given that him and Ala were siblings.

 

North could feel the same emptiness and sadness in his own chest and that made it so different.

 

In any case, none of the guys seemed to want to be alone right now after something so tragic had happened.

 

Thinking of it now, there had been so many hints. The way she had been walking, the way her voice sounded—foremost in battle where her voice had sounded much more like Ala back then when she was happy.

 

The way she had avoided him, and how Tucker and Wash seemed to know something but hadn’t wanted to say anything to him on the subject since they all seemed to have some kind of no-talking-about-it agreement in effect.

 

And there was the thing about York meeting Carolina.

 

Sure, the odds had been against it but there was a small chance, even if it only was a little bit of hope saying that, that he would maybe meet Ala again too.

 

But given the fact that he had always been the more realistic-minded twin between himself and South, and given the fact that it was highly unlikely that he would meet Ala ten years later on a planet far away from their last meeting point, he didn’t want to read too much into it.

 

He always was trying to be rational and he knew that meeting his girlfriend again after such a long time was nearly impossible.

 

Already being on another planet had turned the tables on him, and having ten years between now and the last time they had seen each other made the chances of meeting again nearly impossible.

 

Which was why he always thought that Mac, the person he had met here on Chorus, couldn’t possibly be Ala even though they both looked so alike.

 

There were so many hints that he _should_ have noticed and still he hadn’t.

 

“Stop beating yourself up for not having noticed.” As always, Carolina immediately knew how to interpret the expressions and silences of each of her former team members.

 

“I know, it’s just…. There were so many hints that I should have noticed.” He replied silently to Carolina’s remark.

 

“She didn’t want you to know and when having to live undercover, you learn to fool everyone.” Wash chimed in, looking over from his space on the floor with Tucker, his head still resting against the head of his boyfriend, “Besides, how large were the odds of you meeting her after ten years on a completely foreign planet?”

 

North sighed at that, “Astronomically small.” He replied, an emptiness to his tone that made him startle about how his own voice sounded so empty and void of emotion.

 

“See.” York spoke, “We both were extremely lucky in that department.”

 

“You more than me.” North replied with the same empty voice, looking out of the window where he could see the two other moons starting to rise. The one they came from would always be prominent in the sky for the next few years until it would disappear on the other side of the planet again.

 

“Actually...” Wash was gently caressing Tucker’s right upper arm where North could see the intricate teal pattern he had noticed earlier from having had Junior. Seeing him sitting beside the two men, it was almost impossible for the pale blond Freelancer to imagine Tucker once having been pregnant with that individual.

 

Anyway, back to Wash talking, “We wouldn’t be here at all if it hadn’t have been for the ship crashing here.”

 

North had the feeling that Wash didn’t want to explain too much about the whys of the ship crashing to keep it simple and to get the message across.

 

North smiled sadly, “So it was more a kind of crazy luck that we were united here again?”

 

Carolina laughed lowly, “You can say that. If the ship hadn’t crashed, we would be on Earth and living our lives as famous veterans.”

 

“I can’t imagine you being a veteran and sitting at home. You’re born for the battlefield and I doubt you will leave that out of your free will.” He replied, looking over to her who was giving him her trademark smirk.

 

“Well, I almost did.” She replied with a low laugh.

 

“Right.” He replied again, turning his head back to the window and looking out. It was dark by now and the stars had started to appear in the sky.

 

All of them had their blankets with them, York even having been so mindful as to take his and North’s too.

 

After another two hours passed and many of the guys started to lie down, even Wash and Tucker deciding to try and get some shut eye.

 

Twenty years ago, North would have reacted angry and hurt because he would have felt like he was the only one grieving or feeling sorrow for the injured person while everyone else seemed to return to their regular lives and go to sleep.

 

Today, he knew that everyone else was grieving too. Everyone around here was. They were just as smart as him and trying to get some rest in order to not break down.

 

Ala in this case wouldn’t want them to be like zombies walking around on auto pilot because they were up all the time while she was recovering.

 

That was the reason why even North, York, and Carolina lied down. North was away a bit, keeping his distance to the pair lying closely cuddled to each other on the ground.

 

On his other side, he could see that Tucker had cuddled himself into Wash’s chest, his head tucked under Wash’s chin and his shoulders slightly shaking. Wash had his back to the rest of his friends, shielding Tucker off from the others to give him his privacy. At Tucker’s back, between the teal-armored soldier and the wall, was his son, having an arm under his head as a makeshift pillow while the other was on his father’s shoulder in a display of comfort.

 

He again made these strange sounds, speaking Sangheili, and trying to comfort his dad.

 

Wash was keeping the dreadlocked man as close to him as possible and tried to give as much comfort to the suffering man as was possible given the situation.

 

Looking around, he could see that Doc, Donut, and Caboose were lying in a nest of blankets.

 

Sarge was sitting in a corner with his eyes closed and his shotgun leaning against his upper body.

 

Grif was lying on his back with an arm under his head and another around Simmons’ shoulder, the other man lying tucked into his right side.

 

It was silent until Junior spoke up, much to North’s surprise in perfect English, “It’s funny. The first time we met, she almost shot me.”

 

North blinked at that before saying at length, “Right, I once was told that she didn’t really like the Sangheili. It had something to do with what had happened in her time in Elbon on Chare.”

 

The youngest of the team snorted, “She fucking hated me.”

 

Okay, North didn’t need to ask who his dad was given his language.

 

“Anyway,” the youngster continued, “It took my father some time to get her to chill out and not shoot me if I made any kind of unsuspected movement.” He chuckled at that memory, “It was understandable, given the fuck up that my brothers did. However, slowly, during our time when we were trapped in the temple on the digging site, she started to chill out and even talked to me. It was an interesting view. Seeing her change her opinion.” He remarked, sounding deeply impressed by her.

 

There was something else in Junior’s voice too. Was it respect? It sounded an awful lot like that. North had the impression that Junior also respected Ala a lot.

 

Tucker, who had calmed down again by now, took up the conversation, “That was a hard piece of work actually.” North showed a small smile at that, “But she changed. She’s fucking awesome.”

 

Looking around, he could see the others listening to the narrations of the two with interest. He felt obliged to tell something too.

 

“She has her own opinion based on things she has gone through. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t change it. If she got other information or learned something else through a new experience, she often used that to reassess her opinion.”

 

“Yeah, although I still was surprised. People tend to react like dicks when they’re told that Junior is my son and that I gave birth to him.” Tucker replied, his head still firmly tucked under Wash’s chin.

 

“Understandable.” North replied, immediately noticing the rather harsh sound to what he had just said, “I mean, it _is_ unusual.”

 

“Don’t sweat it.” At that, Tucker sat up and took a swig of a water bottle. North now realized that there were many of them there who had their bottles with them. He didn’t.

 

Fuck. He would get it later.

 

“I mean,” Tucker closed the lid of the bottle and put it on the ground, though he remained seated, “I really love my son, but if I had been in your or another situation and someone else had ended up having him… I would probably react the same way.” He said with a bitter smile.

 

“It is special, but I don’t think it is unnatural or whatever. Most importantly is that you love your kid.” North replied, getting a nod from York and Carolina who had been listening to them. As had everyone else, but they weren’t giving away their opinions on the subject as they probably didn’t feel like it at the moment.

 

“I fucking love him. Wouldn’t want to give him away anymore.” Tucker replied with a happy smile, looking over to his son who still was lying on the ground and looking up with a warm smile out of his amber eyes.

 

“Thanks, Dad.” The Sangheili replied.

 

“That’s most important.” North replied. “No matter who they are, they’re your kid and they earned every ounce of love you can give them.”

 

“You sound like a dad yourself.” Tucker replied with a casual smirk, although it didn’t completely reach his eyes.

 

Said man gave a contemplative hum, “No, I’m no dad but that’s what I promised myself I would give my kids in case I should ever have any. My dad used to overlook me and preferred South all the time since he wanted a girl and never a boy.”

 

“Your dad sounds like a pretty fucked up cockbite. Kids are kids, no matter what gender they are.” Tucker replied, sounding a bit shocked.

 

North shrugged at that, “Yeah, probably. This, however, was the reason why I decided to make it different. I just had to widen my concept of kids to alien kids too when I entered the army and was hopping from planet to planet with different species living on them.”

 

Tucker and some of the others nodded at that. There were many species living on the planets out in space. Arenians, Strassians, Elvari, Sangheili… Many had a more or less human-shaped body, as this seemed to be the best concept of Mother Nature for survival, no matter if some of the species were an offshoot of humans or had evolved themselves.

 

After that, all of the people around lapsed into a silence which wasn’t comfortable, but not as tight as the one from some hours before had been.

 

It was strange. All of them were in a state of anticipation, waiting for someone to show up and tell them that Ala was up and alright. But everyone seemed to suspect that as long as nobody showed up, everything was fine and they were still patching her up.

 

North couldn’t put a finger on it, but he got the strange feeling that the possibility of Ala dying wasn’t even a considerable option for the guys here.

 

He had already heard from Wash that the guys had an incredibly large amount of dumb luck when it came to surviving shit and that this obviously also rubbed off on the soldiers who joined them later, like Wash or Ala. They would survive shit others wouldn’t have just because they were stuck with the guys from Blood Gulch.

 

Given the fact that they had been Sim Troopers to start with, only cannon fodder for the Freelancers to train their combat skills on, it was even more surprising that they were still alive. They only had rudimentary skills in fighting, no special education like every other soldier would have received, they only got the second range of weapons in terms of quality, and often tended to get stuck in the dumbest of moments.

 

It really was a miracle that they were all here. North suspected that their guardian angels, if there were any, had their work cut out watching over them.

 

His thoughts were interrupted when there were knuckles rapping on the door to Wash’s room, said man asking for the person to enter.

 

While the door opened, all of the people began to sit up. The only person who stayed lying down was Caboose, already sleeping and out of it completely.

 

There was a medic standing there, and North recognized him as being one of the guys who had put an oxygen mask on Ala’s face when they had stopped in front of the hospital.

 

He looked extremely tired, worn out, and ready to crash in his bunk right away.

 

However, albeit looking worn out, he was smiling. It was a relieved smile and that was enough for the Freelancer and many of the others to let out the breaths that they had been holding when he had entered.

 

“I have some good news. We got your friend, Mac, stable. She took a serious beating, but she’s stable.” The medic began explaining, his face darkening a bit which made the others’ faces fall in anticipation of a huge _but_.

 

“In any case, we had to put her into an artificial coma because of the lung injury. It’s better given the pain of her injury and that the wound needs as less movement and disturbing as possible during healing. We hope to be able to wake her up in the next two to three weeks. We also gave her some medication to help her in recovering faster. I don’t want to know what medication it is since it’s made by Grey personally,” Everyone having had a treatment by the crazy doctor by now pulled a face at that, which was almost everyone in the room, “But this shit works wonders, so I, for my part, am positive. That’s not an official assumption of Doctor Grey, but one from me personally.” He continued explaining.

 

The young man had taken off his helmet. He had black hair and a darker complexion, somewhat akin to Grif sitting on the ground.

 

North thought that he remembered his name being James Joenes. His parents must have had a weird sense of humor.

 

However, despite the strange name, the medic continued, “We’ll have you wait for another couple of days until we can clear her for visitors. She has to stay in a place absolutely free of germs that could possibly harm her given her weakened immune system and lung injury.”

 

All of the people awake and listening to him nodded in understanding. Even a slight cold could mean her death at this point in her recovery. They first needed her to be stable and in better shape before they could visit her.

 

“Better keep her longer than necessary then. We prefer keeping her around.” Simmons muttered then.

 

The cyborg speaking up then obviously brought the young medic’s mind to something else, “Oh, about that. Doctor Grey told me to inform you that she prefers letting Ala recover completely before repairing her cybernetics. She first needs the energy to recover and any more pain could be potentially dangerous to her at this state.”

 

Simmons nodded to that, “I would prefer Doctor. Grey giving me her green light when it’s okay for me to repair the cybernetics.”

 

Joenes nodded at that. “I will inform her accordingly. I now wish you a good rest. Please try to rest a bit since you need your strength. I doubt Mac would prefer having wrecks around her upon waking up.”

“Only in the most positive way. Bow Chicka Bow Wow.” Tucker muttered, now even Wash having to snort and laugh lowly at that statement.

 

Joenes looked bewildered, but hurried to excuse himself and get out of the room.

 

The moment the door was closed, a heavy silence settled in the room.

 

It took the guys in the room a moment to sort their thoughts, before Sarge then spoke up. “Looks like that dirty Blue again had an incredible amount of luck, dangnabit!” His heavy southern accent made it difficult for North to decipher what he said.

 

He already knew that Sarge was still stuck to the rivalry of the color coded soldiers despite being friends with them. What surprised and alarmed him was another part of his speech.

 

“What do you mean by _again_?” He asked, although a bit harsher than intended.

 

It was silent for a moment, before Wash started talking, although in a reluctant manner, as if trying to explain everything as carefully and diplomatically as possible.

 

“Well, you remember when I told you about the fight on Sidewinder against The Meta?” He started.

 

Wash knew as well as North that he remembered having gotten told that since York and North wanted to know what they had missed in those ten years.

 

“Well… I haven’t exactly told everything about that. Mac, or Ala, had been there, fighting him alongside us. In some part of the fight, The Meta had gotten a hold of her left arm. He had twisted the arm on her back, up to the breaking point and was tearing at it until it snapped and started to rip.” The Freelancer swallowed dryly. He still could remember the horrible and agonizing screams from back then, her voice snapping and screeching in pain and horror.

 

“The arm didn’t come loose per se, but it was heavily damaged. Ripped arteries, sinews, nerves, broken bones. Long story short, we had to take her arm off after she dropped unconscious from the pain. We kept that state up with medicaments. Had to amputate the arm at her shoulder and Simmons here with Sarge created her a new arm out of cybernetics.”

 

“She’s a dirty Blue, but I’d be damned if I’m passing up a possibility to make a new cybernetic enhancement! Unless this possibility is called Grif!” Sarge muttered from his spot in the corner.

 

“Aw, love you too, Sarge.” Grif replied sarcastically from the ground, having flopped back down into a lying position the moment the medic was gone.

 

North felt overwhelmed, “Wait, so Ala has a cybernetic arm because of Maine?”

 

Wash pulled a face at that. “She insists on it being The Meta since Maine hadn’t been existing anymore at that point. He had snapped shortly before.”

 

“He still was Maine, on the outside. But the character that made him the guy you knew in the past was gone.” Carolina explained from beside North. He turned his head to look over to her, “He had already been The Meta when you and South confronted him. He hadn’t been the gentle giant anymore that you knew in Freelancer who used to give Connie piggy back rides.” The redhead explained.

 

It took North a moment to reply, but then he started to chuckle which earned him bewildered glances from the others.

 

“That’s so typical of Ala.” He felt a wave of sadness wash over him and bit his lip to not start to cry. Balling his fists until he felt his nails break through the skin in his palms, he drew a shuddering breath and continued, “She always sees the good in people, believing everyone could be good if they tried. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was thinking the same about Felix.”

 

Tucker made a strange sound which was neither approving nor denying, “She was like that ten years ago, when we just met and when what happened with The Meta occurred. But after that, she started changing.” He again got that distant look in his eyes, making it clear that he was thinking about something that had happened in the past, “After that, she started to believe that there were some people who were able to be plain mean. Like Price, Hargrove, Felix, or other dickwads.”

 

North snorted at that. He could reciprocate that feeling.

 

“However, in this big guy’s case, she first thought of him being a monster too. But when talking a bit more with Wash after having knocked him out, and from talking to you, North, she learned about the other side of the man. That’s why she decided on saying that it was The Meta and not the Maine that you used to know.” The dark-skinned man explained.

 

“Knocked you out?” York had caught up on that expression as well as North.

 

Wash’s smile derailed when he was directly addressed.

 

“Yeah, she had knocked me out. It was a bit of an unfortunate chain of happenings. After waking up, we talked a bit since she said something about having known another Freelancer, although she hadn’t told me which one of my friends she knew. Well, when she found out about me having been Recovery One and I had been complaining about not having been able to find your dog tags, she somehow snapped. I was lucky to have worn my helmet back then, otherwise she would have given me a major skull fracture. I only had a heavy concussion and a shiner for more than three weeks.”

 

“Boy, what a shiner.” Tucker had a shit-eating grin on his face and several guys in the room chuckled at the memory of the situation that most of them had witnessed.

 

Even more when they remembered Wash’s slurred answer of _Dunky-Hory_ before going down.

 

North smiled at that too, while York beside him commented with the same shit-eating grin as Tucker, “So you again put your foot in your mouth, eh, rookie?”

 

“How many times do I have to ask you to not call me rookie?” Wash snapped, his voice going up an octave.

 

This caused York and North to respectively chuckle before North took the conversation back up again.

 

Caboose had woken up too, having been brought up to date by Donut about Ala and was now listening to the guys talking.

 

“So Ala has my second set of dog tags?” Man, it still sounded so weird to talk about his clone.

 

“Yep, she wears them all the time. There’s something else on her dog tags, but I never could see what it is.” Tucker explained, making a slight sullen expression at that.

 

“Oh, I know!” Caboose chimed in. “She told me! She once was looking at it when I came in to play with her.”

 

North was already adapting to the speaking patterns of the big child in order to decipher what he was saying and to discern what was the truth and what was made-up in his stories.

 

“The dog tags couldn’t stay at their previous place and so they went to live with Mac because they knew that she is a nice person.” York was already getting a bewildered expression on his face, whereas Carolina, Tucker, and Wash got a fond expression watching their childlike member of Blue Team explain what happened, “There, living with Mac, the dog tags met a bracelet and they soon got a baby ring. When the violet bracelet died, the dog tags wanted to stay with Mac even more since they knew that Mac is good with kids. She often plays with them and loves them. She’s great.” The last words sounded sad, and accompanied by the crestfallen face they made North sigh.

 

Donut scooted over and laid an arm around the blue soldier.

 

It was silent until York started to chuckle, which soon developed into a full-fledged laugh, “Okay, that you wanted to marry her is nothing new to me, but that you already bought her a ring sounds definite to me. You already wanted to keep your chain and ball back then?” York asked with an amused chuckle in his voice.

 

North felt his cheeks heat up and he looked away, “I was just a step further than you, York. But you met your chain and ball earlier already and also didn’t seem to want to let her go.”

 

The guys around them were already starting to grin at their exchange, now knowing something that they could use to tease Mac once she was up again.

 

Both males having that exchange got red cheeks, giving away that this was a rather sensitive subject, with some awkward moments included, for the both of them.

 

“Oh yeah? Who?” Carolina asked in an innocent way, though it was obvious that she was merely acting that way despite her acting skills being surprisingly good.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” York exclaimed with an utterly speechless, bewildered, and incredulous expression, looking at his girlfriend like she had just grown two heads in a matter of moments.

 

This was enough for the guys in the room to erupt into laughter, with even Sarge smiling along to the cackling sounds of the people in the room.

 

North noticed that even Wash and Tucker were smiling. Junior’s shoulder was shaking as he was chuckling along with the others. Seeing the guys laughing, he too started to grin, as did York who had finally gotten the joke, with Carolina following soon after.

 

It was a relieving laugh, something everyone in the room had been desperately craving for. It was indeed cathartic. It was taking a huge weight off their shoulders, making them forget about the dire situation for a moment and even making the situation at hand look less dire.

 

When everyone had calmed down halfway, another silence settled in again. It wasn’t as loaded as the previous one, although it was still a bit strained.

 

After having received the good news, the guys soon started to file out of the room.

 

Sarge was the first one to go, followed by Grif and Simmons. Doc, Donut, and Caboose were the next three out the door, deciding to stay together in Donut’s room for the night. Carolina and York left soon too.

 

North was the last, leaving just when Wash put down the bed and readied it for Tucker to clamber in.

 

There was a second bed that North just noticed for Junior to lie in. He suspected it was the one from Tucker’s room. It stood close enough to the other cot for them to be together, but had enough space in between so Tucker and Wash could get out of their bed without disturbing the young Sangheili.

 

After having bid his goodbyes, he left the room, and only just saw how Wash got in the cot beside Tucker and how the younger male immediately snuggled into his chest.

 

North silently closed the door and walked down to his room.

 

Arriving there, he drank some water and thought about the happenings of today.

 

He had been surprised and shocked to realize who Mac really was, and there would be a lot to talk about once she was doing better.

 

But, first of all, she needed to get better and be strong enough again for that kind of talk. And North too had to sort out his thoughts about everything.

 

Anyways, Joenes had been right. He needed sleep and he would get that first.

 

He could think about everything tomorrow or when Ala woke up. There still was the possibility that she wouldn’t wake up again after that. However, he wanted to be prepared and to know what he thought about everything for when she would wake up.

 

But that would take another two or three weeks, and getting a good night’s rest first definitely wouldn’t hurt.

 

Moving under his covers until he was comfortable, he closed his eyes and felt fatigue wash over him like a wave.

 

The whole situation wouldn’t look as bad as it did today anymore tomorrow.


	29. Chapter 29

The next few days were an odd mix of flying by extremely fast and not wanting to end, or at least it seemed like that to North.

 

Training himself, helping the Lieutenants who Ala had trained previously, helping the other soldiers with their training, going on salvage missions with soldiers, talking with Kimball about the reconstruction of the city. All of that made the time fly by incredibly fast.

 

But there were the times where he had moments to himself, like during the night when he was trying to sleep where the minutes stretched to hours, and hours seemed to stretch to days—or at least it felt like that.

 

He never really had been one who suffered from insomnia, but given what happened not even a week ago, he guessed it could be understandable that he wasn’t really up for sleeping. Suffering from insomnia in such a situation was a reasonable thing, although it was not a very healthy experience.

 

Sighing, he closed his eyes and at least tried to doze for a while to at least get a rudimentary amount of rest.

 

North was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Mac turned out to be Ala, and that she was still in an artificial coma and fighting for survival in the infirmary. Not to mention that they still weren’t allowed to visit her.

 

Well, that was understandable on one hand. He would rather not visit her if it meant that he wouldn’t endanger her life. He didn’t want her to die or have massive problems after healing by being so selfish and visiting her although the doctors had said _no_.

 

Closing his eyes, he searched his brain for better memories of their time together from about ten years ago, and tried willing himself to sleep with them.

 

***

 

After more than two weeks since Ala had gotten injured, Dr. Grey informed them that they would try to wake her up.

 

The wounds were healing up nicely so as soon as the medication was lessened enough and she was out of the dangerous phase of waking up, people would be allowed to meet her.

 

But they would have to wear masks and gloves just to be safe as the wound was still healing. And, of course, nobody who was sick or had a cold would be allowed to visit her. And not everyone could go in at the same time. Three people tops were allowed.

 

It took about twelve hours until the medication was reduced enough for her to not be in immediate danger anymore. She was still sleeping, but Grey said that this was because of the remaining medication in her system. This would wear off in the next few hours and she should wake up.

 

Each and every member of the Blood Gulch Crew was standing outside of the room, all of them proceeding to get ready. First of all, Tucker and North insisted that the others should go and visit her since both men obviously wanted to stay a bit longer and having the others wait wasn’t really nice. It was preferable to let the others go in first and take your sweet time upon entering last.

 

Carolina and York went in first, coming out about fifteen minutes later. It was strange staying beside someone you hardly know in York’s case, or who was still unconscious and wouldn’t answer.

 

Next were Doc, Donut, and Caboose, with the two former guys making sure that the latter wouldn’t set something on fire.

 

The third group consisted of Simmons, Grif, and Sarge, the leader of the Reds accompanying the two to make sure Grif wouldn’t eat something he shouldn’t and to shoot him should he find him doing so. Simmons would be able to check her cybernetics when not having to watch Grif all the time.

 

In the end, there was Wash, Tucker, and North entering the room.

 

There was a chair beside every side of her bed and North immediately took up the chair on her right side, carefully reaching out for her hand to cover her small and pale one with his big one. It was always such a big difference. For being so tall, she was still frail and small, having delicately formed hands and limbs. She was not broad and muscular as he was. She was more the one to be agile and nimble, landing her hits with not much force but with high accuracy.

 

On the other side of the bed, Tucker sat in the chair with his shoulders slumped. He looked as tired as North felt.

 

Wash didn’t look much better. North suspected that the two of them had been up all night because neither was able to get some sleep.

 

Junior was currently undergoing another health check, but Tucker promised the young alien that he and Wash would take him for a visit later on. Dr. Grey wanted to be sure that whatever drug the Sangheili had gotten from Felix wouldn’t affect him in the future.

 

North braced his head on his free hand and closed his eyes, subconsciously searching for her pulse.

 

The beeping sound of the machines she was hooked up to was enough for him to know that she was alive, but _still_. It was like a second confirmation that the machines weren’t just beeping away to another pulse and Ala here was already long dead.

 

For the first time, North dared to look at her face.

 

There was the low sound of an artificial lung doing the breathing for her. There was a tube sticking out of her mouth. The oldest of the Freelancers was positive that this oral airway went down her throat and was keeping the airstream into her lungs steady.

 

There were bandages around various places on her body. Many of them weren’t visible since they were hidden by the tracksuit pants and the shirt she was wearing, along with the blanket pulled up to her chest, but there were some patches on her face such as the one covering a split eyebrow and a broken cheekbone. There also was one on her arm, as Felix had landed a hit there with his knife.

 

She looked so pale and miserable, not like he remembered her.

 

North remembered her being vivid, happy, and always having this special spark in her eyes.

 

Now she was lying still, almost as though she were dead, her hand eerily cold and her chest almost not moving when the artificial lung pumped oxygen into her lungs.

 

Looking up, he could see Tucker sitting there and regarding her face with a strange blend of anger, tiredness, and sadness.

 

What surprised him the most was when the aqua-clad soldier suddenly spoke up. His voice sounded hoarse and husky, obviously from crying if the red-rimmed eyes were any indicator and not just from the lack of sleep.

 

“You better be waking up soon. I have some shit to give you back, like the rubber bullets you used to shoot at me at the digging site.” He drew a shuddering breath.

 

Wash, who was standing behind the chair and had both of his hands on Tucker’s shoulders squeezed them gently to comfort the young male.

 

Tucker then continued, “Junior is up and well, thanks to you. But he wants to say thank you himself. When you are _awake_ and _doing well again_.”

 

The last words were bit out and Wash’s grip on Tuckers shoulders became a bit tighter when he noticed that the dark-skinned man again was fighting with his tears.

 

“He doesn’t want to see the corpse of one of his dearest friends and have to say goodbye after being reunited again after so long.” He then bit out, tilting his head forward.

 

The shaking shoulders and the shuddering breathing gave away that Ala’s adopted brother was fighting against his emotions again.

 

North had been observing the young male silently, not saying a word, just listening to what the young male had to say.

 

It was Wash who spoke up after a while, “Tucker, how about we go over to the room where they are checking on Junior? I’m sure he would be happy if you’re with him for that.”

 

Tucker only nodded and got up. Before turning around to leave, he again looked at Ala, “You better wake up, sis, or I’m going to get really angry.”

 

North couldn’t help but laugh at that. He doubted Ala would be really bothered about Tucker being angry if she was deceased, but he could reciprocate the feeling.

 

On top of that, North had once heard that, depending on the case, people could hear you in their coma and react to it. So if Ala had heard that, he hoped that she would move heaven and hell to wake up again.

 

***

 

Days passed again.

 

One, two, three… On the fourth day, Mac still hadn’t woken up and that was dulling not only Tucker’s and North’s moods.

 

Wash sighed, lying on his back and keeping Tucker close. He was cuddled up closely into his right side, lying between the wall and the Freelancer.

 

Wash knew that the aqua-clad Sim Trooper wasn’t sleeping, but he was lying still for once. His body looked tired enough, but his mind was wandering and preventing his body from falling asleep. That was why he was so still currently. His body was too tired to move and tried to get as much rest as it could, while his mind wandered and he was caught up in his thoughts.

 

Wash sighed deeply, slightly tightening his grip around Tucker’s shoulders to keep him close. The thumb of his other hand, which laid on Tucker’s hand on Wash’s chest, stroked over said man’s hand absentmindedly.

 

Wash too was suffering from insomnia again. His body needed the rest, which is why he was lying still too, but his mind was too riled up to sleep, although he was so tired currently that he felt like freaking out at any moment should something unexpected happen.

 

Luckily though, the war was over now and they were able to walk around without their armor on most of the time and the mood in the city seemed lighter in general.

 

Speaking of mood… He had heard that Mac’s team had visited her in the hospital too, once or twice. It wasn’t only the guys of Blood Gulch suffering, he realized, the city was too. She was a hero for them as much as Tucker, Sarge, Grif, Simmons, or Caboose were. Consequently, they were suffering for her too.

 

He had realized that there were a lot of flowers standing in a room nearby, as Doctor Grey still made sure there would be nothing in the room that could possibly endanger her.

 

Later on that day, Doctor Grey had ordered all of the people of the Blood Gulch Crew, Junior, and the four Freelancers in one of the anterooms in the hospital.

 

Everyone in the room was tense with anticipation, all of them knowing that Mac should be _awake by now_ and the fact that she wasn’t was worrying in and of itself.

 

“I am sure you all know why I called you here.” She started, not the slightest hint of her usual cheery voice, just like the evening when they came back with Mach fighting for her life, “From the medication stance, she should have been awake long ago. The medication wore off already two days ago at the latest and the fact that she is not waking up has another reason.”

 

All of the people were silent, but many of them already knew about what the doctor was talking.

 

“The reason why she isn’t waking up isn’t due to a physical cause. It’s because of psychological issues. She either can’t or won’t wake up because there’s something keeping her from doing so.” Doctor Grey passed on saying that she probably didn’t want to wake up anymore and wanted to stay like that for some reason.

 

She knew Mac herself and she had always been a fighter, which is why even she, against all medical rationality, wanted to believe that Mac would wake up again.

 

“In any case, the only thing I can ask of you, if you feel up to it, is to keep on visiting her. Talk to her, try to include her in your discussions. That’s the only thing that could help her find her way back at the moment.” She breathed in deeply before continuing, “I once had a patient who said that he was lost during the coma and only found his way back because his friends were often talking with him so he could find his way out of the labyrinth he was in. I hope it’s the same in her case. It won’t hurt to try.” She concluded, letting the others process the information.

 

“So you’re saying that she can’t or won’t wake up because there’s something on her mind that keeps her from doing so? And talking maybe helps?” Simmons concluded, looking up, and Wash realized for the first time that the others were looking tired too.

 

Not as bad as North, or Tucker, or himself, but still tired. It seemed to have taken a toll on all of them.

 

She might have been a Blue, but she had been fighting with them since she joined.

 

She had helped Simmons get along with the girls better, would often shoo Grif out of the canteen to make him train the Lieutenants even if it meant that he was training the Lieutenants on how to break into the mess hall five minutes later with her still being around, had helped Tucker train and channel the energy of his grief and anger of losing Wash during the fight, made sure that Caboose wouldn’t shoot someone or set something on fire by accident… She was doing the same things as the others did.

 

Tucker often helped Simmons, Wash, and Caboose too. Simmons often helped the others as well… et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

 

Wash sighed. He really hoped she would be waking up again soon. Although he had the opinion that Mac was too much of a fighter to just die like that, he still had to think about that possibility. There was a slight chance that she would fall asleep and never wake up again.

 

Standing up after Grey left, he pulled Tucker with him, “Okay, then let’s try that.”

 

He could feel the glances of the others on him. Most of them were insecure and in search of leads.

 

“It’s a chance, so let’s try all we can to get her back.” He intensified his grip around Tucker marginally. He didn’t only want to comfort Tucker, he needed some comfort too at the moment. He needed some comfort and confirmation that he was doing the right thing.

 

Beside him, he could hear Tucker exhale too and how he pulled his shoulders back, “Okay, yeah, let’s try it.”

 

All the others nodded, soon after that they made up a plan so that almost all the time someone would be around Mac to make sure she wasn’t alone upon waking up.

 

North was something like a constant visitor, Grey having organized a bed for him to sleep in so that he would not break his back by sleeping on the chair.

 

Now that the war was over, there weren’t as many injured soldiers and people as during the war. Which was why Grey could allow someone staying for a change of pace, such as in North’s case. At least she was the one who proposed that they all keep Mac company.

 

***

 

More than a month later, the status quo hadn’t changed.

 

North was still sitting with Ala whenever he had the possibility of doing so. Wash, Tucker, and the others would drop by regularly, although Wash, Tucker, and Junior were the most frequent visitors besides North.

 

Besides caring for the woman still lying in the coma, they had other things to do. Reorganizing Armonia’s social structure, rebuilding the city after it was almost completely destroyed, making sure the economy was properly set up and wouldn’t break down within months from now on, amongst many other things.

 

There were negotiations to be had with the Sangheili and the scattered groups of Chorus-inhabitants to make sure that the planet will evolve evenly and without anyone being at a disadvantage.

 

There were the Sangheili as previously mentioned. Junior had contacted them some days ago, telling them that he had gotten captured by a rebel group and that he had been rescued by the Chorus United Federal Armies. He told them that he would like the leading Sangheili diplomats to meet him in Armonia to negotiate about the proper reward to give for the help of the Armonian army.

 

There were other things that Kimball had also mentioned, but first these things were the most important, all the other things could follow later on.

 

It was evening, soon turning to night.

 

Tucker and Wash were sitting on the other side of Ala where her cybernetics were. Grey had informed them that any surgery was set off until she recovered. Her body needed its strength to recover from her lung injury.

 

North suspected that there had to be several surgeries done in order to get her arm functioning again.

 

Anyways, Tucker and Wash informed him that they were getting some shuteye. Junior was saying something about wanting to put off the meeting with the Sangheili diplomats for as long as possible since he wanted to introduce Ala to them for having saved him.

 

North nodded, being able to understand that feeling perfectly well, although his hope of her waking up anytime soon faded with every day passing by that she didn’t give a reaction to their interactions with her.

 

When the door closed, North decided to get up and lie down on the bed beside her to try to get some sleep since he had another day of organization ahead.

 

Theta was sitting on the pillow beside Ala’s head, her face looking even paler when the violet hue of the Fragment illuminated her face.

 

It was silent for a moment, until Theta suddenly spoke up, “Do you think she’s going to wake up?”

 

“I don’t know, Theta.” North sighed, turning on his side to watch the Fragment and Ala.

 

“I wish she would.” the Fragment muttered with a crestfallen note to his voice.

 

“Me too, buddy, me too.” North muttered, rubbing his burning eyes. They had started burning sometime during the last few days due to exhaustion.

 

“Would you mind if I try something?” the Fragment suddenly asked, looking up and directly at North.

 

“You have anything particular in mind?” North asked, regarding the Fragment with surprise and curiosity.

 

“Yeah, but I prefer trying it out before telling you. There’s still the possibility that something could go wrong.” The young Fragment explained, standing up and staring at the face of the woman, “I just want to try it. I want to make sure we tried everything we could.” He explained, kicking an imaginary pebble.

 

North looked over to the bed where the two most important people in his life were standing and respectively lying.

 

A contemplative frown appeared on his features as he was thinking about Theta’s idea.

 

There was a possibility that it could work. There was also the possibility that it wouldn’t work out or one of them would take damage.

 

But if they didn’t do something, Ala might never wake up and they would beat themselves up for the rest of their lives that they didn’t try everything possible. Theta was right.

 

“Okay, do it. Just take care of yourself and her. You’re responsible for her until you return, okay?” North then agreed with the Fragment’s idea.

 

“Okay, I will.” The Fragment replied, turning around and staring down at the face of the black-haired woman.

 

North could see that the figure of the little guy started to fade until he was completely gone.

 

However, he didn’t feel the prickling in the back of his head that he usually did when Theta returned into his very own part of North’s mind where he would be whenever he wasn’t showing himself.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all! :D

The next day, Wash was surprised to not see North around the war room or the Situation Room as it was called now since the war was over and they all thought that it was better to change the name of it since they didn’t want to jinx something.

 

Anyways, when they had gathered that morning and North wasn’t around, Wash couldn’t help but ask about the other man.  North being missing wasn’t lost on the other people there either. Tucker had already shot him a curious glance, as did the others, but he couldn’t tell them what was up except by asking Kimball for the necessary information first.

 

“He requested to stay by Mac’s side, since he doesn’t want to go too far away from her. He wasn’t able to give me many details, but it seems that Theta is up to something.” Kimball informed Wash, “Since they’re connected, he has to stay close to give Theta every minute he needs to do what he needs to.”

This caused the others to look at her even more curiously.

 

The leader of Armonia and Chorus closed her eyes, massaging the bridge of her nose. She looked tired, Wash noticed. Had she slept during the last few days or had she been so consumed in her work that she had again forgot to do so?

 

“I can’t tell you more than that since Theta also didn’t inform North about what he was going to do. As far as I heard, Theta is up to something but didn’t give out too much information since it could go wrong just as likely as it could work out.” Kimball concluded her statement, rubbing a hand over her eyes.

 

For once, it was Tucker who spoke up, although he did so quietly. He hadn’t spoken much since Ala had fallen into a coma. He was not himself, but that was understandable given that it was his adopted sister who was lying in a coma.

 

“I don’t know what you think of this whole situation, but we’ve been working our asses off. Besides, it doesn’t feel right to talk about reconstruction when Ala isn’t around but lying in a coma and fighting for survival.” He swallowed dryly, taking a step towards Wash in an attempt to seek comfort from him, “On top of that, North isn’t around too, so how about we all get some rest. You too, Kimball. You can barely stand on your feet. When did you sleep last?”

 

She opened her mouth, but closed it after some moments of not having said anything, looking at the tablet in front of her with a caught expression.

 

Tucker smiled, although this smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “See? So, I suggest we take some time off.  Maybe a day or two to recover. We shouldn’t work our asses off and break down after everything is done. We need to watch out for our health too.”

Kimball looked ready to protest, but then she looked around into the faces of each person in the Situation Room, and saw every one of them nod.

 

She sighed, deeply and heavily, “As I see that you are outnumbering me on that, I will comply for once. Two days, make sure you get some rest. And I will do the same.” Kimball added when she saw Tucker’s stern glance, “I will take it easier too and get a good night’s rest today.”

 

Five minutes later, the guys were out of the Situation Room.   Many of them went back to their rooms directly, lying back down on their cots and trying to get some more sleep.

Tucker, Wash, and Junior dropped by the infirmary, informing North about what was going on and keeping Ala company for awhile.

 

After another two hours where North wasn’t talking much, the three of them left again with two of them trying to fight their insomnia. The shadows under Tucker’s eyes were visible by now, despite his rather dark complexion.

Wash didn’t look any better and even Junior had kind of a slouch in his posture giving away his tiredness.

 

***

 

When the door closed, North sighed. He was caught once more with his own thoughts, having nobody to talk with.

 

Even Theta was gone to try whatever he was thinking could help and the silence settling in was deafeningly loud to his ears.

 

Lying back down, the Freelancer decided to try to get some more sleep, as he had dark shadows under his eyes just like Tucker and Wash did, although his were more visible given his light complexion.

 

Closing his eyes and willing his mind and body into a dark and dreamless sleep, he only hoped that Theta was doing okay and that he was able to help Ala, no matter what he had to do to do so. His biggest hope was to get both of his precious ones back safe and sound, more or less, and that he would be able to live together with them after that.

 

***

 

When a young man dressed in violet opened his pale blue eyes, he could see nothing but darkness.

 

It was pitch black around him, so dark that he couldn’t even see his hand before his eyes.

 

He closed his eyes again, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He had never had a body, but he just knew that he had to do that in order to see more.

 

Indeed, when he opened his eyes again, he could see the faint outlines of a house in front of him. It was a better-off suburban region from the America of Old Earth that he knew of from his and North’s memories.

 

The only difference between the memories and the actual situation was the fact that there was only one of the houses that was really visible. The others were somewhat fuzzy, which the young male suspected meant that they weren’t of interest.

 

There was one house however, with a nice garden in front of it. The house was white and nicely kept in shape. Just like there was a mom keeping the house in shape, a father going to work every day, and kids being around them to make the picture complete.

 

Following his instincts, he walked up the driveway to the clearly visible house and entered it without knocking. He suspected that there was only one person around. And he doubted said person would open the door given her situation.

 

Albeit never having been in such a house himself, he knew from memory that the bedroom of the kids usually was located in the upper story of the house.

 

Walking up the stairs, he could see two doors to different dorms with the names Kristina and Alaska written on tablets hanging up on the doors.  A typical suburban family having two kids.

 

Since he was looking for Ala, he opened her door and indeed soon saw her sitting on her bed, her knees drawn up to her chest.

 

It was awkward, to say the least. It was strange standing here and seeing the inside of Ala’s head, but now he was here and he had a mission. Which is why he had to stay focused.

 

Walking over to the bed, he stopped in front of it and looked down on the female sitting there, “Ala?”

He could see how she curled up into herself even more.

 

“It’s quite dark in here, huh?” he started awkwardly.

When no response came, he sighed. Difficult task.

“I’m going to… turn the lights on, okay?” He asked, not waiting for an answer and walking over to the light switch.

 

Turning it on, he could see the room in all its detail. There were some posters of old terrestrial boy bands, a desk for homework, a wardrobe, a box spring bed and some things standing around—although not much. Ala never had been one for much decoration, he suspected.

 

Sighing, he walked back over to the bed standing beside the door, with only a small bedside table in between the door and the bed. Sitting down on it, he regarded the girl sitting on the bed. She had long black hair and porcelain-like skin.

 

“You’re afraid of the dark, so I guess you’re feeling better?” the young male asked.

It took her a moment, but eventually she nodded, though she did not open up her posture.

In want of other opportunities, he sat there, waiting for Ala to say a word.

 

It took her what felt like an eternity to him, but eventually she started talking, “Why are you here?”

 

For once, the young male restrained himself from taking offense to that question and instead smiled. It looked strange given how one only saw him with his armor and helmet on normally.

 

“I came because we’re all missing you. Simmons, Grif, Sarge, Donut, Caboose, Wash, Carolina, York, Kimball, Tucker, Junior, North, me, and all of the other people of Chorus you saved or taught how to snipe.” He explained, looking over to her.

She had lifted her head and looked at him with big, round eyes.

 

He laughed lowly, “Really. They’re all visiting you at least once per day and hoping you will wake up again.” He scratched the back of his head, “They’re all waiting for you to wake up because you left a huge hole in our midst when you fell into a coma.”

 

It was silent for a moment, but Theta took it as a good sign that she stretched her legs and looked at him while leaning against the wall behind the bed.

 

“You’re an important part of the group and of our family. We’re all family to each other. And a family member falling into a coma without knowing if she’ll wake up makes us all anxious and nervous.  Because all of them want you back. I mean,” With that he combed his hand through his messy black hair, “I know you don’t have the possibility to do so, but if you could see Tucker and the others lately you would be so surprised.” At that he shot her a slightly derailed smile.

 

“Their eye rings reach almost down to the ground! They aren’t really sleeping anymore since you fell into a coma. Besides, Tucker wanted to try to get Kimball to postpone the discussions about the reconstruction of Armonia until you’re back. He thinks it’s only going to work with you, since you fought with them and your opinion is important.”

 

It was silent again, only for Theta to get to his feet when he suddenly had an idea, “Come with me.”

 

With that, he grabbed her hand and pulled Ala to her feet and down the hall outside the house. It was still dark, but he felt like the world had started to light up the moment that Ala put a foot on the patio outside the house.

 

It seemed like… The sun was about to start to rise. And with the environment starting to lighten up, there also was a low mumble that could be heard which Theta deciphered as North’s voice. He seemed to be telling something about their shared past. Some funny anecdote since he could feel some kind of sad happiness wash over him.

 

Ala seemed to notice the voice floating from somewhere too, since she lifted her head and looked around curiously. The other houses were still fuzzy, but Theta supposed it was because Ala’s memory was fuzzy in and of itself.

 

“North.” He explained matter-of-factly, looking up.

Ala looked up into the direction the voice came from as well.

 

“He’s waiting for you to wake up too. We all are.” He explained, smiling over to her.

“You are?” She asked, sounding insecure, which made Theta do a double take. He had never heard her sound so insecure before.

“Yes, we all are.” He repeated, “We’re waiting for you to wake up and become a part of our family again.”

 

Looking down to her feet, Theta could see how she was kicking an imaginary stone away.

 

“I am caught here somehow.” She admitted at length, “I am afraid of the dark around me. I’m afraid of returning and being left alone. I am afraid of waking up and realizing I’m not needed anymore.”

 

It was silent for a long time before Theta breathed out long and slowly.

“I can see that.” He said at length, “But look around you. Is it dark now?”

 

At that, as if noticing it for the first time, she looked around and he could see her posture relax a little.

“No, it’s bright and warm.” She replied, looking relieved and leaning her head up to let the sun shine on her face.

 

“See?” The Fragment replied, mimicking her expression to enjoy having the sensation of the sun on his skin, “I already told you that people are waiting for you to wake up. You are needed. Hell,” he put his hands over his face, “North’s sleeping on the cot beside your bed. I have to literally kick him out of it to get him to take a shower or participate in the meetings.” He laughed lowly at that.

 

“The others are waiting for you to return because they need you.” He continued explaining, “They need you as a friend, as a partner, and as a sister.” He lifted a finger for each of the points he just listed.

 

“I mean, who gave Tucker and Wash a shoe to their butts to get them to become a couple? Who was fighting, trying to buy the others enough time to flee even if you did not succeed in defeating Felix? Who saved Junior? Who gathered South and North up on a stormy night and gave them shelter? Who—“

“Okay! Okay! Okay!” Alaska lifted her hands up in defense, laughing for the first time since Theta had found her.

“Okay!” She repeated after a while, again turning her head to hear from where the voice came.

 

His voice was clearer this time and they both could hear that North was talking about how they were banging their heads together constantly during the time when North was living together with Ala.

She smiled fondly at that and Theta could hear her laugh lowly.

 

“You really are sure that the guys are still waiting? That they still want me?” She asked again, as if to make sure Theta wasn’t shitting with her, “You know, I’ve lost so many people, I…” she trailed off, looking away from Theta and the voice drifting from somewhere.

 

At that, Theta snorted, “Come on! I mean, how long have you been with the guys by now? And how many times have they saved your ass and you saved theirs? If they didn’t want you, they would have left you to die on Sidewinder, but they took you with them and gave you a cybernetic arm.” He threw his hands up in the air.

 

“I mean, even Sarge misses you! Even if he’s not really able to show it.” He laughed at that, shaking his head, “He hates the Blues but he’s missing you too. And with every day passing that you’re not awake and with them, they all are getting more and more desperate.” He explained.

 

“Come back, Ala, we all need you back safe and sound.” He finished, looking down at his feet while rubbing the back of his head.

 

It was silent for a long while, the voice of North still drifting through her mind. Almost absentmindedly, she lifted her right hand and looked at it, looking slightly puzzled.

 

“You know…” Theta said, not looking at her, “North has never let go of your hand while he’s been sitting beside your bed and waiting for you to wake up.”

 

A smile spread over Theta’s face when he could see Ala’s face splitting into a fond smile too when she realized that the feeling on her right hand was the warmth of North’s hand on hers.

 

“I… would love to come back. But I don’t know if I am able to really find my way back.” She muttered, clenching her hand into a fist and letting it sink back again.

 

“It doesn’t matter if you manage it. The most important thing is to just try it.” Theta replied, taking another step forward. He felt like he had to return soon since this here wasn’t only draining for him but for North also. He was threatening to fall asleep again. Theta suspected he had been up for a while now and was tired.

 

“Try it, and you’re going to be fine. You’ll find your way back eventually.” He said, feeling his form flicker. Sighing, he turned to Ala, “I have to go now. I feel my energy getting drained. I can’t stay with you all the time since my chip’s not implanted in your neural system. It’s draining for North too and, besides that, you have to find your way back to the real world on your own.”

 

It was silent once more, but then Ala looked up and Theta felt relieved to see that the old sparkle was back in her eyes again. Theta felt like this was easier than he thought, but he knew very well that she had a lot of shit to sort out with the others after she had woken up again.

 

“I will try then.” She replied, a grin appearing on her face.

“Do that. I’ll go back to rest to be back online when you’re back.” Theta’s figure started disappearing.

“Yeah. Thanks, Theta.” She replied.

 

However, before Theta could disappear, she grasped his arm.

“Could you do me a favor?” She asked sheepishly.

Theta nodded at that, waiting for her to continue, “Could you ask North to keep on talking? I feel like he’s going to be able to show me the way out of here.”

 

The young male blinked at her for some moments before starting to grin, “Sure can. See you soon.” He replied before vanishing completely.

 

The sun had risen completely by now and Ala could see a wide plain starting to spread out at the end of the street with the houses.

 

Listening, she could hear North telling her about his fuck up in the bar back in New Bangkok, but suddenly he stopped. It was silent for a moment, before she heard him laugh.

“Okay, so what else can I tell you… Oh, have I ever told you about my childhood together with South?”

 

She couldn’t help but laugh.

Starting to walk down the road towards the plain, she muttered, “You’re such a dork.”

 

By the time North was in the introduction of their family structures, Ala had broken out into a full-fledged run. She was running down the road and over the plain as fast as she could.

 

After her talk with Theta, she wanted nothing more than to wake up again as soon as possible.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to reality

Running over the plain, Ala could feel the wind in her hair and on her face. She could hear her steps falling on the grass and the breath in her lungs. She could feel the pounding heart in her chest.

 

It felt surreal. Since she was in her own mind, she wasn’t feeling her body as she did while awake and doing those exercises, but it was a strange sensation to feel those things from within her own mindscape instead.

 

A cracking sound drew her attention back to her running over the plain.

 

Stopping dead in her tracks, she managed to barely stop in front of the edge of a huge crack that had suddenly appeared in the ground.

 

What the hell was this crack doing there?! Okay, she had been rather afraid for a moment of falling down there into the dark abyss.

 

Her pulse was racing and she felt anxiety wash over her in waves. She felt strange.

 

Closing her eyes, she let her breathing calm down.

 

During her childhood back on Earth, she had done Karate. Her sensei had also taught her how to meditate since she had been rather restless and lively as a kid. Meditation helped her see things from a different angle and to stay calm in a situation where her temperament would have gone through the roof.

 

Meditation also taught her one other important thing: to embrace a feeling and to let it go. Such as fear.

 

Her fear of being in the dark was a different matter entirely. She had never been able to get over that for some reason.

 

But this matter here? This wasn’t _that_ bad.

 

She closed her eyes and embraced the feeling of fear she felt in response to that gap. Breathing in deeply, she let the feeling go and opened her eyes again.

 

Going back some steps, she breathed in deeply and started running towards the gap. She couldn’t say why or how exactly, but she felt as though the gap had become smaller since the last time that she had looked at it.

 

Jumping off at the last second possible, she barely managed to grab the edge of the other side of the gap. She grabbed some boulders there and somehow managed to climb up the cliff.

 

Arriving at the other side again, she rested on her back and breathed heavily, “Fuck… I never thought waking up would be _this_ exhausting!” she muttered.

 

When she felt like she had breathed in and out enough, she got back on her feet and started jogging again.

 

Don’t stop, otherwise you won’t be able to get back to running again.

 

It felt like an eternity where she was running over the plain, avoiding or jumping over other cracks in the ground. It felt like a fucking miracle that she hadn’t fallen into another gap somehow.

 

At some point, she couldn’t say exactly when it happened, Alaska reached a cliff at the end of the plain.

 

Looking back from where she came from, she could see nothing but a deserted plain. The city was long gone behind the horizon.

 

If all of this represented her soul, what did the plain mean about her soul? That her soul was deserted? That her soul was somewhat dry? Was empty and lonely?

 

If that was true, Ala thought to herself, then she would have to change something about that. She would have to get over it and try to fill that plain with greenery and life.

 

Standing there for some moments, she looked up while catching her breath.

 

The cliff looked steep and rocky. It looked as though it would be difficult to climb it, but she had to go up there. She just knew it.

 

She heard Drew’s voice from there and she somehow just _knew_ that she had to get up there.

 

Huffing out air, she faced the wall and started to climb up carefully. She always had a strong and safe grip with at least three of her limbs, while the fourth one was searching for a good place for a safe and steady grip upon the wall. Then another limb would be searching for a steady place to get a hold on.

 

With that technique, she slowly but surely climbed up the cliff. She felt her fingers getting somewhat slippery with the exhaustion and sweat beading down her back, but she refused to stop.

 

She would take a break every once in a while to dry off her hands, but she wouldn’t hang on the cliff forever simply because she was too exhausted to climb up further and too exhausted to climb back down.

 

She _would_ climb up that wall and arrive at the top.

 

***

 

She couldn’t feel her fingers anymore when she arrived at the top. They were frozen cold and stiff. Her fingers had become bent into claws to climb effectively, but weren’t ideal for grasping onto things.

 

Lying on her back in the snow, she breathed heavily and shoved her hands into her armpits to warm them up and to make them movable again.

 

After several minutes passed, she felt warmth flowing back into her fingers. Although it hurt like a bitch to do so, she moved them with great effort. She gritted her teeth because her fingers fucking _hurt_ when she moved them.

 

After a while, it didn’t hurt so much to move them anymore and that made it possible for her to stand up and continue walking. She felt cold anyways from sitting around in the snow and urgently needed to move in order to get the warmth back into her limbs.

 

It wouldn’t help her much if she could move her fingers again but ended up with a popsicle for a butt.

 

Standing up, she first decided to jump up and down a bit to feel warm again.

 

Starting to walk away from the cliff, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she already knew this situation. However, she couldn’t put a finger on what was making her feel so uneasy.

 

Walking through ankle deep snow, she wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. She felt cold, and that was no wonder given the fact that she was only wearing some trousers, boots, and a hubby beater.

 

The snow felt like little needles on her skin where it hit and it started to hurt after walking through the snowstorm for a while.

 

Given the time that traversing the other areas had taken her, she would have to make sure that she was keeping herself warm during the walk. She would have to do some more exercises to keep her temperature up, otherwise she would be trapped in her mind forever. Which really wasn’t something she wanted. She—

 

Ripped out of her thoughts, she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed a figure appearing in front of her.

 

In front of her stood a white armored figure, blood splattered on his armor. He was holding something in his right hand that made her blood run cold if it hadn’t already started running cold from the fucking freezing temperature she was in.

 

The man standing there held an arm, a left arm to be accurate. Which was frozen stiff.

 

Subconsciously, she reached up to her left arm and noticed that nothing was there.

 

The color left her face as she looked down and felt her fears confirmed.

 

There was no arm. No blood either since it looked like it had already healed up, but the arm was definitely missing.

 

Cold fear surged through her.

 

This was the Meta. The fucking Meta. And he was holding her arm in his hand.

 

That realization was making her feel anxious, horribly alone, and… weak. Yeah, that was the right word. She felt weak because she knew that she had lost against him. That he had been able to injure her so badly that she had lost an arm.

 

She still hadn’t gotten over the fact that she had lost an arm yet. It was strange, but even after all those years she was still struggling with the fact that she was partially machine now and had a cybernetic arm. She wanted her old arm back and to feel complete again.

 

It was strange… She immediately felt an unreasonable need to get that arm back to feel whole again.

However, she couldn’t bring her body to move.

 

She was frozen in place from fear and felt a horrible lot like she did when she was back in school, when she didn’t want to go in there the day after she broke a window and hadn’t told anyone. It felt silly, but she felt the same way now as she did back then. Frozen stiff in front of eminent danger.

 

…That was until the mountain of a man suddenly started to move. He seemed to have felt that she was unable to move and that he was in the better position to finish what he had started so long ago.

 

The first hit with his left fist hit directly in her stomach, sending her stumbling back some feet and falling onto her butt. The hit went directly to her solar plexus and she felt all the air leave her lungs.

 

Coughing, she tried to force the air back into her lungs, though that only worked after some more seconds of sitting in the snow and eyeing the Meta while waiting for another attack.

 

However, the hit must have done some shit to the Meta too given the fact that he was stumbling a bit. It looked like he was unbalanced. Was that maybe because of her arm?

 

In any case, her fighting instincts kicked in and she stumbled onto her feet. She took up her fighting stance. She was afraid, and that made it difficult for her to stay level-headed.

 

Which ultimately led to her charging in headfirst, trying to land a hit with her fist. It wasn’t all that surprising that the hit missed and the Meta had a great opening to hit her back.

 

He did so with a fist to her face.

 

The next attack was aimed at the Meta’s lower body with a kick, which he easily dodged to land another hit to her stomach.

 

It went on like that for quite some time, with the Meta dodging or evading all her attacks as if already knowing how she would be attacking.

 

With a strangled noise of pain and frustration, she stumbled back as another hit landed on her already bruised abdomen. She glared at the enemy standing there before her, and slowly the fear she was feeling turned into anger—though that wasn’t really for the better.

 

With a cry, she charged in again and missed, the Meta responding by attacking her in kind.

 

…With her fucking arm.

 

The hit went square across her back, sending her flying forward and headfirst into the snow. She laid there, the Meta beating her with her own arm.

 

Fear gripped her heart tightly once more, causing her to curl up into the fetal position as she tried to cover her more vulnerable areas.

 

It reminded her of the time that she had gotten beaten up in school when she had been around eight-years-old. She knew fairly early on that she would be joining the army when she was old enough to do so.

 

_Some cockbites of boys thought it would be funny to pick on her. They threw her to the ground and swung at her for what felt like an eternity until they let her go. She had been lying there on the ground for another ten minutes, coming home beaten up and horribly bruised from the experience._

_After having showered, her mom patched her up and her dad gave her an earful in regards to her stupid plans concerning the army and the things that could be triggered from joining it. She demanded to be signed up in a Dojo. She wanted to learn Karate to defend herself. Even if it wasn’t for the army just then._

_After another two hours of discussion, her parents finally agreed on the condition that she would have to join dancing classes if she wanted to do Karate. Her parents still believed that she would forget about her plans and be a good daughter. That she would marry and have kids. Being good at dancing helped that in their books._

_Young Ala had agreed and a month after that she was in the Dojo, beaming proudly with the white belt slung around her waist._

 

Back in reality, Ala winced under another blow to her injury. Another hit on her hips, legs, and arms… the hits were raining down on her like a sudden downpour.

 

She was thinking frantically of a way to get out of there. She wanted to get away and wake up, and not be stuck there, fighting the Meta who miraculously seemed to know what she was doing the moment she thought of it.

 

…

 

Wait a second… _That was it._

 

Ala forgot about feeling the pain of the hits while lying on the ground and pondering over her realization.

 

The Meta knew what she was thinking the moment she thought of it because they were in her fucking mind. The Meta that was here with her was not the real one. It was a picture of the real one that her mind had produced. It was only logical that he knew how she would react given the fact that they were technically sharing a mind.

 

All her fighting him did was end with her lying on the ground and getting beaten up. So, what if…?

 

With a groan, she got up and ignored the hits still raining down on her shoulders, back, and head until she stood straight.

 

This seemed to catch the Meta off-guard as he took some steps back and glared at her with a threatening growl.

 

It was something that she had realized just in that moment. There was no human that wasn’t afraid of something. Nobody was free from fear.

 

You had to accept the fear and live with it instead of fighting it. Fighting it only meant that it was getting worse.

 

Staring directly at the Meta, she took a step towards the man who took one back.

 

This went on until he couldn’t do so anymore, a rock blocking his further way back. Although the growling became more aggressive and fearful the moment he was feeling cornered, the black-haired woman didn’t stop.

 

She walked past him, and just in that moment, she felt like a huge weight had fallen off her shoulders.

 

She realized that she was able to accept what had happened with the Meta and her arm. She had accepted it long ago, but the fear made it impossible for her to see the truth. The truth that she had long ago accepted being partially machine now.

 

Besides, her having cybernetic enhancements had saved the lives of her friends. She had been able to catch the knife with her hand before it hit either North, Tucker, or Wash. She had been able to save many more kids with her cybernetics because she was able to punch them unconscious without having to kill them during Hargrove’s assault.

 

She had a cybernetic left arm, and that was what made her herself. She was complete with her new arm. The old one was in her past. She had this one here now and she would use it to her best advantage.

 

As she walked away, the Meta behind her vanished along with her arm. In that same moment, a weight slightly pulled at her left.

 

Her arm. The specific weight of the metal, which was so different from a flesh one, made her smile.

 

She made a fist with her metallic hand before breaking into a run again and starting to chase North’s voice once more as he was still leading her.

 

He was talking about something from his past. Alaska only listened half-heartedly to what he was telling her, concentrating on her path ahead which was slowly turning into a plain again.

 

***

 

The next stop she had to contend with was because of another person standing there.

 

Thanks to the plain, she could see the person rather early on. However, the person looked somehow blurred and fuzzy. It was almost as though she shouldn’t be able to see the person as early as she was viewing them, as if she should be making out who the person was only moments before she was running into them.

 

When she was close enough, she could see who was waiting there. Slowing down until she stopped completely, she felt as though she was currently looking into a mirror.

 

On the opposite side of her, clad completely in black, stood Ala.

 

It may sound weird, but that was it. Alaska McCormick was facing herself right now. Given that she was in her mind, it was nothing out of the ordinary to see herself standing there. But it still felt strange given that she was facing herself. She didn’t have a twin sister, so seeing someone who looked exactly the same as she did without looking into a mirror was a rather odd sensation.

 

The strange copy of herself was standing there, arms crossed over her chest and looking at her with what looked like a smug smile on her lips.

 

“Look who’s here. I’m impressed that you managed to get this far.” She teased, switching her weight from her right to her left foot.

 

Ala frowned at that. It felt strange to talk to herself, but since she still was trapped in her mind, she wasn’t really surprised. She could be walking on the ceiling and that would be perfectly normal.

 

Standing there, she put her hands on her hips, “You’re surprised?”

 

“To be honest, yes. For not being sure about waking up, you’ve come far.” Her darker copy explained.

 

“Why is that?” Ala asked, also crossing her arms and mirroring the position of her darker counterpart.

 

Her copy snorted at that, a grin spreading over her face, “Seriously? You don’t really know if you want to wake up, admit it.”

 

Ala frowned again, though she refrained from saying anything.

 

“You want to wake up, but at the same time you would rather stay in here. Here in your safe cocoon where you would not have to get out and have to face challenges that you could possibly fail.” Her darker self started walking up and down in front of her.

 

“I want to wake up, and I have never run from a challenge so far.” She replied. When did she actually run? She always faced her challenges, even if she might fail.

 

“Is that so?” the darker Ala asked at length, looking at her lighter self.

 

The dark-haired woman could feel insecurity well up inside her.

 

“Yes, I’ve never run.” Albeit feeling insecure, she decided to act otherwise.

 

“Honey, you know that we’re in your mind. I know what is going on inside your head.” The darker Alaska replied sardonically, “And yes, you ran more than you might think. What about New Bangkok? When Sugar was hitting on North? After ten years, he shows up again and you run, instead of walking up to him and punching him right in the face like Carolina did with York. And you ran when you locked yourself up here in your mind even though you could have woken up long ago.”

 

Alaska listened silently and had to admit that her darker self was right. She ran away as often as she faced the challenges that came her way. So, she really often ran.

Did that mean that she wasn’t one hundred percent sure that she wanted to wake up at all?

 

“You don’t really want to wake up, do you?” the sardonic voice of the darker Alaska made herself feel somewhat strange. A blend between insecurity and pissed off.

 

Her darker self laughed lowly, “You’re unsure about the question if you want to wake up or not. So how are you going to face your friends when you’re unsure about that? Once you’ve woken up, you can’t go back. Think about it. You’re not able to turn back around. Besides… Are you sure that everyone wants you back awake and to have you around still? Are you sure they wouldn’t rather want you staying like that?”

 

She felt rather uneasy with every passing moment. She felt insecure and the questions she had in her mind previously came back tenfold.

 

Would the guys really be happy about her waking up again? Or would they rather prefer her staying as she was?

 

That was when she heard a low chuckle reverberate through her mind and she suddenly remembered what Theta had told her: that the guys wanted her back and were waiting for her to wake up again. That they were coming loose at the seams and that they were trying to hold on to welcome her back whenever she did wake up.

 

Something like relief flooded through her mind when she heard North’s voice getting a bit louder again.

 

“It is all right that I don’t feel one hundred percent secure about waking up,” she started at length, “Nobody can be one hundred percent sure about something when they don’t know what the outcome will be. But the most important thing is to try, even if it means to possibly fail.” She explained, uncrossing her arms and looking at her darker self directly.

 

“I am not sure how everyone will really react, but we’re friends and they’ll be happy whenever I do wake up. They would never in the world be disappointed that I woke up.” She replied, a smile appearing on her face as she started walking towards her other self.

 

Like she did with the Meta previously, she walked past her other half and continued her trail away from her.

 

She could hear her other half shout about how she needed to think it over again, but she only smiled and muttered, “Not in ten years.”

 

When the figure dissipated, Alaska now realized that those were her fears she had to face in order to overcome them.

 

Speaking of fears, the only fear that was left was… the fear of the dark.

 

While walking over to the end of the plain, she could see that there was another crack in the ground, but this one was larger and the other side wasn’t visible.

 

It looked like the world was ending right here at this crack.

 

The strangest thing about everything was that North’s voice was coming out of the crack, although it was pitch black down there. Completely dark.

 

If his voice was leading her as well as it did previously, she would have to bite the bullet and jump.

 

Immediately, fear rose in her chest and made it feel tight. She noticed how her field of view narrowed down and how she felt like it was hard to breathe.

 

Closing her eyes, she willed the fear to go away and her chest to untighten. When she opened her eyes, she could see that her field of view was almost back to normal again.

 

Okay, this was probably the last test that she had to pass. Her fear of the dark.

 

She had realized already that she wouldn’t be healed of her fear whenever she faced it. She still was slightly afraid of the Meta and about waking up, but those fears weren’t controlling her anymore.

 

So, if she felt like she was able to face her fear of the dark… it wouldn’t control her as much anymore as it had previously. She would be able to not feel so crushingly afraid when being in a dark room on her own.

 

Closing her eyes, she again breathed in deeply. Like with the first crack on the first plain, she took some steps backwards.

 

Breaking into a fast sprint, she reached the end of the cliff after four steps, jumping off forcefully to not hit her head on the side of the cliffs.

 

Curling up slightly, she pulled her arms to her body and bent her knees slightly.

 

Falling down while being engulfed by the darkness, she still could hear North’s voice.

 

He was talking about their relationship. About the ring he had given her. Given his explanations, he seemed to be holding the ring in his hands and staring at it since he was saying something about a scratch on the inside.

 

The ring had gotten it some years after she had joined the Reds and Blues. She was squaring off with Wash and he had gotten ahold of her dog tags. The strain of that had caused the scratch.

 

This was something he only could know upon seeing the ring now. He wouldn’t have known about it from somewhere else since she hadn’t told anyone about the ring or the scratch.

 

The darkness became stronger and she felt like she was drifting out of this world.

 

Back in reality, North almost jumped through the roof when he felt Ala’s index finger twitch.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ala wakes up - finally

When Ala finally came to again after falling through the darkness for what seemed like hours, the first thing she felt was horrible pain. She felt like literally everything in her body fucking hurt.

 

The next sensation that her senses informed her about was something streaming into her nose. The logical part of her brain which was slowly beginning to boot up informed her that this was probably oxygen coming from a breathing tube that had been placed in her nose. The illogical part of her brain, however, quickly wanted to go into panic mode until the logical part efficiently shut it up.

 

She had a vague feeling that this was how York and Delta interacted with each other given York’s sometimes rather illogical way of thinking and Delta’s straight-out logical way.

 

When she came to a bit more, she realized that she had no feeling in her left arm whatsoever. She felt that there was something pulling at her shoulder slightly, but it was more like a dead weight hanging at her shoulder that was not moving an inch.

 

First, she felt a strum of panic surge through her body and felt like the time she had woken up after the Meta incident.  However, thanks to her rather delirious state, she couldn’t start flailing and freaking out. After a while, she remembered what had happened and what had caused her to drop into a coma in the first place.

 

Right… Junior’s distress signal and them walking right into a trap.

 

Well, it’s not like they didn’t know that the signal could have been a trap part beforehand anyway. They still went to respond to it because of Junior.

 

She only hoped that he was safe and sound. She would feel better knowing that her friends and Junior were safe and that only she had gotten injured, which had been her goal when she had agreed to fight. Keep the others safe. If she got out of the situation in one piece, it would be a point to be discussed on another day.

 

Felix showing up at this rescue party gone south had been a rather big surprise. Him having snapped completely was not so surprising in hindsight, although Ala had no way to suspect that he would not feel any pain whatsoever anymore. Him not even fucking feeling that his hand was cut off and even using that to his advantage during the fight was what had caught her off-guard.

 

Which, in the end, led to her being injured. Whelp… what a way to fuck it up majorly, huh?

 

Consequently, she suddenly realized, that meant that she wouldn’t be able to move for another couple of days given her shot arm and the feeling of overall weakness that she was currently experiencing. She hated that already because she wasn’t one for lying around for long. She was always one who preferred to be on the move instead of lying around for hours and days on end.

 

Slowly, she managed to force her heavy eyelids to open once more. Even those felt horribly heavy and as though they were filled with lead.

 

Thankfully, aside from the bad luck she had, she didn’t get blinded by the light. The room was luckily dark, as was outside of it.

 

It must be night then, huh?

 

Closing her eyes again, she willed her body to wake up a bit more, at least enough so that she could move her fingers and keep her eyes open for more than thirty seconds.

 

She felt oddly beaten and tired, but she refused to fall asleep again. She had to stay awake and make sure she knew where she was. In addition, she needed to know if everyone was safe and sound.

 

Opening her eyes again, she could take her environment in a bit better since her eyes had gotten used to the dim light surrounding her.

 

It was dark and quiet. Eerily quiet. It must really be night given the quietness outside. During the day, Armonia was humming like a beehive from all of the bustling going on.  It was only during the dead of the night that it was as quiet as it was now.

 

Moving her hand a slight little bit, she felt something heavy on it. Turning hear head as far as she could, she could make out a silhouette in an armchair sitting beside her bed. Said person was obviously sleeping, their head leaning against one of the bulges on each side of the armchair with one hand in their lap and the other lying on her own hand.

 

It was a rather large hand and looking at the person closer, she could recognize the person.

 

Drew…

 

North was somewhat lying and sitting all the same in said armchair, obviously having been watching over her since the day she had gotten here if the circles under his eyes and the overall bad state his body was in was any indication.

 

She only vaguely remembered what had happened after she had been stabbed. She had fallen to the ground after ordering Theta to activate the dome shield, Tucker and a medic by her side a moment later.

 

When they were ready to leave, North had picked her up. At least she thought she remembered seeing a lot of violet armor, which could only be North.

 

Or Doc possibly, but she doubted he would have the strength to carry someone around wearing a power suit even when wearing one himself. He also couldn’t see blood. He would faint when seeing someone who only had a small cut on their finger. A rather bad choice then that he became a medic, she thought in her sluggishly working brain.

 

Well, after having been picked up, the rest was a blur of colors, horrible pain, and her drifting in and out of consciousness. Not a really nice memory.

 

She hadn’t been conscious anymore when they had arrived at Armonia and she had been brought into the surgery room. And she hadn’t been awake since then.

 

She didn’t even want to know how long she had been out cold. It felt like she had been out for at least two weeks, maybe even longer.

 

A silent sigh left her lips when she briefly closed her eyes again.  Gathering some of her remaining strength, she lifted her thumb and rested it on the back of North’s hand.

 

It felt like she was lifting something that weighted at least a ton, if not more, and moving it felt like an incredibly huge effort that she had to make.  It was almost like a task that she nearly couldn’t handle. Besides the feeling of lifting a ton with her thumb, her movement was so incredibly slow that it felt like watching something happen in slow motion.

 

Letting her thumb rest there, she took some moments to relax and observed the Freelancer.

 

Due to his light complexion, she could see the big circles under his eyes rather prominently and she realized again how he overall looked like he hadn’t slept a lot during the last few weeks.

 

He was such an idiot sometimes: pushing himself so much until he was about to break just to be there in case someone reappears, wakes up again, or whatever. Just to assure that everything was okay.

 

North had already done that when it came to his sister and to his friends years before they first met, but she never really had been someone to do that.

 

She was rather pragmatic in this department. Why push yourself to your limit when someone could wake up in ten minutes, or ten days, or ten weeks? She saw more reason in resting up and being there when the person started waking up or was already awake for support. Being on the verge of breaking down physically and psychically didn’t help anyone. She really didn’t see the benefit in pushing one’s self to the breaking point when someone was in a coma, only for them to wake up and find said person totally exhausted and on the brink of breaking down.

 

Well, they already had some fights about that particular subject in past years. Ala often nagged North for pushing himself so much, when he should be taking it easy since he couldn’t either predict when the person would wake up nor could he help in this case.

 

But… If it hadn’t been for North, she wouldn’t have found her way back so easily. So maybe she would have to amend her opinion a bit. She wouldn’t support the total-exhaustion-of-yourself, but maybe some support was helpful even if the person in a coma or who was unconscious couldn’t really appreciate it in that particular moment.

 

Sighing, she slowly started to let her thumb ghost over his hand, looking at the Freelancer who was still fast asleep. Ala could already predict that North would have one hell of a sore neck later on upon waking up with the way he was sleeping.

 

Soon enough, she saw him stir and lift his head with a confused sound which indicated to her that he was more asleep than awake in this very moment.

 

Keeping up with the stroking of his hand, Ala observed how North slowly arrived into reality.

 

He sluggishly sat up and rubbed his eyes with his free hand, Ala smiling when she saw him looking like a lot like the young boy he certainly had been back on Earth before he saw everything bad in the world and his expression became a guarded one, although open still. Back in New Bangkok, she sometimes had witnessed that, although most of the time North was up earlier than her.

 

It took him another two or three moments to wake up and realize what had woken him in the middle of the night.

 

He stared at the hand he was holding and the thumb stroking over his hand, struggling to realize what just happened and why this foreign thumb, which certainly wasn’t his, was ghosting over his hand.

 

After another couple heartbeats, he looked up… meeting Ala’s half-lidded eyes as she looked back at him with a small, weak smile.

 

She knew how horrible she must look, but she didn’t care now, just being happy to be awake again and seeing North by her side once more despite the still lingering memory of him having been gone for ten fucking years and suddenly popping up again like a jack-in-the-freaking-box.

 

“You still take an awfully long time to properly boot up?” she asked with a hoarse voice, almost too low to understand, but she was positive that North did. The rather derailed grin accompanying her statement should be comforting, but Ala doubted that North would get that hint given how long he always needed to properly wake up after having been deeply asleep.

 

“I don’t take long…” the Freelancer muttered, causing the woman to snort.

 

Well, he certainly was taking a long time. The others sure as hell would already be all over her or bombarding her with questions. To be honest, she preferred this one here over that alternative since she also had time to take in her surroundings and wake up as much as she could given her bad state.

 

“Nope, surely not. In a contest, I am sure you’d be the first of the last ones up.” She croaked out, and an almost offended expression briefly flickered over his face.

 

Ala snickered at that.

 

Never change, Drew, never change.

 

It took another couple of moments before he almost jumped out of the armchair and to the side of her bed, a flicker beside him indicating that Theta was coming online but was refraining from appearing.

 

Well, it looked like he _finally_ was _completely_ awake now since he had realized the importance of her looking at him and talking.

 

Gently grasping her hand, as if it was made of glass, the Freelancer looked at her. Albeit always insisting on not being treated differently than any other soldier, she was happy that North was so considerate just in this moment. She doubted that she would get away with only some bruises now if he treated her like he did when they were training and she was in shape. And besides, when she was feeling like her usual self, she never felt like crap like how she did now.

 

North lifted her flesh hand up, and Ala could see how he leaned his forehead against the back of her hand. He seemed to feel her exhaustion too given the way he leaned his forehead heavily against her limb, eyes closed and exhaling deeply through his mouth.

 

“You’re tired.” Ala stated simply, looking at the man sitting there.

 

“Yeah…” for once, he didn’t deny it, only admitting it without adding something else about having to do something and other shit. Before Ala could say anything else, the man continued. “I am happy though.  You finally woke up.”

 

“I am too.” She replied, feeling her cheeks heat up only a bit. God, this moment here was absolutely awkward.

 

North seemed to sense this awkwardness too, getting up with a low groan.

 

“I am going to get the nurse to check you over.” He informed her, leaving the room and going to hunt down the nurse and probably Doctor Grey too.

 

Observing him leaving, she could see that he had his shoulders squared. It didn’t take much guessing as to why this was. Given his earlier sleeping position, he must have a horribly stiff neck.

 

The blinding light suddenly switching on was a dead-sure indicator that someone was entering the room to check on her.

 

“A warning would have been nice.” The woman grumbled.  She closed her eyes and turned her head away, desperately wishing for something to shade her eyes.

 

“Oh, Mac, I see you’re finally awake! I am so happy you managed to find your way back to the land of the living!” Doctor Grey’s voice rang out with a cheer, making Ala wish she could slip right back into unconsciousness. Her ears rung from the loud and cheery voice, and she cringed at that.

 

“Maybe we should lower our voices and dim the light a notch? She’s just woken up from a coma.” Drew conversationally asked from the background, staying back but keeping a vigilant eye over her and the others just in case he felt that he needed to step in should anyone of them do something so much as look funny at her.

 

It was silent for a moment, Doctor Grey indeed lowering her voice but not dimming the light. _Well, you can’t have both, huh?_ Ala thought to herself, mostly only nodding or shaking her head to single questions. She felt too beaten and although she had just woken up, she wanted nothing more than return to that comfortable black abyss of sleep to recover.

 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Doctor Grey asked, examining the place where the metal plating connected with her flesh.

 

“Like I’ve been eaten, chewed up thoroughly, and spit out again…” Ala grumbled, wincing when the doctor moved her arm as that caused a horrible pain to shoot through her shoulder, “Holy shit...” She breathed out, screwing her eyes shut.

 

“Oh no, it’s just me! I guess you’ll have to wait for that encounter a little bit longer, honey.” Ala rolled her eyes at that remark but couldn’t hide the smile that was creeping over her lips, “Thanks, wasn’t planning on it either.” She replied in a sarcastic manner, glaring at Doctor Grey who was now examining the wound under her arm and the rest of her vitals.

 

When she looked pleased, she turned around and told the nurse which medication she needed and the correct dosages for them to be given to Ala over the next several hours.

 

Turning back around, she again looked at Ala, who oddly enough, felt more awake right now than minutes before. Must be the pain.

 

“Can I do something else for you, sweetie?” she asked the black-haired woman.

 

Said woman took some moments to figure out what to ask. Asking Doctor Grey to stop calling her names hadn’t worked the last ten times she had asked, so that was off the list. The doctor was quite obstinate on this subject.

 

“Can Tucker come over?” she asked in a sheepish voice.

 

She was already waiting for a lecture about healthy sleep from Doctor Grey, but this time, the woman quickly looked at her before nodding.

 

“Well, given that you have been unconscious for almost a month and the fact that Captain Tucker would stomp in anyway the moment that he hears you’re awake, I guess I can accept that request.” She nodded to herself, turning to another nurse and ordering her to get Captain Tucker and Agent Washington along with him too, since they were probably sleeping in the very same bed in either Wash’s or Tucker’s room.

 

Ala couldn’t help but smile at that. Those idiots were inseparable after it took them an eternity to get their shit straight.

 

Lying back down after Doctor Grey finally left, not before reminding Ala again to not move around too much – _How could she?!_ – she closed her eyes, waiting for Tucker to appear. She could hear some rustling beside her as Drew sat back in the armchair. She didn’t even need to open her eyes to know that he was watching her attentively for any sign of discomfort.

 

“I’m not going to drop dead the second you’re looking away, Drew.” She croaked out with a crooked smile.

She knew this particular man far too well and could already guess his reaction. The black-haired woman knew that he was blinking at her like a deer in the headlights, struggling to understand what she wanted to say with that comment before he turned red because he was caught red-handed.

 

“Get some fucking shut-eye. In a bed, not in that old-as-fuck armchair. I’m pretty sure Grey’s great-grandmother probably sat in that thing.”

 

A coughing fit racked her body just then, North jumping to his feet as if he had gotten stung by something.

 

“Relax…” Breathing heavily, Ala laid back down and cracked an eye open, looking at a panicked-looking Drew standing beside her bed.

 

This, however, made her worry. Something must have happened during the time she couldn’t remember much of aside from blurs of color, pain, and the following unconsciousness which made Drew be so on edge. She would have to investigate that later on though. Right now, she wanted to see her baby brother and then fall asleep again and hopefully feel better when she woke up next.

 

“Relax…” Ala repeated, trying to sit up with only one arm supporting her.

 

It was of… decent success. She only managed it when Drew took another step to her and helped Ala sit up. He seemed to get that she wanted to sit up and get some water. Although Ala could tell he was extremely nervous, she didn’t comment on it.

 

His actions were… strange. Usually, he was gentle but firm. Now he was somewhat jittery and nervous, not really daring to touch her either – what the hell happened back then?

 

This time, the awkwardness didn’t stem from them meeting again after ten years. This awkwardness came from a less long ago event what made Andrew be so on edge around her.

 

Said man let her sit for a moment after she shook her head weakly when she felt like she had drunk enough.

 

They both had enough time for Drew to lift the backrest of the bed so Ala could lean against it while sitting before the door flew open.  A black and teal blur with tons of dreads shot through it and tackled her right down on the bed.

 

A low chuckle emitted from the black-haired woman’s chest, her flesh hand coming to a rest on the young man’s back who currently had pinned her onto the bed in a tight hug.

 

“If I had known you’re that desperate, I would have quickened my waking up.” She laughed weakly when she heard the man mutter a “Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” into her neck.

 

It was only when Tucker drew back that Ala noticed two things.

 

The first thing was Wash standing in the door, looking rather awkward. She smiled at him and made a motion with her hand to tell him to come into the room and not stand outside like a bystander.

 

The next thing was, when looking at Tucker, that she could see tears in those blue eyes of his. Tucker hardly ever cried, mostly because he fought what could make him cry before it could get him that far.

 

However, here he was, tears in his eyes and for the first time in ages, she could see the cracks in his posture. He usually wouldn’t give away so openly when he was about to cry. Nevertheless, given that they were adopted siblings, she supposed that it was okay. Tucker had dark circles under his eyes, and she didn’t need to look at Wash to know that his were as prominent as Tucker’s too. The slight quivering of his lips and an ever so slight tremor in his muscles completed the picture of a miserable Tucker.

 

“Come on, you big baby, you’re squishing me.” She managed to get out between her teeth, indeed feeling as if she was being crushed.  There was a slight little bit of pain from somewhere underneath the left part of her ribcage. Ala realized in that moment that she must have lost quite a bit of her muscles and her stamina during her coma that she felt squished by a normal human’s body so easily.

 

Without so much as a word, Tucker stood up again.  He wiped the tears off his eyes with the back of his left hand and looked at her.

 

Ruffling her hair, she could tell that he was more than just a tad relieved to see her awake.

 

“You had all of us worrying quite a bit.” Tucker muttered, his voice coarse from the unshed tears and the missed sleep.

 

“Hey, I’m not the melodramatic one.” She replied.

 

She laughed again when Tucker lightly punched her sound shoulder with a muttered “Asshole.”

 

“Aw, love you too, baby brother.” She replied, yawning only seconds later.

 

This was Wash’s cue to jump in. He took two steps forward and stopped beside Tucker, lying a reassuring arm around his waist.

 

“I’m glad you finally woke up.” He seemed to hesitate for a moment, throwing North a long glance before continuing, “Thanks for getting us. I really appreciate that.”

 

After a well-meant pinch in Tucker’s side and the subsequent but not so discreet yelp from the receiver, the dark-skinned man muttered, “Yeah, thanks, sis.” He shot her a grateful smile.

 

“It’s okay,” Ala muttered, another yawn forcing its way out.

 

“I wanted to see you too.” She told them, her eyelids already starting to droop.

 

“Well then, rest up.  You’re going to need the energy.” She heard Wash mumble and she felt that someone, most likely Tucker, pressed a kiss onto her forehead.

 

When she felt someone grasping her hand again, she slipped it out of said person’s hand, looking at him through her half-lidded eyes.

 

“Go get some rest too. In an actual bed. I’m fine. Not gonna check out while you’re sleeping.” She grinned at that, noticing North’s rather confused and offended face.

 

He obviously didn’t know what to think of that comment since she never really said something like that when they were together ten years ago. That definitely came from being around Tucker and the others.

 

North still didn’t budge and Ala groaned.

 

“Seriously, Drew, go and get some shut eye.  You can’t sleep comfortably in that armchair.” She croaked out.

 

“But…” the Freelancer tried to protest weakly, but was cut off by Ala’s huff, “Seriously. Go. Get. Some. Fucking. Sleep!  You’re like a zombie.” She put emphasis on every word to make it clear that she thought that he was ready to hit the hay.

 

Although Drew looked ready to protest and as if he wanted to say something more, he got up after some more moments.

 

“Okay, I am going to lay down on the cot next to you. Call me when something comes up.” His voice was low and caring, although Ala couldn’t help but hear a sharp edge in it.

 

Well, they had to discuss a fucking ton of stuff when she was coherent again – more than she now was, at any rate.

 

“Good. Good night.” She muttered, letting her eyes drift shut as she heard how North laid down.

 

“Good night. Theta wishes that too.” The mumble from the other side of the room indicated to the special ops that North was more asleep than awake when he said that.

 

Speaking of the Fragment… She hadn’t seen the little guy around. Had he been too scared or had North told him to stand down?

 

She couldn’t say for certain either way, and her sleep-addled brain wasn’t much of a help in solving that particular riddle since she fell asleep only a moment after asking herself that question about Theta.


	33. Chapter 33

It was extremely awkward, to put it nicely.

They hadn’t talked much since the day Ala had woken up from her coma. Mostly because she was either too exhausted from moving around too much or she was as high as a bedrock due to all of the pain killers they had her on.

Around the third day after having woken up, the black-haired woman had insisted on not using that horrible night pot anymore. She wanted to go to the bathroom on a normal loo and after enough nagging, she managed to do so. She also was adamant about being able to at least sit up regularly to eat or drink something or to have a chat with visitors. She did not want to be lying around like a dying swan, thank you very much!

Luckily, there were her lieutenants who were eager to help her in her moment of weakness. North couldn’t tell if that was because they were so thankful for her helping them during the war or for whatever other reason there was for it. He strongly suspected some of them being major suck-ups.

Speaking of the lieutenants… That was another reason why they hadn’t been able to talk for a full two weeks since Ala had woken up again. There was always a horrible bustle of activity in her room the moment that people were informed that she was awake again.

There were the guys from the Blood Gulch Crew showing up, one by one. Tucker was back the next morning, looking a bit more relaxed along with Washington. This time they were accompanied by Junior, the huge Sangheili.

Albeit being weak, the black-haired woman switched languages and greeted the young boy in his native language. His reaction was hilarious. So hilarious, that even North had to laugh.

Junior’s eyes went wide in surprise and his jaw, or mandibles in his case, dropped. He stared at her for a full minute before catching himself and answering the formal greeting with the correct answer and an obvious note of happiness that someone put so much effort in getting to know his culture.

Tucker was laughing right beside him during his son’s hilarious reaction, but it died down to a fond smile when his son and sister were communicating in Sangheili. He would sometimes correct Ala when she pronounced something wrong or had a wrong syntax.

They soon switched to English again, Ala asking how Junior was doing and if he was okay.

Junior would reply that he was okay and thankful for all of them, but especially her, for bailing him out. He had gotten caught by Felix soon after sending the distress signal and had been held captive until the Blood Gulch Crew showed up.

They talked some more until Wash and Tucker had to leave because they had to train their squads and do some fitness exercises for themselves.

Soon after they left, the dinner was served and the moment Ala was done eating, she was almost asleep again. Her energy reserves were depleted rather fast given her healing at the moment. That was no wonder considering that her body had to heal from at least two major injuries as well as the aftermath of a concussion, along with some minor scratches and bruises.

After the woman fell asleep, North was left alone with his thoughts again.

Spontaneously, he decided to get a shower and change his clothes since he felt somewhat grimy. If you once got into the habit of showering regularly, you soon started feeling grimy upon breaking that habit.  
Anyways, he was back after an hour had passed. Ala was still fast asleep, the soft rising and falling of her chest indicating that she was in some kind of dreamland.

Leaning over her with a small smile, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It had become something like a given that he would do that, if only to show her that she wasn’t alone.

*****

Another couple of days later, North had started to sleep in his room again as Ala had practically thrown him out of her infirmary room. Said soldier was returning from a training session and had decided to check in on her when he was clean again.

During Mac’s absence, North had decided to teach the kids what he had learnt and what Ala was lacking in some places when it came to sniping.

He had been forced to go away far too soon, leaving Ala with only part of the knowledge of what it took to be a thoroughly trained sniper. She knew a lot, don’t get him wrong, but there were still some things she didn’t know.

Okay, so she was able to fill those gaps with her intuition and with the old method of trial-and-error, but sometimes she did something in not exactly the way a real sniper with all his education would do.

For having missed so much, however, she did a great job with the kids. He must honestly admit that he was impressed.

Anyways, upon entering the room, he could see Ala sitting in a wheelchair with her back to him and her head tilted forwards a bit. Behind her was Donut with some scissors and a comb, obviously trying to get a halfway passable hairstyle out of the mess that was her hair when she had to cut it off during the fight. He was chattering excitedly whilst Ala made grunting noises every now and then.

Feeling like he was interrupting an intimate moment, North decided to close the door silently and busied himself with doing something else while waiting for Donut to leave.

While walking to the training area to check on Wash and the others training their lieutenants, he had another dispute with Theta about if he should talk with her or not.

North opted for waiting another couple of days until Ala was better, while Theta insisted on doing it now since they all knew how it could turn out if you waited too long from personal experience.

He had been having those disputes quite frequently with Theta, lately.

The Fragment had gotten his piece of mind from North for not telling him who Mac really was, whereas Theta hounded the Freelancer for not having enough balls to step up and make things clear and claim the girl as his again.

They seemed to be in some kind of stalemate at the moment.

*****

On another day, North was sitting with Ala and debating with himself about whether or not he should talk to her.

This decision, however, was taken out of his hands by Tucker opening the door. A group of six kids ran into the room with loud squeals and shouts, and soon all of them were sitting on the bed with the black-haired woman and hugging her.  
It was a nice view. Drew had always been of the opinion that Ala would have been a great mom. They just never had the chance to become parents, although he would have loved to have kids of his own.

Ala, Tucker and the kids were sitting together with North for the next few hours, talking about different things and playing various games.

Around noon, Tucker announced that the kids had to go back to the orphanage. This didn’t go down without some complaining from the children, but the teal-wearing soldier stayed adamant.

One of the kids wanted to tell Ala goodbye, obviously one who was closer to the woman than the other kids. With a momentum and a strength unknown to North, the kid jumped on Ala and hugged her fiercely. 

Tucker and North both were on their feet immediately when they heard Ala’s suppressed whine of pain.

Almost hurriedly, Tucker ushered the kids out and ordered them to stay put while he was looking over the black-haired woman.

North was bent over her, trying to decipher what had happened. He checked the bandages for any signs of blood, but there was none.

So why was she curling up and obviously having horrible pain?! He felt at a loss when Tucker walked up and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Hit the bad spot?” he asked, a note of panic in his voice but otherwise calm.

The woman only nodded with a face twisted in pain.

“I’ll get Grey then. We can’t wait any longer.”

North felt like he was back on the battlefield once more. He was only the bystander again, with everyone else obviously knowing more about his girlfriend than he did.

Yes, he still was referring to her as his girlfriend… shut up!

“What’s up?” Drew asked, just as Tucker was about to leave the room.

He cringed, “Not my place to tell, dude. Better ask Mac when she’s better.”

With that, he was out the door, leaving a flabbergasted North behind with Mac who had to force herself to draw shuddering breaths.

It didn’t take a minute for Grey to enter with a stony expression.

“Oh, sweetheart, you should have come to me long ago when it’s that bad.” She said, giving the woman a syringe that was probably an anesthesia of some kind and starting to unhook her from the IV and some other things still attached to her.

If the situation wasn’t so dire, North would have laughed at the devastating glare Ala threw the doctor albeit while still in pain.

“Why? What’s wrong with her?” North was growing frustrated and angry about everyone keeping things from him. She was his girlfriend, at least.

Giving the nurses some orders, they left with Ala towards the surgery room while the doctor stayed behind.

She looked at him with a serious expression, “It’s a private subject. I suggest you ask her when she’s awake.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that!” North protested.

There was a brief flicker of something North couldn’t quite name, but it resembled hurt as though Doctor Grey couldn’t tell him what was going on but she wanted to.

“I really can’t tell you, Agent North Dakota. It’s confidential. It’s something very personal and I really do suggest talking with Mac herself about it once she’s ready to tell you. This isn’t only about her body, it’s about her soul too.” She explained, trying to give North as much information as she could without breaking the rules of confidentiality.

Although still feeling slightly pissed, he appreciated her talk.

“Thanks, Doctor, I will do that then.” He was smart enough to know that she couldn’t tell him more and that Tucker didn’t want to tell him.

Given that this seemed to be a rather sensitive subject for Ala, he could even understand the aqua-clad soldier’s hesitation.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me now… I have to get your girlfriend sound again.” The doctor chirped and was out of the room before Drew even had any time to form an answer.

After everyone left, a nurse appeared and changed the sheets that Mac had been lying in. North only now realized that there was blood in the sheets, but that it was lower than her wounds had been.

And he had seen the bandages, they hadn’t been bloodied.

The nurse left after changing the sheets and left him alone.

Sitting down in the armchair beside her bed, being alone left him with his thoughts once again. Why was what had happened, whatever it was, so painful?

It didn’t look like something that was new, or unknown, or surprising. It seemed as though it was something that Tucker, Doctor Grey, and Ala herself were very much aware of and none of them seemed to want to talk about it.

Closing his eyes, he felt Theta move in the back of his mind.

‘Theta…’ He growled, but the Fragment only yelped and holed himself up in the farthest corner of his mind.

Great… Again, the AI seemed to know more than he did and it was frustrating, if not outright infuriating, him. He was the only one being left in the dark and nobody seemed to want to talk about it.

What the hell was up with Ala? Given her reaction, it must be bad! She wasn’t one to curl up like she did just because of a mere hit. There must be something worse behind it.

Sighing, he opened his eyes when he heard the door open. About one and a half hours had passed since they had brought Ala away.

Looking up, he could see Tucker standing in the doorway. He looked uncomfortable.

“Uh, look…” the dreadlocked man started, playing with one of the dreads. A habit he must have picked up from Ala.  
“I can’t tell you what is up. Pretty personal shit…” chewing on his bottom lip, North decided to only stare at him. Tucker was an easy one to get to talk by making him feel uncomfortable. Staring him down usually was the best way to get him to talk.

“It has something to do with you, okay? So I am pretty sure she will tell you at some point. It’s just… You showing up didn’t help matters here. It’s not only her body that took damage.” Averting his eyes, Tucker seemed to look to all kinds of places except North’s face.

“So I was told.” The Freelancer said calmly, showing his anger, but not lashing out although it was difficult. Tucker was one of those who was holding onto a secret he wouldn’t share, after all.

“It is, okay?” the Sim Trooper snapped, “It’s pretty fucked up shit and I promised her that I wouldn’t tell and on top of that, it really is some personal shit. It’s not my place to tell.” Tucker started to defend himself, as if he had done something to personally offend North.

Drew knew just too well that he could seem intimidating as fuck what with being so tall and rather muscular. Thank goodness that Beta had implemented a training program to keep their bodies in shape during cryo.

Exhaling, North closed his eyes again and rubbed his forehead. He felt a headache coming on.

“It’s okay. At least I know a bit at the moment.”

Dropping his hand, he opened his eyes and stared at said limb, “It’s just difficult for me. For a while, Ala and I had been really close and now, it seems like she’s a total stranger to me.” He muttered.

Tucker snorted at that, his arms crossed, “And you still are wondering why that is? Dude, she thought you were dead for ten fucking years. Don’t you think that people move on and change during that time?”

North nodded jerkily at that, “I know, but it still is strange.”

“For you, yes, since you’re missing those years. Anyways, for her and us all ten years had passed and we changed. Take Wash, for example. As far as I know he had been different in the Project. Fuck, he even was different when we first met. A paranoid, always looking over his shoulder bundle of nerves. I was afraid he would shoot me whenever I did something so much as breathe wrong.” Tucker chuckled at the memories where he more often than not was glad to be wearing armor since he usually ended up flat on his back with the breath knocked out of his lungs and a knife to his throat when Wash hadn’t heard him coming.

“Yeah, he’s changed quite a bit.” North smiled sadly, “He became what we all feared to become. Being broken by the Project.”

“No shit.” Tucker scoffed, “But seriously, his bad days today aren’t half as bad as his good days back in Valhalla.”

North smiled, a bit afflicted, “I can imagine. York and I had been rather paranoid too when we got away from the Project. But it seems that Wash was affected the worst. Mainly because of Epsilon.” He stated, remembering how Wash had woken up in the infirmary, disoriented and not even knowing his own name.

Tucker’s face fell a bit at the mention of Epsilon.

Right, it hadn’t been so long since he had shattered himself to rescue Tucker and the others. Epsilon was more a friend than an A.I. to them.

If he was remembering things correctly, Caboose even referred to Epsilon as a ghost instead of an A.I. and his ‘bestest friend ever.’ It was rather understandable that the childlike man had been extremely crestfallen when he realized that Epsilon was gone for good.

“Yeah, pretty crazy stuff went down there.” Tucker sighed, “Anyways. Gotta go now. Guess Ala should be coming back soon but she won’t be awake until tomorrow. I suggest you get some rest too and check in on her then?”

It was a question, but North could hear the worry behind the words.

He smiled apologetically, “I guess you’re right. I will do that then.” He muttered, getting up with a low groan and leaving the infirmary room together with Tucker.

Ala had already hounded him for staying up so long and for pushing himself to his limits when he couldn’t help anyway. Such as in this moment, for example.

Ala was in surgery and he wouldn’t be helping her by staying up all night. He had promised Ala that he wasn’t going to do that anymore if there wasn’t an extremely important reason to do so. She was grateful for his help, but there were times where he really couldn’t help and would do her and everyone else more good by resting up instead.

As much as he hated the thought of it, he decided to do good on the promise he had given her then and get some rest.

Returning to his room, he took a shower and lied down on his bed.

It took him quite a while to fall asleep, and upon finally having done so, his sleep wasn’t the least bit fitful and he always woke up after two or three hours of sleep from a nightmare of some kind.

The only common thing any of the nightmares had was that there was Ala in them, blood running down her legs from a wound in her lower abdomen that he couldn’t see clearly.

It was just like in the infirmary. He saw the blood, but no wound.

He couldn’t tell where the blood came from, he only knew that it was there.

It kept him up and when dawn rolled around, he was already up and out in the training area to get his mind cleared and his body untensed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I need your help. I am facing another writers block and I don't have the slightest bit of idea about how to continue.  
> I am some chapters ahead, were Ala came clean about the baby and other things and now I am having problems on how to write out the next chapter.
> 
> Hell, I don't even know if I should put in a little time jump up so some days ahead or write immediately after the night she had told everything.
> 
> Now I need your help. I need any, literally any idea on how to continue. Write as much as you want, maybe a bit detailed since I have absolutely no idea about how to continue. Maybe one of your ideas gives me the inspiration on how to continue as in Sanctuary. You guys did awesome work there with inspiring me! :D


	34. Chapter 34

The next day, when North entered the infirmary, he could see Ala sitting upright in her bed with an expression he could only describe as bored out of her skull and fed-up at the same time.

Beside her, there was a bunch of people standing around her, tinkering at her left arm and talking in such a gobbledygook, North immediately tuned it out. He recognized Simmons, Sarge and Dr. Grey in the bunch, all of them at the front of tinkering. Alas arm was propped up on some kind of special armrest where the specialists could prod and poke at the limp piece of metal scrap.

 

Walking past the group, the Freelancer threw the woman a sympathetic smile, which god answered with a crooked one herself.

 

Sitting down beside the black haired, he could see that she looked paler than usual and still a bit wrecked from yesterday. It was itching under his fingernails to ask her about what happened yesterday, but he refrained since there were many other, mostly foreign people around. The story she would have to tell probably wasn’t for them to hear too since it looked rather private as not even Tucker could tell him what was up or only could tell the minimum about it.

 

While sitting beside the bed as he did during the last weeks, observing the scientists prodding and tinkering around at her arm.

 

Whilst watching, Drews thoughts again took off to another realm. What did he tell Tucker yesterday? That he barely knew the woman he once used to know? He wasn’t so far off the subject when he said that given the fact, that she still looked the same, some wrinkles and signs of aging taken aside. But her character was completely different.

 

He could understand that there were ten years between their last and next meeting and he could understand that people tend to change during those times. But it was still so damn difficult. He saw the woman he loved sitting here. At least the woman he used to love – He would have to get used to her different behavior. But haven’t they been any different during the project. They were swearing and doing shit as much as they do here, but it was just somewhat unused to hear the cursing and this behavior from this special person.

 

However, her character wasn’t the only thing he had to get used to. The most apparent and blaring thing that changed was her arm. Tucker had told her at some point what happened and why she had a cybernetic arm. Still, it was unused. Last time he saw her, she was whole, including the flesh arm. She didn’t not only change psychically, but also physically – Obviously.

 

Anyway, back to the topic. He could understand that she had changed, but they also needed to talk out what happened from the point North had left the apartment in his armor to help South up to the point where Felix knocked off Macs helmet.

 

But right now, didn’t seem to be the right time. Too many people around who didn’t need to hear of them talking about what they went through together.

Besides, during the time he had been thinking about everything he previously did, Ala looked even more irritable and if the occasional twitch of her body is any indication, she seemed to feel some amount of pain.

 

Some moments later, Mac jerked up pulling way the arm with a shout. “Ouch, watch it, man!” growling, she pressed her cybernetic arm to her chest.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! That means that the reconstruction of the nerves and the wires during the emergency surgery indeed helped! Let’s fix the rest and then you’re going to get used to that new arm of yours again!” The doctor chirped happily, making North feeling weirded out. And he didn’t seem to be the only one given Simmons blanching and some of the scientists looking a bit pale and freaked out.

 

North had already gotten used to the rather weird and crazy behavior of the doc. She’s an expert on her field and fucking awesome given how she patched Wash, Smmons and Ala back together, also Tucker after having gotten stabbed as he got told and also seemed to have a decent amount of knowledge of Sangheili biology to treat Juniors wounds correctly and avoid any infection and possible lethal bacteria entering his system.

And she had a disturbingly big knack for psychoanalysis and torture.

With a low growl and a pointed glare at the doctor, she reluctantly laid her arm back on the armrest. Immediately, Sarge and the doc were back all over it again and talking shop about it, starting to tinker on it again. Thankfully, if her a bit more relaxed face was any indication, it wasn’t as painful as previous anymore.

 

“Freaking fucking with my nerves.” Ala growled, rubbing her free hand over her face. “If it wouldn’t be for leaving today I wouldn’t allow them to keep on fucking with my arm.”

Looking over a bit quizzical, North mustered the woman, who seemed even more pale. She seemed to notice his stare and answered. “Dr. Grey allowed me to go to my room for the rest of the recovery when she would be able to properly set up my arm today. They’re on since about three hours.”

 

“Set up? I thought the arm needed repairs and no set-up?” Drew asked a bit confused.

The black haired woman chuckled at that. “The arm was too fucked.” She explained with a wry smile. “Felix obviously didn’t only fuck with my flesh and blood part of my body but also with my cybernetical part.”

 

North felt how the muscles in his shoulders and jaw tensed. He knew that he looked somewhat grimly determined with his jaw set square. He hated to think about that one. He just found out that Mac was his love he thought to have forever lost when having woken up and only moments later she was covered in her own blood, blood gurgling in her lungs and she fighting for her bare life.

 

Then she was in a coma for around five to six week (North didn’t keep track on the actual length since it was too long, no matter if those were five or six weeks) and after having woken up she was sent in a surgery only about two weeks later because she must have had an injury during the time he hadn’t been with her that still affected her and he didn’t know what it was.

 

He felt like being here and still not knowing what it was and it drove him crazy not knowing what was up and how he could help it. But given the actual situation (again) and the fact that she still looked somewhat weak, North decided to put it off for another day to give her time. He suspected her to need some rest and have enough strength to talk this one out with her.

 

Theta was again moving restlessly in his head and it made him feel restless too.

 _‘Theta, what’s up?’_ he asked, feeling a bit unnerved, but decided to not lash out on the little fragment for the stress he was in.

 _‘Northing!’_ squeaked the fragment immediately after the question, pulling further back in his mind.

 _‘Theta, stop running away.’_ North gently ordered indeed soon feeling how the little Fragment came back to the front of his mind.

 _‘Do you know what is up with Ala and what happened yesterday?’_ He asked, making his voice sound gentle and soothing, not demanding because he know how easily he could scare this special Fragment.

 

It was silent for a long time, before Theta answered. _‘Yes…’_

His brows knitted together on the front when he got that answer _. ‘And why-‘_ He was pulled out of his thoughts however when he heard Ala speak up. “Don’t beat Theta up about that. He had to promise me to not tell you either of it.” She muttered, reaching for the glass on the nightstand to take a sip. “I made him promise to not tell you about my true identity and about _that_ here.” She made a motion with the hand she held the glass in, making clear that she meant the incident of yesterday.

 

“I see…” North muttered, making the answer sound more like a long exhale than a real answer.”

“I wanted to come clean with you after everything was over. I didn’t suspect myself that it would turn out like it did with Felix.” She sighed, leaning her head back and patiently waiting for the doctors to stop messing around with her arm. She occasionally would comply the doctor’s orders to lift a finger, her hand, her complete arm or to do some tests to see how strong her strength in her arm was and if it needed some adjustments.

 

“And by coming clean you meant…?” North knew that Ala was smart enough to catch up on his open question and answer it accordingly. “I planned on asking you to meet me in my room and then tell you who I really am.” Her face darkened with anger as she seemed to get the feeling that North was accusing her of having planned this situation here all along. “I certainly haven’t planned on getting myself killed on some rescue mission having gone south.”

 

“And why did you do it then? Carolina or anyone else could have done it.” He flared up, his voice becoming a notch louder. He earned some dirty glares of the scientists and decided to calm his temper and instead glare at the dark-haired woman. Unlike her brother, this technique didn’t work on her. Never did.

 

“In case you haven’t noticed, genius,” she snapped back, obviously at the end of her patience too, “Felix had us in a death trap. It was either me or all of us. You would have done exactly the same thing!”

 

This gave him a pause as he looked at the woman glaring at her with an unnerved, almost angry glare and her free hand crossed over her chest. Drew was pretty positive that Dr. Grey already informed her about the origin of the wound under her left ribcage.

 

But given their previous argument, he couldn’t say no to that. He would have sacrificed himself too to save the other and if there was only a small chance. So he didn’t really have the right to say anything against it given the situation at hand.

He exhaled, letting some of the anger go with that. “Yeah, you’re right, I would have done the same way. You got us worried nonetheless with that heavy injury. I don’t want to think about how fucking close this call really was.” He muttered then, looking down on his hands in his lap and feeling somewhat sick of all sudden.

 

Seeing her die would have killed him too, even if in a different way. Either because he would have gotten killed by doing something foolish or by slowly dying from grief.

 

As Tucker stated correctly the previous day, for him this time span of ten years wasn’t that apparent as for all the others except of York. For him, the thing he and Ala had was still very fresh and very _real_.

So it was only normal to still feel strongly for that woman he had fallen in love all those years ago and was ready to fight for what they had to have it again.

 

But he also could understand Alas aloofness and guardedness towards him after those ten years. He could understand that there had been changes to her body, soul and character during this time. It hurt nonetheless since he felt like she was carrying around a huge weight. And it didn’t look like it was the weight of a woman having fought in a pointless war for too long or the weight of fear. Like fear of the Meta for having ripped out her arm.

 

It was a weight she was carrying around that was way heavier and that she was carrying around all on her own for most of the time.

 

He wanted to make her fall in love with him again and be together with her, just as they were all those years ago, but he also could understand that she couldn’t trust him or love him as readily as she did back in New-Bangkok.

He first had to prove he meant it before she would start to trust him again. And to prove that he still loved her and wanted her to trust him meant being patient with said person. So he would start being patient and wait for Ala to tell him why she felt such horrible pain yesterday, so bad that she obviously had to go to the surgery immediately.

 

What he didn’t know however, was the fact that he had her trust and love all along, but it was difficult for her to forgive him for that betrayal at the same time. Probably there also was this situation that happened all those years ago that build a wall between them and separated them.

 

Ala trusted Drew. She wouldn’t have let him sleep in the same room with her or be close to her all the time. She would have shooed him out of her room the moment she felt vulnerable and didn’t want to show him that.

 

Oddly enough, after all that time, she still trusted the Freelancer like she did during all those years back.

And she still loved him – She loved him dearly.

 

Usually, when a person dies, it is a final thing, and you start mourning and grieving, you start living your live without this person and overcome the fact that they aren’t here anymore. However, North suddenly popping up again ripped all those wounds open she had carefully put a patch on. Their time had been intense and they were always close and knew what the other was thinking. Their emotions tended to boil over at some point, making them passionate lovers and fighters.

 

However, because of all of that, this intense way of being together, caused all the bigger wounds to be torn into her soul, this being intensified by the fact that she lost two people on that day, Drew and Sasha.

 

She needed time to get used to the fact that Drew again was around again and to tear down the walls she had put up around this part of her soul to protect herself from any more harm than already happened to her.

 

But she also knew that she had to tell North about Sasha somewhen. He would have been a dad when the baby would have been born and he had a right to know the truth for fucks sake!

She just didn’t feel ready yet and needed time on how to break it into him. She probably would pull the injured-card some days more and would have to face the situation soon enough.

 

Sighing, she looked over to her cybernetic arm, seeing just in time how Dr. Grey screwed some bolts in tight and gave it a pat. “You’re good to go and your arm is as new!” she chirped, waiting for Ala to lift her arm and move it around testingly. The weight still was about the same as was the feeling of it moving around. However, due to the chip implants and better wiring of this new arm, it reacted faster, almost as fast as her right arm. This probably would cause some problems at the beginning, but she will get used to it rather fast she mused. She needed some time to get used to the old arm, so this here would be a piece of a cake.

 

Nodding to Dr. Grey, she emptied her glass and put it back down on the nightstand. “Thanks doc. I will make sure to not come here again so fast.”

“Oh, I don’t mind having you here.” The doc replied, making North doubting her sanity until he heard her continue. “However, I prefer it to be as my friend and guest and not as patient.”

“I will keep that in mind, thanks Dr. Grey.” Ala replied with a chuckle, sitting up and swinging her legs out of her bed.

 

“Are you okay to already get up?” North asked from the other side of the bed.

Looking over her shoulder, North could see, that the hair on the back of her head was a bit shorter than the hair on the front. He liked that hairstyle of hers. It looked a bit like Kimballs hairstyle, although Ala didn’t have bangs twice as long as the rest of her hair. However, it suited her.

 

“I can walk around some steps. I’m good to go now, doc?” Ala asked this question to the Doctor who was about to leave.

Dr. Grey turned back around. “Hm? Oh yes, sure sweetheart. But you’re on bedrest for the rest of the week, don’t forget that. Only walking allowed to get food and for toilet breaks.” She chirped, jotting down a note on her datapad.

“Got it.” Ala muttered begrudgingly. “And for trips to the library to get books to read?”

“And for that, but nothing more, you got me sweetheart?”

“Yes.” Ala sighed deeply. North already picked up on her hating that pet name Dr. Grey had given her from the first day after she woke up.

 

“How about I walk you to your room?” North suggested, getting up on his feet with that.

The black haired woman was staring straight ahead for some seconds and North already started to feel somewhat uncomfortable at the lack of response, until she then said. “Okay, if you promise to not make a fuzz when cough or sneeze.”

“You’re not going to drop dead, I know.” North sighed defeated, walking up to her right side and offering his arm for her to hook hers in. “Shall we then?”

 

He could feel her scrutinizing glare on him, but he didn’t let his smile falter or the gentle expression in his eyes waver. Eventually, the black haired woman laid her hand on his lower arm, not exactly the way he had imagined it, but he was okay with that too, and they took off towards her room. He felt like there would be a long way for them to go, but if it was for their future to be together, North felt oddly okay with that.

 

After a short stop in the library and Ala renting out a shit ton of books, they made their way back to the barracks the captains were having their rooms. North was insisting on carrying all the books. Seriously, when did she think on going to read all of them?

 

If she still was the way she was ten years ago, she would read them within three or four days tops, including reading and writing reports and planning the training schedule for the different groups of lieutenants she got assigned to train.

 

They were all pretty much the same. Boredom was the source of many problems and keeping yourself and others busy kept them from arguing. Mostly. If you’re not Grif and Simmons or Tucker and Wash who were somewhat constantly arguing with each other.

 

Putting down the books on Alas desk after arriving, he could see the photographs of them from more than ten years ago, they were lying in a neat stack on the nightstand.

“You kept them?” he asked, mustering the top photograph. It was the one of them and Theta. It looked like a family photograph.

 

“My piece of memory.” She replied simply, putting down his old dog tags along with the ring beside the photographs. “Aside of the photos, the dog tags and the ring I haven’t had much to take with me in the war. Besides that, we haven’t been much to decorate and make much photographs since we were both living undercover at that time.” She explained, sitting down on the bed and checking her four canteens.

 

They were all empty, what a surprise.

 

Before the black-haired woman even was able to get up, North took them with a muttered “I’ll go.” And left her room.

 

If he felt awkward in the hospital, he felt completely and utterly alien and misplaced in Macs room. There were the photographs for them but also the clear signs of a war having raged on up until some weeks ago with documents with tactical schemes and inventory lists and army set-ups lying around, a report ready to be filled in on the datapad and her armor sitting in a corner of her room.

 

Tucker and probably Wash too must have cleaned and polished it since it all was clean and neat again, no traces of blood left on the white surface.

There also were her weapons. North didn’t fail to note that she was using his sniper rifles he had with him when they first met.

 

He could see the small emblem of Project Freelancer etched into each of the barrels along with his name. Agent North Dakota.

 

After filling the canteens, he splashed some water in his face and took some moments to calm his nerves.

 

He was happy to be with Ala again, to have her back safe and sound. But there still was this huge elephant in the room he had to address eventually and the fact that they seem to be so familiar but total strangers to each other all the same.

 

Leaving the mens bathroom and entering the room of his love, he could see her sit on the bed and tapping away on the datapad. Her writing got better over the years he noticed, her speed in writing was incredible. She didn’t even look what she was typing, completely focused on the datapad and on the text appearing there.

 

At least it seemed so. That was until she suddenly stopped and looked up to him. “Already back?” she asked conversationally and North felt somewhat reminded of the time he almost gave her a heart attack after unintentionally sneaking up on her.

 

“Yeah, I thought you might be thirsty.” He replied lamely, putting the canteens down on the floor in front of the nightstand and then decided to give her some space.

“I am going to check on the others. Just… call me or the others if you need something.” He said awkwardly.

 

Ala again looked at him with a long glance, before nodding. “Okay, I will do that.” Before turning back to her datapad.

 

North took it as a cue to leave.

 

It still felt so awkward and North felt hollow and alone when he closed the door to Alas room and left the floor to get to his own room. He only hoped to be able to fix everything again. He didn’t really know if he could bear being around Ala all the time and not being with her like he had been all those years ago.


	35. Chapter 35

Five days later, the black-haired woman got up at the sound of her alarm going off.  She snatched some fresh street clothes, her towel and left her room to go to the shower.

 

During her time in the army after leaving New Bangkok, she had gotten into the habit of taking a shower upon waking up since that helped her boot up even more in addition to a good black and strong coffee that she would get herself from the mess hall later on.

 

Shedding her sleeping clothes, she put them on a chair close to the stall that she was using.  She groaned upon getting up again: she was seriously getting old and seemed to need longer and longer to really boot up and get her body to move. Ten years ago, she had been able to get up and directly go for it the moment that she was on her feet.

 

Entering the stall, she waited for the water to turn warm before stepping into the spray with a relieved sigh. It was nice, getting to feel the warmth wash over her.

 

She had used the showers during the first months after losing Drew in order to be somewhat functional. She hadn’t been able to sleep much back then and had needed the shower and the coffee to somehow be able to pull through the day. Sure, it had become better after a while, even more when there was Tucker around often sitting with her and talking with her about important and sometimes not so important things, just to take her mind off of her grief.

 

Sometime later on, when she didn’t need the shower anymore since she was able to sleep enough, it had become some kind of habit and Ala spontaneously decided to keep that habit up since she had started to like it.

 

Grasping the bottle with the shampoo, she still had to remind herself to not squeeze out as much shampoo as she used to. Her hair was a lot shorter now and didn’t need that much soap.

 

Pressing the lid of the bottle shut and putting it on the ground, she applied the shampoo to her hair with her thoughts drifting off again.

 

Since she had woken up and had been in the hospital, Drew hadn’t left her side and always was with her, even if it was only to sit beside her silently and keep her company.

 

He was worried about her, always keeping an eye out for her in case something happened. Given the information about her injuries she received from Doctor Grey and the medic who had treated her in the field, it wasn’t surprising that Drew was on his toes so much around her.

 

She made a face at that particular thought.  She thanked him by being snappy and angry, even after all that he did. He hadn’t been obliged to help her after she had gotten injured, but he had done it nonetheless. Drew had blown the blood out of her lungs, and had to see the horrible blood show following that.

 

Looking down at herself, she could see the new scar underneath her left bust. The scar looked jagged on one side, this stemming from the fact that she had reared up when the medic did the cut. That poor guy still blanched when he told her about what had happened and excused himself over and over again for injuring her and inflicting more pain.

 

At some point during his apology, she had shut him down and told him that she didn’t hold it against him. That he did what he had to do and that he did great. Without him she probably wouldn’t be alive anymore, having drowned in her own blood.

 

Shutting down the shower and wringing out her short hair as well as she could, she stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel with her left hand. She had to actively think on using her left hand to get used to it again. To be honest, she already had made big progresses since she was using her arm almost normal again during her time off the battlefield.

 

The rest would come within the next few days since she suspected that Doctor Grey would be giving her the green light soon to start with a light training regimen again to get back in shape. She hated lying around all day. Sure, at first it was cool to have two or three days off, but the sensation of that quickly wore off and it had become annoying.

 

Luckily for her, her visitors seemed to notice and gave her the space she needed. Most of all Drew.

 

Right… She hadn’t seen North around since he had checked in on her the day after she got released. His absence gave her enough time to think about the whole situation and to realize that she was doing wrong by him and that her anger towards him for not having told her about everything had disappeared long ago, leaving just a sore feeling which had gotten gradually replaced by understanding for him having acted like that.

 

Brushing her hair and again squeezing as much water out of it as possible, she put on her street clothes and gathered her stuff to go back to her room.

 

Entering it, she checked the clock, only to realize that she had another thirty minutes before she was scheduled to show up in Grey’s office for the examination. She would have to show up in another three or four weeks to make sure everything had really gone well since these whole happenings were quite a kill-or-cure remedy for her body and even Doctor Grey couldn’t tell if everything was going to go well yet.

 

Sitting on the bed, she absentmindedly massaged her left shoulder.  It was a habit that had stuck with her from the days when her muscles had to get used to the new weight placed upon them and often hurt as a result of that.

 

Her thoughts again drifted back to the happenings before she fell into a coma.

 

Looking at the situation, Ala had to admit that what she went through could be easily categorized as a near death experience.

 

She didn’t come out of that without any harm. And she wasn’t just speaking of the new scars mingling with the old ones. It also was her soul that had been affected.

 

Since waking up, she realized that she had gradually started to change.

 

She was still cursing like a trooper as the others did and she still loved to tease people. But aside from that, she had started to become more like her old self from New Bangkok again.

 

Ala couldn’t put a finger on it. She just felt like she was becoming… _softer_.

 

After North’s death, she became hard and had put up an immensely hard and strong shell around her hurt soul in order to not freak out and shoot anyone for real. The shots with rubber bullets to Tucker’s naked ass to wake him up didn’t count.

 

Anyways, since waking up, she started to act more like she did before Drew’s death.  She couldn’t put a finger on it or name a particular situation when she had started to first notice this, but she more felt like an earlier version of herself in a way. And the huge wall she always thought of as being too high to overcome in order to start anew with Drew suddenly didn’t seem so high anymore.

 

She was sure she could overcome it, but Ala knew as well that they couldn’t jump right back into what they had ten years ago.  Ala knew that she had changed during these past ten years, even if North hadn’t really.  _She_ had. Neither she nor North could say that it would work out if they did start to date again and be a couple, because of the time difference – even if she suspected North to vehemently insist that they would work out somehow.

 

But she didn’t want a somehow with the possibility of failure. Sure, they could always fail but she preferred getting to know each other again before jumping in head first. They needed to get to know each other again like they had during the time when North had been living with her.

 

A knocking drew her out of her thoughts, and she went to answer the door.

 

Tucker stood there in his street clothes: some blue jeans, black sneakers, and a teal hubby beater. His dreads were pulled up into a ponytail with a teal band.

 

“Time to go to the doc.” He said simply, making a motion with his hand to make her follow him.

 

“And you’re my escort to make sure I go there?” She asked, closing the door and falling into an easy jog beside her adopted brother.

 

The teal soldier pulled a face, “Given how you’ve put off everything up to now, I prefer making sure you do it now.”

 

Ala sighed. She knew he was right and was only worried about her. She really had put it off too long, although there wasn’t much of an option. She knew that Tucker knew that as well, but she could understand his anger given the fact that she had almost died only about two months ago.

 

Having that in mind, she didn’t comment on it, instead simply knocking their shoulders together amicably and throwing Tucker a smile, “Thanks, brother.”

 

This drew a smile out of the man walking beside her, “You’re welcome, sis.” He replied, opening the door to the hospital and letting Ala enter.

 

The complex with the rooms for the Blood Gulch Crew and the Freelancers wasn’t far away from the hospital, at least for the moment.

 

She had heard from Kimball that they were reconstructing some complexes in the center of the city, to make it possible for the soldiers to get apartments. Since they were their heroes, they would be the first to have that luxury with the rest of the army following afterwards once every apartment complex and house was reconstructed.

 

Sometime later on, they would even be able to move around, but it wasn’t only the prospect of having an apartment of her own that made her smile.

 

Tucker and Wash having a little love nest all their own, along with Doctor Grey and Sarge, Doc and Donut and Grif and Simmons would surely be beneficial for all of them.

 

Simmons and Grif were already pretty used to living with each other since they have been bunking with one another for years now, and she knew that they would be happy enough with that tradition continuing.

 

Doc and Donut had been living in a house together in Valhalla already, so they were also no doubt looking forward to continuing that.

 

Tucker and Wash, however, would be rather interesting to see move in together since they hadn’t really lived together before.  Even more so when Junior would be staying with them.

 

But she was sure they would all work things out to the best of their abilities.

 

Upon entering Examination Room Three at the end of the hallway that the nurse led them to, she sat down on the cot with Tucker taking up his seat in a plastic chair in a corner of the room. There they waited patiently for the doctor to appear.

 

“Have you already thought about moving out?” Tucker asked, as if having read her thoughts just then.

 

Ala made a motion between a nod and a shake of her head, “I had, but I told Kimball to give the apartments to the others first. Like you and Wash.”

 

Tucker didn’t answer, only raising a thick eyebrow and regarding her carefully.

 

She took it as a prompt to continue, “I would be living alone, Tucker. And I sometimes feel like even my room is too big for me despite being as small as it is.” She smiled apologetical and shrugged her shoulders.

 

“You think you would snap there because you would be lonely and shit?”

 

“And shit, yeah.” Ala laughed when she saw Tucker’s face turning a bit sour, “Seriously. I…” she chewed on her lower lip while searching for the right words, “…After North’s death, my apartment in New Bangkok felt too big. I have the feeling that it’ll be the same here when living on my own. So much space can be suffocating too, you know? It sounds idiotic, but it is like that.”

 

Again, she shrugged a bit apologetically and focused on the door since both of them could hear footsteps drawing closer.

 

About an hour later, Tucker and his sister were on their way to the mess hall to get some breakfast and coffee after Doctor Grey had cleared her for some light training, as Ala had suspected she would.

 

The surgeries had gone well and the healing had progressed okay. However, the doctor had warned Ala that she could suffer from some pain during the next several days still as her body had to adjust to the changes that had been made.

 

The woman had nodded and thanked Doctor Grey for her help.  She promised that she would visit her sometime soon, but not as a patient.

 

The doctor had smiled at that, chirping pleasantly something about having to get the rest of her life sorted out because she would just _love_ to psychoanalyze Ala at some point given her rather complex situation to see what that does to her.

 

Ala declined politely and left together with Tucker as soon as possible.

 

Entering the mess hall, she could see that everyone was sitting around the table.  Even North, York, and Carolina were eating breakfast with the rest of them.

 

Her first instinct was to turn around and get the heck out of here, but she ignored that feeling and kept on walking. She couldn’t have left anyway since Tucker had grabbed her right arm to keep her in place.

 

“You’re staying here. No running anymore.” He muttered, guiding her over to the distribution area where she got herself oatmeal with fresh fruits.

 

The apples on Chorus still freaked her out. They started out white and were perfectly ripe when the skin was pitch black and the flesh of the apple was a sickening green color. However, after having gotten used to the odd coloring, she loved the apples. They were the perfect mix of sweet and sour.

 

Sitting down, she could see that Tucker had already taken up his seat beside Wash which only left one open space right next to Drew.

The teal-armored soldier threw her a cheeky smile when he noticed her withering glare, but Ala schooled her expression immediately when North turned around to look at what Tucker was smiling about.

 

She could see the surprise in his eyes, although the rest of his expression was schooled into a neutral one.

 

Walking up to the table, she decided to bite the bullet and not play the picky princess.

 

“This seat taken?” She asked curtly, picking a piece of the apple and plopping it in her mouth. Sweet and sour.

 

It took Drew a moment and an elbow to his ribs from York to snap out of his daze, “No.  Have a seat, please.”

 

 _Ever the polite gentleman_ , the woman thought to herself when she put the tray down and sat on the seat.

 

Beside her was Palomo, currently taking a sip out of his bottle of water.

 

“Geez, what’s with all the tension between you guys?” He asked around a mouthful of bread, “After Captains Grif, Simmons, Tucker, and Washington… now you too, Mac?”

 

 _Pretend to be cool_ , she swallowed the oatmeal in her mouth before looking him over and saying in a sweet voice, “I take it that you have too much free time if you’re able to observe our dynamics so much, Lieutenant Palomo?”

 

Said soldier snapped to attention, his face showing clearly that he knew exactly that he was in trouble.

 

“If that’s so, you can start running laps after you’ve finished your breakfast. What do you think, Captain Tucker?” With that she turned to Palomo’s direct CO, “I guess ten laps should be sufficient?”

 

“Make it fifteen and I am good.” Tucker replied casually, deliberately taking a sip from his coffee.

 

“Okay, twenty it is.” She smiled at him, stirring her coffee.

 

That drew a whine from the young soldier, “But Captain Tucker said it’d be only fifteen!”

 

“Twenty-five.  I’d better start running if I were you, Lieutenant Palomo, or you’re not going to be finished in time for today’s dinner.” Ala joked, “As far as I remember, we’re going to have meatloaf… your favorite.”

 

After another whining session and Ala increasing his task to thirty laps, the young lieutenant took off to get his extra work done. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Jensen had gotten up as well and had followed the male out.

 

Well, speaking of sexual tensions.

 

Taking a sip from her coffee, she could more hear Tucker’s shit eating grin than see it, “Talking big about other people’s sexual tensions, but when it comes to him, he’s fucking dense.”

 

Looking over the rim of her cup, she looked at the dark-skinned man, “I know others who are the same.”

 

The pointed look that she had cast on him made the other soldier huff and cross his arms, “I am not the only one here that could apply to.”

 

“I never said you were, but if the shoe fits… wear it, huh?” her smile and the mirth shining in her eyes wasn’t only something that Tucker could see.

 

“Looks like she got you there, dude.” Grif interjected from his place on the other side of the table.

 

Looking over at him, she could sense that the Hawaiian obviously felt safe from her teasing for the moment.

 

“That applies to you too, you know?  You haven’t exactly been a knight of the rose either, buddy.”

 

Grif’s glance darkened slightly when they both heard York and Tucker snort under their breaths.

 

“Eh, I don’t care. Simmons loves me anyway.” Grif put his hands behind his head and leaned back.

 

The cyborg beside him snorted, “Oddly enough yes, though I am asking myself everyday why I do.” He joked.

 

“Come on! Not you too!” This drew a whine out of the Hawaiian, looking at his boyfriend incredulously and a bit hurt before realizing that Simmons was teasing him as well.

 

The whole table burst out laughing loudly at this exchange, all of them laughing until their bellies hurt.

 

When they calmed down, the breakfast and the conversations went on as usual with the bickering and easy conversations soon filling the space between them.

 

Shoveling another spoonful into her mouth, she felt someone nudge her.

 

Since it was from her left side, she knew that it was Andrew.

 

He had been observing her all the time since she had taken a seat. It wasn’t the vigilant eyeing her as if she would drop dead the moment he didn’t look or the glare meant to kill the person who did so much as breathe funny around her that he had done in the past.

 

It was simply a curious watching.

 

He tried to make it subtle, but she knew the man sitting beside her long enough to notice his stare. She just preferred not to react to it.

 

However, when he nudged her now, she looked over to him out of the corner of her eye, arching an eyebrow to wordlessly ask him what he wanted.

 

The Freelancer obviously seemed to have taken this cue as he muttered lowly only for her to hear, “Never knew you could be such an asshole.”

 

The others wouldn’t have heard it anyways since they were in a heated discussion about color coding and whether or not violet now belonged to Blue or to Red.

 

Swallowing down her food, she grinned at him, “I told you I could be…” She answered simply with a grin and a sip from her coffee.

 

“Yeah…” North trailed off, obviously getting the hint and remembering her having told him that years ago in the kitchen when North was still recovering back in New Bangkok.

 

After the breakfast, she put away her tray with the others and went to her room to get dressed.

 

She wanted to do some laps to slowly start getting her body back into its old shape. Well, she would start running and see how far she could get, but she set her limit on five laps tops around the complex for today. She had been off from training for almost two months and still wasn’t completely recovered, so she mused to herself that she better take it easy for now.

 

Falling into an easy jog, she started off her laps around the base.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People already told Ala to woman up, so she does. Here it goes.

Two and a half laps later, Ala had to admit defeat and walked the rest of the lap back to the complex in a leisurely pace to catch her breath and calm down her hammering heart.

 

She felt a bit of pain in her lower abdomen and decided to not start running again or do some strength training since she didn’t want to provoke another set of cramps like she had experienced only some days ago. They had been horrible enough as they were.

 

Passing by the training area, she could see how Wash was training the rookies in infiltrating a building effectively, almost snapping when they did everything else than what he had ordered them to do.

 

The exasperated sigh coming from him was evident.

 

She grinned.

 

He never had been one with much patience as he said so himself from time to time, but for having no patience he had been doing pretty good since coming here.

 

He had been training the lieutenants ever since he had arrived here and if keeping up with their training wasn’t a sign of extreme patience, Ala didn’t know what else could be. Training them a thing was worse than teaching a stone how to fly.

 

Sauntering off with a grin before any of them noticed her and would become unfocused on their current task, she walked over to the living complex for yet another shower. It was soon around lunch and she wanted to go there freshly showered.

 

Entering the mess hall, she could see that most of the guys were still out training and working out.

 

Probably for the best, she decided.

 

During running, she had made up her mind and seeing any of the guys would no doubt have her resolve crumble faster than she might hold onto it.

 

Sighing, she got some salad and some bread for her lunch since she didn’t really feel so hungry.

 

Her nerves were making it hard for her to eat. She was so nervous, she felt like puking just from eating this bit of food, but she knew that she had to force herself to eat.

 

Just when she was about to leave, Wash entered with his helmet under his arm. They only wore their armors when training or being outside the city since the situation outside the walls was still far from being stable.

 

The youngest of the Freelancers looked at her in surprise when he saw her walking up on him.

 

“Already done with lunch?” He asked, since they usually ate together at the same time.

 

“Yeah…” Ala played with a strand of her hair.  Since her braid was now gone, she had started fiddling with a strand of her hair instead whenever she was nervous, “I… I have something to do and I’m nervous enough as it is.” She replied, sighing again.

 

It was silent for a moment before Wash took a step towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

 

Amongst their team this had become a gesture of comfort. All of Blue Team did it, even Caboose – although she suspected him of not really knowing what this gesture meant.

 

“Good luck, then.” Wash might be dense when it came to many things, but he was smart enough to know what Ala was up to.  Ala was sure he knew what she had to do.

 

“It’s a good idea to come clean and let him in on what happened.” This confirmed her suspicions about him knowing what she was up to, “He still loves you. He even told me that when we were out for a beer once after Tucker got better after Epsilon’s death.”

 

Ala looked at him a bit surprised and Wash shrugged his shoulders, “Come.”

 

He pulled her into a quieter corner of the mess hall where they weren’t immediately visible. Besides that, they still had another twenty minutes until the rest started to file in, usually announced by Donut hopping into the room with Doc in tow.

 

When they arrived, Wash turned around, adjusting the helmet on his hip.

 

“When Tucker was a bit better after Epsilon, I decided to go out with North since he seemed somewhat troubled.  It was then that he told me that Theta was acting strange, aside from just the breakdown at Epsilon’s shattering.” He made a motion with his hand to illustrate it, ”In any case, he tried to get through to the Fragment but always when it came to you, Theta would immediately shut down and refuse to talk to North. I suspected that he had to promise you to not tell North, which I don’t approve of by the way, but I calmed North down and said that Theta probably had something to sort out and would come around eventually.”

 

Wash shifted his weight to his other leg, “That’s when he told me that you reminded him of his girlfriend – yes, he still talks in present about your relationship.” Wash added with an amused grin when he saw her surprised look, “In any case, he told me that aside from those missing ten years for him, his feelings still were strong. I remember that he laughed and said something along the lines of _‘I never suspected myself to fall so hard for someone after entering the project, since I am a special OPs and loss is even more present as part of Freelancer.’_ ”

 

Wash sighed, scratching his head, “I can relate to that. You become reluctant to let others in to your life and your heart. Besides that, North is an emotional person when he doesn’t have to do a job as a soldier. Him saying something like that is pretty unusual. He usually is way more cautious on what he would say since it could be used against him if the wrong person heard it, you understand what I mean?” Wash shrugged again with his shoulders.

 

Ala stood there for a moment, pondering over the things she just heard before answering, “I understand what you mean. Thanks for sharing that. I think I understand him better. Although I can’t promise this will go down easy. I have no clue as to how it’s going to play out.” She sighed heavily.

 

“The most important thing is to try. Give him a chance. He’s a good guy. He still loves you and I feel like it’s going to kill him at some point since you’re rejecting him without giving him a chance to explain himself.” Wash explained with a small smile.

 

“Wow… no pressure at all here, huh?” She remarked dryly, to which Wash chuckled.

 

“Better you know the standards from the start.”

 

“Right.” Mac sighed again, her nervousness getting worse with every passing minute.

 

Wash again laid a hand on her right shoulder and smiled supportively, “You’re going to be okay, both of you. If you try, you’re going to be fine. I mean, Tucker and I work, why shouldn’t you two?”

 

Ala couldn’t help but snort and laugh at that. “Looking from that point of view, you’re right.” She chuckled, “We’ll see. I’ve at least decided to talk to him and come clean. I can’t promise anything on what will happen after that.”

 

Wash decided to only smile and pat her shoulder once before leaving and catching Donut before he could assault her and make her even more nervous than she already was.

 

Ala decided to leave, mingling with a group of young soldiers leaving the mess hall just then. She could see Caboose passing by, but he didn’t seem to notice her.

 

After being out of eye and earshot, she broke off from the group and headed towards the living complex to clean up a bit and think on how to approach the subject and break all the news to Andrew.

 

***

 

In the mess hall, York was the last to arrive with Carolina having been the fourth to show up.

 

One couple, and yet the people in said relationship are so different.

 

Biting into a piece of sausage he had just cut into, North observed York leaning down and kissing Carolina before plopping down next to her and starting to eat.

 

Although he felt happy that York had finally gotten together with his love Carolina after so many years, he felt jealous all the same.

 

Seeing them treating each other with so much affection outside of the battlefield made him sad and hurt all at once.

 

That same sad feeling was evoked whenever he saw others being happy together, knowing that he would never have that again if he wasn’t lucky enough.

 

Watching Carolina and York together hurt even more in a way since his love was still alive too and on the same fucking planet as him, but obviously seemed to have moved on too far for them to ever have a chance to be a happy couple again.

 

At least, he preferred thinking of the worst case scenario in order to be happily surprised if things turned out to be a bit different from what he had initially expected instead of hoping for the best and having said hope shatter in front of you on the ground.

 

Pushing around his food on his plate, he pondered over their current situation.

 

He didn’t know if he was imagining things, but he had the distinct feeling that there were still feelings for him on Ala’s side: that she still felt something for him, though he couldn’t be sure of that.

 

He still loved her, how could he not?  For him, not even a year had passed since he had been shot and his relationship had been ended forcefully.

 

For her, it was almost eleven years between the point back then and today.

 

Sighing, he gave up on eating. North didn’t feel like eating anyway.

 

Taking a sip of water, he let his thoughts wander to Theta.

 

 _‘What do you think of all that?’_ He could feel Theta moving around in his mind, but waited patiently for the Fragment to answer.

 

 _‘About which part?’_ He asked finally.

 

 _‘Everything.’_ North sighed again inwardly.

 _‘I guess it would be best to talk it out with Ala. Only she can answer most of those questions for you.’_ Theta started, _‘At the risk of getting hounded by her later, she still has feelings for you. I can’t tell if it’s enough for you both to work out again, but there’s a chance.’_

 

 _‘And you know that because…?’_ Drew asked curiously.

 

 _‘First because I’ve been in her head and second because I have eyes in my own head._ ’ The Fragment replied, adding on an afterthought _, ‘Talk to her. Today. You both aren’t scheduled for anything this afternoon or evening.’_

 

The buzzing of his phone drew North out of his thoughts. Absentmindedly, he read the message –stopping short when he read the text anew and very thoroughly.

 

 **Ala:** _We have to talk. Meet me in my room in 15._

 

Short as ever, but it was all he needed to know. He guessed that there would be enough talking done after that.

 

Putting his phone away, he informed Theta, _‘I guess she beat me to that. She wants to talk. I should meet her in her room in fifteen.’_

 

 _‘Good. Talk it out. There’s a lot you two have to discuss’_ Theta replied sternly.

_‘Would you mind participating too? I guess you’re as concerned as me.’_ North felt a bit lost facing Ala alone. And he knew that Theta knew that.

 

 _‘I will where my opinion is necessary. You have to sort out the rest.’_ Theta answered simply before returning to his place in North’s mind.

 

With a sigh, the Freelancer got up to put his tray away and leave the mess hall after having informed his friends about him going to talk things out with Ala, noting that they both would probably not be around until tomorrow morning.

 

Tucker and York winked at him suggestively with huge grins on their faces and wished him good luck along with the others, who didn’t seem to think as dirtily about what North had just said as those two particular people had.

 

***

 

Ala was sitting on the chair at her desk in her room, staring out of the window with her human arm resting on her cybernetic one in her lap.

 

She had thought about the situation to come many times and the guys had been right. She needed to come clean and explain to Drew what had happened. He had a right of it for fuck’s sake since he would have become a dad and was involved in the things that had happened to her right after his death and later on.

 

That the Meta had gotten her was also partially his fault. Back then she hadn’t thought that her life had much worth to it compared to the others and had thought that getting ripped apart by the Meta was some kind of price she had to pay for being the one who remained behind.

 

Tucker, however, had another opinion on that and made it pretty clear not only by shouting at her but also by shaking her. He almost snapped when he found out that Mac also had this complex along with Wash and that he had to keep an eye on both of them.

 

Unlike Wash, Mac stuck to her promise to not put her life at stake when it was not necessary and hauled ass into the cave the moment Tucker had called.

 

She didn’t know if it had been for the better or not that Wash had stayed behind given what Tucker went through. Maybe it was for the better since it had forced her adopted brother to man up and show what he was capable of, and he was capable of many things.

 

Sighing, Ala closed her eyes and rubbed her human hand over her face. She felt tired and like her energy had been drained. Probably because of the anxiety and the knowledge of what was to come and what she would do.

 

She never had really talked about it with someone else aside from Tucker and telling Andrew of all people wouldn’t make it any easier.

 

Checking her clock, she saw that she still had about ten minutes until Drew arrived. She only hoped she wouldn’t chicken out in those final minutes until she had to face her fate and judgment.

 

It sounded harsh, but it felt like that.

 

Drew would have to hear her out and then decide if he wanted her back or not.

 

She felt like she was more of a broken piece instead of a whole person like she had been back then. She had gone through so much, including losing Drew and Sasha, that it made parts of her somewhat torn and frayed at the ends – splintered like frail glass and threatening to fall apart at every moment.

 

Drawing a shuddering breath, she forced her body and mind to calm down.

 

She mustn’t break down before Drew showed up, because she wouldn’t get shit solved if she was in tears beforehand.

 

However, keeping it calm and collected when facing this huge task wasn’t easy. She felt like breaking down because the thought of the upcoming talk made feelings inside her reappear that she thought to have put under lock and key years ago.

 

Feelings of grief over the losses of North and Sasha, the feelings of helplessness and sadness over someone dear’s death, the feeling of overwhelming impuissance about the whole situation having been forced on her from one moment to another and that she hadn’t been able to help them.

 

Ala knew that she couldn’t have helped back in New Bangkok since her appearance would have had the same effect as throwing a wrench into a well-oiled machine. It would have thrown North and South’s dynamic for a loop and they would have been an easy target. No matter how it went down, North would have died and that made her feel so horribly powerless.

 

Pinching the bridge of her nose until she felt like the bone would snap any second, she focused on the pain and tried to keep her tears down. She had to be calm and collected!

 

Throwing a fit wouldn’t help either of them, and her bursting out in tears before Andrew even knew what was up would help the situation at hand even less.

 

Drawing another deep but still shuddering breath, she felt a bit calmer. At least as calm as she could be at the moment.

 

She felt like back at the digging site. She had been outwardly stable and calm, but it didn’t need much to make her façade crumble and for her to feel like she would cry.

 

Ala had a harsh time back then and had been grateful to Tucker for picking up on her emotional rollercoaster and helping her through it.

 

Well, this time there wouldn’t be a Tucker helping her out.

 

This time, she would have to go through things alone.

 

If she was lucky, which she didn’t expect to be but somewhat hoped for all the same, Drew would help her through it.

 

If not… well… then she would have to carry this burden and get over the emotional mess she was in at the moment on her own.

 

Pulling her knees to her chest, Ala hugged them tightly and tried to somewhat comfort herself and make herself calm down. Having a crying fit wouldn’t get anything solved.

 

Letting her legs slip, she got up briskly and snatched the photos from the nightstand, looking through them.  She pointedly ignored the pictures that evoked too many sad memories.

 

She instead focused on the happy ones to boost her morale a slight bit.

 

The time that she and Drew had been on a little picnic trip outside the city with Theta being allowed to appear.

 

The times they sat outside on the lounge and gazed at the stars, trying to see any kind of constellation. This mostly ended in them making up some kind of weird self-made constellations like ‘ _The Drowning Swan_ ,’ but they had so much fun doing that. And more often than not, they would fall asleep out on the lounge if it was in the summer and warm enough.

 

The times where they would be on jobs and worked as a great team together. Oddly enough, they worked pretty well together from the start – they had just clicked. Both of them knew exactly when a man meant trouble and they worked together like they hadn’t done anything else in their entire lives.

 

Then there was the time they once had a rather bad fight and Ala decided to sleep on the spare bed in her office because she was angry about Drew having fucked up. She didn’t even remember why they had argued, she just knew that she was angry because she thought that it was Drew’s fault that they had the argument in the first place. On the next day, however, her anger was blown away when she saw the breakfast and the bouquet of flowers as a kind of apology on the dinner table in the kitchen and Drew saying that he was sorry.

 

That was probably the one and only fight they had since they both used to discuss things out before it escalated to that point.

 

Breathing in deeply again before letting her breath go slowly but controlled, she put the photographs back on her nightstand right beside the dog tags.

 

Right, the tags and the ring. She would be giving those back if he wanted them. They were her pieces of memory, but in the end they belonged to him – not her.

 

The knocking at her door made her almost jump through the roof as she had been so focused on her memories just then.

 

With one last deep breath, she steeled herself and went to answer the door.

 

Opening said door, she could see Drew standing there with his hand still in the air as if to knock again.

 

He looked at her, a bit confused. He obviously was deep in his own thoughts too since he didn’t seem to have thought of the door being answered so fast.

 

Letting his hand sink, he coughed awkwardly, “I am a bit early, but I can wait another two minutes if you want to...”

“No.  It’s okay, come in.” Ala replied, feeling as awkward as Drew looked.

 

They both obviously felt horribly uncomfortable around each other, feeling as though they were walking on thin ice.

 

When he was in her room, the woman closed the door and turned around to her boyfriend.

 

Was he _still_ her boyfriend? She couldn’t tell.

 

He had been when they had been separated, but that was almost eleven years ago now.

 

So, did it still count?

 

Closing her eyes briefly and drawing in yet another deep breath, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on the task at hand.

 

“Have a seat.” She muttered, pointing to the freshly made bed and taking up her place on the chair like she had previously.

 

Ala could still feel the warmth coming off of it from her having been sitting there before.

 

Strange what things you notice when you’re trying to put off the inevitable.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare tissues... ^^'

Drew sat down, looking at her both expectantly and somewhat lost. For once since they had met again, he really looked as though he was at the end of his thirties and not as young as just having turned twenty-five.

 

“You wanted to talk to me?” North asked cautiously, snapping Ala out of her thoughts again.

 

Right. She couldn’t ask him over and then say nothing. She would have to end what she had started.

 

Letting out a long sigh, she thought about what she wanted to say. All the phrases and speeches she had been putting together over the last several hours flew out the window the moment that Drew had knocked on the door. So, Mac would have to improvise again.

 

Closing her eyes, she rubbed her flesh hand over her face in an attempt to somewhat keep calm.  However, with her flesh hand trembling as she rubbed it over her face, it was pretty evident that she was horribly nervous.

 

“Yeah, I…” Ala stopped, thinking about what to say to not sound rude, “I know my behavior during the last several weeks and months hasn’t been the best and I apologize for that.” She started, seeing a sad smile form on Drew’s lips though he seemed to have decided on giving her space to say what she wanted to.

 

“After everything that went down, I wanted to at least talk everything out with you and come clean. You deserve honesty, at least.”

 

Looking down at her hands, she could see her human hand starting to tremble harder.  She put her cybernetic hand over it and grasped it tightly, trying to calm herself.

 

“I can understand your reaction to this situation. You always had been one who preferred figuring things out yourself.”

 

That was a pretty diplomatic way of saying that she was a coward who preferred running over talking things out.

 

“However, I also wanted to talk to you and apologize for not having told you about the whole business with my clone.” She could see how his hands trembled too and there was an uneasiness visible in his eyes that she rarely ever saw from him.

 

“The point is, I never really thought that it would be necessary to tell you that. I honestly thought that this would work out and that my real body would be staying in cryo forever.  That I would die with my clone, since this body here,” with that, he gestured down his own body to illustrate what he meant, “Aged along with the other to match the time difference.”

 

A crooked but sad sort-of smile appeared on his lips before he continued, “I don’t want to talk myself out of it. I just want to try to explain why I never said a word to you about this whole Avatar thing. It probably would have sounded idiotic anyways.”

 

“Not much more than having an AI implanted into your neural system.” North threw her an incredulous glance to which she smiled at sadly.

 

She couldn’t even bring herself to show her trademark lopsided grin.

 

“When you first came up with that I thought that you were bonkers and that you had something akin to a split personality until you introduced Theta to me.” She explained, looking over at North, “Anyways, where is the little guy? I haven’t seen him around in a while.”

 

“He prefers staying in the background since he thinks we have a lot to discuss.” North explained quickly, his expression turning contemplative which showed Mac that he was talking with Theta in his head.

 

“I think it’s better that we talk about this with him around. It affects him as much as us, at least.” She muttered, bracing her elbows on her knees and staring at the ground.

 

A violet flicker a moment later indicated Theta’s arrival.

 

“Hey there, little guy.” She threw him a small smile.

 

The Fragment looked obviously uncomfortable to be in this situation.

 

“Hey Al—Mac.” The hologram corrected himself immediately.

 

“It’s okay, you can call me by my old nickname.” She smiled softly at Theta, although her smile still looked sad, “I will tell North the same things you know so you don’t need to hide things from him anymore.  Okay, buddy?”

 

“Okay…” although still looking uncomfortable, Theta took a seat on the little carton box containing Ala’s pain medication on the nightstand.

 

Theta looked as much like how Ala felt. Small and frail, feeling horribly lost and uncomfortable… not knowing how to overcome the huge mountain that she had decided to attack in a moment of bravery.

 

She sighed again, deciding to go step-by-step. She couldn’t do much besides that, anyways.

 

“I can understand your reasons, Drew.” It sounded weird, hearing North’s real name coming from her lips once more. She had always tried referring to him as North in an attempt to distance herself from the pain that his real name evoked in her.

 

“Sure, I am hurt and feel somewhat betrayed that you never told me… but I got over that during the last few days. I am not holding a grudge against you because of that.” She explained, feeling Andrew’s surprised glance on her.

 

“I came to understand that you didn’t mean any ill by not telling me and, for me, that makes it okay.” She swallowed around the lump forming in her throat.

 

“Then why…?” North didn’t continue, but Ala knew too well what he wanted to ask. _Why are you being so reluctant and cold? So withdrawn and angry? So sad and distanced?_

 

“There are eleven years between the day you died and today. At least for me, and that’s a long time.” She began telling him, “I had a really hard time coming to terms with your death and the loss of almost everything I held dear. If it wasn’t for Tucker, I don’t know if I still would be here to talk with you about that.”

 

That was true. If it hadn’t been for Tucker talking with her, keeping her company, or simply taking her in his arms and showing her that she wasn’t alone when she felt like breaking down for good, she probably would have shot herself long ago.

 

Looking up, she could see North’s sympathetic glance.  The sadness was evident in his eyes, along with the self-reproaches for not having been there for her during that time.

 

Drawing a shuddering breath, she exhaled slowly. She was clinging to the last bit of self-control she could bring up.

 

“You couldn’t have done anything anyways since you had been dead then.” She threw him a sad-yet-understanding smile, “It’s normal to grieve someone’s death, even more if you loved that person dearly.”

 

It was silent for another long while, although Mac couldn’t help but notice the surprised glimmer in his eyes and the slight darkening of his cheeks at her admission.

 

“I know, but I could have prevented that by telling you about the project that York, Tex, and I started during Freelancer.” He muttered, glancing down at his hands.

 

“It would have only delayed the grieving in a way.” The black-haired woman didn’t look up to see the surprised glance from North at that.

 

“You would have been hoping for him to show up at some point and would have had to admit at some point after months of him not showing up that he probably wouldn’t be finding you, hadn’t woken up, or didn’t want to see you anymore.” Theta finished Ala’s train of thought, to which she only nodded at with a sad smile.

 

“Exactly. I would have waited and hoped fruitlessly.  I would have been devastated too, later on.” She concluded.

 

“But there would also have been the chance of you not having to go through that.” North protested, fixing her with his pale blue eyes.

 

Ala wasn’t able to look at him, so she again stared at the ground at her feet.

 

“Think about it, Andrew. You were gone for more than ten years. A month or two, okay, I could agree with you. But after a year I would have realized that you probably would never return. The odds of you returning weren’t in your favor, no matter how you like to spin it.” She replied to North’s protest, to which he closed his mouth and stared at his hand sadly.

 

She knew that he knew this was true. The odds were simply stacked against them in a time of stellar warfare, with soldiers being drafted and shipped out all over the galaxy.

 

The odds of meeting again after having departed under such conditions were so very small. It was like they had won some sort-of universal lottery with meeting each other again on this planet after all those years.

 

Sighing, she again rubbed a hand over her face. Being at this point, she might as well keep on talking and tell the rest of the story.

 

“Well… I guess you know pretty much everything from the point I met Tucker on, I suppose?” Mac decided to ask to see what North knew and what gaps she would have to fill.

 

“The important parts. About you having been stuck with him and Junior in the temple, about facing an old friend of mine and getting injured, pretty much everything starting from your arm,” at that he looked at her arm. Ala smiled sadly at the mentioning of his old friend Maine who had turned into The Meta due to the metastability of the Fragments that Sigma had triggered, “Up until you all landed here.”

 

Alaska waited patiently for him to continue, “How you gave Wash a concussion and a two-week bedrest after waking up and learning about him being Recovery One – I also got told about his fate after the Mother of Invention went down.” North drew a face at that and Ala knew what he was thinking.

 

“Listen, Drew. You couldn’t have done anything. You had been beaten up yourself and needed the rest urgently. You walking in there would have only caused more trouble for you and Wash than it might have helped either one of you.”

 

There was a small huff from Andrew at that, “Yeah, but I could have gone searching for him after I had healed up.”

 

“And how could you have possibly known what he went through after that?” Ala asked softly, which again gave the male soldier pause. He couldn’t have.

 

Sure, Wash hadn’t been pretty well after they separated his and Epsilon’s minds, but nobody could have guessed that it was as bad as it had turned out to be.

 

And besides, for having gone through so much shit, Wash turned out pretty well.

 

Others would be a slobbering mess in a nuthouse still and yet he was here, training the lieutenants and he had even fooled Price and the Director as Recovery One.

 

“Stop blaming yourself for all that went wrong when you weren’t even there. You can’t prevent your friends from being hurt all the time.” She smiled at him, a small smile with a note of sadness, but she felt like they were getting somewhere with their talking.

 

Slowly but surely, they were getting on even ground and she felt a bit more at ease on approaching the heaviest subject of all.

 

“I know, but I still wish I could.” North muttered, dragging a hand through his messy blond hair. It had grown out of army standard regulation, but he didn’t seem bothered by this fact.

 

“Shielding someone from bad things also means shielding them from shaping their own experiences and growing from that. I am the best example of that.” She chuckled lowly when she saw the sad-yet-somewhat-understanding smile that appeared on Drew’s lips at her words.

 

“Look,” Mac then started, also dragging a hand through her messy and wet hair, “I wanted to talk to you about all of that. However, I can’t tell how things are going to go from here. I don’t even know if you will want me back…” She trailed of, chewing at her lower lip in uneasiness.

 

“What do you mean?” This time, the man’s voice was full of surprise and a lack of comprehension on what she was getting at. How could he know what she was talking about exactly, anyways?

 

“I…” Yeah, how should she approach that delicate subject without overwhelming North completely?

 

Thinking it over, Mac realized that there wouldn’t be a way to break this information into North without completely overwhelming him, no matter how carefully she tried to do so.

 

Then how should she start? Blurting it out would be the worst way to approach the subject, she mused.

 

She felt her eyes sting and her body starting to tremble worse.

 

“I…” She started again, but the lump in her throat made it impossible to continue, as the emotions that had been bottled up for so long made it impossible to continue talking.

 

“I better show you.” She muttered in a choking voice and shakily got up on her feet.

 

Grabbing the photographs on her nightstand, she noticed Theta laying a hand on her ring finger to show that he was supporting her in what she was doing.

 

She shot him a grateful but watery smile to which the Fragment nodded.

 

North observed their exchange silently, but nodded slightly towards Theta when they obviously had a short talk in North’s head.

 

Waiting silently, the Freelancer observed how she sifted through the stack of pictures until she found what she was looking for.

 

The picture looked especially worn and old since she often used to look at it while crying her eyes out. This picture and the one of Drew, Theta, and her were rather badly off given that these were the pictures she most took to looking at when thinking of what she had lost and when she was grieving North’s death. She always thought that the smile he showed in that particular picture was one of the most beautiful that he could have ever mustered.

 

She took a moment to stare at the other picture before she drew another shuddering breath and gave it to North.

 

If he was smart enough, he would see that there was her name printed in the lower left corner, as well as the date that it had been taken. He was a smart guy and she was sure that he could put two and two together in order to figure out what she wanted to tell him with the picture.

 

While North was staring at the picture somewhat blankly, she turned around and lifted her shirt, pushing her bra aside a bit to give a clear view of her back.

 

“I got that some days after you were gone.” She explained in a choking voice, closing her eyes to keep her tears in. After all those years, she couldn’t remember if it was two, three, or four days after Drew and Sasha had died.

 

Having her eyes closed, she could hear the man getting up from the bed and walking over to her.

 

She shuddered when his fingers made contact with her skin, but not because his hand was cold. If anything, it was warm and she would have loved to lean into the touch more. It was more due to the fact that he hadn’t touched her for so long save for with her being unconscious and lying in a hospital cot, drugged up to her hairline on pain medication.

 

And it was the place he touched her at too.

 

The tattoo was a special place to her and she never liked getting touched there. It was the same with not touching Wash’s implant site in his neck. Not even Tucker dared to touch either Wash or Ala at their sore spots. He knew that this was a spot they just didn’t like getting touched at.

 

She could hear him mutter under his breath when he read the lines.

 

“This is…” North started, but couldn’t finish.

 

Mac could hear the choking note to his voice as he slowly seemed to grasp what this all meant.

 

“The date of your death.” The woman finished the sentence for him, putting the bra and shirt back in place, but not turning around, “And the day of Sasha’s death.” She added, after having straightened out her shirt.

 

“Sasha…” Drew sounded like he was somewhat in a daze, not knowing what he should say or think.

 

Well, this piece of information surely overwhelmed him. You don’t get told every day that you would have become a dad if you had survived on a crucial day. If you would have just stayed home and wouldn’t have run after your sister to get killed.

 

“Sasha is…” She could hear paper rustling behind her. Feeling the emotions getting more intense, she hugged herself tightly, feeling horrible and lost right now. She felt like she would explode or something in just this moment.

The first tears began to fall when she finished Drew’s sentence, “Sasha would have been our kid if he would have been born.” She sobbed silently at the last part.

 

Saying those words out loud made the dam inside her start to break and the tears start to fall. Her shoulders began to shake even more as she stood there with her eyes squeezed shut.

 

“You would have become a dad.” She continued, not caring if North was listening. She needed to get it off her chest and she felt like she would suffocated if she kept it in any longer, “It happened when I had this awful medicine you got me from the Chinese medic for my bronchitis. It abrogated the effect of the contraception syringe I gave myself regularly.”

 

She sobbed and sniffed quietly, pressing the heel of her flesh hand into her right eye, “I went to a doc in one of the better parts of town the day South called for your help. After the morning sickness kicked in, I got a hunch and decided to get it checked out. I actually wanted to tell you that when I got home, but when I saw you getting suited up I felt like I was going to throw a fit. I tried to talk you out of it, to beg you to stay with me, to not go for fucking once in your life and let South carry the can for the shit she did herself. I tried to get you to stay so I could tell you that I was pregnant. Tried to—“ with a strangled sob she stopped talking.

 

She couldn’t anymore. The lump in her throat was simply too big.

 

She didn’t need to anyways, since North already got what she wanted to say and turned her around carefully.

 

Before she was even able to fight against him, he had her in a strong embrace. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist, while the other hand went up to her head and cupped the back of it.

 

She felt like the last bit of the dam started to come lose and now she started to break down against Andrew.

 

She was crying and sobbing helplessly, fisting North’s shirt with both her hands, the flesh one and the cybernetic one, as she cried in his arms.

 

She was crying for the first time in years and was finally able to not only push the emotions aside, to not only suppress the feelings she had been carrying around since North and Sasha died, but to take them and slowly start to process what had really happened back then and what this meant.

 

She felt how her whole body trembled and how tear after tear fell, sob after sob wrecking her body.

 

During all this time, there was North holding her tightly and whispering that everything would be fine, that he would be there for her and that he was sorry in her ear. Occasionally, he would press a kiss to her temple, showing that he was there.

 

He didn’t tell her to stop crying, and Ala was thankful for that.

 

She felt like this breakdown was long overdue and that she needed this time, as much as North would need his time to process and come to terms with what had happened.

 

But right now, she was selfish and just needed the person she loved the most in this world to be there for her and only her. To catch her and hold her close when she fell apart. To help her piece herself back together again after having broken apart, so that she could move on from there.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Fallout Drew has to deal with it.

He didn’t know how long he had been standing with Ala in her room with her pressed against his chest and crying her eyes out. He only knew that looking at her or hearing her sob made his heart wrench in pain.

 

It wasn’t that he couldn’t understand why she was crying like that, and that was the main reason that he kept silent and let her weep against his chest so that hopefully she could start to feel better.

 

Sometime into her crying, when he had this feeling that Ala had calmed down a bit, he crouched down. He kept her close to his chest all the same and shoved the arm that had previously been around her waist under her knees to lift her up and carry her over to her bed.

 

She was still clinging to his shirt, although North suspected her of being more asleep than awake at this point in time. Her eyes were closed and she drew shuddering breaths, but, aside from that, she didn’t move or show any signs of being awake.

 

Carefully so as to not disturb or wake her up, he sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall behind him, still holding her close.

 

Theta appeared on the other shoulder than the black-haired woman was currently leaning against and sat down.

 

Leaning forward a bit, he watched the woman. She had her eyes closed and her breathing was even and regular, aside from the occasional shuddering breaths that she would take in. Aside from that, she was still.

 

Leaning back so that he did not topple over, Theta stared ahead at the opposite wall.

 

North let him be, waiting patiently until the Fragment decided to say something. It was for the best: even when sharing a mind, they both had their space and they sometimes needed some moments to gather their thoughts before they could say something to the other.

 

 _“Do you think she’s gonna be okay?”_ Theta asked insecurely, still staring at the wall.

 

North could feel the anxiety coming off of him in waves. The Fragment was preferring to talk with their minds instead of talking out loud to avoid possibly waking Ala up. She needed her rest at the moment.

 

North couldn’t fathom what toll it had taken on her to carry this load on her own for all those years. The fact that she not only had lost him on that day, but also her… no, _their_ baby.

 

She had to go through that time of grieving on her own and yet she still had the strength to push on.

 

Stroking her hair, he observed Ala’s face.

 

For once it looked relaxed, although he couldn’t shake the feeling that she looked way older than being in the middle of her thirties. She looked like she was at least forty and that was mostly due to all of the emotional baggage she had been forced to carry along that she had never gotten the chance to process properly.

 

 _“I hope so, although I can’t tell if she really will be.”_ North sighed through his nose and carefully rearranged the position of the sleeping figure of his girlfriend, _“I guess time will tell…”_

 

 _“I hope she’s going to be okay…”_ Theta muttered in his head, looking utterly crestfallen.

 

 _“I will do what I can to help her and make her feel better.”_ North announced, still having his hand stroke over her hair.

 

 _“Do you think she’s going to let you help her?”_ Theta leaned forward again and watched the sleeping woman, although she hid her face in Drew’s shirt and made it almost impossible to see anything.

 

 _“I think so. She’s already come clean about what happened and everything. It’s a start, at least. She’s going to have to decide if she’s going to accept my help or not when she wakes up again.’_ North replied, wiping away a stray tear that was rolling down her cheeks.

 

It was silent for a moment, until Theta suddenly snorted.

 

 _“You’re still referring to her as your girlfriend?”_ he asked, sounding almost amused by the notion.

 

North could feel his cheeks turn warm at Theta’s comment.

 

 _“So?”_ he asked, almost snappy.

 

Theta only chuckled in response, _“I didn’t say that it’s a bad thing, just that I’m a bit unused to it since it has been more than ten years since the two of you became separated.’_ he explained deliberately.

 

North made a noise between a huff and a sigh at that, _“For me, it’s only been a few months since my clone was killed. Because of that, we never officially separated.’_ he replied.

 

 _“If someone getting shot and killed isn’t a strong enough reason to not feel like you’re in a relationship with someone anymore, I don’t know what would make it more clear myself.”_ Theta stated dryly.

 

 _“I know. I just…”_ North sighed again and moved a bit since the position he was in currently was rather uncomfortable, _“I still have hope and I still love her, you know.”_

 

 _“I know… I know…”_ Theta answered with a low sigh himself.

 

With Theta not talking for the moment, North’s thoughts drifted back to what Ala had told him a while ago.

 

Absentmindedly, he looked over to the bedside table where the picture of the ultrasonography was lying. It seemed to be staring directly back at him as if accusing him silently of not having been there.

 

Or at least, he felt like that was the case. He had left despite how his girlfriend, or fiancée (however you wanted to put it), had needed him more than his sister.

 

After waking up and hearing the stories from Wash and the others about her, he slowly started to realize that South wasn’t the saint that he liked to see her as and that she often did more bad things than good.

 

However, he had still left Ala when she had needed him more than his sister had. He should have stayed and heard her out. He should have stayed and been happy that he would become a dad.

 

He should have been there to watch the baby bump grow and… Fuck, he should have just stayed, for fuck’s sake!

 

_Okay pull yourself together, Drew. You can’t break down when your lover needs you._

 

Breathing in and out deeply, he forced himself to calm down.

 

Well, it wasn’t really that easy since he now knew the truth and trying to process the information that he had almost become a father was pretty overwhelming. It made so many different feelings well up in his chest that it made him want to cry.

 

Since he was old enough to think on the matters of life clearly in order to make up wishes and goals that he would like to achieve in his life, and said goals did not include getting a lollipop at some point in the next five minutes, he had known that he had always wanted to have kids for quite a long while.

 

When he had joined the military, he had to amend this goal for later… if ever. That had made him feel rather sad, to be honest, but he always hoped that it could happen at some point in the future.

 

And then he had met Alaska McCormick who had picked up both him and South on a rainy night after the Mother of Invention had crashed.

 

At first, he had only seen a temporary hiding place in that apartment he found himself in. But then, he had gotten to know Ala better.

 

Her kindness, her humor, how nice she treated Theta and accepted him as a person… which, honestly, not many people could do as easily as she did.

 

The way they just clicked together and soon became friends. It didn’t take long, not even the amount of time that it took South to leave them for the first time, for him to fall in love with said woman.

 

It was strange to fall that hard that fast, but it had happened. And he didn’t regret it, although he almost fucked it up majorly.

 

He could feel Theta snort in the back of his head, but he decided to let it pass. He knew the Fragment’s opinion on that topic already quite well.

 

Then there was South calling and asking him for help. She had Maine on her heels and needed help to get rid of him, to distract him or take him down in order to get away.

 

And he had been the ever-loving idiot of a brother who went there and helped her, subsequently getting killed instead of staying on his fucking ass in the apartment in New Bangkok in order to hear Alaska out and become a happy family.

 

No, he had gotten shot instead and she had been forced to go through all those awful times without him.

 

Groaning lowly, he switched her weight a bit to the side so that he could gain access to his phone.

 

Pulling it out, he first was tempted to shoot a text to York for help but hesitated over the _‘send a message’_ button.

 

York didn’t know about Ala. He couldn’t possibly understand why she was so badly off currently and would ask questions that North wasn’t ready to answer just yet. He needed time to sort it out himself and come to terms with what he had just heard.

 

York would also probably be sound asleep now with Carolina wrapped up in his arms. He preferred not to think of what else they may have done before then.

 

So, who could he write then? He felt like his mind was running in circles and he needed a friend to maybe talk a bit about what was going on. If it wasn’t York he felt he should talk to, who else could he talk to instead?

 

Carolina was out of the count too, as she also didn’t know about what Ala had gone through.

 

Most of the members of the Blood Gulch Crew were out of the count for obvious reasons too.

 

Donut was too much of a gossip hound, and Sarge’s refusal to do anything when it came to helping Blue soldiers outside of extreme circumstances was still quite obvious.

 

Simmons wasn’t really one for heavy emotional things, even less when said matters involved women, and Grif was overall quite lazy and only interested in sleeping, eating, smoking, and Simmons.

 

Then there was Caboose, who was simply a good-natured idiot.

 

Wash was probably already sleeping and he didn’t want to worsen his insomnia.

 

And Tucker was Tucker…

 

Wait a second, that wasn’t completely true.

 

Tucker and Ala were something like adopted siblings to one another, and hadn’t she said that he had helped her through her worst time after North’s “death”? So, it was most likely that he knew what Ala had gone through and would understand the situation upon entering the room.

 

The only problem was that he didn’t have Tucker’s number.

 

He and York had been granted a phone only recently, and he didn’t have everyone’s numbers yet. They had most of them, with York probably having even more than just the numbers of the Captains and some of the Lieutenants.

 

He didn’t even have all the numbers of the Captains.

 

Well… _shit_ …

 

Switching plans, he decided to shoot a text to Wash, since he and Tucker would most likely be sleeping in the same room. They also were closest to Ala’s room.

 

 **Nrth:** _Wash, would you mind bringing some water to Ala’s room? 2 or 3 bottles. Thanks._

 

It was silent for a while, until an answer came through.

 

 **Wsh:** _Did something happen?_

 

 **Nrth:** _I’ll tell you when you’re here. Can you come?_

 

North could hear shifting and grumbling in the other room, along with sounds that were quite similar to two people talking together. He suspected that it was Wash and Tucker who were talking.

 

Minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

 

“Come in, it’s open.” North muttered lowly. He released Ala’s grasp on his shirt and laid her down on her cot.

 

Immediately, she started pulling a face and squirming.

 

North kneeled down beside the cot and again stroked her head, “I am here. You’re not alone.”

 

The black-haired woman’s face softened at that and she seemed to slip back into unconsciousness and kept on sleeping.

 

When he got to his feet again, he could see a sleep-tousled Tucker standing in the doorway looking at his adopted sister with somewhat worried, yet relieved, expression on his face.

Wash appeared moments later with three bottles of water. He put two down on the nightstand and gave the third to North who was sitting on the chair beside the desk. He took it gratefully and emptied about three quarters of the bottle before feeling halfway okay.

 

He still didn’t know what to think or what to say. What to feel or what to do. He just knew that he was currently an emotional mess.

 

Tucker seemed to notice that he wasn’t going to say anything, so he did the talking.

 

He carefully plopped down on the carpet in front of the cot and looked at his sister’s sleeping face. Wash copied his boyfriend’s motion and sat down beside him in front of North, who was bracing his forearms on his knees.

 

“So, she was finally able to talk about it?” Tucker asked lowly, neither of them wanting to wake her up now she was sleeping.

 

“Yeah…” North muttered, playing with the bottle in his hands.

 

“Then you know it now.” Tucker sighed deeply, “She told me about it on the day that you showed up here on Chorus. Not even I knew about it beforehand.”

 

With that, Tucker grasped the photograph of the ultrasonography and looked at it. Wash leaned over and took a look at the picture. He seemed to know the story too since he didn’t react surprised, but never seemed to have seen the picture that Tucker was currently holding in his hands.

 

After some minutes of looking at the picture, Tucker held it out to North who took the picture without really realizing it and began looking at it too.

 

“I didn’t know that she was carrying such a heavy burden. That she had been pregnant.” North muttered after a while, staring down at the picture.

 

“Neither did we, buddy.” Wash spoke up. He changed his position slightly and looked at North, “It was a surprise for us too, since she had managed to hide it rather well.”

 

North only nodded at that numbly.

 

“Then you also know now why she had to undergo another surgery a few days ago.” Tucker muttered, looking down at the ground, “I couldn’t tell you then though. I hope you can understand why now.”

 

North nodded numbly again, still not quite able to process all that had happened so far. He was still struggling to process everything that Alaska had told him. Most importantly, that he had almost become a dad.

 

“I still don’t know what to think or say.” North muttered after a while, “I just feel overwhelmed and somewhat lost.”

 

He sighed deeply and tried not to break down himself. He needed to be calm and collected for Ala’s sake when she woke up.

 

“Pretty understandable.” Tucker muttered, scratching his head, “I mean, it’s a pretty big bomb she dropped on you but you had a right to know.”

 

He sighed, “But it’s okay to feel lost or something.” He continued, “I mean I wouldn’t be reacting as calm and cool as you are currently. I would probably be throwing a fit or some other shit.” He chuckled lowly, although the laugh sounded bleak.

 

Wash laid an arm around Tucker’s shoulder to make him calm down.

 

North started to understand that it wasn’t only him who was affected by Ala’s injury and all the things she had carried around by herself.

 

However, Drew decided to not say a thing since he felt like Tucker would break down the moment he said anything wrong.

 

It was Wash who spoke up next in a low voice, “We are trying to understand what happened too. And we’re struggling with it, as you can see.”

 

North looked over to Tucker who was leaning against Wash and drawing shuddering breaths, obviously trying to control his emotions.

 

Wash continued, “What we want to say is that it’s understandable if you don’t feel okay. She’s your girlfriend, after all.”

 

North threw the Freelancer a sad stare, “I know I referred to her as my girlfriend before, but I am not sure if she still is.”

 

Wash smiled at that, “Give her some time. She needs time to come to terms with what happened to her all those years ago. And by that, I am not only speaking about the baby. I’m talking about your loss too and her having to start to realize that you are indeed back.”

 

“I need to be patient. I’ve figured out that much.” North sighed, but Wash shook his head.

 

“It’s not only that. You also have to be there for her and support her, even when she’s trying to drive you away. I don’t know how she was previously, but I got to know her as a person who tends to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and who refuses anyone who tries to help.”

 

North smiled at that, “She isn’t the only one though.” He replied.

 

He saw Wash and, oddly enough, Tucker look away somewhat in embarrassment at that.

 

He knew that Wash didn’t readily share what was bothering him with others or let others help him out given what he had gone through, but North had always suspected Tucker to be more of the sharing kind who tried to get advice from Wash or the others whenever he could.

 

In any case, it wasn’t his place to point that out right and have the two of them fight with each other.

 

“Anyways,” North coughed lowly, looking over to Ala, “I guess I will try to get some sleep myself. I don’t need her to hound me for being reckless yet again.”

 

This drew another smile out of Tucker, “Are you already back to sleeping with her in the same bed?”

 

North couldn’t hide the blush that covered his cheeks just then despite the seriousness of the situation.

 

He coughed awkwardly again before answering, “I more or less was thinking about sleeping in my own bed and then checking in on her tomorrow morning.”

 

“I would stay with her, dude. She’s unstable at the moment and I doubt it would be such a good idea to leave her alone given that. At least until she’s woken up.” Tucker looked over to the still sleeping figure of the black-haired woman.

 

“I agree with Tucker. In this situation you really shouldn’t leave her alone, North.” Wash added in.

 

Looking over to his girlfriend, the violet-wearing man pondered over the situation and then nodded with a sigh.

 

“Okay, I will stay here. Guess I will take the carpet then.” He replied, still watching the woman on the cot.

 

Tucker got up to his feet with a low groan, “How about Wash and I get your stuff from your room so you can sleep here with no worries? No need to go even more ascetic than we already live, dude.”

 

North couldn’t help but chuckle at Tucker’s wording and how Wash rolled his eyes at Tucker’s choice of words, but nodded in response.

 

North looked up to the two men standing there, waiting for a verbal answer, “If you would do that, I would be much obliged.”

 

“Sure thing.” Tucker answered, grinning weakly, “We’ll be back in ten minutes at the latest.” He said, turning around and pulling Wash out of the room along with him.

 

Which left North alone with Ala again.

 

Emptying his bottle of water, he walked over to the bed where the woman was still out cold.

 

He was happy that Wash and Tucker had come over and had sat with him for a while, or he would have felt like snapping even more. Sure, he still felt lost and overwhelmed, but he didn’t feel like he was going to break at any moment anymore.

 

When Wash and Tucker showed up some minutes later with the thin mattress and the even thinner blanket from his room, he smiled thankfully and wished them a good rest of the night once they had helped him set up the mattress.

 

It was close enough that he could be there the moment he heard Alaska getting restless, yet it was giving her enough space to not feel suffocated by his presence and it made it possible for her to get out of her bed without stepping on him in the process.

 

Lying down on the mattress, he huddled up in his blanket and tried to fall asleep though he found himself unable to do so.

 

He was lying wide awake, his thoughts running in circles without ever reaching a conclusion of some sort throughout the entire night.

 

He realized that the night was over when the sun started coming out over the horizon.

 

Sometime later, North couldn’t tell how long it was that he had been lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, he could hear Ala starting to move.

 

Checking his watch, he could see that it was around seven in the morning.

 

North had thought about switching the alarm off and giving Alaska some much needed sleep. He was pretty sure that either Tucker or Wash would inform Kimball of the situation if Ala or himself didn’t show up when called upon. Ala still was officially out of duty, so another day of her not showing up for discussions about the rebuilding of the city wouldn’t hurt matters.

 

But at the latest tomorrow, he would propose getting back to work since this also helped take your mind off of things and get better. Sometimes work helped you in getting better because you weren’t thinking of the problem that was causing you so much pain.

 

In any case, there would be a lot of talking ahead and it was not only Ala who had to heal. He also had to heal, and North knew that Theta also had some things that he needed to come to terms with.

 

All three of them would have to heal in some way in order to be able to move on from there.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BGC's way of getting people to talk... XD

“This,” Tucker said out loud, “Has to stop. Now.”

 

He put down his empty mug with an audible sound, “I mean, seriously, they’ve been dancing around each other for days now and I am fucking fed up with them not getting their shit straight.”

 

“Look who’s talking...” Grif drawled out from his place on the opposite side of the table.

 

“Oh, shut up, you weren’t any better.” The teal-clad soldier replied snappily.

 

Grif snorted at that comment, “At least I didn’t have my sister playing wingman for me.”

 

Tucker threw him a grin at that, “I doubt that Simmons would have accepted you asking him out if it had been your sister playing wingman instead of North.”

 

“True.” Simmons stated from beside Grif, deliberately taking a sip out of his mug.

 

“Traitor.” Grif grumbled towards Simmons, who in return only shrugged his shoulders.

 

Ever since he and Grif had become a thing, Simmons had gotten a lot calmer. Some good screwing definitely seemed to help in that case, Tucker thought. _Bow-chicka-bow-wow._

 

He was so deep in his thoughts then that he almost missed Grif’s reply, “My sister is an awesome wingman.”

 

“I know other things she was awesome at. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!”

 

When he saw Grif’s face darken and Simmons putting down his mug just in case he had to be ready to hold Grif back if he wanted to strangle Tucker from across the table, said dark-skinned man coughed awkwardly.

 

Sister always was a touchy subject for Grif, especially now that she had vanished from Blood Gulch without any trace left of her.

 

“Anyways, back to the topic. We need to get Ala and North to talk to each other again.” Tucker was glad for once that one of Kimball’s meetings went longer than planned and all of the Freelancers, including Ala, had been summoned there.

 

Why Tucker and the other captains hadn’t been called upon was a mystery to Tucker, but something was probably going on where Kimball needed the knowledge of the super-special-kickass-soldiers of their team.

 

Lifting his mug and realizing that it was empty, he put it back down with a groan.

 

Simmons had surely drunken the rest of the coffee that they had gotten for today’s lunch – that fucking coffee addict.

 

Shooting said cyborg a withering glare, he saw him only lift an eyebrow while looking over the rim of his mug, a silent _‘So?’_ pretty clearly written on his face. Asshole.

 

Groaning, he rubbed his burning eyes. It was morning and Tucker felt like he wanted to go to bed again. He was still lacking sleep these past several days from when either Wash, North, or Tucker himself were around Ala.

 

Last night it had been Tucker staying with her.

 

She slowly was recovering from the breakdown, now also seeing Grey regularly to get everything sorted out with her help. Tucker knew Ala well enough to know that the only coping method she knew was to push everything aside so long as things went well… until they _couldn’t_ go well anymore.

 

To be honest, every member of the Blood Gulch Crew was like that… but the situation here was serious and she couldn’t get over that with only his, Wash’s, and North’s help. She needed professional help to get over what she had been carrying around for about eleven years.

 

Grey knowing her inside and out – literally – was probably the best shot to help her. Tucker couldn’t help but shudder at his own creepy wording. It sounded way less creepy when he was thinking about it without saying it out loud in his own head.

 

“Anyone have an idea?” He asked, more loudly than intended to get his brain to shut up from spewing obscenities that even he wasn’t happy thinking of.

 

“Shouldn’t we… I don’t know… give them time to figure it out?” Simmons asked, looking a bit insecure and unsure.

 

Grif chuckled from where he was sitting beside him, “Like that’s ever worked well with our group. Do you know of anyone around here who didn’t have to get kicked in the ass to start talking?”

 

“I was just giving out ideas, what’s yours then?” The redhead snapped back, putting the mug down so forcefully with his cybernetic arm that the handle cracked.

 

“How about having Tucker talk to North and then let them figure shit out? They know her best.” Grif replied.

 

Tucker snorted, “And getting shortened a head by my sister when she finds out about that? I’d like to keep my beautiful face unmarred, thanks.”

 

Grif showed him the middle finger then, to which Tucker replied back with the same gesture.

 

“We could tell them to make up and kiss!” Caboose put his two cents in, although he kept his voice down which Tucker was grateful for. He didn’t need the whole mess hall to know what they were up to.

 

“Yeah, as if that has worked at any time before with our crew.” If he hadn’t heard himself say those words, Tucker would have sworn that they were coming from Church.

 

Caboose’s crestfallen face made him regret his words instantly.

 

“Sorry, buddy, but I don’t think it’s that simple with them. I guess they need a bit more persuasion than just that.”

 

“How about giving them the opportunity to either talk or I’ll start taking potshots at them?” Sarge’s gruff southern accent made itself known in the conversation at this point.

 

“Good idea, sir!” Simmons perked up at Sarge’s inclusion into the discussion.

 

Grif mumbled a quick “Nerd.” under his breath at his boyfriend before retorting to Sarge, “Like standing at gunpoint would cause any productive discussion to start.”

 

Sarge only snorted at him, “Like you would ever know, you good-for-nothing!”

 

“Glad to be of service, sir!” Grif’s sarcasm was thick and Tucker rolled his eyes at the usual Red Team antics on display currently.

 

“How about we put them into a closet and lock them up until they talk?” Donut was now joining the discussion, “Squeezing into tight spaces always makes my tongue come lose!”

 

“I’m pretty sure of that…” Tucker muttered, trying to get rid of the mental image that Donut had just given him.

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed.

 

“Well, I guess that’s the best shot we have and when it doesn’t work… we can still try Caboose’s idea. You guys in?”

 

“Playing pranks on people? I’m in!” Grif, usually oh-so-lazy, was always the first person in line whenever they were about to start a prank war.

 

Tucker had been pretty surprised to see how much effort Grif put into pranks when they had started a personal prank war back in Blood Gulch and Tucker never knew what he was facing when it happened to be Grif’s turn. Having some itching powder put in his undersuit was probably the least bad thing that had happened to him then. The sucker could be pretty creative when he played pranks.

 

One by one, the others also agreed on helping and, soon after, they were arguing about which closet to use and how to get both of them in there without causing too much of a ruckus.

 

“Sounds interesting. What are you planning?” Putting his tan helmet down, York flopped down on the bench next to Tucker.

 

All of the people there jumped in unison at his sudden appearance.

 

“Nothing!” Tucker managed to get out while the others shook their heads frantically in agreement.

 

“Uh-huh, sure. You’re the perfect picture of innocence.” York rolled his eyes, “Come on, Carolina and the others aren’t going to be around for another thirty minutes. So, what’s up?”

 

Tucker sighed. He knew very well that York had caught them red-handed and that they would have to let him in on what they were planned if they wanted this stunt to have a chance at all. Having York on their side maybe wouldn’t be that bad given the fact that he knew North pretty well back from their days together in Freelancer. Another view on North wouldn’t’ be all that bad actually, Tucker mused.

 

“We need to get North and Ala to talk.”

 

“By locking them in a closet.” York stated after they had finished telling him their plans, looking incredulous, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

 

“It got Donut and Wash talking again when he was all awkward about having shot Donut.” Tucker pointed out.

 

“Very true. It was tight and cozily warm in there. I liked that.” Donut replied with his perky voice.

 

York looked rather bewildered at that statement.

 

“Uh yeah. And you think that will seriously help?” He asked when he’d finally gotten his mind back on track, looking at the guys’ faces as he realized something with growing horror, “Holy hell, you’re serious.”

 

“Of course, we’re serious! Why do you think we are even planning to cooperate with these filthy Blues!” Sarge drawled in his southern accent.

 

“Okay, so you seriously want to lock North and Ala up in a closet until they talk. I can only hope that Ala isn’t claustrophobic.”

 

“She’s only afraid of the dark. She’s probably least afraid of closets out of all of us.” Tucker replied, staring ahead at the wall on the opposite side of the mess hall.

 

“Okay so how are you going to do it then?” York asked, grasping one of the water bottles and opening it. He took a huge gulp of its contents while listening to Tucker.

 

“I will handle Ala. I happen to know that she stores some gun oil and some books in one closet. I’ll simply push them to the back so she won’t be able to reach them.” Tucker began, his face becoming contemplative, “You, York, could get North to come along with something about how Mac needs his help to get something down from a shelf since he’s still a bit bigger than her.”

 

He continued, turning to the cyborg next, “Simmons, your job is to keep Wash and Carolina away from the floor.”

 

“How do I do that?” Although he was calmer now that he had started dating Grif, Simmons’ voice would always still turn an octave higher whenever it came to him talking to either women or higher ups.

 

“I don’t care, tell them something about fucked up color codes in storage. You’re a sucker for that. Take Grif with you to make it seem more plausible.” Tucker replied, not really caring how Simmons went about doing his side of the plan. But out of all of them, Carolina and Wash would be the least suspicious that something was up if it was Simmons showing up and telling them something about a fucked up storage system.

 

“However,” Tucker carried on with the planning, ignoring Simmons suddenly blanching at the added pressure put upon him and the look crossing over his face as if he was going to throw up his breakfast, “The others will be keeping watch and making sure that anyone else stays away from the floor.”

 

Tucker looked around before concluding his thoughts, “…Which shouldn’t be too difficult since that floor pretty much belongs to us.”

 

“I will keep a vigilante eye out for any person trying to penetrate our rears!”

 

“Yeah. Thanks, Donut…” Tucker sighed.

 

“There’s only one thing that is still unclear to me, and that’s when this whole thing is supposed to go down.” York casually stated, “And you’d better be talking about that fast, since Carolina just messaged me that they will be in the mess hall in five.”

 

The teal-armored soldier quickly looked at the faces of everyone there before announcing decisively, “We’ll be doing it today after lunch. This will give enough time for preparation and for Grif to fuck up the storage somehow so that Simmons can cry a river to Carolina and Wash about needing help to get the fucked-up storage back in order.”

 

“I won’t be crying a river!” Simmons insisted, but Grif only snorted at that from beside him.

 

The fond look that they both shared moments later belied all of the animosity that they had been exchanging mere moments ago, however.

 

***

 

When the afternoon rolled around, Tucker was already done with all of his tasks like running laps and doing squats.

 

He had also already prepared the closet for their little ambush.

 

Wearing his helmet, he could see the others messaging regularly where they were.

 

Caboose, Donut, and Sarge were setting up the security perimeter around the floor. Grif was currently messing up the storage, and Simmons was almost having a crying fit already.

 

York was writing that North was on his way to their floor, so the others should retreat so as to not make themselves appear suspicious.

 

Moments later… Sarge, Donut, and Caboose reappeared, waiting for York’s sign that the coast was clear.

 

Tucker knew that Ala wasn’t wearing armor since Doctor Grey had it under lock and key to keep her from going into combat again before she was halfway stable.

 

North’s own armor had taken a beating during their last mission and was currently being repaired by their mechanic ace, Jensen. The teal-armored soldier was pretty sure that Palomo was with her too whenever he didn’t have to run laps like Ala ordered him to do a lot of the time.

 

He grinned at that. His sister could be such an asshole sometimes. She was nice and gentle in general, but if you got on her wrong side… she could become such an asshole.

 

Closing the door, Tucker slipped into his room and swiftly changed into his civvies and disassembled his gun.

 

After that, he quickly put the gun oil away and stored it in York’s room to make everything seem more plausible.

 

When York’s and the others’ signs of _all clear_ came, Tucker officially announced that the mission was starting.

 

Firstly, he would start it up by calling his sister.

 

It didn’t even ring two times before she picked up the phone. Tucker could practically hear it in her breathing that she was bored out of her skull: doing laps all the time was pretty boring to him too.

 

“S’up, little bro?” she asked, obviously outside and supervising the Lieutenants from the background noises that he was picking up.

 

Tucker thanked whatever deity there was in heaven that she wasn’t with Kimball this time like she so often was now during her lockdown.

 

“Hey, sis. Would you mind giving me your gun oil? I wanted to clean my gun and I’m out of it.”

 

There was a long silence before she asked, “Couldn’t you ask Wash or someone else for theirs?”

 

“Wash said something about having to go comfort Simmons since someone apparently messed up the storage and the others all are greedy bastards.” Tucker explained, pacing in his room and toying with his gun to make it sound plausible.

 

“So, what about Junior? He’s the tallest of us.”

 

Shit, she was getting suspicious.

 

“Yeah, you know, he’s in a phone call meeting at the moment with Sangheilios about the terms of the peace and support contract. I think he wants to stay here as ambassador.” Tucker cringed at his pitchy voice and how it sounded so obvious that he has telling a lie.

 

Another silence lingered on the other end of the line before there was a long, drawn out sigh, “Okay, I am coming.”

 

“Yeah! Thanks, sis!” He cheered, thanking again every deity around that he had gotten through with it, hanging up right afterwards and sending York a message over his phone that Ala was coming up and that he would call him up when it was time to send North on his way.

 

York informed him soon after that North was with him and they were talking about the good ole Freelancer days.

 

A knocking on his door drew Tucker’s attention to it. Putting down the gun parts, he got up and opened the door.

 

“Just in time, sis.” He greeted her, earning a raised eyebrow from the woman but nothing more than that.

 

“Let’s get you the oil. But I am warning you, if you use it again to jerk off I am going to throw you out of the window.” She muttered, heading to the storage unit.

 

“No way, I have Wash for that now! Bow-chicka-bow-wow!”

 

His sister only groaned, opening the door to the closet and trying to reach the oil.

 

Tucker congratulated himself that he was smart enough to put the oil so far away that even he couldn’t reach it. Only North would be able to reach it thanks to his height.

 

After some tries without either of them getting the oil, Tucker sighed, “I’m going to ask York if he can help me.”

 

Due to Mac not being her best yet when it came to her physical strength due to her recent injury, he decided to ask York instead.

 

He feared that he would cause her to fall in this small closet. At least, that was what he mumbled while making a show of dialing York’s number.

 

“Yo, York.” Tucker greeted after York picked up the phone, “I need your help in the living complex on our floor. The gun oil is out of reach.”

 

There was an affirmative response and soon after Tucker hung up.

 

“York’s coming up to help.” Tucker explained with a large grin on his face.

 

He saw Sarge, Donut, and Caboose appear and disappear into Donut’s room, all of them chatting about some beauty tips that obviously applied for guns too if Sarge being so on board _that_ particular train of conversation was any indication to go by.

 

Five minutes later, the door opened and North, not York, appeared.

 

He walked up to the closet where the siblings were still standing.

 

“York said that he wanted to discuss something with Carolina. You need some help up here?” He asked casually, his eyes scanning the environment around them before landing on Ala who immediately looked away.

 

Tucker slipped out of the closet as if to make space for North as he explained the situation to him, “Yeah, the gun oil is too far up in this closet and mine is used up. I need it to clean my gun.”

 

North looked at him a bit longer with a bit of a surprised glance, but then turned around and walked to the back of the closet where Ala was making him space. She was obviously trying to get out of his way.

 

The last thing she saw was Tucker’s huge grin as he slammed the door shut – luckily, it opened to the outside – and put a chair underneath it to lock it effectively.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tucker is in for some trouble... XD

North should have known that something was up when York almost desperately tried to involve him in a talk about their Freelancer days.

 

It was common knowledge what they were talking about, really. Being best friends brought with it that you knew exactly what the other was thinking back then.

 

So, when York suddenly started to stir up old stories, he should have become suspicious. But he had chalked it up to York usually not being the best when it came to remembering things, so he was patiently talking with him through these episodes again.

 

That was, until his phone went off.

 

In hindsight, York hadn’t really been subtle about it. He was checking his phone more often than usually. He never checked his phone so much unless Carolina was about to call in.

 

And, to be honest, North had to admit that York currently looked fucking nervous.

 

Upon answering his phone, there was a short exchange between York and obviously Tucker given the way he was talking.

 

After hanging up the phone, he looked at the screen.

 

“Oh shit! I have a meeting with ‘Lina!”

 

North already had a sneaking suspicion as to how this ‘meeting’ would play out.

 

“Tucker needs help with getting gun oil out of the closet on their floor. Shortie can’t reach it.” York further explained.

 

North didn’t react on it on the outside, but inwardly he was raising an eyebrow at York. It wasn’t like Tucker was _that_ small.

 

Sure, he was a tad shorter than him and York, but it wasn’t like he was as small as Sarge who was only five feet and five inches tall.

 

That old man always remembered North of a Chihuahua: small, loud, annoying, and vicious.

 

York was now grumbling something before he started to grin widely, “Know what, buddy? You’re bigger than me, why don’t you go get Tucker the oil? I’m pretty sure you can reach it. I gotta go, however, since ‘Lina’s probably already waiting.”

 

With that, the tan-wearing soldier got up and left the room before North was even able to protest.

 

With a sigh, the taller of them got up and walked to where York said he was needed, saying to himself that he might as well do it since York obviously couldn’t or wouldn’t.

 

Walking up to the building complex where York, himself, and the other members of the Blood Gulch Crew including Ala had their homes until the first apartments were rebuilt, he couldn’t help but think about the black-haired woman turning his world upside-down at the moment.

 

Wait… No, not at the moment. She had been doing that for quite a while, if he was being honest with himself.

 

Sighing, he walked past Sarge and Donut, the latter of which who was not able to hide an excited squeal, though North decided to chalk it up on one of the odd Donut-typical-behavioral-scenes that the pink-wearing man often had.

 

Reaching the floor, he could see that Tucker and someone else, most likely Ala, were in the little storage room on the floor. Obviously neither of them had been able to get what the dark-skinned man wanted.

 

Walking up to the little room, he could see Tucker noticing him. This was shortly followed by Ala doing the same as well.

 

“York said that he wanted to discuss something with Carolina. You need some help up here?” He asked casually, his eyes scanning the environment before landing on Ala who quickly looked away.

 

It was strange, seeing her that flustered and awkward, but he decided to let it be and look over to Tucker who was sporting a wide grin.

 

Stepping aside, the young male made space for North to walk up to the storage room, “Yeah, the gun oil is too far up and mine is used up. I need it to clean my gun.” the dark-skinned man explained.

 

Looked at in hindsight, this _should_ have gotten North’s attention, since Wash always had to shoo Tucker to clean his gun if he wasn’t doing it himself. Tucker rarely ever cleaned his gun out of his own accord.

 

He didn’t really put much thought into the whole situation at the moment, deciding to put that realization aside and get the gun oil before questioning Tucker as to why he needed it when he was not even cleaning his gun regularly.

 

He couldn’t finish the task as readily as he had wanted to do, since as soon as he reached up to get the oil and Ala pressed herself up in one of the corners of the room to get as much space between her and him as possible since she hadn’t been able to slip past him earlier, he heard the audible and telltale _‘Clap’_ of the door and how a key was turned around in the lock.

 

Immediately, the gun oil was forgotten.

 

North stood at the door, banging at it and demanding to be let out.

 

Luckily there was a geriatric light bulb, spending just enough light to see the outlines of things when the door was closed.

 

“Tucker!” There was a bang at the door, “Open this door!”

 

“Nope, not until you finally talk shit out!” the dark-skinned man replied with a huge grin, standing in front of the door and looking at the rattling knob.

 

“You are going to make up and kiss!” Caboose said loudly, North sighing on the other side.

 

The Freelancer could tell that the other members of the Blood Gulch Crew were showing up one by one now.

 

“Come on, buddy.” This was York speaking up, “It really is time. Talk it out.” The grin was evident in his voice and North sighed again.

 

“And how do you think being locked in a closet helps?” He asked, turning around to look at Ala incredulously.

 

The woman was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall behind her. She snorted, the sound slowly turning into laugher.

 

He couldn’t really believe his eyes or his ears in this case. Was Ala seriously laughing right now?

 

Looking at her as if she had grown a second head, he waited for her to calm down and explain, which she did only moments later.

 

“This is the Blood-Gulch-Style way of saying _‘sit the fuck down and fucking talk about it.’_ ” She shrugged after that, continuing to look at the wall on the other side of the room, pointedly avoiding eye contact with North.

 

“Yeah and you better do that, or we’re not going to let you out!” Tucker’s voice rang out from the other side of the door.

 

North could see Ala roll her eyes and get up from her spot on the floor, slipping out of her boots while walking over. Drew decided that he better take a step back from her and see what she was up to, since he didn’t want her boot in his face.

 

In hindsight, it wasn’t necessary since she slammed the heavy boot with full force against the door, presumably where Tucker’s face was pressed against it on the other side.

 

This earned them a distinctive yelp from the other side, “We’re definitely not going to talk it out with you gossip whores having your ears glued to the door.” She raised her voice a bit, sounding utterly annoyed and done.

 

The blond man couldn’t help but feel like there was a tiredness and awkwardness to her voice too, but that it was only audible when you knew her well enough.

 

There was grumbling and shuffling on the other side of the door. Ala was leaning against the frame beside the door, her arms crossed and eyes closed.

 

When it became silent and North had the notion that everyone must be gone, she snorted again, “As much as I appreciate you being fucking quiet for once, oh dear little brother of mine, I suppose you better start digging your own grave. You’re so dead when I get out of here.”

 

North was quite surprised when he heard another snort from the other side, “You wish.”

 

Opening her eyes, Ala grinned, “Wanna try it out?”

 

If they were in a shitty earth-cartoon, you would now see Tucker swallowing nervously on the other side of the door.

 

It was silent again, until there was a quiet shuffling and the male blond could see the woman relax visibly. Or it was more like slumping forward and sounding utterly defeated.

 

“You okay?” He couldn’t help but ask, taking a step forward and resting a hand on her cheek. He knew they were far from being a thing again, but he couldn’t help it after being around her for so long and not having been able to talk.

 

North couldn’t say if Ala still was the same. However, the way she was behaving now was how the old Ala would try to pretend sometimes: faking something that wasn’t true and trying to fool everyone with it.

 

It mostly seemed to work out. Or most of the guys knew when to keep away and when to talk to her. Tucker seemed the best at it: knowing exactly when he could tempt her and when he better give her space to sort things out on her own until she was ready to talk about it.

 

He blinked, rather surprised when he felt how the woman was leaning into the touch as if craving this kind of contact, though he could also feel some kind of reluctance towards the motion all the same.

 

“Now that our friends started an intervention… we might as well talk about it, don’t you think?” Andrew asked, a bit of a crooked smile on his face.

 

Ala sighed, a defeated sound that made North cringe. This sound almost pained him physically.

 

“I know…” she then said, lifting her head and looking at him.

 

North could see defeat and some sort of sadness in her eyes.

 

“But?” He asked, feeling the reluctance coming off of the woman in waves.

 

“I don’t know what to say after what I already told you.” Turning her head a bit, North could see her look away to a distant point somewhere far away and not here in this room.

 

They were both talking lowly, so that none of the guys would be able to catch up on what they were talking about and gossip it around the base.

 

“About you having changed during the past years.” He concluded, seeing how she was sighing again and nodding.

 

“As much as I still love you, Drew,” the mentioning of his real name from her and that she still loved him made his heart flutter and his head feel light, but he had to focus, “I changed. Unlike you, more than ten years passed for me. I changed. Every single member of the Blood Gulch Crew did. I can’t just jump back into what we had then and act as if nothing happened. That’s not me. I can’t even promise if it’s going to work out between us again with the time in-between.” She explained, a shuddering breath forcing its way out of her throat.

 

As much as she still loved the Freelancer currently locked in the room with her, she couldn’t jump back into how she was ten years ago. That wasn’t her anymore. She had seen a lot of shit and had gone through as much horror as the others had. Even after overcoming her fear of the Meta, she still tended to dream of the Meta during some nights. There were also the dreams about the day that North and Sasha had died. It haunted her, despite now knowing that North at least had returned.

 

But those years had taken a toll on her, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

 

It was silent for a long while, neither of them saying a word. It seemed deadly silent outside of the room, but both of them knew that the others were out there listening, itching to hear more from them and always inching closer to the door once more.

 

After a while, Ala banged against the door again, getting a yelp in return and the end result of the others backing away once more.

 

Those fuckers just couldn’t stay away and give them some space.

 

North sighed, unnerved.

 

Seriously, as much as he loved the guys as friends, didn’t they see that they were putting unnecessary pressure on them right now with their unquenchable thirst for gossip?

 

While Mac was doing her best to keep the guys out of earshot, North thought about the things he had just heard and talked about on the night when Ala had told him that he would have become a dad if he hadn’t died on such a crucial day. He shuddered a bit when thinking about the baby who had died on the very same day that he had.

 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. He knew that Ala had changed during the last several years. He understood it, even when for him only a few months had passed.

 

But how did that help the situation at hand? Would they ever be a couple again? Well, okay, given the fact that they both felt strongly for each other still, there was always hope. But in the end, they were still strangers to one another, no matter if they had known each other since for quite awhile in the past.

 

Given the time distance between their separation and last meeting, it was understandable that at least one of them changed in character and interests. So they were on square one so to speak. They were about the same as when North had woken up from unconsciousness in New-Bangkok, in Alas apartment, wrapped up in bandages and recovering from the crash of the Mother of Invention.

 

Rubbing a hand over his face, North leaned against the frame on the other side of the door. Seriously though, how should he approach this situation?

 

Knowing that the black-haired woman still felt strongly for him appeased a part of his anxiety at least. One of his biggest fears when thinking about how to talk to Ala now was due to thinking that she didn’t love him anymore, that she had moved on and now was with someone else or had decided to stay alone for the rest of her life entirely.

 

It would have been a logical and understandable thing to do, but hearing the opposite of that so clearly now set him at ease. Sure, he already had the suspicion that she still felt strongly for him when they were talking some time ago, but hearing it from her was the best confirmation that he could have gotten.

 

But there still was the problem about them dancing around each other like planets with neither of them knowing how to approach the other or react towards them.

 

They really were like strangers now.

 

So, what was the best way that they could get to know each other again, without one hurrying or pressuring the other?”

 

That was when he had an idea.

 

“We’re starting anew.” He muttered lowly.

 

Ala stopped her banging on the door in order to turn around and look at the man with a confused expression on her face.

 

“What?” She asked, looking at him a bit incredulously.

 

“I mean if you’re okay with it.” He hurried to add with an awkward smile, “You said it. We are like strangers to each other now with all these years in-between. And how do strangers get to know each other? By starting at the beginning.”

 

He scratched the back of his head, suddenly unable to meet Ala’s gaze, “Look, it’s a bit of a stupid idea, but how about we start anew? Get to know each other again as friends and possibly through dating, and the rest will be left open and we’ll see to where it carries us from there? At least we can’t say that we didn’t try it later on.” His laugh was slightly pained, as he was feeling horrible in that moment.

 

He felt like an idiot for bringing the subject up and it hurt him to have to start anew when he wanted nothing more than to walk over and kiss this beautiful woman standing on the opposite side from him.

 

He still loved the girl dearly, but he could understand her arguments too. Ten years was nothing to sneeze at when it comes to people changing during that time.

 

It was silent for another long while before Ala then slowly nodded, “Okay.” She said simply.

 

The Freelancer gaped at her, having not expected such a response at all, “What?”

 

She grinned at him her trademark lopsided grin, “I said okay. I think it’s worth a shot. You can get to know me anew, but there’s no pressure to get back to what we had earlier again. If it doesn’t work out and one of us says they don’t want that anymore, then the other will just have to accept it. Starting as friends and seeing where it takes us. Sounds like a good deal.”

 

North could see her cheeks darken while she started to ramble, an uneasy smile appearing on her lips.

 

“Okay, deal.” North muttered, lowering his head a bit and smiling happily. At least they were on common ground now and could continue with that, “How about we go for a walk tonight after dinner?”

 

Mac snorted at that, looking rather amused. “Not wasting any more time than necessary, huh?” She asked with a snicker in her voice.

 

North smiled in return, “Hey, I have a woman to woo, no time to lose.” He replied, using one of York’s lines whenever North had asked the other man why he was going out with Carolina so much so quickly after being released from the hospital.

 

Ala laughed lowly, looking at the door, “I won’t run away, don’t worry.”

 

It was spoken so lowly that North didn’t know if it was meant for him to hear.

 

He wouldn’t have been able to ask anyways since he could hear a commotion outside as Wash evidently had appeared with Carolina in tow. He could hear the younger Freelancer asking just what the fuck was going on.

 

Knocking at the door, Ala called out. “Hey, Caboose?”

 

“Yes, Mac?” The childlike member of the team asked.

 

“North and I made up, so can you let us out?” Her tone was sweet, like she was talking to a kid.

 

“Did you kiss?” Caboose asked in return and North could see Ala’s shoulders shake at her suppressed laughter.

 

“Yes, are we allowed to leave now? The air is getting pretty stuffy and you wouldn’t want to suffocate us, would you?”

 

“No, that’s something Tucker would do.” Caboose replied, North hearing steps coming closer, followed by a _“Hey!”_ from Tucker at Caboose’s implication.

 

“You’re a good boy, Caboose.” Ala praised him before a smile appeared on Ala’s lips that made North shudder in negative anticipation, “And when the door is open… could you stand aside, please?”

 

“Okay!” the biggest soldier of Blue Team chirped, the key scraping in the lock moments later.

 

Just when the man stepped aside and said that he had done so in his booming voice, Ala kicked the door open and was out of it with a horrible battle cry moments later.

 

The last thing he saw of her was when she was chasing after Tucker, who was hauling ass with a horrified screech.

 

Sauntering out behind the woman, he chuckled lowly, looking at an utterly done Washington and a Carolina who looked rather amused more than annoyed.

 

“So, you got to witness one of the Blood Gulch Crew’s quirks firsthand, huh?” She asked deliberately, looking at the guys grinning like idiots.

 

“Looks like it.” The oldest of the Freelancers replied, an amused glint in his eyes.

 

He felt someone nudging his side, looking over he could see that it was York. The guys of the Blood Gulch Crew were keeping their distance, letting the Freelancers talk amongst themselves.

 

“It’s okay. I think.” North explained, knowing why York nudged him.

 

“You think?” Wash asked, looking doubtful.

 

North shrugged, “It’s not okay yet, but another step towards it has been taken. We’re good. Not together but on the way there.” He explained, seeing how the tension seeped out of his friends’ postures.

 

“That’s good. You both had us worried for a while.” Carolina replied with a small smile, before her features hardened and she turned around to the group.

 

“And you guys are now going down to the warehouse to clean up the mess you caused!” She ordered the Reds, including Donut, Grif, Simmons, and Sarge.

 

As she shooed them off, North could hear Sarge complain, “This is a plot from those filthy Blues to try to subvert our commando structures!”

 

Wash beside him sighed, dragging a hand over his face while Carolina continued shooing the Reds down and over to the warehouse.

 

“You got your work cut out here, huh?” York asked with an amused glint in his eye.

 

Wash grunted at that, “In more ways than one, but they’re not that bad if you put their quirks and shenanigans aside.” He smiled over to the one-eyed man.

 

North replied with his own smile to the ones that the other two were wearing, “Glad to see you found your place. And friends to go along with it.” He could hear Wash chuckle and saw the fond smile on his face confirm North’s previous statement.

 

“Well…” He said after a moment, “We better go check on Ala and Tucker. She looked ready to skin him alive when she got out.” He continued jokingly.

 

Although all of them knew that Ala never would harm Tucker on purpose or with ill-intent, they all knew that she wasn’t exactly going easy on him whenever they were training or fooling around together.

 

Walking down to the central area of Armonia, they could see Tucker running as fast as not even Wash had ever got him to run.

 

Ala was hot on his heels, shouting, “Stop running away, you coward!”

 

All three of the men could see that there was more amusement in her voice at being able to scare Tucker than real anger anymore.

 

“Are you crazy!? I’d prefer to live another day!” Tucker replied, running even faster and jumping over an obstacle: a cart filled with bricks for the rebuilding of one of the apartment complexes.

“Then don’t lock me up in a closet, cockbite!” the woman replied, jumping over the cart as if it was nothing more than a little petal lying on the ground.

 

“That was a necessary thing! Otherwise you never would had made up and out, Bow-chicka-bow—ouch!”

 

Throwing a stick between Tucker’s legs made him fall down face first, and Ala was over him the moment he was lying flat on the ground. She was now starting to give him a hard time by tickling him.

 

Rarely would anyone suspect Tucker to be that fucking ticklish aside from her and Wash. His sides were one huge playground for people who wanted to torture him by tickling him.

 

Indeed, the moment her fingers started to brush over his flanks over his shirt, the dark-skinned man started snorting, laughing, and squirming underneath of her.

 

“Stop it! You’re killing me!” He pressed out between laughter.

 

“What… you or your reputation?” She quipped.

 

“My dignity, asshole.” He replied, trying to push her hands away, which wasn’t a very easy task given the fact that he was lying on his belly and his sister was sitting on his ass and keeping his upper body down with one of her hands firmly placed on his neck.

 

“That’s already crushed, honey, didn’t you know?” she replied sweetly.

 

She kept up the torment of tickling Tucker until he wasn’t much more than a wheezing mess on the ground, pleading with her to stop.

 

“You know how.” She replied simply, not stopping the tickling as a sadistic smile appeared on her face.

 

“Never!” Turning his head, he glared at her between peals of laughter.

 

“Your decision.” She merely shrugged, continuing with her tickling until Tucker let out a high-pitched noise again and again until the woman stopped.

 

They both knew that this was Sangheili and meant nothing more than _“Mama.”_ It was not something a Sangheili or someone knowing their culture would ever do since that was something a baby did, and not grown ass men and warriors.

 

A least it was Sangheili, so not many would understand what he said.

 

Lying on the ground, wheezing and desperately trying to catch his breath, he felt how Ala’s hands left his side and neck but didn’t move off his back.

 

Shifting her weight, Tucker felt her leaning over until her face was next to his left ear, “Thanks though, brother.”

 

Tucker couldn’t do more than snort weakly, feeling her weight leaving his body to which he turned around to catch his breath with his eyes closed.

 

He opened them again when he felt a shadow fall across his face. It was Wash standing over him, about to crouch down beside his boyfriend.

 

“You okay?” He asked, looking a bit worried.

 

“Aw, you’re worried about me?” Tucker asked, his breath back to normal though he wasn’t feeling like getting up and walking off.

“Forget I asked.” Wash replied dryly, but didn’t make a move to walk away.

 

“But if you want to know,” Tucker continued after a while, “It was totally worth it.” He grinned broadly.

 

Wash huffed at that, a small smile creeping onto his lips when he got up and extended a hand towards the dark-skinned man to help him get up.

 

Grasping it, he let Wash help him onto his feet and steady him. The whole running around bit and getting tickled had used up almost all of his energy.

 

Leaning against Wash, he could feel one of the Freelancer’s hands sneaking around his waist.

 

“I guess I’ll only add five rounds to your lap count tomorrow for what you did today.”

 

Tucker whined at that.

 

“I would add fifteen, but you already made up quite a bit with running around now.” Wash replied to Tucker’s whine.

 

“Wow, I thank you for your fucking consideration.” Tucker replied dryly, grinning widely at Wash when they walked up to the other Freelancers waiting at the entrance of the building complex they all were living in.

 

Even Carolina had returned by now, having left the Reds to clean up the mess that they had helped to create on their own.


End file.
